by Sherry Lewis
“Tell me about him,” he urged.
“About Steven? He was a pharmaceutical rep. Bright. Ambitious. Handsome. Exciting, too, I guess. He swept me off my feet.”
He tried to ignore the stab of jealousy. “How long were you married?”
“Three years.”
She was so unresponsive. He shouldn’t push—she obviously didn’t want to talk about it—but now that he’d started, he had to know the rest. “What happened?”
Her eyes flew to his face, and the pain he saw there startled him.
“It just didn’t work out.”
He squeezed her hand, knowing how little comfort he could offer. “I’m sorry. You didn’t have any children?”
Abby hesitated and watched Erin and Michael round a curve in the path. “No.”
Her answer surprised him. Not the word itself, but the way she snapped it out.
She remained silent for a minute, then looked up at him again. “I can’t have children, and Steven wanted them—at least a son to carry on the family name. So he left and found someone who could give him what he wanted.” Her voice sounded brittle.
Obviously her inability to have children had upset her husband’s plans. A reaction like that, divorcing a woman simply because she couldn’t give him a child, was inconceivable to Kurt. But saying so would only make her feel worse.
“And then what? After the divorce?”
“I kept working. I was a crime photographer. Homicide, then domestic violence. But I can’t do it anymore. I’m too burned out. I guess I’ve lost my faith in human nature. I just can’t witness any more violence.”
“So what will you do…?” He couldn’t finish the question. He couldn’t make himself say, when this is over.
“My friend Ted called last week and told me the governor has initiated a new securities-fraud task force. He’s looking for a photographer to work the stakeouts with the members of the force. Ted put in my application for a spot on it and I think my chances are pretty good. I guess the governor will decide within the next few days, and then, as long as he can wait until I’ve cleared up everything here, I’ll go back to Baltimore and start work. I think white-collar crime is something I could work on without too much trouble.”
Kurt’s stomach clenched as if Abby had punched him. From three thousand miles away Ted held the carrot that would lure Abby back to his world and leave Kurt spinning out of orbit.
“Ted.” He heard the way he said the name and tried to soften it with a smile. “So this Ted—is he someone special?” He’d wanted to sound casual, but the look on her face told him he’d failed.
“Very special. But not in the way you think. After Steven left, Ted saw me through the rough times. I spent Saturday afternoons with him and his wife and kids. I went to church with them a couple of times. Thanksgiving, Christmas.”
“Sounds like the same kind of thing Jack and Theresa did for me. You were lucky to have good friends around.”
Abby sighed. “He’s still looking out for me. That’s why he’s trying so hard to get me this job.”
The job again. Well, what had he expected? Since the day Abby had come into his life, he’d known she would leave. But hearing her actually voice her intention, he realized he’d imagined her staying. Now he had to face reality. She intended to go back to her life in Baltimore.
Trying to keep his face impassive, Kurt looked away. “It sounds interesting.” He hoped his voice didn’t betray his pain.
“Does it? I hope it turns out to be.”
Before he could say anything else, someone cried out from a few feet ahead, dragging his attention back to the kids. At the top of the path, Brody waved his arms excitedly and pointed. “Dad? Dad, look!”
They’d arrived at the waterfall. At least he still had Brody. Things were a little better between them today; getting away from home and the office seemed to be doing his relationship with his son some good. He shouldn’t have let himself get so caught up in Abby’s spell, though. He should have known not to pin his hopes on something as fragile as his fantasy of a future with her. From here on out, he’d concentrate on Brody and forget his silly romantic dreams.
But he couldn’t make himself release Abby’s hand. Instead, he guided her up the path toward the kids. “Can you see it?” he called out to Brody.
Brody nodded and pointed again. As they neared the place where the children stood, the water changed its voice. No longer sliding lightly across the polished stones in the riverbed, it began to churn, then to roar. And by the time they reached Brody’s side, Angel Falls appeared like an apparition out of the mist.
As always, the sight took Kurt’s breath away. White water thundered down the rock face, boiling over the rocks below before running away downstream. It seemed to echo his own unsettled feelings.
He sensed, rather than heard, Abby’s indrawn breath, and he saw the look of wonder in her eyes. Rationally he knew he should distance himself, but he wanted to share this with her. He wanted her to love it as he did. He pulled her close, and when she smiled up at him, he knew she belonged beside him and he couldn’t let her go.
No matter what it took, no matter what sacrifices he had to make, she was his future. And he was hers. Now he just had to find a way to convince her.
Abby knew that as she surrendered her hand to Kurt, the gesture had far more meaning to her than he could possibly imagine. Hearing him talk about the end of his marriage had made her heart ache, and sharing a part of her past with him had opened a piece of herself she’d closed off long ago.
She loved him. And she didn’t want to leave him. But the life he envisioned, a house full of brothers and sisters for Brody, was something she could never give him. And the pain of knowing she had to go made her feel as if she’d been torn in two.
In silence she watched the falls thunder over the side of the mountain and felt the churning water at the base of the river in her soul. In fairy tales, the heroine always ended up with her heart’s desire. In life, it rarely happened.
