by Randa Lynn
After the game, I wandered off to the side to call Elli and tell her goodnight before she went to bed. As soon as I hang up, I see Cam standing right by me. “Creep,” I joke.
“Ha, ha! Fucker. It’s so good to see ya.” His words slur as sways drunkenly.
“Yeah, man. It’s been a while.”
He leans up against a tree, while I crouch down on the ground, picking at dead pine straw. “So where’s that little hottie, Court? That you used to date?”
Fuck me. I haven’t heard from her, or about her, in months. “She was certa-fucking-fiably insane. She was a good lay, but she wanted to move in after a few weeks. She said her only issue was Elli. I mean, damn, I never even let her around Elli because I didn’t think she was worth it, ya know?” I take the last swig of my beer before tossing it in the nearby trashcan. “I let her know real quick that Elli was the only thing I refused to ever compromise over. Needless to say, she’s probably found some other sorry son of a bitch. Thank God it ain’t me. I’m just glad I didn’t let Elli get attached to her stupid ass. That would have sucked.”
“Damn straight, bro,” Cam replies, slapping me on the shoulder. I guarantee he won’t remember any of this conversation tomorrow.
We bullshit outside for a while, and I make small talk with a few people I haven’t seen in years. After I let the alcohol wear off I decided to head home.
Once again, I’m twiddling with the pain in the ass piece of paper that holds Lenni’s number. I know I need to text her for an address. But why in the Sam Fuck am I so nervous? It’s for my daughter. She’s the one who was invited.
Right. It’s for Elli. Not me.
Why do I want it to be for me?
Fuck it, I’m texting.
Me: Hey. It’s Wes.
She texts back immediately.
Lenni: Oh hey! Didn’t think I’d hear from you.
Me: Surprise…?
Surprise? What man says that shit? I’m out of my element. I text girls, sure. But I’ve never texted one that’s got me so fucking worked up before. And why does she have me worked up when I’ve seen her three times. Three.
Lenni: I like surprises. So yeah my lake house is on Lakeshore Dr. 2nd driveway on the left. Easy peasy to find.
Me: What time do u want me to have her there?
Lenni: Any time after 11. Amber is pissy before then.
That doesn’t surprise me at all. The few brief moments I have spoken to her she’s been a force to be reckoned with.
Me: Sounds good. Elli is excited. Thanks for inviting her. She doesn’t do much girly stuff. Not my thing.
Lenni: Awe. We’ll have to fix that. ;) See ya then.
I text her back.
Me: later
Dammit to hell. I’m lying in bed, not able to get her off my mind.
Who is this girl? And what is she doing to me?
Chapter 6
LENNI
I stare down at my phone, dumbfounded. Scrolling through the texts from Wes and me just minutes ago, I yell at Amber from the living room, “Amber, I can’t believe you gave him my number!”
She waltzes in from the kitchen, a tub of ice cream in her hand, a spoonful in her mouth. “You saw that I gave it to him. Why are you acting all surprised?”
“Because! I didn’t think you’d actually give him the right number. You didn’t even ask me first,” I laugh.
“Let’s not pretend you’re sad about it. You can thank me later, I won’t mind.”
“Give me that.” I reach out for the ice cream.
“I don’t think so. Get your own.” She tucks the tub into her side. “Blue Bell and I have a monogamous relationship. Sorry.”
“You’re a freaking idiot,” I reply, flipping through the channel. I find Sweet Home Alabama and put it on. One of my absolute favorite movies.
We start watching the movie as Amber devours the ice cream in record time. She doesn’t share a single bite.
We get to the part where she’s showing the reporter around the house, locking them in a closet when I hear my phone ringing from the kitchen. I jump up and go answer it.
“Hi, Mom!”
“Hey, my Lenni Girl. How is it going down there?” Mom asks.
“It’s good. Amber and I are just relaxing, enjoying nature.” I laugh, “Well I am. Amber is tolerating it.”
“I can believe that,” she giggles.
