Out of a Texas Night

by Phyliss Miranda

  At the end of their shift, Sylvie pulled off her mask and laid it on the counter. In her soft Texas drawl, she said, “That was more fun than trying to pluck a dozen chickens in a tub of water without drowning them.”

  Dannie laughed with the others and adjusted her mask, trying her best to not look for the man who had intrigued her earlier. Her eyebrows knitted together as she watched a long line of men form.

  “Okay.” Mesa took Dannie by the arm and pulled her away from the window. “Quit frowning. Our only rule, other than not letting the guys manhandle us, is not to haul off and hit any of the slimy ones. Just please remember, although legally you are still a resident here because you own land and it’s your primary residency, you don’t have any jurisdiction. This isn’t Harris County, so don’t go thinkin’ you can go wake the judge for a restraining order and have a kisser’s ass hauled off to the hoosegow. They are buying a kiss, not a night in the hammock.”

  “Well—”

  “I know you could get a judge in a heartbeat, since he’s your uncle.” Mesa shook her head.

  While Mesa laughed in a deep, jovial way, Dannie stared at the line waiting for the bells on the tower to chime the hour, so they could begin their shift.

  Dannie gritted her teeth and made a choice…suck it up and set a goal. By damn, they’d make more money for their charity than Sylvie and Raylynn. “I don’t know how in the living hell you got me mixed up in this anyway. I don’t recall volunteering.”

  “Poor, pitiful Avery Danielle Humphrey. Don’t you remember when we swore we’d always have one another’s back?”

  Dannie remembered the life-changing decisions they made years before. They’d been friends forever and they’d always been there for one another. They’d proven it more times than she wanted to remember. Biting her lower lip, she closed her eyes and reminded herself this was going to be a fun day and she had to let the bad thoughts evaporate like too little water on a flower bed in August.

  “I need space, Mesa. You of all people know it.” She finally mustered up more of an explanation. “As much as I love you, I’m afraid this is one time our pinky swear won’t pull me up out of the ashes I’ve found myself wallowing in.”

  “You’ve wallowed enough. Now you need tough love, and I think you know better than anyone that any LeDoux has plenty of that to dish out.” Mesa twisted her head a tad. “Remember, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

  “One of Granny Johnson’s sayings.”

  “Remember, for years we thought she stole it from a famous author then learned, as both of us know oh too well, it’s AA’s Serenity Prayer. One we’ll never forget.”

  Dannie chuckled but deep down felt a calm the prayer always brought her. “Your grandmother is one of a kind. Gotta love her. Okay, let’s get our shift over and done with. I want to get to the Buckin’ Bull and have the biggest Coke they have. I think after we kiss all the men lining up, we’ll need to cool off.”

  “Well, I want to eat first. Then we’ll clean up from the last shift and can go have some fun … not that kissin’ isn’t fun.” Mesa adjusted one of her turquoise-and-silver earrings, then looked out at the two lines of men forming.

  After the first dozen customers, Dannie shifted, already tired of negotiating for a kiss, not to mention standing like Angelina Jolie with her lips stuck out for some stranger to end up pecking her on the cheek.

  Dannie placed the twenty she’d just received in the cash box, while Mesa negotiated with the next man in line. Her friend could have been a soiled dove from the Wild West, as shameless as Mesa was in making the next kisser pay more than twice what the guy in front of him had contributed.

  In her typical fashion, Dannie surveyed the crowd while she touched her hat to make sure the feather was still attached. Suddenly, the man she had been watching from afar appeared in her line of sight. Reaching to the ground, he picked up the purse of an elderly woman who had just dropped it. In the process, the pirate vest he wore pulled up, exposing what no doubt was the outline of a weapon in his back waistband beneath the red sash, likely in a suede and saddle leather holster. She knew the outline only too well.

  After tenderly making sure the woman was safely on her way, he got back in place. A half a dozen men stood in front of him and then it’d be his turn to begin negotiations. Perspiration dampened Dannie’s hands while her heart beat like someone who entered a murder scene not knowing what to expect. Did Dannie want to make sure Mesa was the one to give out her affection or did Dannie wish to be the lucky woman?

