Lost in Bliss

by Lexi Blake

  Cam snorted. “Not going to happen. You’re not in charge tonight, baby.”

  The door to the SUV opened, and she found herself stuffed into the car. Rafe followed hard after her while Cam raced around to the front seat. Before she could scoot to the other side, Rafe pulled her close. His arms circled her.

  “We’ve been going about this all wrong. We’ve been treating you like fragile glass, but you’re not fragile, bella. You’re strong. You’re so fucking strong. You can handle a fight. We’re going to give it to you.” Rafe’s warm breath played along her skin. “Some of the other men seem to think we should tie you up and spank you until you submit.”

  She was so going to kill Stefan Talbot.

  “But I think that would cause more trouble,” Rafe concluded.

  “I voted for the spanking, baby,” Cam said as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I thought it sounded hot.”

  “We’ll see how you like it then,” she shot back.

  “Yes, I thought that would be your reaction,” Rafe murmured as he stroked her hair. He should stop doing that. He was kidnapping her. “So Cam and I compromised.”

  “We’re going to fuck you until you admit you love us,” Cam explained.

  “I already admitted I love you.” Loving them wasn’t the problem. She would love them until the day she died, but she couldn’t ask them to give up everything for her.

  “Fine, we’ll fuck you until you forgive us.” Rafe’s hands delved under the collar of her blouse. She tried to move away, but he held her tight. It occurred to her that she should be fighting this loss of freedom.

  When she’d first come to Bliss, she’d had terrible nightmares about being held down. Over the years, those nightmares had shifted and turned into dreams of being wrapped in Rafe and Cam. Fear had changed to longing. She still had the occasional dream that de Sade had come for her, but lately, the end had changed. Lately, when she thought she would die, the bonds that held her down became warm hands stroking her and Rafe’s voice telling her she was safe. She would look up and Cam was the one standing over her, a look of love in his eyes.

  “I forgive you,” she said, emotion choking her. Damn it. If it was forgiveness they were looking for, then she would give it to them. She could give them what they needed. She could forgive them, but she was never going to…

  Tears streamed down now.

  “Bella?” Rafe forced her face up.

  “I don’t forgive me,” she choked out. “Oh, god, I don’t forgive me.”

  She let Rafe pull her into his arms, his warmth surrounding her. She was here when all those other women were gone from this earth. Why was she the only one? And how could she have walked away? She’d run so fast and so far, but he’d caught up with her, and what had that cost all of them?

  “I should have stayed,” she whispered against the fabric of Rafe’s shirt.

  Strong hands stroked her. “Bella, you can’t blame yourself.”

  Couldn’t she? The sight of those girls haunted her. She’d known he was lurking, and she’d chosen to hide. She’d picked her pain over what she’d known was right. God, she’d never cried. Five years and she’d never cried.

  At first it had been all about surviving. It had been all about putting one foot in front of the other and making it through the day without blowing her brains out. She’d walked out because she couldn’t deal with Rafe or Cam. She hadn’t been able to face them, much less choose between them. She’d made it through the police interviews by pretending it had happened to someone else. She had pushed it back until she told herself it didn’t touch her anymore, but now she could see it had affected her every minute of every day.

  “He hurt me.”

  A stupid assertion. Obviously he’d hurt her, but she’d never said it so simply. She’d told them the clinical details of what had happened to her. She’d explained how he’d bound her and how she’d gotten away. She’d described the knife he’d used on her in technical details, but not how it had felt when he’d shoved it in her torso. He’d used a small knife, and he’d cut her over and over. It had been enough to hurt, but not kill her right away. She’d never told them how she’d felt. She’d never told them how she’d felt when she’d woken up from anesthesia and the doctor had told her that he’d been forced to perform a hysterectomy in order to stop her internal bleeding. There had been numerous other things, but that was all she’d heard that first night.

  “I’m sorry, bella.”

  She could feel something wet on her forehead. Tears. Rafe was crying with her. Big, strong Rafe was crying. She clung to him. If he could cry, she could, too. She could be brave enough to do it.

