Loving Leisl (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Green Beret Book 2)

by Michele E. Gwynn

  She thought about Jason. Against her better judgement, she’d begun to like him. He was kind, funny, strong, and as far as she was concerned, he was her real first kiss. The first kiss she’d wanted, and the first kiss that made her feel like a woman is supposed to feel when a man kisses her. Desired. Hot and bothered. Not fearful. Not repulsed. He’d said he cared. Then he’d kissed her. Really kissed her. Would a man just passing time say that?

  She didn’t know. Didn’t have enough experience with men to know whether or not he was just a practiced flirt or if he was serious, but he wasn’t here. If someone cared, they’d be here, wouldn’t they?

  The clock ticked breaking the stifling silence every second, reminding her she was on her own, waiting to be cut open. Waiting to learn her fate. She thought about Pooch and prayed he was okay. In her heart, she hoped he knew she didn’t leave him because she wanted to, but because she had no choice. She hoped Angie was taking care of him. And she hoped against hope that somehow, Jason would come.

  Three hours later, Betty came into the room. “Sergeant Craig?” she gently shook Leisl’s shoulder.

  Leisl opened her eyes, having drifted off into a light nap. “Yes?”

  The nurse checked Leisl’s vitals. “Just wanted to let you know you’re scheduled for surgery at 21:30. Doctor Bannerman ordered some blood tests so someone from the lab should be up shortly for that. We’ve already got your chest x-ray. Everything else looks good,” she said, writing down the readings.

  “Is it okay if I get up to use the bathroom?”

  “Of course. Let me help you.” Betty put the side rail down and helped Leisl out of bed. “I know you can probably do this on your own, but considering your seizure earlier, I’m going to walk with you, just to be safe.”

  Leisl nodded. “Yep. I’m familiar with the fall protocol.”

  “That’s right. You’re an R.N. too. How long have you been licensed?” she asked, making conversation.

  “Almost seven years now.” They arrived at the bathroom. “And you?”

  “Twenty years, last March. I’m retiring in September.” She helped Leisl inside. “Just pull the cord on the wall when you’re ready to come back to bed, dear.”

  “I will, and Betty?”

  “Yes, dear?”

  “Congratulations on your retirement. And thank you for being so kind to me.”

  The old nurse smiled. “My pleasure, dear.”

  Leisl closed the door and used the facility. It felt good to be upright and she wondered when she’d be able to sit upright again after surgery. Weird, the things one takes for granted, like the ability to go to the bathroom by oneself and sit on a toilet.

  She got up and washed her hands and then eyed the cord on the wall. Despite protocol, she ignored common sense and walked back to bed on her own. It felt good and she didn’t care if Betty fussed at her. She should fuss at her, but Leisl wanted to do this one simple thing. It would be awhile before she could again, and Betty could help her all she wanted—after surgery.

  The lab tech arrived and drew several vials of blood. Leisl hated needles, which was strange since she was a nurse, but getting poked by one gave her the heebie-jeebies. Just the smell of the alcohol and the pinch of the tourniquet made her queasy, made her palms sweat. This feeling was going to grow exponentially in less than two hours. She needed a hand to hold.

  Panicked, she looked for her cellphone on the bedside table. It was there, in a bag with her uniform and boots. She turned it on. Only two bars left, and she didn’t have her charger. She scrolled to messages and found none. Who would call or text? Swallowing a lump, she wiped her eyes and pulled up contacts. There was Jason’s name. He never did answer the one and only text she’d sent him, at least, not with a return text. No, he’d come in person, and that meeting ended in a kiss followed later by an insurgent attack. You couldn’t write this stuff, it was so weird.

  But a voice nagged her. Go ahead, text him and tell him what’s happening. So she did.

  Not sure if you want to know… Leisl hit the back button and began again. I’m scheduled for surgery in two hours. They’re going to remove this tumor. Hopefully, everything will be okay. Just wanted to let you know. She sighed. “In case you cared,” she mumbled. She hit SEND, and waited.