  The Howard twins, who probably were in the first graduating class in Kasota Springs, stood before Dannie and Mesa. Harold said to his brother, “I know I put those two bucks in here somewhere, but I can’t find them.” He continued to dig in first one Levi jean pocket then another. “Maybe I gave it to you.”

  “No, no you didn’t. Let me see.” Jarald began removing items from his jacket, while he asked over his shoulder, “Are we holding you nice ladies up?”

  “Take your time, Mr. Howard. We’ll wait for you.” Mesa smiled at both men.

  Dannie stepped back, tugging Mesa with her, to give the two elderly citizens some room as the men unloaded their pant pockets and placed the contents on the narrow counter separating the men from the ladies.

  Lowering her voice, Dannie said, “See the man you don’t know who is seventh in line—”

  “He’s the one you’ve been ogling all afternoon, isn’t he?”

  “I wasn’t ogling him, just observing. Notice the necklace he has on?”

  “I see it. It looks like one your grandfather had,” Mesa said then continued quickly, “something to do with his Texas Ranger badge, wasn’t it?”

  “Exactly. Carved out of a Mexican five-peso silver dollar; perfect for a man’s neck.”

  “I don’t understand. Anybody could buy one nowadays.” Mesa kept watch, as the twins continued sorting the contents they’d laid on the counter.

  “No. Well, yes, there’s a lot of fakes out there, but I think his is authentic. I’ll bet the ranch that he comes from a line of lawmen and might well be in law enforcement himself. No doubt in my mind. A handsome, gentlemanly lawman who is definitely not a Ranger, so he’s likely working undercover the way he’s dressed.”

  “But, remember most everyone is wearing costumes, so that might be his,” Mesa suggested.

  “No. He screams undercover. There’s no place in this part of the country where he could get by being a cop of any type wearing hair like that and a pierced ear. No way. He’s undercover for some agency.”

  After the twins put their possessions back where they belonged, Harold said, “Miss Mesa, we didn’t find that money, but we’ve got ten dollars apiece if that’ll work.”

  “Yes, sir, that’ll work.”

  Before the ladies stepped forward, Mesa leaned into Dannie and said, “So you think he’s undercover and from here? Remember nothing newsworthy has happened here since Sylvie’s brother cut his hand by accident and died when we were in the sixth grade.”

  Chapter 2

  Brody VanZant stepped away from the kissing booth to check on a man who had lingered too long around the girl’s portable potty for Brody’s liking.

  In short order, a young girl of about four or five came out screaming, “Daddy, I did it. Right down the hole. I watched it until it was all gone.” She giggled, while her father squirted liquid sanitizer from one of the bottles on the post outside the bathrooms. She took her dad’s hand, and as they walked away, she said, “Now I want to get my face painted.”

  Brody mumbled to himself, “Okay, she’s safe.” Being a lawman, he couldn’t help but stay alert and observant to everyone and everything around him. But this time, it cost him his place in line to get a better look at the elusive woman who had caught his attention. M
aybe it was the headpiece that sported a gigantic feather from some unfortunate bird. The lady with the mahogany-colored hair piled beneath the hat was striking. But something about her made him feel uneasy. One thing for sure, he planned to get back in line before she had a chance to escape.

  He passed the gazebo where quite a few senior citizens were playing bingo and headed to the area where booths were set up.

  “Hey, man, you gonna ignore me?” Deuce Cowan called from behind.

  Brody turned and shook hands with the sheriff of Bonita County.

  “Nope. I was trying to find you.” Brody skirted the truth.

  “I’m glad you were, because if I hadn’t seen you in one of our undercover stings, I wouldn’t have recognized you. Frankly, you could easily fit into a homeless shelter for druggards and drunkards.”

  “Thanks. That’s what I’m supposed to look like.” They took a few steps and Brody said, “You and your beautiful wife gave the festival a great kickoff.”

