“Stop saying that!”
“I don’t know how else to say it.” Teagan leaned forward, checked to make sure her food wasn’t leaking onto the dashboard, saw something that worried her, grabbed it, and headed for the trash can by the order window of the diner.
Okay, the truth is, she was probably giving it a minute so what she told me could sink in.
Seems like I do argue more than I used to, but I don’t think it has anything to do with Barry kicking the crap out of me. I just think my family has lost their minds.
Evidently, Teagan can read mine.
She got back in the car. “Didn’t you ever stop to ask yourself why all of a sudden you think everything O’Flynn changed? We didn’t all change, Cara. You changed. Don’t get mad. Just think about it for a second.”
“I guess you’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“Dingleberry, you need to stop being defensive and really think about it. Think. Before Barry beat you up, you were one of those people that always saw the good in everything and everybody. You were the ultimate optimist. You never let anything get you down. Ever.”
“Sounds more immature and weird than anything else, and it sure doesn’t sound like a compliment. I’m here helping you, and you’re just being mean.”
“It wasn’t meant as either. Not a compliment or an attack. Cara, there are two kinds of people in the world. Some find the bad in everything, and others find the good. From the time you were a little little kid, you found the good in everything. That isn’t an accident. It’s a life choice.”
“I find the good in stuff.” Okay, my response sounded more whiny than I’d intended.
“Yes. You do. But not like you used to. You used to have this great passion in life. You were passionate about everything. Now, well, I don’t want to say you’re boring, but you seem to have lost your passion.”
“Passion for what?”
“For everything! When is the last time you wore your stupid nightgowns?”
“They aren’t stupid. I live with my boyfriend’s sister and her baby.”
“So what? They’re upstairs. They have a door. Even if they didn’t, you could lock yourself and A.J. in your own room.”
“True, but I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve always been a busy person, Cara. When is the last time you wanted to invite the whole family over for dinner?”
“Everybody else has been busy, too.”
“Everybody else has always been busy. You now have a big old house, and the old Cara would have been cooking like crazy. The kids would have been over all the time. You have your dream house and your dream work situation, and instead of wallowing in it like the old Cara would have, you’re just kind of existing.”
“That’s not true.”
“What’s not true about it?”
“Wait, look, somebody’s going into the church.”
“Saved by the proselyte.”
“What does proselyte mean?”
“A person that changes from one religion to another.”
“How do you know they switched?”
“Cara, look! It’s Tommy Watterson.”
“Oh, crap, you’re right. He went to school with Liam. He was all about being Catholic. I thought he was going to be a priest.”
“I think he was. He fell in love with a woman about as soon as he got out of the seminary. I really don’t understand why priests can’t be married, but that’s an argument for another time.”
“No argument here.”
“See, the old Cara would have argued just for the fun of it.”
“Shut up. The old Cara probably would have punched you by now. Don’t push your luck.”
“Better. Let’s go talk to Tommy and see if he knows anything about Gord and Lola.”
Long story short, Tommy still has a crush on Teagan and was willing to do just about anything to impress her.
He goes to church there, but isn’t more involved than anyone else. He’s married and is going to honor his commitment, but it’s not going well. Seems his wife really liked the fact that she was dating someone off-limits, and now since he isn’t off-limits and they’re married, well, he just isn’t as interesting.
He looked crushed admitting to it.
Teagan got her we’ll-fix-your-life-after-we-fix-mine look on her face, but fortunately Tommy doesn’t know her well enough to recognize the look.
Tommy took our phone numbers so he could contact us if he thought of anything else.
As we were walking away, he called out to Teagan. When we turned, he had his hand up like he was still in the fourth grade.
“There is one other thing.”
“Anything might help.”
“Pastor Lola. I hate to say anything bad about her, but there have been a few times, actually, quite a few times, that she’s flubbed her lines.”
“Flubbed her lines?”
“I don’t pretend to be a theologian, but I know my scripture pretty well. There have been times she has made some pretty glaring mistakes. Not anything the average person would notice, but to anyone that has studied the way you would expect someone in her position to have studied, it was apparent.”
“Thanks, Tommy. That really does help.” Teagan gave him her best smile.
I thought he might faint.
Back in the car, with the air conditioner on, we sat.
I pushed my seat back a little. A very short person must have been the last to ride in Teagan’s car. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? Certainly not Jessie. His legs are even longer than mine. Just who has my sister been giving rides? I know a normal person gives people rides on a semiregular basis, but Teagan isn’t a normal person. She’s a car guy. People might get their DNA all over her car. Barf on her bathroom floor, you’re good, although you’ll be cleaning it up. Breathe on her dashboard, not so much, but then she hasn’t been acting car-normal lately. I’ll think about that later. “So now what?”
“So, now we sit.”
“Yeah, I see that. Are you thinking or waiting to insult me again?”
“I can do both, but I wasn’t trying to insult you, Cara. I was trying to help you.”
