by Randa Lynn
Lenni laughs as she walks over to me. “I never would have thought you liked baseball. Let me guess, your favorite team is the Red Sox?”
Jokes. Girl has jokes. “Over my dead body. Braves all day, baby.”
She rolls her eyes and turns her nose up in disgust. “Baseball is so boring.”
I’m appalled and plan on tickling her ass into taking that statement back. “What. Did. You. Say?” I smile through clinched teeth.
Her eyes widen and her mouth drops as I brace myself to chase after her. “I’ll count to three, then I’m coming after you. So you better get to movin’. There is punishment for saying such words to me. Baseball is life.”
Lenni squeals then takes off running around the outside kitchen. I don’t even make it to three before I take off after her. I close the gap between us in a few short strides, but taking a good look at her ass, I think better of it and slow down to enjoy the view. Seeing it bounce with every step she takes is taunting me. I must appreciate the finer things in life, and that is definitely one of them.
Dammit, Lenni, you’re killing me.
She suddenly stops and turns around to look at me from across the patio furniture that separates us. I’m caught red handed checking her out. “Were you looking at my butt?” she asks with a cocked eyebrow.
I can’t help it. The way she asked it, seemingly terrified to know the answer, makes me smile like the Cheshire fucking Cat. “Guilty. If you don’t want me to, I’d suggest you wear a muumuu dress or something next time. A nun outfit would work, too. Maybe a potato sack.”
She lets out an uncomfortable chuckle. It confuses me how someone so gorgeous can have an ounce of self-consciousness. The way she always looks down when she is given a compliment beats all I’ve ever seen. It’s like it completely shocks her that anyone would see anything good or beautiful about her.
I’ve got no time to help bring her out of that shy little shell she’s wrapped up in because I notice smoke hammering from the grill. I run over to it and throw the lid open. Flames shoot out in a blazing fury. “Water, Lenni!”
She brings me water quickly, and I douse the flames and wave away the smoke with my hands. I think there’s only one casualty with the chicken. The vegetables would have been toast had she not wrapped them in tin foil.
“Oh my God. Oh. My. God.” Lenni’s cheeks turn three shades of red. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin the food. I don’t think I cooked enough nuggets to feed more than just Ellison. Shit!”
“You didn’t ruin anything. There might be a piece of chicken that is a little, um, charred, but I’ve always liked it that way. Consider it mine.” A smirk plays at the corner of my mouth.
“This is completely embarrassing. I’m so sorry.” She buries her head in her hands, hiding her embarrassment from me.
I walk a few steps closer and grab her wrists, gently pulling her hands from her face. Keeping her hands in mine, I insist, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. It’s chicken. You should, however, apologize for saying baseball is boring. That is inexcusable.” I laugh.
She laughs and shakes her head. “I’m an idiot. I knew I should have just made spaghetti. I can brown hamburger meat and boil noodles like a boss. I can pour spaghetti sauce in there like you’ve never seen.”
Watching her blabber is cute as hell. I love how she’s real. She’s not trying to be perfect or fake. She’s just being Lenni, and I like it. A lot. A lot more than I should.
She continues. “You know, I don’t even like chicken that much. I’d prefer steak. Medium well. God, my mouth is watering thinking about it. There’s a hole-in-the-wall restaurant Dad always takes me to, they make the best steaks ever. Mmm.”
I can’t not mess with her. She left the gate wide open for me. “You’ve never had my steak,” I jest.
Her eyes bulge out of her head and her jaw drops. Covering her eyes with her hand, she laughs out, “Oh. My. God.” The redness on her cheeks from before darkens and rises further up her cheeks.
She peeps at me between her fingers then drops them to her side. Staring at me, she subconsciously pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth. That small act alone causes me to get hard. This woman is doing crazy things to me. I’m in so much fucking trouble.
A strand of hair falls in her face. I reach up and gently place the fallen strand behind her ear. Simply grazing a part of her body with mine sends a spark through me just like it did last night. I don’t know what to do with sparks. I’ve never had sparks.
