Unbroken

by Jasmine Carolina

  This isn’t how I expected my life to go right out of high school. I wasn’t planning on having kids until my mid-twenties, but I know that if it’s happening now, it’s happening for a reason. I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared, because I am. The circumstances of my mother’s death haunt me daily, and I’d like to think that I won’t turn out to be like her. And with Brody’s father still lurking in the shadows, I can’t help but be incredibly terrified of bringing a child into this world of ours.

  It’s easy to get lost in the idea that there isn’t a world outside of the bubble we’ve created for ourselves, but there is. It’s huge and it’s ugly and I’m afraid for him, for myself, in this hellhole. So naturally I’m afraid for my prospective child.

  What’s worse is, things have been going so well, I keep waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. It always does. The minute Brody and I admitted our feelings for each other, his father came along. The minute we recovered from that, Maddox resurfaced. We finally get happy again, and I lose Kelsey to jealousy. There’s something, always something waiting and wishing to hurt us. I just hope that’s not the case right now.

  Either way, I have an appointment tomorrow where I hope I’ll find out if my suspicions are correct.

  I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I’m going to hold on to the fact that everything is going to be okay between us.

  When he comes back into the room, about ten movies in hand, I grin up at him. Scout’s tail whips against my body from where she lays right beside me, and Brody puts a movie into our Blu-Ray player. The first Lord of the Rings movie is the first to be put in, and he climbs in bed beside me. He sits up, and I rest my head in his lap.

  I absolutely love what he did for me this morning, even if it didn’t work out how he wanted it to. He looked so sexy in those flannel pants hanging low on his hips and no shirt on. I almost wanted to lean forward and trace the outline of his tattoo with my tongue.

  It’s his only tattoo right now, and I always find tears springing to my eyes when I look at it and recall the meaning behind it. It’s the first time I’ve ever truly appreciated the loving pet name he gave me, because he put it on his body. Normally I’m not a fan of stuff like that—tattoos are permanent, where most relationships are not—but the way he did it was so sweet, I couldn’t help falling in love with the dove and olive branch.

  And I couldn’t help falling in love with him all over again.

  He runs his fingers through my hair as I rest.

  He’s incredibly excited when the movie starts. He’s like a kid in a candy store watching this. I’m pretty sure if I wasn’t feeling ill, he’d be bouncing all over the place. I’ve seen what he’s like when he can’t contain his excitement, and he’s all but twitching from head to toe right now. It’s adorable, really, and through the worry in his expression over my sickness, he has the biggest, goofiest, boyishly adorable grin on his face.

  He lies down, his head propped up by our pillows, and I lay my head on his chest.

  “You are so cute, babe,” I say, placing a kiss on his cheek.

  He laughs at my spontaneity and shakes his head at me. “You’re cuter. I’d even go so far as to argue that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  God, I love it when he talks like that.

  Normally I’m opposed to swooning and gushing like an old southern woman, but when it comes to Brody, I absolutely cannot help it. He says the sweetest things to me.

  I reach my hand up and trace the dove with my finger. He grabs my hand and kisses the palm, smiling down at me. It’s become a habit of ours. After long hours of making love, oftentimes, I’m splayed across the bed and his fingers are roaming over my back, tracing my tattoo over and over again. And when he gets out of the shower, dripping wet, wearing a towel that leaves little to the imagination, I do the same thing to his.

  “What are you thinking, Dove?” he asks.

  “That if you’re going to get me a birthday present—which I hope you’re not, because I have everything I could ever need right here—it had better not be another tattoo.”

  He chuckles softly, but I’m serious. I’m not big on gifts. I’d rather he made me something or did something nice to show me how he feels about me. The tattoo and the spa trip as a graduation gift was perfect. It wasn’t too expensive, it was sweet, and it was well thought out.

  “Don’t worry, it won’t be. I don’t plan on getting another for a long time.”

  I nod, letting his hand go and turning to watch the movie he’s put in.