I hear a ping come through, alerting me I have a message; I ignore it. “Did you call just to check in, or is something wrong?”
“Oh, no dear. I just wanted to call and check on my two favorite girls.” Her soft voice echoes through the phone. My mother has always been my soft place to land throughout my life, but especially recently. She was so understanding from the very beginning of my split with Ryan, even when I would close myself off.
“Oh, okay. Well everything is fine. We’re having a great time,” I assure her.
“Well, I’m glad. Your father and I love you, and we will see you when you get home.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Bye, dear.”
I hang up the phone and check my messages.
When I open up the message app I see Wes’s name. I anxiously open the text.
Wes: Hey. Elli’s grandparents want her to stay two nights so she is. Thank for inviting her, though.
My heart sinks a little. Why? I don’t know. This is crazy for me to be even a little sad about it.
Me: That’s okay. She’s welcome to come whenever she gets back. I don’t want to disappoint her.
I hit send, instantly regretting it. I sound desperate, and that isn’t my intention. I’m truly just trying to be nice. I don’t want to hurt an innocent child’s feelings.
My phone dings again.
Wes: She’d love that. Thanks.
Wes: How long are you in Fredricks for?
My eyes go wide, my heart races. Why does he want to know this? Oh my.
I respond.
Me: Until next week.
He responds almost immediately.
Wes: Nice. Hey, thanks for doing this. Elli is gonna be real excited. Even though I should have invited u for helping her at the lake that day.
I smile inadvertently as I type out my text.
Me: Well, you did save two stranded motorists, so I’d say I owe you.
Wes: Nah, just meeting you is reward enough.
Oh, my goodness. My cheeks hurt from smiling. Is he complimenting me? I’m not used to such a thing.
“What’s got you smiling like that?” I look up and see Amber leaning across the bar, trying to sneak a peek. I hadn’t even noticed her walk into the kitchen.
I smile. “Nothing much.”
“Lies.” She grabs the phone out of my hand. Her eyes go wide, mouth dropping. “Holy shit, Len, he’s totally flirting.”
“He’s just being nice,” I say, hoping I’m full of it. This flirting thing, it’s all so new. I’ve been so unsure of myself, unsure that anyone would ever find me worthy of getting to know. Now here Wes is, saying he’s glad he met me. Me of all people.
I just can’t fathom it.
“Lenora Jade, you’re a total fucking babe. Now, wipe those thoughts out of your head I know you’ve got right now. Smile, because that hot piece of ass likes you.”
I force a smile, still so unsure, so insecure with myself.
I hope she’s right. I hope he truly finds me worthy of getting to know better.
She hands me back my phone and I glance down at the screen. “Oh my God, Amber. What the hell? When is enough going to be enough with you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She walks off. “I’m going to shower!” she yells over her shoulder.
Me: Same here ;) I’m excited about seeing y’all ;). Come whenever you want!
Now she’s made me look like a smitten fool. I’m so embarrassed.
Me: I didn’t send that last text. It was Amber, I’m sorry.
The bubbles pop up on my phone, letting me
know he’s typing. My pulse races in nervous anticipation.
Wes: And here I thought u liked me. ;)
Me: No, I do like you!
Oh, crap. That’s not what I meant to say. I’m an idiot. I sigh, aggravated with my hasty decision.
Wes: Ditto. See u then. Night.
Oh, my goodness. The word ditto has never given me goose bumps before.
I grab my phone, head to my bedroom, and lay down. I type out a text.
Me: Goodnight.
I’m just about to sleep when I hear my phone ring. I roll over and grab my phone, swiping it, unable to read who’s calling from the sleep clouding my vision.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey.” My eyes pop wide. I sit up in my bed, my back against the headboard.
“Hi,” I say, knowing darn good and well I’ve just answered with hello. But I’m so stunned that he called me I don’t know what else to say.
“I know Elli isn’t gonna be home tomorrow, but I was thinking, maybe I could take ya out to eat or something? Just kind of a thank you for helping her the other day.”