  “Thanks. Mesa’s horses made me look good, but nothing could make Rainey any more beautiful.”

  “She is as pleasant as she is pretty. How is her law practice going, considering her responsibilities as owner of the antique store?” Brody asked.

  “Really good. She’s gotten a number of regional clients once they learned her background as an L.A. assistant district attorney. She’s turned most of the antique store over to Sylvie Dewey, who is doing a great job.”

  As they neared the area crowded with people playing Texas Hold’em, Deuce stopped and said loud enough for everyone to hear, “Now, if I see so much as a penny at any table, you know I’ll have to arrest you on charges of illegal gambling. Stay with the Monopoly money; it’s worth more than bail.” He laughed and was quickly joined by the majority of the players.

  “Yes, sir, Sheriff,” one petite woman dressed like Annie Oakley responded, then threw out a hundred-dollar Monopoly bill and turned back to the table. “Call.”

  After Brody and the sheriff got out of earshot, Deuce lowered his voice. “Thanks again, man, for coming over from Amarillo to help me out, especially being the first day you’ve come off undercover duty. We’re really short on deputies right now, with you being on loan to the joint task force, so I owe you.”

  “No problem. With everyone in costume, I just blend in like any other pirate looking for a night of fun.”

  “I mean it. Your ass will always be covered as long as I’m around.” Deuce slapped him on the back. “But don’t forget if you ever want to permanently leave the JTF and work out of here as a detective just let me know. I can make it happen.”

  “Yeah, but I really enjoy putting my life on the line every time I stop someone for speeding on I-40.” Brody double-checked the kissing booth to make certain the pretty lady was still on duty. To his surprise, she raised her head and their gazes met, but he continued talking to the sheriff. “Two nights ago we busted a ring at a house we’d been surveilling for a while. Got a search warrant and came up with over two hundred pounds of marijuana worth nearly a hundred thousand dollars on the street. When convicted, that’ll extrapolate to about a ten-thousand-dollar fine each and twenty years in the pen. They had nearly seventy-five thousand dollars hidden in the floor. They didn’t even have enough sense to put a rug over the part of the flooring they removed to hide the money. Just a coffee table.” Brody glanced back at the kissing booth. Miss Southern Belle was still there. “Of course, local dealers are small potatoes considering who we’re really looking for.”

  “Just remember if it wasn’t for the work you guys on the JTF do and the money you all find in the drug busts that’s shared with all the counties on the team once they are through with it as evidence, I wouldn’t have a decent pickup to drive,” Deuce countered.

  “Yeah, when the trial is over,” Brody said. “I’m sure the dealers would cry their eyes out if they knew how and where we destroy the drugs. I’ll take cruising around this town waiting on something to happen. Oh yes, and I almost forgot we serve papers all over Bonita County. I love the look on the face of men who have no idea their wife has filed for divorce until they see us drive up with papers in hand. Generally, some woman is trying to dress as quickly as possible in the background.” He laughed richly. “Now that I came out from UC, I’ll be free to return to you all, if you still need me. I’ve always wanted to drive a forfeited Mercedes, but if we don’t impound one, promise I’ll get one of those new Impala PPVs once I’m back here full time.”

  “You got any kind of police pursuit vehicle you want.”

  “I’ll remind you of this conversation when you try to pawn off one of those antique units on me.” Brody looked up and wanted to laugh out loud when he saw the Turtle Race booth. “What the hell, Deuce? I can’t believe we’re prejudiced against snapping turtles.” He pointed to the sign above the event sponsored by the Bonita County Sheriff’s Department that read, “No Snapping Turtles Allowed.”

  “I can’t put that much liability on the county, in case somebody gets hurt.” Deuce laughed.

  Brody said, “What’s the phone number for the people who handle discrimination against turtles?” He shook his head. “I guess I could call 911.” He rubbed his jaw then said, “Maybe it’s my civic duty to hire a lawyer for the turtles.” He chuckled aloud. “Maybe your wife would handle my case.”