  He chuckles at something Gandalf the Gray has said, and I smile at him, in absolute awe of this perfect man before me.

  It’s a great life.

  TWENTY EIGHT

  “WELL,” MY DOCTOR SAYS, WALKING over to me, clipboard in hand, “you’re definitely pregnant. You’re about ten weeks along.” I stare blankly at her, and she nods understandingly.

  She’s not telling me anything I don’t know. I think I knew a week ago. Brody and I had visited Mom’s grave, and I ordered Brody and I some chili cheese fries from Hercules—my favorite burger joint in L.A.—and I could barely keep it down. And the three home pregnancy tests I took reassured what I had already suspected. Me coming to the doctor to confirm it was just a formality, honestly.

  Happy birthday to me.

  I can’t say anything. Even though I already knew, I have to admit that I’m in shock. I shake my head as the words repeat in my head incessantly.

  “I’m guessing by the look on your face that this wasn’t planned…”

  No, it sure as shit wasn’t planned. But it wasn’t prevented either. I can count on one hand the times Brody and I had sex without protection. Hell, we’re both eighteen as of today, so we have to hold ourselves accountable for leaving ourselves open for potential risks. We did so knowingly, and for that reason alone, I’m not panicking a single bit.

  We stopped using protection the first time he told me he loved me. But about ten weeks ago? I know that day like the back of my hand, because it’s the one I’ll never forget as long as I live. That was the day he had me how he needed me, rough and hard and up against the wall of my bedroom. That was also the day I believe solidified our bond.

  Well, that’s obvious from the fact that I’m currently growing a human.

  Pregnant.

  That’s a word I didn’t think I would hear for years to come. Am I upset? Not really. At least I know now my body’s not just shutting down on me. Instead of any other teenager in my predicament, I’m not worried about telling my parents. And I’m not worried about how Brody’s going to react. I’m pretty sure I know. His heart is so big, and he has so much love to give, so I know he’ll love this baby with every bit of him, just like he loves me.

  Things have been phenomenal with us. Last month, we moved into our apartment in Riverside, and our relationship has never been better. He works at Hastings still, and the shop is only thirty minutes away from our new place. Mom and Daddy gifted us the Denali as a graduation gift, insisting that it was an excuse for them to get a new car. So I have my Honda and Brody takes the Denali on days that he works. I’m no longer working at Le Chateau D’If. Instead, I’m working at The Underground, a club that my cousin Phoenix and his band play at regularly. I get out of work before he does, and I always have dinner on the table, and some dessert from Mom’s bakery waiting for him. We’ve got a routine, and a great one. Saturdays are date nights, and Sundays, we usually spend with Nic and Colin at the lake house.

  They’re already on their way out of Harlow, though. They wanted to get things settled in Big Springs before the school year started for them. To be honest, over the last two months, I’ve grown extremely attached to the two of them. I’m sad to see them go.

  Especially since the only female friend I had hates me.

  And that sucks, because it’d be great to have a girl to talk to about my newfound pregnancy.

  I’m not worried about Brody or how he’s going
to react to our news. I’m pretty sure he’ll be shocked, but happy nonetheless.

  What I am doing, though, is wondering how I’m going to tell him. We’ve always been a quirky couple, doing and saying things most people wouldn’t while in a relationship. So me revealing to him that I’m carrying his child, well, that has to be just as quirky as the rest of our relationship.

  “I know this might be a scary time, Sabrina, but I’m here if you want to discuss your options.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t need to discuss any options. I already know what I’m going to do. But thank you so much.”

  I leave her office with prenatal vitamins, strict instructions, and an appointment for two weeks from now. My heart pounds inside my chest as I think about it.

  I’m fucking pregnant.

  My hand flies subconsciously to my abdomen as I wander to my car. Stashed in my wallet is an ultrasound photo, with the evidence of my little Jelly Bean.