  Chapter 14

  “It’s time, dear,” said Betty. She’d come into the room followed by a surgical nurse who immediately asked her name, date of birth, and checked her wristband against the chart in his hand. Standard procedure.

  Leisl’s anxiety ramped up. Outwardly, she remained calm, but inside, she was falling apart. She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  The tech unhooked her bed from the wall and began to push her out into the hallway. The sun set hours before and the ward was quiet. All other post-surgical patients were asleep for the night. The journey down the hall to the elevator felt like a death march. Each passing fluorescent light put her one step closer to the operating room, a place she was entirely familiar with, but not from the point of view of a patient. She had no control this time, and it terrified her. Her chauffeuring surgical nurse turned her around and pushed the button, waiting.

  When the floor bell dinged, Leisl gripped the sheet. Inside the elevator, she felt claustrophobic. Thankfully, the ride down was short, but somehow, she didn’t feel any better when they arrived in pre-op. It was cold in this room, as in all sterile surgical units. The fear eating away inside her made her colder. The warm blanket they gave her didn’t help much.

  The anesthesiologist arrived introducing himself. Doctor Marin assessed her neck to make sure she could bend it easily for intubation and then asked her a series of questions. He was polite and reassuring, yet she wasn’t reassured. Another surgical nurse announced they would need to cut her hair and shave the left side and that she would be back shortly to take care of that. In the meantime, the anesthesiologist ordered a mild sedative after noting the panic in Leisl’s eyes.

  “It will take the edge off. When she’s finished, I’ll return, and we’ll get you good and sedated for surgery.” He touched her foot. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Leisl nodded absently, tears stinging her green eyes. The nurse came back with an electric shaver and a razor with shaving cream. Reality sank in. Leisl felt the urge to jump out of the bed and run like hell.

  “Leisl! Where’s Sergeant Craig?”

  She heard her name. Looking around, she saw the curtain by her bed get swept aside with a loud whoosh.

  “Jason?” Her voice wobbled.

  “Oh thank God, I didn’t know if I’d make it in time,” he said, rushing to her.

  Doc gathered Leisl into his arms, holding her close. The panic she’d been fighting fled as soon as her nose hit his chest. His scent of soap and man sank in, calming her more than any drug.

  “You came,” she said, tears drowning her words.

  Doc kissed the top of her head. “Of course I did.” He looked down, and seeing her eyes overflowing said, “Oh, babe, don’t cry. I’m here. I’m here, love.”

  She cried harder. “I didn’t think you would.”

  He twisted around, sitting on the bed at her side and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “How could you think that? Didn’t I tell you?”

  “Tell me what,” she sniffed.

  He held her chin, tilting her head so he could see her face. “That I care. I meant that, Leisl. I do care. It’s crazy, I know, but I do. You’re not going through this alone. I’ve got all the time I need and I’m going to be here to help you through it.”

  Leisl felt her heart crack open. This man, this sweet, funny, kind man just told her he cared, and he’d traveled halfway around the world to prove it. It was more than anyone had ever done for her. Still, she couldn’t believe it, so she reached up to touch his face. There was stubble on his chin. It was rough to her sensitive fingertips, but it was real. He was real. He was here and holding her.

  Doc smiled. “I take it you’re glad I’m here then?”

 
She grinned. “Yes. Thank you, Jason.”

  “That’s it? Just ‘thank you, Jason?” No kiss?” Dimples peeked out.

  Leisl bit her lip. “So, you came all this way for a kiss?”

  “No,” he said, serious.

  She paused, confused. “Then…what?”

  “I came all this way for your kiss. No other kiss will do, ma’am. What do you say? Did I earn it?”

  Smiling, Leisl reached up, sliding her hand around his neck and kissed him. It was soft, sweet, and full of feeling.

  Doc let her kiss him, and then turned the tables, deepening the contact. The sound of a throat clearing loudly interrupted them.

  “Sir, we need to get Sgt. Craig prepped now.”

  They turned to see the nurse standing at the foot of the bed holding an electric shaver.