Goosebumps blanket my skin, a nervous smile brushes across my face. “You want to take me out to eat? Like a date?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
I don’t know how to act. I can’t even remember the last date I went on. Much less the last time a guy gave me butterflies. One part of me wants to say no. Another part of me wants to say yes. I see a quarter laying on my nightstand. I quickly grab it. Heads I’ll say yes, tails I’ll say I can’t. I place the quarter on my thumb and flick it up in the air. It lands on the white down comforter. I look down. Heads up.
Butterflies swarm in my stomach. “Sure.”
“Sure,” he repeats.
I feel like I’m fifteen again, being asked on my first date. He’s reverting me back to a giddy high school girl.
“Alright. Since I have your address, I’ll pick you up around three. That sound good?”
“Yeah,” I respond.
“Looking forward to it. Night, Lenni.”
“Goodnight, Wes,” I say before hanging up.
I place the phone back on the nightstand, and I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
Chapter 7
LENNI
“I have no clue what to wear,” I whine, throwing clothes out of the closet.
Amber leans against the door frame looking amused. “Something sexy is always the answer.”
I roll my eyes and pick my brown strap sandals off the floor. “It’s not that kind of ‘date.’ It’s more of a ‘thank you for helping my daughter’ date,” I assure her.
She scoffs, “Whatever you say. But something sexy is still the answer.”
I reach for my beige, lace shorts and my light purple tank. I hold it up. “Does this look okay?”
“You kill me. But yes, you’ll look hot, as always.” She pushes off the door frame and heads back down the hall.
I throw on the outfit and stand in front of the floor length mirror, checking it over. I tug at my tank, dissecting how I look. I turn around, looking back over my shoulder, not happy with what I see. “Well don’t you look fucking ridiculous?” Ryan’s words echo, still etching themselves into my mind. I close my eyes, trying to make the memories go away.
I am not a product of his actions. I am not defined by his words. I repeat this mantra in my head until his words start to dissipate. I hate when I allow myself to let the memories of him derail all the emotional progress I’ve made in the last few months. I hate when I allow him to still have some sense of control over me.
I sigh as I look at the time on my phone. Wes will be here in less than twenty minutes. My nerves are starting to get the best of me.
I want to text him and tell him I’m not feeling well, because I’m terrified to go with him. Terrified that this will end in one huge disaster. I’m scared of opening myself up to someone again only to give them the power to hurt me.
“Ah, hum.” I look in the reflection of the mirror and see Amber watching me, sipping on water.
“Yes?” I ask.
“Why such a long face, Len?”
I put my face in my hands and shake my head. “I don’t want to do this.”
She walks closer to me and sits on the edge of the bed. “Just go, have fun. Get a free meal, enjoy company from someone that has absolutely no ties to your past. You came here to get away from Atlanta. Guess what? Wes isn’t from Atlanta, so there ya go.”
I sit down by her, leaning my head on her shoulder. “Why did I have to get so screwed over by Ryan that he’s made me gun shy over a simple, meaningless date?” Tears prick my eyes just by talking about it.
She slaps my leg. “Stop. Now.”
“You just don’t get it. And I’m glad you don’t because I wouldn’t wish emotional and physical abuse on my worst enemy. The scars don’t just go away because you finally got the courage to walk away. They stay long after the torment is over.”
She sits her water bottle down and wraps her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I just hate seeing you upset because of him. He doesn’t deserve to be the reason behind your tears.”
“I know,” I whisper, wiping under my eyes.
The doorbell rings and Amber jumps up. “Saved by the bell,” she laughs. “Come on. You’ve got a hot date tonight. No moping, you hear?”
She tugs at my arm, pulling me out of the bedroom. “I hear you.”
We get to the living room and I make my way down the entryway, pausing as I see the distorted image of Wes through the glass. I take a deep breath and open the door.