My body reacts on its own accord. I bring my hand down to her face, lightly strumming my thumb over her bottom lip, daring her to release it from the hold of her teeth. When she does, she drinks in a big gasp of air. I’d stop, but this move is already in play and I’m no quitter. I bring my face down and the sweet smell of coconut attacks me. She’s watching me, eyes wide. Grabbing her chin with my thumb and forefinger, I lightly press my lips to hers. A faint moan escapes her lips.
“Daddy! I’m really hungry!” Lenni quickly jumps back, embarrassed by nearly being busted by a four year old. Elli runs around the kitchenette area to me. I scoop her up in my arms and give her a little “boop” on the nose. “Food is ready. Let’s go wash your hands.”
Walking to the back door, Lenni calls out to me, “Bathroom is the second door down the hallway on your right!” I nod my head and offer her a wink.
I can still taste her lip gloss on my lips. Damn, cherry just became my favorite flavor.
Chapter 10
LENNI
I was zoned out throughout lunch, preoccupied with my own thoughts. One simple kiss has reverted me back to a sixteen year old giddy girl. That is not me. His gentle kiss still has my lips tingling. It’s a sensation I’m not accustomed to.
I’ve never believed in happenstance, but right now I’m beginning to wonder if it really exists. I never expected this. I never expected to meet a stranger who would end up causing me to feel the way he does. I can feel myself starting to fall for him. I’m not naïve enough to think I can go from just meeting someone to seriously liking them in less than two weeks, but I’d also be lying to myself if I said I didn’t feel anything.
Wes has made me feel nothing but beautiful. He’s been nothing but kind, and last night he made me feel like the most important person, like he was thinking about nothing else but me. I feel my shell starting to crack, and all the self-doubt that has encompassed me for the longest time is slowly dissipating.
“That was really good, Miss Lenni. Best nuggets I ever had. Even beat McDonald’s, and I love McDonald’s.” Ellison rubs her belly; we all burst out in a fit of laughter.
I provide myself a little pat on the back. “If they were better than McDonald’s then my job here is done.”
She runs up to me and I scoot my chair out. She jumps in my lap and I instinctively wrap my arms around her. She lays her head on my chest, the smell of bubblegum shampoo fills the space. I can suddenly feel a piece of my heart being taken by this little girl. For a child who’s got so much missing from her life, she’s the sweetest, happiest little girl in the world. It’s because she has an incredible father.
Wrapping her arms around my neck, she does her best at giving me a bear hug. “Thank you, Miss Lenni.”
I take a deep breath, choking back the lump in my throat. “Anytime, sweet girl.”
I move my eyes towards Wes from the other side of the round dining table and notice him staring at me apprehensively. I give him a shy smile. His eyes seem to be torn between fear and wonder.
I’d be dishonest if I said I didn’t feel the same. I’ve endured my own set of pain, and that was one time too many.
“You think you can just leave me, walk out this door and forget everything I’ve done for you?” Ryan seethed from the other side of bathroom door. “If there weren’t ten people downstairs I’d barrel this damn door in and show you what the fuck you’re going to do.”
I cried silently, tears soaking my blouse. I refused to let him hear me break down, to let
him know he’d gotten to me—again. Last week was the last straw for me. I refused to ever be physically hurt by Ryan Hastings again. I’ve hated staying for any longer, but I had to make sure my loose ends were tied down before leaving him for good.
“When I get back from entertaining these colleagues and send them home, your ass better be in bed. I’m not putting up with this shit. You’ve already made me look like a fucking prick when you told everyone you were sick. I knew you were lying, and they did too.” He slammed his fists against the cherry oak of the door, causing me to jump in terror.
A few moments later I heard the bedroom door shut.
Heart beating out of my chest, I rushed to the closet, gathering everything I could fit into my Louis Vuitton suitcase. I grabbed my phone and charger off the nightstand, shoving it into my purse. A picture of Ryan and I set atop the nightstand. I picked it up, seeing how unhappy I truly looked. How miserable the smile on my face looked reiterated the fact that what I was doing was the right thing…for me.
