The Christmas Party

by Carole Matthews

  ‘I used to watch you sleeping sometimes,’ Simon admitted. ‘I couldn’t believe you were mine. You were so beautiful. I missed you so much when I was away from you. Even when I slept I thought of you.’

  It would sound ridiculous to her, if she hadn’t felt exactly the same.

  ‘I thought we’d have a wonderful life together. A big house, perhaps by the coast – or at least a weekend place there. Remember all our wonderful trips to Cornwall? We loved it there, didn’t we?’

  ‘Yes.’ There were times, when she felt down or depressed, when she recalled those carefree trips with Simon. Walking on the beaches at St Ives and Penzance. Laughing as they tried to surf together. Having fish and chips sat on the seafront in Padstow. ‘It’s still my favourite place. I haven’t been there in years though.’ Too many memories.

  ‘What about the weekend when we went down in Stu’s battered old camper van? Him and that hippy girlfriend he had.’

  ‘Melody.’

  ‘That’s the one. Mad but great fun. She used to do our tarot cards.’

  ‘Yes, she did.’ Mystic Melody had said they would grow old together. How very wrong she’d been.

  ‘It was wonderful.’ Simon was clearly relishing turning back the years. ‘We rented surfboards. What a hoot.’ He laughed. ‘Then we all sat around the campfire at night, Stu with his guitar and too many bottles of cheap wine.’

  ‘It was great.’

  ‘Do you ever see Stu now?’

  ‘No. Not for a long time.’ So many friends had fallen by the wayside as she’d moved around with Tyler. ‘We lost touch.’

  ‘I loved it there. I’ve never been happier. Golden times. I thought we might live somewhere down there eventually.’

  ‘We used to pick the houses we’d like,’ Kirsten said. ‘Ones we never thought we’d be able to afford, in the estate agents’ windows.’

  ‘There’d be a couple of kids – maybe more. With your looks, of course. I even knew what dogs we’d have: a black Labrador and a springer spaniel. They’d be called Dexter and Bounce.’ He smiled again, but sadly now. ‘I had it all planned out, you know.’

  ‘We both did.’ Kirsten’s eyes brimmed with tears. ‘Or so we thought.’

  They were a year into their relationship when he’d been offered a job in Australia. Another step up on the corporate ladder. It was a great position, a huge salary. They’d been talking about getting married, when it came up. There’d even been a few conversations about starting a family. As Simon said, they’d been so in love. So very much in love. To this day, Kirsten didn’t really know what had gone wrong.

  ‘Did Australia lose its lustre?’ Her throat was tight as she asked the question.

  ‘Eventually. I’ve been in Texas for the last two years. Working for the Texan Oil Company,’ he said. ‘I tried to immerse myself in my job. For a few years, I think it even worked. I did a lot of charity work too, and that helped. I realised there were an awful lot of people worse-off than me. It still didn’t make me forget you, though.’ He stroked a finger tenderly over the back of her hand. ‘But I’m getting older, Kirsten, and I didn’t want to spend my life filled with regret. I just couldn’t stay away any longer.’

  ‘Is there a Mrs Conway?’ A green-tinged pain nipped at the edge of her consciousness. Why did she have to blurt out a stupid question like that? She hadn’t heard that he’d married, but then she’d deliberately tried not to take an interest in what Simon was doing after their relationship ended. Even now, it hurt to ask if Simon had a wife. Of course he would be married. Some gorgeous creature would have tempted him from his bachelor lifestyle by now. Probably someone the spitting image of Gwyneth Paltrow – all perfect teeth, blocked-blonde highlights and perky breasts.

  ‘Do you even need to ask that?’

  Kirsten glanced at his hand. ‘No wedding ring,’ she observed. ‘But that doesn’t mean anything.’ Tyler wore one, but it didn’t seem to hinder any of his affairs. ‘I thought you must have had a wife and at least two children by now.’

  ‘No. I can’t say that I didn’t try to forget you. I did, Kirsten. God knows I did. But no one has ever come close to meaning what you did to me.’ He sighed, and the intensity of his stare increased. ‘There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret that there isn’t an “us”.’

  ‘You did what you did. There’s no point in lamenting it. Life has moved on.’