  “He made me feel small.” She’d been insignificant. She’d been nothing but a body bound to a slab. An insect to dissect. She’d been nothing to him. Hours of torture had led her to the conclusion that she was nothing.

  When the Marquis de Sade had left her alone abruptly, it had taken everything she had to fight. She’d gotten one hand free by working it out of the binding. She’d used her own blood to do it. She’d found a towel and shoved it against her belly to hold herself together. She’d found the door that led out to the warehouse he was using and made her way to the street. All the way she’d wondered if it was even worth it. Her feet had moved as though the will to live was something that put her on autopilot. How long had she been on autopilot?

  “You weren’t small, baby.” Emotion choked Cam’s throat as he drove toward her cabin. “You were loved. No matter what he did to you, you were loved. So fucking precious to me.”

  “To both of us.” Rafe’s hands tightened as though he was scared to let her go. “He can’t take that from you. He can’t make you small. You’re Laura Rosen…Niles…whatever you want to call yourself, and you are loved. Always loved.”

  It hadn’t happened to someone else. It had happened to her. It wasn’t technical. It was visceral and emotional, and she’d ignored it for far too long. It was still happening to her because she wouldn’t let these two men in. She’d lied to Logan. She’d lied to Rafe and Cam. She’d lied to herself. She wasn’t pushing them away for their own good. She was letting that fucker win because he was affecting her life.

  She sobbed because she’d held it in for so long. She’d sat up alone at night, a pain in her chest that wouldn’t let her go. She released it now because for the first time in years, she was finally safe. The danger might not have passed, but she was safe.

  She was loved. No matter what he did to her, she was loved.

  “I can’t have babies.” That hurt most of all. He’d taken that from her. He’d taken her babies. All that mattered was the fact that she would never have a family. The tears became a flood.

  “We can. We can do anything we want,” Rafe promised, rocking her gently. “You can’t carry them, but we can find a surrogate. We can adopt. Bella, if you want a family, we’ll have one.”

  Was it really that simple? If she let go of the pain, could she have what she wanted? She loved Bliss, but she needed these men. In the end, if she had to choose, she would choose them.

  The car stopped, and Cam was in the backseat in seconds, his strong body wrapping around her. “Baby, we can be happy. I promise. We’ll do anything to make you happy. This is our second chance, but you should know I’ll ask for a third and a fourth and forever. I’ll never give up on this.”

  “Never, bella. I quit, and I’m not going back,” Rafe promised. “This is my life. You and Cam are my family. Bliss is going to be our home.”

  Her head came up. She’d been ready to leave with them. “You don’t have to quit. I knew if I was going to be with you, I would have to leave.”

  He shook his head. “No. You said you liked the you this place brought out. I think I’m starting to like this me. Home is where you are. That’s enough.”

  “And I like it here. I have a crappy job with a boss who seems highly difficult and a town that is not likely to recognize my authority. What more could I ask for?” Cam asked
with the dippiest grin on his gorgeous face.

  Joy, pure and real, burst through her. Love was right there. All she had to do was say one little word. “Yes.”

  “Oh, now you’re in for it.” Cam dragged her out of the car. He hauled her up.

  Rafe was opening the door to her cabin with a key she hadn’t given him. She sent him a questioning look.

  “I told you I could sneak back in.” He had the most devilish grin on his face. “You said yes.”

  She nodded. “I said yes. I’ll say it again.”

  She’d said no to so many things in the last five years. She’d said no to herself. But she wasn’t going to say no to them. She was done with that.

  Rafe leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. “I’ll expect you to say ‘I do’ to us very soon.”

  She would get married. She’d thought she’d lost that. She could see clearly now how she’d given up on her future. She gripped Cam and pulled his head down for a kiss, too. She loved how different they were. Rafe was overwhelming. He came in like a marauder, trying to conquer everything he touched. Cam was softer, but no less possessive. He was the easy touch.

  Cam’s tongue touched hers in lazy play. It felt different. There was nothing between them now. Certainly not the pain of the past. There was only the future. She opened herself and let him in. He moved through the doorway even as he kissed her.