After filling my suitcase, I picked it up, and crept down the stairs leading to the back of the house, staying hidden from Ryan. I grabbed my keys out of my purse, fumbling with them for far too long. When I finally grasped them I hit the key fob, opening the door, and threw my suitcase in the back of my Jeep.
Driving out of the driveway, I looked back and saw Ryan standing outside, kicking at the concrete drive as he yelled into the night sky.
I still feared him, but I didn’t let that fear control my emotions. I was elated.
I did it. I finally escaped my own personal hell.
I shudder at the memory. I hated myself for staying in an abusive relationship and subjecting myself to Ryan’s cruelty day in and day out. But when you’ve lived with the devil, hell starts to feel like the only place you belong. But I made a vow and decided to love myself enough to leave him, choosing my dignity over his dynasty. As hard as it was, that was the best decision I ever made.
“Hey,” Wes whispers as he kneels down directly in front of me. I look around the room. Amber has made her way to the kitchen. My goodness, I was completely lost in my thoughts.
“Are you okay?” he asks genuinely.
Embarrassed, I gently set Ellison down from my lap and turn my head not wanting anyone to see the pitiful tears that have welled up in my eyes.
Ellison sees Amber holding the tray of cookies and runs over towards her. ”Cookies!” she cheers, grabbing one for each of her tiny hands.
Wes looks at me compassionately. His fingers lightly brush the back of my hand, sending shivers to my very core. Goosebumps involuntarily form on my exposed skin. Lifting one hand, he tucks my hair behind my ear. “Lenni, look at me,” he whispers.
After a long pause, I succumb to his plea and look into his tender, golden eyes.
Before either one of us gets a chance to continue, Amber calls from the kitchen, “Ellison and I are going to skip rocks at the lake while you two clean up.”
“Yeah, Daddy! You clean and we can play,” Ellison yells to Wes as they’re walking out the door.
The air in the room suddenly becomes thick, layered with intense earnestness. Wes’s hands haven’t left me since he knelt in front of me. I find comfort in his touch, a comfort I haven’t felt in years. Or maybe ever.
I blink back the tears, refusing to let him still have power over me.
“You’re looking away from me again,” he states matter-of-fact.
I hadn’t even realized I’d turned away again. “I’m sorry,” I say with a light laugh, trying to break the tension.
His brows crease as he looks up at me through his thick, dark lashes. His golden brown eyes are speaking to me more than any words ever could. You don’t have to hide from me.
I continue before he can say anything else, feeling like I need to explain the sudden shift in my mood. “I’m sorry, I just had a flashback to a past I’d rather forget. I’m okay, I promise.”
Wes slowly glides his hand up my arm and over my shoulder, gently grazing my face before he slides his hand behind the nape of my neck. I’m frozen, stuck in his trance. My heart has never raced like this before.
As he skates his thumb back and forth along the side of my neck, he brings his mouth down to mine. I can feel the heat as the scent of sandalwood wraps around me. He intoxicates me with his touch. I get lost in him, in this moment. I kiss him back, wanting to feel him, needing to feel him and the comfort he brings. He parts my lips with his tongue and I accept. His tongue caresses for a mere second before he continues with a reverent force. I’m lost in the beauty, in the sincerity, of his kiss.
Slowing the kiss, he cups the side of my face. I relish the moment. He slowly pulls away, never releasing his hands from my face. My lips are left tingling, wanting more of his touch.
He leans his forehead on mine. “I’ve been dying to do that since the moment I saw you carrying my Scooter at the lake. That half a second earlier wasn’t enough,” he admits.
My breathing is deep, goose bumps still ever-present. I breathe out a small laugh. “I’ve been dying for you to kiss me like that since last night.”
He smirks, “I knew I should have just kissed you then.” We remain still for a few moments before he looks up at me with a serious tone. “Lenni, you’re beautiful.”
Those three words, three simple words, cause my heart to still, and my breathing to cease. I couldn’t tell you the last time someone uttered those words to me. But how can he say that and really mean it? He doesn’t even know who I am.
“You don’t even know me,” I whisper.
Wes stands up, holding out his hand for me to take. I do so willingly.