  Leisl’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but that quickly faded replaced by the horror of the unflattering haircut she was about to receive.

  “You should go, Jason,” she said, looking up into his brown eyes.

  Doc regarded her. “Is that what you want?”

  She glanced down. “I don’t want you to see…”

  He slid his hand into her thick, red hair, caressing her scalp. “Your hair is beautiful, Leisl,” he said, winding a strand around his finger, “but it’s hair. It grows back. And the only reason it’s so beautiful is because you are so beautiful. I meant it when I said I’m going to be here with you through it all. I’ll go if you want me to, but only if that’s what you really want. Even then, I’m not going any further than the other side of that curtain,” he said, pointing. “There’s no way I’m letting you go through this alone.”

  Leisl swallowed. Accepting his words, his sincerity was new for her. She’d been alone so long that allowing someone into her life was harder than she ever thought it would be. She wanted him there. That much was true. Her heart was screaming at her to say yes, but her head kept asking, “What if he leaves like everyone else?” She was afraid he’d go, and even more afraid he’d stay. It was time to be braver than she’d ever been in her whole life.

  “Jason…please stay.”

  He hugged her close. “I’m not going anywhere, babe.” Doc inhaled her soft, sweet scent sending up a silent prayer. He knew how hard this was for her. He saw the struggle going on in real-time in her gorgeous green eyes. He’d gambled and won on a bluff because in his heart, he knew he would’ve insisted on being by her side no matter what she said. The feeling was that strong, and it surprised him. When had this happened? The first time he laid eyes on her or when he caught her talking to the dog? Maybe it was when she showed no fear in the heat of battle. He wasn’t sure, but one thing he knew, the guys were right. He’d been caught. Damn.

  “You ready for a half-assed military haircut?” he joked.

  “I suppose so, as long as it doesn’t scare you away.”

  Doc slid off the bed, standing at her side. “Are you kidding? It’s going to be badass, very punk. Might have to get you a tattoo to go with your half-Mohawk.”

  The nurse rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I promise to be gentle, and also, it’s going to grow back, so just stay focused on that.”

  Leisl took a couple of deep breaths, psyching herself up. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  “You got this, babe.” Doc reached out, taking her hand in his.

  The nurse flipped the switch and the razor hummed. What took years to grow came off in seconds. Before long, the left side of her scalp was clean-shaved and the long strands of Leisl’s hair were swept up and dumped into a waste bin. The nurse put a blue surgical hat over what remained of her red hair. “There,” she said. “To keep your head warm.”

  A sniffle escaped Leisl but she stifled it. Doc lifted her fingers to his lips, kissing them. He smiled, brown eyes regarding her.

  “What” she said.

  “Nothing,” he shrugged, smiling wider. “You’re just so damned beautiful.”

  “Oh,” said Leisl. Happiness bubbled up inside her. It was such an odd feeling, one she wasn’t used to, but it was nice. “Thank you.”

  The anesthesiologist arrived, shaking hands with Doc and holding up a syringe of white fluid to Leisl. “Ready, Sergeant?”

  She glanced at Jason who nodded reassuringly. “Yes,” she said.

  “Okay,” said Dr. Marin. He began pushing the liquid into her IV.

  Leisl felt the cold invade her body and the ‘bugs’ racing over her scalp, a common experience with surgical sedatives, and then she grew loopy. The last thing she recalled was Jason leaning down to kiss her cheek. He whispered something in her ear, something that sounded a lot like, ‘I’ll be here when you wake up. You probably won’t remember this, sweetheart, but I think I’m falling in love with you.’ Then she remembered nothing else.

  Doc left pre-op after stopping at the desk to give the post-op nurse his cell number. “Call me as soon as she comes out of surgery,” he said, and then added, “or before that if anything happens.” His anxious expression caused the nurse to smile.

  “Are you family?” she asked.

  Doc hesitated. “Not yet, but I’m going to marry that girl.” The words surprised him even as they rushed from his lips. Damn, he thought, I’ll never hear the end of this from Nate.