  “Get her clothes off.” Rafe slammed the door.

  She was set on her feet, and big hands pulled at her clothes. Her shirt came over her head and a second set of hands tugged at the back of her bra. Her breasts bounced free, the nipples tightening in the cool air. Cam’s fingers undid the fly of her jeans and delved inside. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of her panties, seeking her pussy. She shivered as he stroked over her clit.

  “She’s already getting wet.” Cam’s voice held a wealth of satisfaction.

  She couldn’t help it. She was always ready around them. She’d never thought she was a sexual creature, but she became a beast around them. She pushed her pelvis against his hand, seeking more contact. God, she wanted to fuck that hand. “I’m ready. One of you should fuck me.”

  Cam’s hand came out of her jeans.

  She didn’t like that. “What are you doing?”

  An evil, entirely sexy grin crossed his face. “Taking our time. And we won’t be taking turns tonight. We’re a team, Rafe and I. You should get ready to get packed full of cock tonight, baby.”

  She gasped, the breath leaving her body. They meant to take her together? They had never done it before.

  They both moved back and stared at her.

  “Take off the rest of your clothes.” Rafe’s eyes narrowed on her breasts.

  “Leave the shoes on.” Cam pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his ridiculously toned chest.

  His shoulders were broad and ripped. Laura couldn’t help but stare. Rafe unbuttoned his shirt. He was leaner than Cam, but no less hot. His olive skin was perfect and his abs spectacular. She looked down and saw that they were both sporting erections. They would use those on her. One in her pussy and the other would take her ass. They were so big. She would be full of them. She would be surrounded by them.

  “Why are you hesitating, bella? There is no going back.”

  “Are you rethinking that spanking now, Rafe?” Cam looked at Rafe and for the first time seemed perfectly comfortable. They had always avoided eye contact with each other during sex.

  “Absolutely.”

  She started to shove her jeans and panties down her legs. She stepped out of her canary-yellow four-inch d’Orsay heels.

  “I said keep the shoes on.” Rafe’s voice was commanding. He seemed to have been taking lessons from Stef.

  She kicked the clothes out of the way and put her feet back in the heels. “I heard you, but those are skinny jeans. Aren’t the two of you overdressed?”

  “Well, I am.” Cam’s hands undid his jeans and pushed them off his hips. His cock sprang from the confines of his briefs. He stroked it as he looked at her. It was an enormous monster, thick and long, with a plum-shaped head. “Come here and help me, baby.”

  That she could do. She moved into his space and offered up her lips. Cam’s skin was warm, and he wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her, dragging her hand to where he wanted it to go. She caressed the silky skin covering his erection, pumping it in her hand. His tongue plunged lazily into her mouth as he plastered his body against hers.

  “Come on, baby. Get me ready to fuck you,” he said as he bit softly at her lower lip. “Run that tongue all over my cock.”

  She sank to her knees in front of him, well aware that Rafe was watching. He hadn’t taken off his pants yet, but it wouldn’t be long. Once she’d finished with Cam, it would be his turn, and he would be all over her. She looked up at Cam as she licked the bulbous head of his cock.

  “Don’t play with him,” Rafe said, frowning down at her. “Lick his cock all over and then take him deep.”

  She wasn’t sure when Rafe had taken over, but she was willing to play along if it got her what she wanted. She stroked his cock with her tongue, balancing herself on Cam’s rock-hard thighs. Cam groaned as she pulled his cockhead into her mouth.

  “That’s it, bella.” Rafe was suddenly on his knees beside her. His hands caressed her back, tracing the line of her spine all the way down to the cheeks of her ass. “Suck his cock. Get him hard and ready to fuck you.”

  Rafe’s voice had taken on a rough, rich tone. His fingers played lightly along the crack of her ass. “We’re going to fuck you here, bella. You know that, right?”

  Cam’s hands sank into her hair. “Oh, we’re going to fuck that ass. I can’t wait to sink in balls deep. It’s going to be hot and tight. I can’t wait to have your asshole milk my cock.”