I have my eyes trained on the ground when I spot a pair of brown boots. My eyes work their way up his dark blue jeans, they travel over his turquoise button-up shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, before landing on his face. A smile spreads across his face as I catch him eyeing me.
He looks up at me. “Wow,” he breathes out. “You look beautiful.”
I blush, taken aback by his compliment. “Thank you,” I reply shyly, tucking my hair behind my ear.
“You ready?”
“Yeah.” I take a quick look back, seeing Amber giving a huge thumbs up, as I close the door.
He grabs my hand, sending a shockwave straight through me. “Let’s go.”
●●●●●
“Where are we going?” I ask from the passenger’s seat of his jacked up F-150.
He looks over at me for a second before looking back towards the road. “I could use a little fun, and I figured you could, too.” He grins at himself.
“Okay,” I laugh. “That’s not telling me where we’re going, though.”
He grins bigger. “Ever think back to your childhood and wish things were still that simple?”
I sigh. If only he knew how I wish things were still that simple. “All the time,” I reply.
“The other day Elli kept asking me about what I did when I was a kid, so it gave me an idea for our date.”
“Date,” I repeat, shocked. I don’t even realize I said it loud enough for him to hear until he says something.
“Well, I kind of thought it was a date,” he admits.
I shake my head disbelievingly. I didn’t expect him to see this as more than a friendly outing. I don’t see how he’d want to take me out when there are millions of women out there much more attractive than me, millions of women out there that don’t have emotional scars weighing them down.
“Hey,” he says. “You don’t have to act so surprised.”
I look up at him after suppressing my emotions. “Surprised about what?” I ask.
He looks at me and scoffs, shaking his head. “Surprised that I’d want to take you out on a date. You’re gorgeous, and have an amazing personality. Why wouldn’t I?” He looks over at me with such honesty. It’s a look I’m not used to.
I take a deep breath. “Thanks,” I reply timidly.
He shrugs, “I’m just telling the truth.”
I change the sub
ject, needing a lighter mood filling the cab of the truck. “So, where are we going?”
He reaches across the console and takes hold of my hand, sending chills throughout my body. “You’re about to see.”
He releases my hand to turn the radio up before placing my hand back in his. Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” plays through the speakers. “I love this song,” I say over the music.
He winks, causing the butterflies in my stomach to flutter at an unnatural pace. “Me, too.”
We finally make it to Tatum, a smaller city only a county over from Fredricks. We pull up to this gravel parking lot with a black tin building set in the center. I look around, my eyes connecting with a sign barely legible from years of being out in the sun’s harsh rays. “Roller Skating” is the only thing I can make out, and when I realize what we’re doing I half gasp, half laugh. “We’re going roller skating?” I ask excitedly.
Wes smiles, his dimples shining, making my knees weak without even standing. I don’t know why he’s having such an effect on me, but it seems like my every nerve ending, my every sense, is at a high when he’s around.
I don’t know what to make of it, but it seems the longer I’m around him the more I’m learning to let go of the built up tension I have, letting myself enjoy this moment. Enjoy him. Most of all, though, I’m learning to enjoy myself.
He opens up the center console, pulling out two pairs of socks, handing me one. “I got you a pair of socks. I hope that’s okay.” I smile, not knowing what to say over the simple, meaningless (to him) gesture. But this small gesture speaks volumes to me. I don’t know why, I can’t really explain it. I guess when you’ve spent such a huge part of your life living with a man who did nothing but cause you grief and pain, the simplest of things mean the most.
“Yes. Thank you,” I answer honestly. “I’m nervous.”
Opening his door, he steps out. “Don’t be,” he winks. “Wait right there.” He closes the door and in a flash, he’s on my side of the truck, opening my door and helping me down. When my feet hit the ground, my chest brushes against him, causing a shiver to go up my spine. I look up at him as he looks down at me with an intensity that I can barely handle. I clear my throat and stammer back against the truck. He laughs lightly and reaches for my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I hesitate before I place my hand in his. When I finally do, I’m not filled with unease like I expect. It feels… normal.