  “Her fiancé? Lucky girl. Okay, then,” she said. “We’ll notify you when she arrives here in post-op. Don’t worry. She’s in good hands,” she added.

  Doc backed away from the desk and left the holding area. “Don’t worry, she says,” grumbling to himself. “That’s not going to happen.” He ran a hand over his face.

  He’d been going non-stop since the night before and exhaustion was hitting him hard. Leisl would be in surgery for the next four to six hours. Plenty of time to doze off, but before that, he needed to find Eastwood’s room and check on his friend. A helpful desk clerk pointed him to the Med-Surg ward and room 316. When he arrived, Eastwood was asleep, but his keen senses, even after surgery and under sedation still alerted him someone was in the room.

  “Doc, is that you?” He turned bleary eyes toward the doorway.

  “How’d you know?” Doc asked, surprised.

  Eastwood chuckled, lifting his hand in a dismissive gesture. “I can smell you anywhere. Mischief, bullshit, and Irish Spring soap.”

  “Well, they don’t make a Scottish Spring soap so I take what I can get. As for the bullshit, you might want to borrow my soap because that’s all you, my friend.” Doc reached the bedside and looked down at Eastwood.

  His left leg, what was left of it, ended just below the knee and was suspended in a sling. The white bandages around the stump were spotted here and there dark red. An IV slow-dripped saline and medicine into his veins, and a heart monitor kept steady pace beeping along.

  “How’re you feeling, Harry?” Doc asked.

  Eastwood regarded Doc from behind guarded green eyes. “I’m feeling done, Doc.”

  The surrender in Harry’s voice hit him like a punch to the gut. In all the years he’d worked side-by-side with Eastwood, he’d never once accepted defeat. He was stubborn like that. Never say die. That was Harold Tyler. This broke dick wasn’t him. This was a wounded animal who didn’t yet realize he still had life, still had a lot to offer. Exactly how, Doc couldn’t say, but there was no way that Eastwood was finished. Not in his eyes. Maybe the army’s, but never his. There would be life after loss, somehow.

  “You ain’t done, son, you’re just sidelined for now.”

  A spark of anger lit Eastwood’s eyes. “Sidelined? What the fuck, Doc? You think I can come back from this? What am I supposed to do? Hop on one leg and chase down terrorists while throwing rocks? Goddammit, Jason, I’m finished!”

  “Calm the fuck down, Harry!” Doc said. “I didn’t say you’d be back doing what you’ve always done, only that there’s more to you than that. You have a lot of experience and that makes you valuable. It won’t be the same, I know, but you’re going to recover from this shit because you’
re no wus! You don’t give up, and we ain’t giving up on you. Not a single one of us. We’re still you’re family, you miserable sonofabitch, and we love you.”

  Doc’s last words stopped Eastwood cold.

  “What the hell am I supposed to say to that?” The fury in his voice died.

  Doc turned his head and swiped at his eyes. “Just fucking accept it, and don’t ask me to say it again. And don’t you dare give up.”

  “Shit, man, are you crying?”

  “No!” Doc sucked in a breath. “I’m just tired as hell. Been up all night and all day. Flew in from base camp non-stop. Leisl’s having her brain tumor removed as we speak, they’re cutting into her head. She’s terrified, and apparently I’m falling in love with her.”

  Eastwood’s jaw dropped. “Brain tumor?”

  “Yeah,” said Doc. “She has a brain tumor. How’s that for luck? I finally meet the one and then…this shit.”

  “Dude, I’m sorry, man.” Eastwood grabbed Doc’s arm and pulled him down into a bear hug. “I had no idea. She’s going to be okay, though, isn’t she?”

  Doc hugged him back. “Not sure yet, but I think so. One way or the other. Won’t know until they get the damned thing out and run it through pathology.”

  Eastwood patted his friend’s back. When Doc didn’t move, he said, “You know, you can get off me now.”

  Doc jumped up. “Fuck you.”

  “Fuck you, too,” said Eastwood, laughing.