As much as she wanted this scene to continue forever, common sense told her it couldn’t. Still, she kept her hand in the warmth and security of Kurt’s larger one. She allowed herself this moment to stand beside him and feel his closeness. This would be a memory she could take home with her, something bittersweet she could draw on during the lonely times that lay ahead.
Closing her eyes, she let herself remember his kiss under the fiery sky on the Fourth of July…
“Abby? Dad? Hurry up.” Brody’s shout brought Abby back out of her dream with a jolt. Reluctantly she opened her eyes and drew her hand from Kurt’s.
The children scrambled down the rocky hillside toward the riverbank. The boys nearly fell over each other in their excitement, and even Erin got caught up in it. Halfway down the hill, the girl sprinted ahead of the boys and was the first to reach a clearing some distance from the base of the falls. Turning, she waved her arms, beckoning to Abby and Kurt.
Kurt started down the path, his back to Abby, but she could tell by the tilt of his head he was still very much aware of her.
If she didn’t follow, he’d return for her. And he’d want to know what was bothering her. Pushing aside her doubts and sadness, Abby concentrated on getting herself down the side of the hill.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THAT NIGHT Abby listened to the crackling fire, waiting for a clue that Kurt had gone to sleep. Stuck in this loft high above the cabin floor, she felt confined—claustrophobic. And she couldn’t stop her mind from churning. While half of her wanted Kurt to sweep her into his arms and beg her to stay, the more practical side realized it would never work. Kurt wanted more than Abby could ever give him, and though she might convince herself she could love him enough to make him forget his dreams of more children, realistically she knew it wasn’t possible.
When several minutes passed and she hadn’t heard anything to indicate that anyone else was still awake, she inched out of her sleeping bag and strained to look through the nar
row slats of wood into the room below. Firelight leapt and painted the walls orange and yellow, leaving the corners black where shadows played.
She needed to escape for a few minutes, to gather her thoughts and come to terms with all her conflicting emotions. Tiptoeing toward the ladder, she descended quietly and crept across the room. Pulling open the front door, she slipped into the darkness and waited for her eyes to adjust.
In contrast to the heated cabin, the frigid air outside bit into her. Shivering, she rubbed her arms and walked to the edge of the small porch, scanning the darkened landscape.
In just twenty-four hours she’d actually started to enjoy it here. She breathed in the aroma of pine and relived the delighted shrieks of the kids at the falls earlier.
She reminded herself sternly that she belonged in Baltimore, not in the mountains of Washington. She needed the satisfaction she derived from doing a job well, the fulfillment that came from the professional recognition of her abilities. But when had she started hating the idea of going back? And when had she allowed herself to fall in love with Kurt and dream of staying?
Sitting down on the step, she listened to the peculiar silence of the forest. She didn’t feel frightened tonight, even though the isolation of this spot still bothered her a little. It helped to have Kurt close.
She wasn’t sure how long she sat staring at the tops of the trees, listening to them sway in the slight breeze, before a twig snapped near the corner of the cabin. Stiffening, she turned toward the sound.
Kurt came into view. She pushed herself to her feet. He stopped when he caught sight of her, hesitating only a moment. “What are you doing out here?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Find me a shower,” she said.
He laughed and tossed a towel, gleaming white in the moonlight, over one shoulder. “You could always go down to the creek, but the water’s freezing.”
“I might do it, anyway.”
He narrowed the distance between them, coming close enough for her to smell the faint aroma of his soap. When the cry of a night creature split the silence, a chill ran through her. Shuddering, she hugged her arms around herself and saw Kurt staring at her.
“You’re cold. Are you sure you don’t want to go back inside?”
“I’d rather stay out here for a few minutes.” She wanted to turn away, but his gaze held her.
When she didn’t move, he stepped closer. Even in the dim moonlight, the look in his eyes made her heart ache. “The kids enjoyed themselves today,” he said softly.
“Yes, they did.”
“And did you?” He took another step.
Her heart hammered in her chest and she knew he must be able to sense her confusion. “I—”
He took her hands in his. “I had a wonderful time.”
There was so much she wanted to say, but his touch left her tongue-tied. When she couldn’t answer, he pulled her into his arms, touching his lips to her temple.
Abby lost her power to pull away. Love surged within her and with it the desire to make her future with Kurt. She wanted him to say something, to tell her he needed her and beg her to stay. She wanted him to love her as much as she loved him. But even after the kiss ended, he didn’t speak, and his silence left her suspended in confusion.
Slowly Abby realized that he was holding back. His touch might rob her of reason, but she apparently did not affect him the same way. “I—I really should go in,” she said softly.
Kurt held her hand and tried to keep her from leaving, but she pulled away and turned, forcing her legs to hold her up and her eyes to stop burning with tears of humiliation.
Shaking, she shut the door behind her, leaning her back against it for a second or two until she could trust her knees to carry her across the room.
Kurt watched the door close, unable to say anything to make Abby stay beside him. Despite his feelings, he’d forced himself to release her and step away.
No matter how badly he wanted her to stay, he needed her to stay because she loved him, not because he was putting any kind of pressure on her.
