by Randa Lynn
“Daddy! It’s the lady from the lake and the food place.” I turn and see a little blonde haired girl running my way. I quickly meet her, not wanting her to get off the sidewalk. When she reaches me, she wraps her arms around my leg and squeezes tight. I feel a sense of warmth creep its way into my soul and wrap itself around my heart.
“Hi there pretty girl.” She’s wearing the same rubber boots she wore the other day. She’s also wearing an Elsa dress and a tiara, which is quite possibly the most adorable thing I have ever seen.
“Scooter, what did I tell you about running off from me?” I look up from Ellison and nearly lose all intelligible thought.
Holy hell.
He’s wearing faded jeans, a black t-shirt that hugs his muscular body, and the same Braves cap from the other day with aviators covering his eyes. I knew I felt a connection to him at the lake and at the diner, but I wasn’t expecting to feel an asinine amount of butterflies flying around in my stomach. I try to will them away, telling myself it’s useless, but it doesn’t work.
Wes removes his aviators from his face, throwing them atop his cap. His golden brown eyes lock dead on mine, causing me to shiver despite the warmth. In his deep, country accent he says, “Fancy seeing you again.”
“You too,” I reply, trying to sound much calmer than I feel. I can’t help but want to smile when I look at him, but I try my best not to.
“Sorry I kind of rushed it the other day at Deena’s. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I swear. We were meeting my sister for dinner, and I figured she would have been there soon, but as you saw, she was late.”
Sister. The girl from the diner isn’t his girlfriend.
Yes!
Inside, I’m doing a happy dance, but on the outside I’m remaining as cool as a cucumber.
“No need to apologize,” I reply.
Ellison pats my leg. “Miss, uh, Miss...What’s your name again?” She giggles, “I forgot.”
“It’s Miss Lenni, Scooter,” Wes says from behind her. He saying my name is the sweetest melody I’ve ever heard, a soulful sound. The deep husky tones send shockwaves through my nervous system.
“Oh yeah. Miss Lenni, can you come play with me one day?” Her eyes are so full of excitement.
I thought she was joking when she asked me at the diner, I thought nothing of it. But the puppy dog eyes she’s giving me right now tell me the exact opposite.
Before I have time to talk myself out of it, I kneel down in front of her.
“Why don’t you ask your daddy if you can come over one day and have lunch? He can tag along, too. You like chicken nuggets? I’m hoping you do, because I happen to make great chicken nuggets. Oh, and do you like cookies?”
With a glisten in her eye, she smiles that dimpled smile. “I love cookies! And I love chicken nuggets too, a whole, whole lot.” I guess if she shows up, I’ll be grilling and frying. But who am I to deny a child what she wants?
“Can I go, Daddy? Can I?” Ellison pleads excitedly.
“I don’t know, Scooter. I bet Miss Lenni has more important, grown up things she wants to do. You can’t do grownup things with a four year old. Plus, we’ve got plans for the rest of the day.” He ruffles her hair with his hands.
Seeing her face drop suddenly at Wes’s answer makes me a little sad. I can’t possibly hurt her feelings. I won’t do it. I answer quickly. “You know what, I think I’ve—“
“Nope! She’s got no grownup things to attend to today or tomorrow or the next day, and we’ve got chicken coming out of our asses, I mean, behinds. You can both come join us if you’d like,” Amber butts in.
I’m rendered speechless, my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
Ellison’s frown curves right back up into that beautiful dimpled smile of hers. “See Daddy? See? We can go!”
Wes stuffs his hands in his pocket, contemplating what to say. He stares at me, forehead creased. He’s biting the inside of his cheek, seemingly nervous.
“Of course you can!” Amber cheers as she picks Ellison up playfully. “And after lunch, maybe we can skip rocks.”
I know exactly what Amber is doing. She’s the least kid person I’ve ever met, and her willingly wanting to do something with Elli is quite comical. She’s trying to play Cupid. If it were up to her I would have found a new man long ago, cheating on Ryan if I had to. I would have never done it though. As much wrong as he did to me, I’d never be able to live with myself had I done that.