  She wasn’t sure about that, but she wanted to try. She wanted to be between them. She wanted them to fill her up. She struggled to take Cam’s girth in her mouth. Inch by inch she opened her jaw to try to take all of him. She swirled her tongue around his cock despite the tight fit. Cam seemed to lose some of his sweetness as the dominant male came out. His hands tightened on her hair, and he fucked her mouth ruthlessly. In and out his cock worked toward the back of her throat.

  “Relax and breathe, bella,” Rafe encouraged her. “He’s almost there.”

  “Fuck, yeah, I’m almost there.” Cam grunted as she took another inch of that dick inside.

  He was. She could feel his cock pulsing in her mouth. He would come, flooding her mouth with salty fluid, and then Rafe would take care of her.

  “Don’t you forget the plan,” Rafe said, his harsh tone splitting the air.

  “Damn it,” Cam cursed, and suddenly her jaw relaxed as Cam pulled out.

  “What?” Laura asked, utterly confused.

  “My turn.” Rafe shoved his slacks down and took Cam’s place. Rafe brought her head up and lined his cock to her lips. “You’re not in charge tonight, bella. You’re in charge most of the time, but not now. Take care of my cock while Cam gets you ready.”

  She was about to ask what she was getting ready for when she felt Cam’s hands separate the cheeks of her ass. Ah, that. Rafe’s cock insisted on entrance. She tasted the salt of his arousal on her lips and sucked him inside.

  Cool oil dribbled between the cheeks of her ass. A twitchy, restless feeling came over her. Anxiety mixed with desire, making her edgy.

  “Suck me harder.” Rafe pressed forward, his cock huge in her mouth.

  She laved the underside of his dick as Cam pressed his fingers against the rim of her asshole. She couldn’t help the whimper that came out of her throat. She felt helpless, but this time it was a delicious sensation. She could revel in it because these men wouldn’t hurt her. There was something freeing in giving over to them, like she was taking back a piece of herself—the piece that trusted and loved and accepted everything.

  “Oh, baby, you should see your little asshole. It’s fighting
me, but it’s going to give in. Just like you. It’s going to accept everything I give it.” Cam rimmed her and finally pushed in, the sensation a jittery pleasure. “You’re going to take my cock up this ass. It’s going to be beautiful.”

  Laura whimpered again. She wasn’t sure about beautiful, but it was damn sure intimate. They were working together, and it was overwhelming her. She shuddered as Cam pressed another finger in. Her eyes watered a bit. She concentrated on the cock in her mouth.

  “That’s right, bella. Your mouth feels so good. If I don’t watch it, this will be over way too soon.” Rafe pulled his cock out of her mouth. It was slick and straining upward, unsatisfied for the time being.

  She knew all about being unsatisfied. Her pussy was aching. She needed them.

  “How many fingers did you get in?” Rafe asked, stroking her hair.

  Laura groaned as her ass stretched again.

  “Three now. That’s enough,” Cam replied, his voice shaking a bit. He fucked his fingers in and out of her hole, making her shake. “She can handle a cock.”

  “I want to see.” Rafe walked behind her, his hand gently pressing her forward until her cheek was on the floor and her ass was high in the air. It gave Cam traction to sink in deeper. She felt invaded, overwhelmed. God, how was she ever going to take his cock?

  “Isn’t it pretty?” Cam used his free hand to pull a cheek aside. She could imagine that he was showing off her asshole to his partner.

  “She’s lovely. You’re right. I want to fuck her ass, too.” Rafe’s voice had gone to that guttural place that told her a fucking wasn’t far behind. God, she needed it. She needed them so badly.

  She shivered as Cam pulled his fingers out. She could feel her ass clenching as though it hadn’t wanted to give up Cam’s flesh.

  Rafe knelt behind her, pulling her up on her knees. His hands seemed voracious and greedy as he cupped her breasts. “He’s going to clean up, but then we’re going to play for a little while longer.”

  That sounded a bit uncomfortable. She was ready to go. She couldn’t imagine being more ready. Her skin was super sensitive, and there was an emptiness inside her that needed to be filled. It was time to take charge. “Come on. Let’s go to the bedroom. I want you both.”