  ‘All these years have passed and I think of you every single day, without fail. You’re always on my mind. We never fought, rarely argued. I still don’t know what happened.’

  She laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh at all. ‘Me neither.’

  ‘The job was massive,’ he said. ‘I know that much. Huge. Much bigger than I’d ever imagined. I had no idea what I was walking into. The responsibility, the sheer volume of work was relentless. I was flattered that they thought I could do it, but it consumed me. Some nights I could barely crawl home to my bed before I had to start it all again the next day. I didn’t even know which way up I was.’

  The plan had been for Simon to establish himself and then she’d leave her job to follow him. For the first month they’d been on the phone regularly and had emailed at least once a day. She missed him desperately and couldn’t wait to be there with him. It would be the start of a whole new exciting life for them.

  But their conversations had become more infrequent and somehow less loving. With the time difference and their jobs, it became harder to speak every day. It pained her even now to think about it. She had felt the distance opening up between them and could do nothing about it.

  ‘It was only meant to be for a short while,’ she ventured. ‘We should have been able to survive apart.’

  ‘I thought so too,’ Simon said. ‘But you chose Tyler.’

  ‘What else was I to do? I was young. I felt abandoned.’

  ‘Why did you marry him? Of all the people in the world, why Tyler?’

  ‘He was there,’ she said, plainly. ‘You weren’t.’

  ‘Are you happy with him?’ A barely discernible crack in his voice gave away the depth of emotion behind the challenge.

  ‘Happy?’ Kirsten stared up through the glass of the potting shed and up to the moon. ‘Ah. Isn’t that the million-dollar question?’ How could she begin to explain how she felt about her marriage when she wasn’t entirely sure herself? ‘Perhaps it depends on what your definition of happiness is.’

  ‘You could have been divorced and remarried by now. But instead you’ve stayed with Tyler.’

  ‘It doesn’t sound like you approve of that.’

  ‘I wish you’d come to Australia with me as planned.’

  ‘It’s all water under the bridge now.’ But she, too, often wondered how different her life would have been if she’d joined Simon as they’d intended.

  When it was clear that she wasn’t going to follow Simon to the New World straight away, Tyler had swept in, so very eager to take his place. He was the one who provided a strong shoulder for her to cry on. There’d always been a fierce rivalry between the two men. In a rare moment of honesty, Tyler confessed that he’d envied their love. Then, like managing a delicate project, he’d proceeded to woo her. He bowled her over with a romantic onslaught – flowers, candlelit dinners, weekends in European cities in the best hotels. It was champagne all the way.

  Kirsten threw herself into it, impatient to be loved again. She was determined that she wouldn’t pine for Simon. He didn’t deserve it. But she looked back now and was appalled at how needy she’d been. She hadn’t wanted to be left alone. She’d wanted to be with someone, anyone. There were times when she questioned whether she had ever really loved Tyler. She thought she had, but in truth she’d never felt the same about her husband as she had about Simon.

  That didn’t stop her marrying him. Six months later she and Tyler had a hastily arranged but lavish wedding. Everyone assumed she was pregnant. The fact was, she was simply desperate to prove to Simon that someone else could love h
er as much as he had.

  ‘We could have had a great life in Australia,’ he said. ‘I was devastated when I got your email saying you’d decided not to come. I could hardly believe it. You don’t know what it did to me.’

  Her head snapped up at that. ‘What?’

  ‘It was a cruel way to end it.’ He turned his face away from her. ‘It seemed so unlike you, but you obviously had your reasons. It was a great career move for me, but I’d done it for us. Both of us. I can’t blame you, I suppose,’ Simon continued with a shake of his head. ‘I handled it badly. I’d gone and Tyler was there to take my place. My heart just snapped in two.’

  She frowned at him. ‘Simon, I didn’t end our relationship. What are you talking about? You were the one who sent an email ending it all.’

  He gave a hollow laugh. ‘Of course I didn’t. I adored you.’ His eyes met hers. ‘I still do.’

  She looked back, perplexed. ‘What exactly did this email say?’

  ‘You should know.’

  ‘That’s the very weird thing, Simon. I don’t.’

