Loving Leisl (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Green Beret Book 2)

by Michele E. Gwynn

  “Leisl Craig,” she said, speaking to her reflection, “don’t you dare be a coward. This is your chance. He’s a good man. Don’t let that garbage rapist take any more from you.” She turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face. Determined, she unlocked the door and rejoined Jason. When she entered the kitchen, her jaw dropped.

  Chapter 18

  Doc leaned against the kitchen counter, feet crossed, sipping water. He’d kicked off his boots and socks and had removed his shirt. Leisl stared at his bare chest. She’d imagined it many times, but in the relative safety of the hospital, had yet to see him shirtless. Her hands had roamed his warm skin, kneading the muscles beneath, but her eyes had not had the pleasure. He was a visual feast.

  He watched her watching him and smiled that slow smile, the one that introduced his dimples a degree at a time. Her knees went weak.

  Picking up the open bottle of water on the counter, he unwound his feet and walked towards her. It was deliberate, the stalking of a jungle cat eyeing a tasty mouse. He held the bottle out. “Your water, ma’am.” He stepped into her personal space, heat emanating from his sculpted physique.

  Leisl put up a hand, pressing the center of his chest. “We need to talk.”

  One eyebrow shot up as Doc froze. In his experience, nothing good ever followed those words. Confused, he said, “Okay, what about?”

  She took the bottle and then took his hand leading him over to the loveseat. She sat down and indicated he should sit beside her.

  Doc sat facing her and waited. She looked both serious and scared. He had no idea what to expect, but the words that came out of her mouth knocked the wind out of him.

  “I was raped.” She dropped the bomb and then held her breath, waiting for the explosion.

  “What?” Doc’s eyes popped wide with shock which was quickly replaced with fury. “When? Where? Why am I just now hearing about this? Leisl, who did it? I’ll kill the motherfucker!” he grabbed her hands, holding them tight, and when that didn’t satisfy him, he pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. “Oh my God, baby, are you okay? We need to report this.”

  Leisl closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. It calmed her despite her fluttering heart. These were the words she’d needed then, and even though it had been years, hearing them now meant the world. It meant someone cared. She slipped a hand between them and pressed, giving herself enough room to look up into his face. It was a wonder to behold. Jason’s dark eyes were filled with equal parts concern and rage, but it was the tear that slipped a corner that melted her heart.

  She licked her lips. “It happened a long time ago. Back when I was still in high school.”

  Leisl expected to see his anger fade, but it didn’t.

  “Who did that to you?” he asked.

  She cleared her throat, and slowly began telling her tale. It was the second time she’d ever told anyone, the first being Tim’s mom, her foster mother, and she’d been called a whore for it. The telling came out in pieces. The taunting and harassment by Tim Masterson. His parents alcoholism. The speed and violence of the act. Her shock. Seeking help from Mrs. Masterson. Being blamed, being called a whore. And then being threatened and kicked out of their home.

  “That’s how I ended up with Rose and Oscar. They never knew. They just took me in and let me finish high school. For a few months, it was the best home I ever had.”

  Doc sat quietly letting her speak. He didn’t know what to say. Emotions overwhelmed him. As a man, he knew he would never hurt a woman. That some men did pissed him off. He thought them cowards, evil bastards, but certainly not real men. As a soldier, he knew how to hurt evil bastards and as he clenched his fists listening to her stumble through her painful revelation, he imagined every form of torture he could think of on this Tim character. He glanced at Leisl and upon seeing her regarding him quietly, realized she’d stopped talking. Lost in his own torture fantasy, he missed that, but now, all he could see was her pain.

  She leaned back, pulling away from him. Immediately, he drew her back in, holding her close. “Don’t. Don’t pull away from me. Please,” he said.

  “How could you possibly want me? I’ve never even tried again…” her voice grew smaller.

  Doc squeezed his eyes shut. Not only had that pathetic raping bastard taken away her first time, but his violation robbed her of knowing her own sexuality, of being able to enjoy the physical side of being a woman. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back as she lay against his chest. He felt like shit. Here he’d been planning a seduction and all the while he’d been terrifying her. For him, the past week of kissing and cuddling, petting and panting had been a return to teenage years. It was fun, but for him, it was the longest extended foreplay of his adult life that he’d intended to consummate this very night. For Leisl, it had all been a first, and he hadn’t even realized it. He wanted a do-over. Wanted to make it right. Make it perfect.

  “The question isn’t how could I want you, baby, it’s how could I not?” He sighed, looking down into her wide, green eyes. “My God, you’re so beautiful, and brave, and smart, and kind. I love being with you. I don’t care what we’re doing, it just doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you, the world is right. You see me, see right through me and you aren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit. But you let me in, didn’t you…” he said, thinking. “You said you haven’t even tried since then so does that mean you haven’t dated at all?”

  Leisl shook her head. “No. No one.”

  Wonder radiated from his eyes. “Until me?”

  She smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “Yes. I suppose so.”