“By saying I’ve lost my mind?”
“Not your mind, just your attitude. Your passion. Your focus. Your reality. Your history. Your tradition. Your belief structure.”
“Jeez. I think I’d rather lose my mind.”
“Give it time.”
“It hasn’t been that bad.”
“Cara, why would you want to live with not that bad?”
There was nothing I could say. She’d backed me into a corner. I decided to think about it before I defended myself. Mostly because I’m not sure she’s wrong.
Teagan started the car. “You know what?”
“Which what? Me what or Lola what?”
“Lola first. It cost Tommy something to say Lola doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He had a little internal fight going on there. He wanted to tell me, because he wanted to extend the conversation and maybe impress me a little, but he didn’t want to be telling tales out of school.”
“And you say I sound like a fifty-year-old.”
“Are you gonna listen?”
“Sure. I’ve got nothing better to do.”
“You could get a pedicure. Those toes are scary, Cara.”
“Stay on subject. What about Tommy? And when were you looking at my toes?”
“I think maybe what he was trying to tell us, without really telling us, was Lola isn’t a real person.”
“A real pastor?”
“Right. That’s what I meant. You would think a person that was going to take over a small church would know her stuff. If Lola doesn’t, what does it mean?”
“She’s a lousy pastor?”
“Maybe.”
“How does taking over a church work? Whenever a new priest takes over, he just kind of shows up one day. I know some other religions, they have boards, and they vote on stuff, and they hi
re their leaders. For all I know, Catholics do the same thing, and I just never paid any attention. I read a book where one of the characters was fresh out of the seminary, or whatever they call their school, and she fell in love with the hot guy, and she was trying to decide if she wanted to continue her studies or take a job somewhere else where the hot guy wouldn’t go. I have to look that up. I bet there’s a sequel, and I haven’t seen it. It was a good book.”
“Focus, dingleberry. I don’t want to know about your fantasy life.”
“What? I just said it was a good book.”
“I don’t want to have to visualize A.J. in a backwards collar, although if you were gonna fantasize, it probably would be about some guy in a collar.”
“Okay, remind me to smack you when we get home. Where are we going?”
“Home, I guess. I’ll drop you off, and then I’ll go back to the office and see if I can get some work done. With any luck, Gord will just walk in the door, and we’re done.”
“Really? If he walks in the door, you’re done? You have a pastor wife that might not be a pastor. You have an employee who comes and goes, and his wife threatens to ruin your business, and if he walks in the door, you’re done? Talk about me losing my mind. What about you? I wouldn’t let this go. There are too many things that could go very, very wrong.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know! That would be the point.”
“You’re right. First, we find Gord. Then we figure out what the hell he and his pastor wife are up to.”
“Exactly.”
“Cara, I really didn’t say all the stuff about Barry to hurt you. I just miss you. I miss the way we were. I miss the fun. I miss the crazy. I miss your cooking more than anything else.” She smiled at me.
“I need to really think about what you said, but I can definitely pick up the cooking part. And for the record, I’ve missed all of it, too. I just didn’t realize it until you said something.”
It didn’t take long to get back to the crazy.
Teagan dropped me off at home, and less than thirty minutes later, she called. She was doing the stage whisper thing. “He’s here!”
“Gord showed up?”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you whispering?”
“I’m in my office. Door shut. But you can still hear me if you’re in the hall and I talk. You know how loud I am.”
“I am aware. What’s going on?”
“Cara, he’s beat to shit.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why didn’t you ask? You see an employee. He has been missing for days. His wife’s in a hissy. It’s normal for you to ask.”
“The look on his face. Oh. My. God. Pure evil. He scared the crap out of me.”
“So you’re just going to pretend that nothing happened?”
“I’m going to talk to him. I just need to screw up my courage. If Mr. Fisher was here, I wouldn’t have to worry about it.”
“Bull. Mr. Fisher would have had you handle it anyway.”
“True, but I could blame Mr. Fisher for anything he didn’t like. I had a buffer.”
“Well, welcome to the big time. You want me to come down there?”
“No. Could you call Rory and ask him to come over here? He has the afternoon off. And tell him to bring a gun. And maybe three big friends.”
“You’re really that scared?”
“I gotta go. Make the call, Cara.”
I sent up the family bat signal. Called Rory while I was driving to Teagan’s office. Called my brother Seamus as well. He’s really level-headed, so if anyone could keep everyone calm, it’s Seamus. Besides, his office is only about three blocks from Teagan’s office. He could run there faster than he could drive.
I’ll bet he drives, but that’s a whole other annoyance thing. The words “Seamus” and “casual” will never have a hailing acquaintance. I’d bet money he wears a suit in the shower, and not of the birthday variety. He eats fruit with a knife and fork. Who does that? I’m sure he must be adopted; I’m just not sure from which planet.