  Now it was his turn to look confused, but he shrugged and said, ‘You told me that you’d fallen in love with Tyler. That he meant the world to you and you wouldn’t be coming to Australia.’

  ‘I hadn’t fallen in love with Tyler. That’s ridiculous. You were my life,’ she said. ‘I only started to see Tyler after we broke up. I needed him. He was the one who stepped into your shoes and helped to comfort me.’

  Simon raised his eyebrows at that. ‘I called Tyler the minute I got your email. He said it was true. That you were both sorry, but you hadn’t been able to help your feelings. I was crushed. I thought we were soulmates.’

  ‘We were,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t believe you’d ended it so abruptly.’

  ‘So …’ he said, ‘if I didn’t send you an email and you didn’t send me one, who could it have been?’

  ‘Oh no!’ Kirsten gasped.

  ‘There could only be one person who did it.’

  ‘Tyler,’ they said together.

  ‘That scheming bastard!’ Kirsten raged. ‘Wait till I get my hands on him. He did this?’

  Simon’s face was grey. ‘He must have set up a fake account in my name, and yours too.’

  ‘Why didn’t you ring me?’ she said.

  ‘For the same reasons you didn’t ring me, I expect. I was so stunned by the contents, it never occurred to me to check whether it really was from you. Who would dream of doing a thing like that?’

  ‘Tyler,’ they said again.

  ‘I did call him to have it out with him. He’d stolen you from beneath my nose. He told me in no uncertain terms to stay away, that you didn’t love me any more and didn’t want to talk to me.’

  ‘And you believed him?’

  ‘Yes. He was my best friend. Why would I doubt him?’

  ‘But you doubted me?’

  ‘Tyler was so plausible. He said he was racked with guilt at how things had turned out.’

  Kirsten sighed. ‘I bet he did.’

  ‘I thought I should just step away from the situation and, if you loved him, you should be free to do so.’

  ‘Oh, God.’ Kirsten put her head in her hands. ‘He told me you didn’t want to speak to me, that you wanted to move on with your new life.’

  ‘Oh, Kirsten. You believed him?’

  ‘I did.’

  ‘So did I.’

  ‘How could we have been so trusting?’

  ‘He was our best friend,’ Simon said. ‘Or so I thought.’

  ‘And yet he manipulated the end of our relationship for his own selfish ends. How could he do such a cruel, life-changing thing?’

  Simon shook his head ruefully. ‘The day you sent me an invitation to your wedding was the worst day of my life.’

  ‘I didn’t send you an invitation,’ Kirsten countered. ‘Of course I didn’t. You were the last person I would have wanted there. As far as I was concerned, you’d dumped me from a great height. That must have been Tyler too.’

  ‘It seems he’s engineered our unhappiness.’

  ‘I can hardly believe it. What a terrible thing to do to us both,’ Kirsten said. ‘I knew he was immoral, but I never knew he could stoop so low.’

  Simon’s expression was bleak. ‘We should have had more faith in our relationship. How could we let him do that?’

  ‘Would you have still gone through with it? Would you have still married Tyler if I’d come back to fight for you?’

  ‘How can I answer that?’ Tears were behind her eyes. She was struggling to process this latest revelation about her husband’s deceitful nature. He had duped them both so easily and had changed the course of their lives in doing so. If she dwelt on that too much, she might just go insane. ‘What’s done is done.’

  ‘Right until the last minute, I was going to jump on a plane. I swear to you. I was going to come right back and try to persuade you to change your mind.’

  ‘But you didn’t.’

  ‘No.’ Simon shook his head. ‘I thought it was what you wanted. I didn’t want to stand in the way of your happiness. Then it was too late. That was when it really hit me. You were gone and you were marrying my best friend.’ He gave her a rueful smile. ‘Some best friend, eh?’

  She shook her head, part of her still unable to comprehend it.

  ‘I got steaming drunk on the day of your wedding and picked up a nameless girl for the night. Afterwards, I thought I could find someone else. Surely the world was full of bright, beautiful women who could take your place? I thought I’d fall in love again easily when the time was right.’ He reached up and stroked his thumb over the curve of her cheekbone. ‘I was so terribly wrong.’