  Her smile was infectious. He grinned, dimples peeking out. “Well how about that?” he said, looking over her head. His hands absently rubbed soothing circles over her back. He glanced down, holding her gaze. “Leisl Craig, you’re a virgin.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “No, I’m not. I just told you—”

  He touched her face, caressing her cheek. “That someone hurt you. But you didn’t give yourself to him. What happened wasn’t making love. It wasn’t even sex. That was pure violence and it’s not the same thing so I beg to differ, Miss Craig. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a virgin, and until you decide to give yourself to someone because you care about that person, you’ll remain a virgin.”

  She thought about what he said. None of that had occurred to her. The idea that she was, indeed, in control of her own body and that what the Masterson boy had done to her did not define who she was appealed…a lot. “So, you’re saying I decide, that I get to make the choice.”

  Doc wound a lock of her hair around his finger. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  Leisl leaned into his fingers enjoying the tingling sensation in her scalp. She’d enjoyed many sensations at Jason’s hands recently, and her curiosity prodded her to live up to the title of brave woman he’d called her so many times already. Sliding her hands up his chest, she took a deep breath and said, “Then I choose you, Jason.” They locked eyes and the air in the room grew thick. “I want you to be my first.”

  Doc’s body tightened and he had to swallow twice before he could speak. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” she said, her gaze dropping to his mouth, “I’m sure.”

  He groaned, pulling her close and kissing her lips. It was soft, hesitant, careful. He cupped her face, staring hard into her eyes. “Anytime you want me to stop, you just say stop and I will. You’re in control, Leisl. I would never in a million years hurt you.”

  She smiled, tears stinging her eyes. “I know. Now, would you please kiss me?”

  Seeing her acceptance of him, her courage, and her desire drove him crazy, but he tamped it all down. Tonight was about Leisl. He’d never been with a virgin, and that made him nervous, but he was a determined man and without a doubt, he knew he would do anything she wanted, anything she was comfortable with to make this experience beautiful. He scooped her up in his arms and got off the couch.

  “J
ason,” she said, laughing.

  “I’m carrying you over the threshold,” he said.

  “What threshold? That’s for brides, silly.” She slapped a hand over her eyes, giggling.

  “The bedroom door threshold, and tonight, I say it’s for an extremely beautiful, sexy woman. No use arguing.”

  Inside the bedroom, he laid her down, allowing her to scoot up to the pillows. He followed on hands and knees, watching her the whole time.

  “I believe you ordered me to kiss you, milady?”

  Her mouth went dry. Jason’s muscular arms and shoulders bulged as he held himself above her. Further down, his defined abs showed a six-pack plus two, and beyond that, below the belt of his fatigues, was the evidence of his desire for her. Still, he waited for her orders. That he held himself in such control for her showed how much he cared. And knowing he would do whatever she asked sent a ripple of heat throughout her body. While she was giving herself to him, he was also giving himself to her.

  “Yes,” she sighed. “Please kiss me.”

  That’s all he needed to hear. It began as a slow exploration of lips, but then grew to a tasting of tongues. When he settled himself to her side, her body showed its frustration by rolling closer and wrapping a leg around his waist.

  “Tell me what you want, Leisl,” he whispered.

  She rubbed against him, not knowing how to ask. Finally, “I want you to make love to me.”

  Her simple words were his undoing. “It’ll be my pleasure, baby, and dear God, I sure hope it’s yours. Just tell me what you like and don’t like, okay?”

  “Okay.” Leisl felt his hands lift her shirt tugging it over her head. He sat up on his knees and unbuttoned her jeans, pulling them down over her hips. Each shoe was pulled off carefully and tossed to the floor. Her clothing joined them. She lay there in her bra and panties as his eyes swept her from head to toe.

  “You’re perfect,” he said. His fingers drew a line up over her stomach to the edge of her bra. It had a front clasp that snapped open in his hand. Gently, he peeled it away revealing her breasts to his eager eyes.

  Her nipples hardened under his gaze making her feel hot and needy. “Jason, please,” she moaned.

  Sliding his hands beneath her shoulders, he stretched out settling himself between her legs. Their bare chests touched, skin to skin, and he bit back a groan.

  Leisl’s eyes closed and her lips fell open, and invitation he couldn’t refuse. He kissed her, sweeping the inside of her mouth, tasting her sweetness, nibbling her tongue before teasing his lips across her cheek to her ear and then down her neck where he bit the sensitive skin of her shoulder. She sucked in a breath, sinking her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer.

  “Yes,” she sighed.

  Encouraged, Doc blazed a line of hot, wet kisses over her chest and hovered over a hard nipple before covering it with his lips, sucking hard, and then licking the tip until she moaned. By the grinding of her hips against his, he knew she liked that and moved to the other breast, giving it equal attention.

  He was so hard, he wondered if he’d survive loving Leisl in this slow, seductive manner, but he was a soldier and could withstand anything, he told himself. Hands replaced his lips on her breasts and he kissed her stomach, gently massaging and tweaking her nipples.

  She shuddered when his hands moved to her panties and began to tug them down. Like magic, they were gone and Jason gripped her knees, gently pulling them apart.

  Leisl peeked up at him through long lashes. He was staring at her core, enraptured. When his hands slid up the inside of her thighs, she sucked in a breath, but she wasn’t prepared when he dipped his head and licked her.