I guess now she sees this as her perfect opportunity to play match-maker.
Wes eyes me curiously. “You sure about this? We don’t want to interrupt any plans or anything.”
One part of me wants to tell him no, I’m not sure about this. But an even bigger part of me wants to jump out of my comfort zone and go for it.
I’ve got a limited time here before I head back home, so I really have nothing to lose. What can it hurt to spend a little time with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen?
Nothing. It would hurt nothing…
“Yeah, no, it’ll be nice. There’s a ton of toys in the playroom. My cousin’s little girl is around Ellison’s age and my parents stocked up for her.”
I’m losing my damn mind here.
Amber walks to her car and returns holding a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbles something on the paper and hands it to Wes. “Here’s Lenni’s number, in case you still want to come tomorrow. Or today. Whatever is fine by us, right Len?” She nudges me in the side.
Stunned like a deer in headlights, I barely squeak out, “Mm hmm.” Great. She just gave a guy my number. Not just any guy, but the guy who makes my stomach bubble in butterflies every time he’s mentioned. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost all sanity to even ogle over this man, and I’ve been in Fredricks for a few days.
I’m not sure if I want to kiss her or kick her in the lady balls.
Chapter 5
WES
I wasn’t expecting that little surprise when I stopped to get Scooter a reward for cleaning her room. I also wasn’t expecting an invitation to go eat, or Elli an invitation to go eat. I’m just the chauffeur in this situation, but I’ll take it.
I don’t know what it is about Lenni that’s so intriguing. I feel like there’s a wall around her so sturdy that even she doesn’t have access to it. I want to knock it down and see what’s behind that wall of hers.
She’s also fucking gorgeous. She’s got toned legs for days. Her smile is enough to knock the breath right out of any man, but it nearly knocks me on my ass. The things I could do….
Fuck me. I do not need to be thinking about her that way, and I sure as hell got no business entertaining the idea of what it would be like to be with her. Nope. I’ve been burned before and I can still smell the singe of the flames.
“Daddy, why can’t I go see Miss Lenni?” Elli whines from the backseat.
Peeking at her in the rearview mirror, I see her big blue eyes wide with wonder, waiting on me to answer. “Because, Scooter, you get to go stay with Granny and Papa Clark tonight.”
Selfishly, I’d rather her not. But it’s not about my wants, it’s about her needs. She needs a relationship with them. They’re good people, and they care about their granddaughter. I just hate knowing that one day Vanessa could show up and try to blow Elli’s world apart with utter confusion.
“Go to sleep, Daddy’s little angel. Shh, it’s okay. I’m here,” I whispered while I rocked my nine month old back to sleep. We were up and down all night. Vanessa took her for her vaccinations and she didn’t handle them well. I worked all day the day before in the coal mine, but she still expected me to wake up when Elli did.
It’s not like I minded; I never got enough time with her with my having to work all the time. I just wish Vanessa was willing to help more. She’s been off lately, and I don’t know why. I’ve given her everything she’s wanted. She wanted to get married when she found out she was pregnant, I worked my ass off to buy her a ring and I married her. She wanted a house, I worked my ass off t
o buy her a house. I’ve done everything in my power to make her happy, to make our family happy. There’s not much more I know to do.
I gently put Ellison back down in her crib, draped the thin flowered blanket over her and turned out the lamp. The night light illuminated the pink and purple lady bug themed nursery with a soft pink glow. Watching her sleep has always been a favorite of mine. The slow, methodic whisper of her breathing has grounded me since the day she was born. It’s always brought me back to the ‘why’ when I feel like life gets to be too much.
After watching her for several minutes I walked back into the bedroom to try to get a bit more sleep.
Instead of seeing my wife sleeping peacefully, I was met with Vanessa fully clothed and a suitcase gripped in her hand. I looked down at the suitcase, then back to her. “Going somewhere?”
Her blonde hair piled on top of her hair, she looked at me, eyes wide with fear? Sadness—? I’m not even certain what it was. “I, uh, I don’t know, Wes. I just can’t do this anymore.” She motioned around her with her free hand. “I thought I could, but I can’t. I, I’m sorry.”