  ‘There’s no point to this, Simon.’

  ‘There is. I’ve never stopped loving you and I don’t think I ever will. I had to come back to see if you were deliriously happy with him.’ Simon gently squeezed her hand and she suddenly felt achingly sad deep down inside. ‘But you’re not.’

  ‘Tyler’s my husband. That’s all there is to it.’

  ‘He did a terrible thing to us. It’s even worse now I know that. He ruined our lives, Kirsten. Think of the future we could have had together. All I want to do is make that right.’

  ‘You speak as if time has stood still.’

  ‘Perhaps it has, for me.’

  ‘I’m married to Tyler. For better, for worse.’ A few short hours ago, she was vowing that next year everything would be different between her and Tyler. She’d been determined to work on their relationship. Even with this latest revelation to rock her world, could she turn her back on him? It was a dreadful situation. She’d thought Simon had left her and now it turned out that he’d never stopped loving her for one moment. It frightened her that she felt the same way. She looked at him, so handsome in the moonlight, and said bleakly, ‘What can I do?’

  ‘Leave him,’ he said starkly. ‘I still love you, Kirsten Benson. I always have. I want to hold you to me and cover your unhappy mouth with kisses. I want to bring the fire back to your sad, sad eyes. I want you more than I ever did. And I’m going to do everything possible in my power to take you away from him.’

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Melissa settled Lance in a quieter corner of the marquee, well away from the rest of the staff. She’d found a chair with arms so that he could stay upright in it rather than slide sideways on to the floor. He was talking loudly and incessantly about the success of his speech. Behind him, Tyler shook his head with disbelief.

  She topped up her husband’s glass with bourbon and handed it to him. ‘Tyler and I have to sort out a little something, angel.’

  ‘I love you,’ Lance mumbled. ‘Was I good, honey?’

  ‘You were fabulous,’ she said as she kissed his cheek.

  ‘Was I good, Tyler?’

  ‘Exceptional. Inspirational.’ Tyler rolled his eyes.

  She didn’t bother to tell him that Lance would be too drunk to catch the sarcasm in hi
s voice.

  ‘Don’t move.’ She patted his shoulder. ‘We’ll be back shortly.’

  As soon as she turned away, Tyler caught her by the elbow and hustled her along the corridor to the main house.

  Melissa had a pang of anxiety. She was becoming more concerned about Lance as he got older. ‘Do you think he’ll be all right left alone?’

  ‘He’s fine,’ Tyler muttered. ‘One of the staff might club him to death while we’re gone, but it’s no more than he deserves.’

  ‘I had no idea that was what he was going to say,’ she promised Tyler. ‘No idea at all.’

  He tutted at her and then opened a grand door, pulling her inside. It was the library; on the couch in front of the fire, a couple were entwined in a passionate embrace.

  ‘Out, out,’ Tyler barked. ‘I’m requisitioning this room for an important business meeting.’

  The couple jumped up, startled.

  ‘Oh, hi, Tyler.’ Smirking, the girl straightened her clothes, patted her hair. ‘How are things with you? It’s been a long time.’

  Tyler had the grace to look slightly discomfited. ‘Fine,’ he said. ‘Now skedaddle, the pair of you. Get a room.’

  She giggled at him. ‘We should catch up sometime.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Tyler said. ‘I’ll text you.’

  She grinned at him in a knowing way as she scuttled out with her partner.

  ‘Who was that?’ Melissa asked as the door closed behind them.

  ‘Can’t remember her name,’ Tyler said. ‘Works in Promotions. Very capable.’

  Sure she is, Melissa thought.

  When they’d gone, Tyler locked the door. ‘At least we won’t be disturbed now.’

  She wondered if Tyler would want to make love. It was dangerous, but she was sure that was part of the thrill for him. Men like Tyler were always attracted by the forbidden, the risky. Strangely, for once it was the very last thing on her mind.

  Melissa sat down on the sofa, smoothing her emerald-green sheath over her knees. The room was warm and it made her realise how very weary she was. All this subterfuge was exhausting. Tyler didn’t sit next to her. Instead he stood by the fire, hand on the marble mantel like the lord of the manor.