  “Oh my God!”

  He stopped. “Did I hurt you? Do you want me to stop?”

  “What? No!” she cried, frustrated.

  Relief washed over him, and Doc grinned, returning to task. He licked and nibbled her nub, long strokes first and then smaller ones circling and flicking. The panting sounds she made turned him on and he forced himself to hold on, to make her cum first. Leisl’s hips rose up to meet the thrust of his tongue and increased the tempo, focusing on her nub, knowing she was getting close.

  She gripped the sheets, overwhelmed with feelings she’d never experienced before. What he was doing to her was shocking and naughty and amazing all at the same time. Something was building inside her, tightening with each flick of his hot tongue. When he reached a hand up to her breast once again, pinching her nipple, she exploded.

  “Jason, oh my God! Oh my God!”

  He wanted to tell her to just let go, but he’d have to stop to do that so instead, he reached out and found her hand, gripping it.

  Leisl came in spectacular fashion. Her moans were beautiful music to his ears. He’d done that. He’d given her this moment. But there was more.

  As she lay panting, he kicked off his pants, and before she could recover, had rolled on a condom. He leaned down, nuzzling her neck.

  “You okay?”

  She grinned. “Yes. Better than okay. What was that?”

  He chuckled, kissing her ear. “That was nothing compared to what’s coming.”

  Her eyes popped wide. “More?”

  “Oh, yes, baby, there’s more. If you still want it. Now’s the time to say no if you don’t.” He held his breath and prayed.

  Leisl ran her hands over his back to his hips. Shyly, she reached down and wrapped her fingers around his hard cock.

  Doc groaned.

  “Did I hurt you,” she asked. “I’m so sorry.”

  He half-laughed, half-groaned again. “No, baby, you didn’t hurt me. I’m just very sensitive right now because I want you so much.”

  She thought about that. He was in agony of sorts and still he would stop if she told him to do so. He must feel how she felt when he was teasing her body in such a sexy way. Jason was her hero, her knight in shining armor, and she knew that as much he wanted her right then, she wanted him more.

  “What do I do?” she asked,

  “What do you want to do, beautiful?” The strain was showing on his face.

  “I want you inside me.” She held his gaze, passion flaring between them like the Fourth of July.

  Doc sent up a silent ‘Thank you, Jesus,” and kissed her. “You don’t have to do anything. I’ve got this.”

  He slid the tip into her opening and, taking a deep breath, said, “Hold on, baby.” Inch by inch he pushed in. The way was tight, but so very wet and so very hot, squeezing him like a glove.

  “Oh, dear Lord, you feel so good,” he whispered.

  Leisl bit her lip as he stretched her walls. She expected pain, but it didn’t hurt. At first, it felt strange, but once he was all the way inside, her body wanted more. She wiggled and he groaned.

  Obliging her, Doc pulled back and slid in once again, then repeated the movement. She followed, getting into rhythm with his strokes.

  With each thrust, she became more lost in the sensations. It was incredible. His arms held her shoulders and his lips found hers, kissing her deeply. He matched the thrust of his tongue to his hips, and Leisl responded, hot, tight, and slick. He was in heaven.

  The air grew heated from their bodies and the scent of sex filled the small bedroom. Doc’s back arched as his thrusts became stronger, harder. He lifted Leisl’s leg over his hip spreading her legs wider. She gripped his back, sinking her fingernails into his skin. The sting of her nail stabs spurred him on and when one soft hand grabbed his ass, he slammed into her taking them both over the edge.

  Muscles bulged and strained as he came hard. Beneath him, Leisl’s body twitched and spasmed around him, milking every last drop he had. He looked down at her face. She was glowing, eyes closed, lips parted, in full-out ecstasy. He’d never seen anything or anyone more beautiful that her.

  Spent, he collapsed on top of her, burying his face in the pillow beside her head. It was a long time before he could speak.

  “Are you okay, Leisl?”

&nbs
p; Her hands caressed his back where they’d been piercing his skin only moments before. “Hmmn?”

  She sounded like a contented cat and that made Doc smile.

  “I take it that’s a yes?” He knew he should move, but he didn’t have the strength. He was still inside her, a place he was sure he always wanted to be.

  “I’m good. I promise,” she grinned.

  He heard that grin and turned his head, rubbing his nose in her neck. “I’m glad.”

  “Jason?”

  “Yeah, babe,” he said.

  “Can we do that again?”

  He chuckled, surprised. “Just give me…twenty or so minutes, you greedy woman.”

  Leisl laughed. “That was the best first time ever,” she said, turning her face to his. Their eyes locked. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Doc was in awe. She’d just given him the most amazing gift a woman could give and she was thanking him? He didn’t deserve her, but he’d be damned if he’d let her go. Touching her cheek, he eased up, looking down at her sweet face and kissing her lips softly. “No, sweetheart, thank you. Thank you for choosing me.”

  “So now what?” she asked.

  He chuckled. “Now we wait twenty minutes and do it again.”

  “No, I mean, tomorrow?”

  “Oh,” he said, leaning on his elbow. “Well, tomorrow, if it’s cool with you, I make arrangements to fly us back home to Colorado, to Colver.”