  I’m not going to tell anyone about it, not until I’ve talked to Brody first. Plus, I’m not that far along, and I want to keep it a secret until I’m at least in my second trimester. I’m sure Brody would want the same.

  I glance at my reflection in the mirror, and I wipe the happy tears from my eyes as I press the number two on my cell phone. I put my earpiece in, waiting for Brody to answer.

  We’re supposed to be meeting at my parents’ house for my birthday party later today. I insisted I didn’t want or need one, but they insisted that since it was my eighteenth birthday, I needed to indulge them just one last time. So I conceded, and I’ve got a big shindig waiting for me at the place I used to call home.

  “Hey, Dove. What’s up?” he asks.

  “Hey. Did you want to drive down to Mom and Daddy’s together, or were you planning to meet me there?” I ask.

  He’s silent for a long time as I wait for his response.

  “I think I’m going to meet you down there. Henry and I are still working on April Morgan’s car. I wanted to get this finished so I can take the weekend off and spend it with you.”

  I smile at his sweetness. That makes sense to me. Besides, if we have the entire weekend to ourselves, that’ll give me time to tell him about the baby. I decide that his eagerness to take the weekend off gives me time to come up with the perfect reveal for him, and I pray to God in Heaven that he reacts the way I think he will. The way I hope he will.

  “Okay, babe. Make sure you drag Henry’s ass down here with you. I know he’s seeing Nomi now, but that doesn’t mean he has to skip out on his best friend’s birthday.”

  That’s right. My best friend Henry is dating little Nomi Quinn. She broke up with Trey right before we graduated high school, and at the graduation party at the lake house, she and Henry really hit it off. They’ve been sickeningly inseparable ever since. I’m happy for them, I really am, but he’s been skipping out on a lot of our plans and functions ever since they got together.

  Well, he has no choice but to show up to my party today. If he doesn’t, I’ll kick his ass and make Nomi watch.

  He laughs. “Will do. We’ll see you in a couple hours. I love you, Dove.”

  I smile. Even after all the time that’s passed since the first time he gave me those words, I can’t get enough of hearing them. And apparently, he doesn’t get tired of saying them, because he gives me those words multiple times daily. But more than that, he shows me how much he means them, which tells me more than his words could ever say.

  “I love you more,” I say.

  I can almost hear his crooked grin on the other end. “If you say so.”

  I know by now that this is his goodbye. He’s got this obsession with having the last word, so I try to let him have it. Sometimes, though, if I tell him that I love him first, I get the last word. He hates that. It’s quite amusing, really.

  I blow a quick kiss into the receiver of my cell phone before I hang up, and I put my key in the ignition. Before I put the car in drive, I stash my wallet—and the picture of Jelly Bean—in the glove compartment.

  I drive off, feeling like I’m walking on air.

  If Brody keeps this up, this romantic stuff he’s been doing lately, he’s going to luck out with some hot birthday sex later on tonight.

  …

  “YARIDA, BURNING A HOLE IN my floor isn’t going to make Brody show up any sooner,” Daddy says, scolding me as I pace back and forth in the living room. “Calmate, mija. He’ll be here. You know he wouldn’t miss this.”

  I hate how he calls me by my middle name when he’s scolding me. That’s the most irritating thing in the world. But honestly, I’m not in the mood for a lecture today.

  I keep trying to force myself to believe him. But I’m nervous. I feel…sick. Like something’s wrong or something’s about to go wrong. And I can’t shake the feeling. It’s literally eating me up inside.

  I can’t even enjoy my strawberry cheesecake cake from Mom’s bakery without throwing up. And the fucked up part is, I’m not even sure if that’s because of me being nervous or because of Jelly Bean. Either way, this birthday is turning out to be the worst.

  I probably wouldn’t even be worried if he would pick up his phone. Or if Henry hadn’t shown up two hours ago with Nomi on his arm. Or if I had any idea where Brody might be. This is unlike him to not answer my calls, or not tell me if he was taking a detour before coming to Mom and Daddy’s. I’m not possessive or paranoid.