Anger bellowed up in my soul, fighting rage poured out. Not for me, well yeah, a little for me, but mostly for my daughter. “You can’t do this?” I spat out. “You can’t do THIS? Our FAMILY? What about our daughter? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I seethed with fury. Pointing towards Ellison’s nursery, I continued with my spew. “That little girl in there is innocent and hasn’t done a damn thing wrong. But you’ve got your shit packed, ready to walk out the door. I fucking love you, Vanessa! I’ve given you everything you’ve ever wanted. You wanted to get married, we got married! You wanted this house, I got YOU this fucking house! What….” I couldn’t continue, my strength depleted before me like a thief in the night.
“I-I just need time. Time to figure out who I am, Wes. I wasn’t ready for this…”
“Ready for this?” I growled. “You think I was ready for this? I was twenty-two years old, never having a lick of responsibility in my life until you came to me with a positive pregnancy test. But you know what? You know fucking what? I grew up, because of that little girl,” I pointed towards Ellison’s room, “sleeping right in there. The little girl I just got to sleep for the tenth time tonight. She’s my life and I’d do anything for her. Anything! Would you, Vanessa?”
She stared, unmoving at me, with not an ounce of remorse or sorrow to her. I scrubbed my hands down my face, trying to calm the mayhem begging to release. I looked her dead in the eyes, not allowing a grain of the hurt I felt to be seen. “You know what? Take your shit and get the fuck out. But once you walk out that door, there ain’t no coming back, you hear me? We’ll be perfectly fucking fine without you!”
I moved from the doorway, allowing her room to exit.
I watched as the woman that vowed a lifetime to Elli and me walked away without another word.
“Daddy?” I hear Elli call from the backseat of my pickup, shocking me back to the here and now.
“Yeah, Scooter?”
“I was talking to you and you didn’t answer me. I said will Granny and Papa have ice cream?”
I can’t help it when a grin peeks at the corners of my mouth. All the problems in the world, and she’s oblivious to it all. I only wish I could keep it that way. But whether I like it or not, she’ll grow up one day. Nothing will prepare me for it. Nothing.
“We’ll have to see when we get there, baby girl.”
Pulling up to the Clark’s house, I always get a knot in my stomach. Vanessa’s parents have been nothing but supportive and kind to me since the night she left. But that doesn’t ease the discomfort I feel. I used to once call this place my second home. They were a part of my family, and even though they are still my daughter’s family, I haven’t been able to see them in the same light I used to, no matter how much I try. They will always side with their daughter when push comes to shove, and as much as Vanessa has hurt me, I don’t blame them. Because I know I would always side with Elli.
They’ve been great through everything, though. They’ve never once broken my trust or disrespected me with having Vanessa over while they had Elli. Not that she comes home often. Last I heard she was living in North Carolina somewhere. I couldn’t give a shit less, though. I care more about the Kardashians than her, and the Kardashians are a huge shit stain on the face of humanity.
“Give Daddy a bear squeeze.” I pick Elli up out of the truck and twirl her in a circle before she gives me her little bear cub squeeze.
“I love you, Daddy. Hand, heart. I’m with you in there,” she says holding her hand over her heart. We started that when she’d get sad having to stay without me. It reminds her that I’m not with her in person, but my heart is always there.
“I love you, Scooter. Hand, heart.” I kiss her forehead and walk her to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
●●●●●
Sitting in this house by myself is lonely. I usually only let her stay while I’m working, but they really wanted her tonight, so I caved. She needs time with her grandparents. I won’t deny them that.
I pick up my phone, holding the piece of paper Amber gave me earlier in my hand. Flipping it between my fingers, I consider texting Lenni. But I’ll seem desperate and like a huge fucking pussy. Nope, not that guy. I stuff the piece of paper back in my pocket and decide to call Cam instead.
“Yo,” Cameron answers on the second ring.
“Yeah, assface. Get a case and ride over.”
“Uh, yeah, okay. I got Richard at my pad right now and we’re playing some beer pong.”