When I got to the office, Rory was walking in the door, a really good-looking guy with lots of muscles beside him. I zipped into a parking space and jogged toward the front door of Teagan’s building. I thought about running to the back, but I think since all this started, she’s been more careful about locking the back door, so if nobody was out there on a break, I’d have to run around to the front anyway.
I should get good-looking muscle guy’s name so I can introduce him to Suzi.
He’s cute beyond words, and if Barry causes any trouble — should he ever get out of jail — if muscleman doesn’t have to shoot him, he can definitely tear him into little pieces.
I can’t believe Rory has been holding out on me.
The receptionist pointed toward Teagan’s office.
When I walked in the door, Rory and the cute guy were standing on either side of Gord. Teagan was behind her desk. Seamus was sitting in her other visitor’s chair.
They all appeared to be pretty calm, considering.
Teagan didn’t say a word when I came in the room. She looked over at the sofa to the right of her desk. I took up a position there.
“Teagan, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I told you. I have been in contact with Lola. Everything is fine. I didn’t realize she made such a stink. I understand now why you reacted the way you did, but really, all these people?”
“They aren’t people; they’re my family.”
Teagan must be more scared than I thought. It isn’t often she makes a blunder like that.
I must be nervous, too. It isn’t often I think words like “blunder.”
Teagan blushed, which was good, because she was kind of pale.
“Gord, you disappear. Your wife tells me she thinks you have been abducted. The last time you’re seen is with a woman who refuses to even talk to the police, and you come back here looking like you have been tortured. What was I to think?”
“Are you going to fire me?”
“You’re still on probation, and you disappeared for days. Any normal boss would have to let you go day one.”
“But you aren’t just a normal boss. You’re great. I know I blew it.”
Rory was the one to state the obvious. “Maybe it would help her make a decision if she knew where you’d been and what happened to you.”
“Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Sorry.”
He moved around in his chair. Trying to get comfortable or stall while he thought of a good story. If the latter were the case, he’s an idiot. Why would you walk into your place of business all beat up, after days without calling, and not have the story of all stories ready for your boss?
“Okay, I’ll just tell you what happened, and whatever happens as far as my job goes, happens.”
Teagan didn’t say a word, but gave him a little nod.
“Remember when the whole thing happened about the porn stuff?”
Teagan nodded.
“I went home. Lola was upset, as you can imagine. She could lose her job over something like that.”
I was sitting slightly behind Gord, so he couldn’t see the faces I was making. I did the combo eye roll-lip scrunch thing, which clearly means Come on now. You would think if Teagan’s company was a front for some kind of kinky porn thing, there would be more concerns from his pastor wife than losing her job.
And wouldn’t — as a woman of faith — she turn it around and try to save the souls of those who had gone astray?
Maybe it’s just me.
Not sure if it’s the old me or the new me. Not sure I like the fact I have to worry about which me it is.
Gord went on to explain Lola was so concerned about her position she went to speak to some of the elder members of her congregation. While she was off seeking wisdom, he decided he was starving. Where’s a pastor’s worried husband to go for a quick bite? Hooters, of course. There he met a young woman. Had never spok
en to her before. She was sweet and had a problem. He decided to counsel her. They left together because her shift was over. They made it down about three blocks. Some guys jumped them, but Gord, being the gentleman he was, and the man of God he hopes to always be, took on the guys and told the Hooters girl to run for it.
“Why didn’t she call for help?” Seamus didn’t seem inclined to believe Gord.
“It was all over so fast nobody could have gotten there to help anyway.”
“I find it interesting the two of you just happened to find the only spot in all of Old Town that wasn’t covered by camera surveillance for the attack to be done off-camera. One camera had been broken out about six hours before you walked away with the girl. What are the chances?” Rory had looked into this more than I thought.
“Maybe the broken camera is why the guys chose that place to jump someone, and I just happened to be the someone to walk by. Maybe the guys jumped me because they’re the guys who broke the camera.”
“So they let a Hooters girl, in uniform — so probably carrying her tips — walk away, and they go after a guy that looks like he is big enough to take on half the football team? Just how far off common sense do we have to go to make that work?”
“The mind of a criminal never really makes sense, does it?”
I found it really interesting that Gord didn’t react much to the fact that the camera was broken. I would have jumped up and asked how Rory knew it was broken, and how he knew it was broken when everything went to hell. Why wasn’t Gord asking that?
I thought Teagan did really well. I knew her head was about to explode, but I don’t think Gord had a clue.
Seamus stood. “As counsel to your company, Teagan, I would suggest you give our friend here a few days off with pay. Allow him to heal. Allow the police to investigate further. Reevaluate when you have all the facts.”
“Why would the police investigate further? I’m fine. A little beat up, but no real damage. I can’t give you a detailed description or anything, and you said yourself the camera wasn’t working in that area. Sounds like a dead end.”
Rory smiled. “We’re better than that these days.”
“You’re a cop?”
“Yep.”
“I thought you were Teagan’s brother.”
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