  But I know my boyfriend.

  And this is not like him.

  I’m trying to keep calm because stress isn’t good for me or for Jelly Bean. But pissed off Sabrina isn’t good for anybody.

  I have half a mind to interrogate Henry, since he was the last person to see him. But I don’t want to jump to conclusions.

  Maybe he headed home to shower and change first? He’s normally all greasy and sweaty after work, so that makes sense. Or maybe he stopped to get me a last minute birthday gift. I know he felt bad about only getting a tattoo and not getting me an “actual” gift, so perhaps that’s where he is?

  Either way, I can’t enjoy my birthday party without my man on my arm.

  “Sabrina, I’m sorry. I thought he was coming straight here. Do you want me to try calling him and see if he answers for me?”

  I narrow my eyes at him at what he’s insinuating—that my boyfriend is ignoring me purposely on my birthday—but I nod anyway. What harm will it do for him to try and call Brody, to see where he is? At the very least, maybe it’ll give us more information.

  “Yeah. Yeah. Have at it. And if he answers, let him know I’m going to kill him,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.

  Bianca, who’s been watching from the doorway, comes over to wrap her arms around me. She hugs me tightly, and I bury my face in her hair. She’s always known how to comfort me when I need it, and this moment is no exception. I hold on to my sister as I wait for Henry to dial Brody’s number. He puts it on speaker phone, and the entire room goes silent as the phone rings.

  I close my eyes and hold my breath, hoping for dear life that he answers this Goddamn phone call so I can yell at him. All I want is to yell at him for making me worry, and everything else can be figured out later.

  But then it happens.

  The call goes to voicemail, and Henry hangs up.

  I shake my head, unable to stand by and wait any longer to find out where he is or what’s going on. Nothing about this feels right. I release myself from Bianca’s hold and grab the keys to the Honda off the hook near the door. I throw my hoodie on over my head and race out the door.

  I hear pounding footsteps behind me, and I turn to stare them down.

  “Don’t you dare try to stop me. You either get in the fucking car or leave me alone,” I yell at Bianca.

  She makes the right choice. She gets in the car.

  I just wish I knew where we were going.

  …

  THIS SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA when I thought about it a month ago. I had planned to do this on her birthday, b
ut I didn’t want it to be some half-baked attempt at impressing her. She knows what my life was like, how much I struggled mentally, physically, and financially at the hands of my father.

  What she doesn’t know, though, is that my mother had a will. And in that will, she implicitly states that her bridal set belongs to me.

  I never got a chance to grab it from her room before I left here with the kids all those months ago, but I’m here now, ready to take what’s rightfully mine.

  He can have the house. He can have her clothes. He can have the memories, good and bad and all that comes with them. But he can’t have those rings.

  My mother told me that those rings belonged on the finger of the one girl who made my world turn. That girl is Sabrina, and I know it’s not much, but those rings are the most important possession I have, and I can’t wait to put that engagement ring on her finger. I know she’ll love it the moment she lays eyes on it, simply because it was Mom’s, and because she’ll know how much she means to me once I slide it onto her beautiful hand. All I have to do is get in there, get the rings, and get out.

  I honestly don’t know what possessed me to bring Cason and Dalis along. But they’re in the backseat, ready to face the demons of this home with me. I’m not the only one who has valuable possessions in the house. Dalis has a locket, Cason has Granddad Greer’s pocket watch. And I have the rings. And after today, after we get what rightfully belongs to us, we can walk away from this place and never look back.

  I look in the rearview mirror at my little sister, and she’s shaking in fear. Cason looks distant. And me…I’m shaking, but from another emotion entirely.

  Rage.

  The last time I was parked outside this house, my girl was inside, and that bastard hurt her. No one can put their hands on my girl, but worst of all, she’s been emotionally scarred ever since. Some days, I’ll watch her with Henry, or with her dad, and if they move their hands too quickly when she’s within arm’s reach, she’ll flinch.