“Alright. I’ll ride over there, then. Be there in thirty.” I hang up, throw on my Braves cap, grab my keys, and head out the door.
When I pull up to Cameron’s house there is way more than just him and Richard there. It looks like a used car lot out here. Topped with a raggedy trailer right in the center. I’ve told him he’s needed a new house for a while, but his response is, “I got my bed, shitter, and shower. I can sleep, shine, and fuck the same here as I can in some fancy ass mansion.”
Shaking my head at his stupidity, I walk up the dirty driveway and open up the door. The smell of smoke slams my senses as soon as I enter. Empty beer cans, bottles, and solo cups cover every flat surface.
The only furniture he has in his living room is a pool table and fold out chairs that line his wall. Three end tables are splayed around the living room. His TV is mounted on the wall, which I’m surprised is sturdy enough to hold its weight.
Some people I recognize, but don’t really care to make small talk with, are playing pool, so I meander through them towards the kitchen. Liquor bottles line the top row of cabinets, bottle caps scatter the countertop. I open his fridge to grab a beer and its slap full of nothing but alcohol. Only alcohol. Not a bit of food in sight.
Why am I even paying attention to the fact he doesn’t have food in his fridge? I am such a fucking Dad. I can’t help but laugh at how different my world is from Cam’s.
Walking out the back door, I spot Cameron and Richard playing corn-hole with Damien and Dee. I walk over to join them.
“Sup, man?” Dee greets me with a fist bump, and Richard follows suit.
“Didn’t expect to see you two. Thought y’all were both still in the military.”
Damien walks up, “Wes, my man! Didn’t expect us? We didn’t expect you. And naw, I’ve been out for a while, just moved back home, though. Dee just got out. How’s that little girl of yours?”
I guess he’s right. Seeing me at these parties is few and far between these days. Yeah, I’d like to do more things with the guys, having some time for myself, but I’d never dump Elli on someone just for that. It’s times when the Clarks have her that I find time to hang with the guys.
I’ll be the first to admit I miss it. I miss getting to be wild and free, without a care in the world. But what I do now, it trumps it all: making chocolate chip pancakes, drinking tea out of a princess teacup because Elli wants
to have a tea party. Yeah, I’d rather have one tea party with her than a hundred more drunken nights with these wild ass animals.
“She’s real good man,” I say kicking my feet in the dirt. “She’s almost five now. Crazy shit, huh? I’ve been a dad for almost five years.” I shake my head and smile. ‘Time flies.”
Dee pipes back in, “Still no Vanessa in the picture? Fuck, man, when I heard she jetted I was shocked. Y’all were perfect together.”
Dammit. Why does she always turn up in a topic of conversation? She’s in my past, and I’d like nothing more than to keep her there.
Cam comes over and pats Dee on the back, trying to avert the conversation. “So, how about we play some beer pong? Dee, it’s you and me against these two cocksuckers,” he says pointing to me and Damien.
Crunching empty beer cans with every step, we make our way over to his designated beer pong area. The surrounding trees are strung with white icicle lights. Benches border the area, because with Cameron Walker everything is a spectacle.
“Thanks, my man,” I tell Cam.
“No problem, bro. I got your back.”
He turns around and yells out, “Every one of y’all chorizo sucking, carpet munchin’ freaks, get your asses over here! We got a beer pong game a startin’ in five.” I’m pretty sure every resident in the county could hear his loud ass mouth.
Pointing to everyone, including the men, the drunk bastard yells, “Better saddle on up, ladies. I’m here to show y’all how a real man puts it in the hole.” He turns his bottle up and empties it.
This fucker is certifiable.
“Ladies first,” Cam slurs.
Damien shoots first, banking it in the far right cup. Cameron shoots the drink back and throws the empty solo cup to the side. I aim next, hitting it straight in the front cup. Dee chugs that one. Cameron and Dee both shoot, missing their targets.
Damien and I end up winning the beer pong game. It really wasn’t a competition. Cam was already three sheets to the wind, so he was seeing three of everything, and Dee was too busy laughing his ass off at Cam’s drunken antics to shoot straight.