He watched her shadow cross between the flickering fire and the window. No woman had ever felt so right in his arms. No one had ever captured his heart so completely.
Could he let her go back to Baltimore? No. Whether or not she knew it, they were meant for each other.
He stood for a while in the moonlight, giving her plenty of time to climb back to the loft and into bed. She hadn’t said a lot about her marriage, but he knew she’d been hurt badly by her husband. Erin and Michael weren’t the only ones with wounds to heal, and Kurt could be a patient man when he had to be.
Especially when the stakes were high enough.
ABBY RELUCTANTLY abandoned her hold on sleep and gave in to the enticing aroma of frying bacon, Kurt’s deep baritone voice and the happy shouts of the children. Stretching in the clear morning sunlight that streamed through the tiny window, she awoke slowly. She marveled that after just four nights in this loft, she’d almost gotten used to it.
Yesterday Kurt had lugged an old washtub out of a shed on the edge of the property and she’d actually been able to take a warm bath and wash some of their clothing. Heaven.
In the past three days, Kurt hadn’t referred to the embarrassing topic of their kiss, and Abby was almost able to forget it had ever happened. And it nearly worked—except when she closed her eyes, smelled his soap, heard his voice or accidentally brushed against him.
She crawled out of her sleeping bag and pulled on clean jeans and a sweatshirt. Last night Kurt had promised the kids he’d take them back to Angel Falls this morning, and Abby surprised herself by feeling almost eager to go along.
After four days without any sign of Vic, some of her fears were already starting to evaporate. While her apprehension hadn’t completely disappeared, she felt safer than she had in months.
As each day dawned to the sound of birds staking their territory and other woodland creatures chattering in the heavy stillness, her jangled nerves quieted more and more. Kurt had been right. Here in the woods they’d immediately notice the movement of any unexpected visitor. If they’d gone to a large city, Vic could have found them and watched them for days without her knowing it.
To further calm her fears, Kurt made a circuit of the property three times a day looking for signs that someone else had been here. So far, he’d found nothing.
Brushing her hair quickly into a ponytail, she descended to the main room for breakfast. Erin stood at Kurt’s side, as usual, her face intent as he counted bacon strips onto five plates. Becoming aware of Abby’s presence first, Erin grinned broadly. “Are you going to Angel Falls with us?”
“I suppose I will.” Abby stopped by the fireplace and picked up a log, adding it to the blaze. “We’re running low on wood. Maybe I ought to bring some in.”
Kurt looked up and smiled, and when the now familiar lines appeared around his eyes, Abby’s heart skipped a beat.
“I’ll bring it in after we get back,” he said, and turned to Erin. “What do you say we make scrambled eggs, instead, so we can get out of here fast?”
Erin nodded and rummaged through the cooler. After several minutes, she held out an egg carton. “I think these are the last ones and somebody drank all the milk.”
“Then I’m going to have to head into town for some more food and ice this afternoon.” Kurt cracked two eggs at once and dropped them into a bowl.
Kurt leave? Abby had known they didn’t have enough food to last long, but the thought of giving away their location made her weak with fear.
“Then we should all go.” She tried to keep her voice level so she didn’t startle Erin.
Kurt shook his head. “I think you and the kids should stay here. I’ll go after lunch and be back before dark. Do you think you can wait for the firewood until I get back?”
Though she realized he was right, panic knotted her stomach and a lump formed in her throat.
If Vic managed to follow them as far as the town, he wouldn’t necessarily recognize Kurt. But if they all went together, they might give themselves away. Still, she didn’t like the idea of Kurt’s leaving them alone.
“Where do you have to go?”
“Milford. It’s about fifty miles away.”
She turned so he wouldn’t see the fear in her eyes. Fifty miles! On these rutted roads? If he didn’t leave until after lunch, he’d be lucky to return before dark. It would be much better to have him gone for hours during the daylight and back before the sun set. “Maybe you ought to start now.”
“What about our trip to Angel Falls?”
“We can do it tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Kurt said uncertainly. “I’ll tell the boys.”
Erin groaned in protest. “Why can’t we go ourselves?”
Under any other circumstances, Abby would’ve agreed. But a vague sense of uneasiness warned her not to give in. Pushing the thought away, she told herself she was just feeling nervous at the idea of being here without Kurt.
Nothing had happened to them yet. Angel Falls wasn’t far and the path was fairly easy. She and the kids could make the trip without trouble, and it would keep all their minds off Kurt’s absence.
“Fine,” she said with a forced smile. “We’ll go today. Call the boys in and let’s eat.”
Erin dashed toward the door and Abby reached for the stack of plates, but Kurt’s hand arrested hers. “Maybe you shouldn’t—”
“We’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know, Abby. I—”
Withdrawing her hand, Abby forced herself to meet his eyes. “We’ll be fine, Kurt. You were the one who told me we shouldn’t hide here waiting for disaster. Well, you were right. You go after the supplies and I’ll keep the kids occupied.”
When he didn’t look away, Abby made herself move. She placed the plates and cutlery on the table before turning back to him. “We’ll be fine. Really. Would you stop worrying?”