  The lawmen guffawed as they meandered toward the area where exhibits were set up.

  “Hunka hunka studman.” Deuce slapped his thigh in amusement.

  “I haven’t thought about that song in a while. It was the beginning to one of our many frat songs. As I recall back then neither of our mothers could remember the words the same way,” Brody said.

  “Yep, I thought at one parent-athlete event, they were about to hit one another. But then ‘YMCA’ came on and it stopped their bickering,” Deuce said. “Well, until the next time they heard one of our made-up songs.”

  The two lawmen let out hearty laughs. As they got out of the less-populated part of the square, they sung together, “Hunka, hunka superstud. Whatta what a man.”

  “Hey, who’s the lady over there at the kissing booth with Mesa LeDoux?” Brody asked.

  “Don’t recognize her. I only know it’s Mesa with her but have never laid eyes on that Southern belle.”

  “And you didn’t recognize those long legs that make her nearly as tall as either of us—and we aren’t midgets. I know you’re taken, but I didn’t know you were so far gone that you can’t look at an attractive woman,” Brody teased.

  “Rainey keeps me in shackles most of the time. I’m taken and happy about it. My world sure is different since we got married. She’s a wonderful woman, as you know. Mama just loves her.” Deuce lowered his head a little and said, “Certainly more than me, but that’s okay. I know Mama loves me whether she recognizes it or not.” Deuce looked down at the ground, obviously uncomfortable thinking about his Alzheimer-ridden mother. He took a deep breath. “As far as that long-legged cowgirl is concerned, I just haven’t been around this part of Texas long enough to get to know everybody. Lots of folks come into town just for the festival and rodeo. That gal is probably one of Mesa’s rodeo buddies. Likely a barrel racer, if I had to guess.” Deuce raised an eyebrow. “Got a suggestion. Get in line and find out who she is for yourself. I’ve got to go find Rainey.” Deuce adjusted his tan Stetson. “Could always use some help with the cleanup. Seems everyone disappears when it comes to the end of the festivities. Then we could go over to the Buckin’ Bull for a cold one. You available?”

  “Yep, I’ll be there. Then I’ll head out to my ranch and catch a few winks, so I’ll be fresh for tomorrow. Plus I’ve got to get an appointment to get this hair cut, since this undercover job is over. Don’t trust myself to even shave much less cut this shaggy hair I’ve had to grow out.”

  “Being on the joint task force can be pure hell, but it looks like you all are clos
ing in on the scumbags involved in at least one of your cases,” Deuce said.

  “Closer than anybody knows. See you later,” Brody said as they went their separate ways.

  The sheriff had no idea just how close to home the bust might be, but there was still a lot of work to be done.

  Brody passed up the pie-throwing contest, since he really didn’t want to run into his sister at the moment. Plus, he hated to see two grown women who had feuded for years waste good ol’ fashioned whipping cream on paper plates by having it thrown at them.

  In true Texas style, Brody’s sister, Winnie, and Clara, owner of Pumpkin’s Café, had come together for the benefit of the Kasota Springs Museum. They actually looked like they were having fun. He shook his head and in a moment or two found himself in line at the kissing booth. A big mistake, likely, but he had to know more about the pretty lady with the crazy hat.

  The smell of Winnie and Stanley Mitchell’s barbecue lunch hung in the air like honey butter on hot biscuits. Brody had skirted the area of the catering truck. He was happy that his sister had finally settled down with a man she’d loved for so many years. From the times they’d visited, the couple seemed as happy as any married folks Brody knew. The only rub he saw was Stanley’s baby brother, fresh out of the detention center, had come to live with them. Obviously, a bright kid because he avoided Brody like a scared prairie dog facing a coyote. Although staying on alert with Tommy, the lawman was willing to give the kid the benefit of the doubt until he proved Brody wrong.

  Brody scrubbed his hand against his cheek. Working undercover for months had left him unable to visit his only sister. That was certainly the downside of his job. While he waited in line, another thought came to him.