“I know you enough. Come on,” he demands.
Having no clue what he’s doing, I’m at his mercy. He leads me down the hallway and my heart starts strumming against my chest. Then…he turns into the bathroom. I follow him, clueless as to what we are doing.
He inches closer to me. My breath hitches in my throat from his close proximity. He lightly grabs my shoulders, turning me so I’m facing the mirror.
“Okay…I’m a little, no, a lot confused,” I admit, eyeing him in the mirror. There’s really no rationalization to the madness that’s happening right now.
“Look straight ahead,” Wes instructs.
Confused, I reply, “Okay?”
I do as he says and stare at myself in the mirror, hating what I see. My hair is a mess, my face isn’t as smooth as it should be, and I know underneath my clothes is where faint stretch marks from puberty mar my hip bones.
Wes stands directly behind me, hands on my hips. Bending down, he whispers in my ear, “Now, tell me what you see.”
Uninvited tears well in my eyes, threatening to fall over. Staring back at me is everything I don’t want to see. I’m a broken pile of glass. Once beautiful, full of splendor. Now, I’m emotionally shattered, and I fear the pieces will never fit back together. I blink, looking away from myself and stare into his eyes from the reflection in the mirror. “I see me.”
Shaking his head, he lets out a breathy laugh. He turns me to where we’re facing chest to chest. My breathing grows heavier, my heart thumps rapidly. I lift my eyes to meet his stare. Wes reaches up and runs the pad of his thumb along my lips, leaving a tingling in its wake.
“Who are you, Lenni? The real you. Tell me.”
Looking into his eyes, I search for an ounce of indifference, but I see none. I’m nervous about opening up. Terrified about letting him have a glimpse of me. But at this point, I’ve got nothing to lose. I came here to find myself and maybe this will help.
“I’m a girl who is tired of pleasing everyone else. A girl who wants to live life for her. I’m a girl who’s lost the person she’s supposed to be. Life ruined me and I’m scared I’ll never be able to repair the damage.”
A long bout of silence fills the small bathroom. Wes stares at me intently, studying me. “I’m pretty good at reading people,” he smiles. “Wanna know what I see?” Unable to
form a reply, I simply respond with a nod.
“I see a woman who doesn’t know a damn bit of what she’s worth. I know pain, I’ve swam in that shit. But you, you’re drowning in it. I don’t know what’s happened in your life, or who has happened,” he grabs my chin between his fingers, forcing me to keep eye contact with him, “but they’re not worth it. You’re fucking gorgeous, and not just on the outside. Wanna know how I know?”
He never gives me an opportunity to answer before he continues. “I saw the way you cared for my little girl when she was hurt. I saw how kind you were to her at Deena’s. I saw how you made her eyes light up when you invited her over, and when you calmed her down last night.” He inhales a big breath as he lets go of my chin and scrubs his hands up and down his face. The air becomes thick with resolution. “You’ve shown more compassion to Elli than her mother ever thought about showing her, and you had no reason to. That tells me more than words ever could. Give yourself more credit, Lenni. The scars of our past only stay if we let them.”
He lightly grabs the side of my face and places a kiss on my forehead. Without another word he leaves me standing in there, completely speechless.
I have no clue how he knew exactly what had bothered me. Am I that easy to read or is he just that perceptive? I don’t know. I feel like he’s reached inside the found the part of me I try to keep locked away.
But he’s right. It’s up to me if I let my past continue to control what happens with the rest of my life.
But that’s easier said than done.
I walk back into the kitchen after ten minutes of gathering my composure. The table and kitchen are both spotless. I see Wes leaning back on the counter, arms propped behind him and his feet crossed at the ankles.
“Hey.”
He stands up straight and turns to meet me, stare for stare. “I’m sorry if I came on strong back there. But I’m gonna cut the shit here and say what I feel. Ready?” I give a slight nod in response. “You’re somethin’ special. I don’t know what it is about you, but I’d like to know.” He takes his cap off and scratches his head. “I know I’ve got a kid, and I know that shit is scary for people,” he pauses, lowering his tone. “I’m about to ruin this.”