Always

by Randa Lynn

  I grab a condom out of the pocket of my swim trunks. “I wasn’t expecting anything, but I was hoping,” I admit, ripping the package open.

  Surprising the hell out of me, Lenni grabs the condom, situates it over the head of my cock and slides it down my length, sending a chill down my spine. She lays back down with her hair fanned around her head like an angel’s halo. Most beautiful angel I’ve ever seen.

  I slowly enter her, relishing in the feel of her tightening around me. “You feel that? Feel what you do to me, Lenni?”

  “Mmm hmm,” she squeaks out, closing her eyes.

  “Look at me, Lenni,” I demand.

  Her eyes flutter open and a smile peeps across her face. I still above her, wanting her to not only hear, but feel what I’m about to say. “Forget anyone who’s made you feel less than perfect. Because the only thing you are is perfect.” I bend down and lay a feather-light kiss on her lips. “Every,” kiss, “inch,” kiss, “of,” kiss, “you.” I continue to stroke, memorizing her scent, her moans, her body, and ingraining myself into her soul with each thrust I make. I bury myself inside of her until we both come apart simultaneously underneath the stars.

  I run my fingers through her long, brown hair, enjoying just laying here with her in silence. I look up at the stars, listening to the peaceful noise of the night, and thank every lucky star that this woman walked into my life. I’m not sure what the hell has happened since I’ve known her, but whatever it is, I know it’s changed me. She’s changed everything.

  Chapter 13

  WES

  “Wes, where the hell are your disinfectant wipes?” Zoe comes around the corner of the kitchen as she brushes the hair out of her face with the back of her hand.

  “I don’t know. Under the sink would be the logical place to look.” I finish wrapping the vacuum cord up and stick it in the hallway closet as Zoe huffs off back into the kitchen.

  “It’s not there!”

  I walk back into the kitchen and open the cabinet underneath the sink. Sitting directly behind the dishwashing detergent are the disinfectant wipes. Imagine that shit. I pick it up and toss it on the countertop. “It’s amazing what you can find if you look.”

  Z snatches it off the counter. “You’ve been a huge asshole lately. Better change your attitude before I quit cleaning for you.”

  I grab a beer out of the fridge and twist the cap off, taking a swig. “You offered, and I’m paying your ass, so be my guest and stop. Means I won’t have to fork over this money.”

  She rolls her eyes at me then starts wiping down the countertop.

  That’s what I thought.

  I throw the shoes in the laundry room, not feeling like taking them all the way back into the bedroom when I hear my phone going off.

  “Daddy!” Elli hollers, the ringing getting louder with each passing second. She flies to me as fast as her feet allow and shoves the phone in my hand. “Your phone is loud. Answer it.”

  I look at the screen and see that it’s Lenni calling. “Thanks, Scooter.”

  I turn to Zoe, who’s giving me a knowing look. I don’t have to say anything, she just nods her head towards the door. “I got Elli. Answer it.”

  I rush outside and answer the phone. It’s not like I’ve been going crazy for the past week that she’s been gone or anything. “Hello?”

  “Hey!” Lenni’s voice is smooth and sweet, and it makes me smile like a shit eatin’ possum. How the hell do I miss her this much?

  “What’s up?” I ask, trying to sound calmer than I feel.

  I can hear her breath muffling the phone, and it makes me wonder what she’s been doing. What she’s wearing. If she has that lip gloss on. Shit. “I was just taking a break from work, and you were on my mind so I thought I’d call and talk for a second.”

  Dammit, why does she have to go and say shit like this? It makes me want to load Elli up and head straight to Atlanta. Who cares if people are coming over in a few minutes or not?

  “Well ain’t that sweet? I’ve been thinking about you, too. You’re working on a Saturday evening?” I question.

  “Unfortunately, I don’t always get the privilege of resting on weekends. Especially when a huge court date is imminent,” she replies. I can hear what I think is a hint of sadness in her voice. I’m no expert in the female language, but I’m also no idiot.

  “You alright? You sound a little down in the dumps.”

  A small laugh floats through the phone, and it sounds like heaven. “No, I’m okay. I just kind of wish I could have come back to the lake house this weekend instead of working.”

  Me too. Me. Too. “Yeah. It sucks, but maybe we can get together soon. I’m missing ya. Elli is, too. She can’t stop talking about Miss Lenni and her friend.”

  “Awe. Tell her I miss her too.” She pauses for a moment. “And I miss you. I really can’t explain what our time together meant to me. You are amazing.”

  She thinks I’m amazing, but little does she know she’s made this old heart of mine come alive again. I wasn’t looking for a damn thing when I saw Lenni at the lake that day. But it seems that fate always has a way of giving us exactly what we need when we least expect it.

  “Naw. You’re the amazing one.” I hear the gravel crunching in the driveway and the roar of an engine getting closer. My head snaps up just as Damien’s black Tahoe comes into view. “Hey, Damien is here. We’re grilling and stuff at the house. I gotta go. I’m sorry.”

  “No. It’s okay. You go have fun. Tell everyone I said hello, and tell Elli I haven’t forgotten about her.” Lenni rushes the words out like it pains her to have to go. Shit, it pains me too.

  “Yeah, I’ll tell everyone, and I’ll let Elli know. I’ll text you later if ya want.”

  She replies softly, “Yeah, I’d love that. I’m glad I got to talk to you. Bye, Wes.”

  I nearly hang up, but for some strange reason, I feel like I need to say a little more than just ‘bye’ and end the call, so I don’t. “Hey, Len?”

  “Yeah?” she breathes out.

  “I miss that gorgeous face of yours. And promise to wear that lip gloss of yours next time I see you, alright?”

  She laughs and it sends a jolt to my heart. It’s the sweetest, most soulful laugh I’ve ever heard, and I could listen to it all day and never get tired of it. “I promise.”

  “Bye, beautiful.”

  As soon as I hang up the phone, Cam and Damien hop out of Damien’s Tahoe.

  “Sup, fucker?” Cam walks over, popping the top on his beer.

  “Hey, man.” I turn my gaze to Damien’s Tahoe. “What you ridin’ bitch for in Dame’s ride?”

  Cameron shoves me on the shoulder. “Dude, shut that fucking mouth of yours. The only ‘bitch’ I ride are the ones with two legs and a nice set of racks.”

  “Daddy, what is he talking about?” I turn around to see Elli. Her nose scrunched up and her mouth puckered out in confusion. Oops.

  I pick up my daughter and smooth her wild hair down with my hands. “Oh, he’s just being Uncle Cam. I think we might need to wash his mouth out with soap if he keeps saying ugly words.”

  She giggles and throws her arms around my neck. “I think so.” She pushes back from me a little and looks at Cameron. “I think you shouldn’t say bad words. Daddy says them sometimes, but he always says ‘I’m sorry.’”

  Cam walks up and grabs Elli from my arms and twirls her around, never spilling a lick of beer. “I’m sorry, Elli. Forgive Uncle Cam, please?”

  She pokes her tongue out at him. “Okay! But next time I ain’t.” She kicks her legs. “Now, let me down, please.”

  He pecks a kiss on her forehead then lets her down. Elli runs off back towards the house, but pauses and swirls back around to face me, her purple and blue dress twirling with her. “Daddy, was that Miss Lenni that called you? Aunt Zoe said it was.”

  She just had to bring that up, didn’t she? Now I’m going to have to deal with Cameron and Damien busting my balls about it. “Yeah,
Scooter, it was. She said she hasn’t forgotten about you.”

  The smile on her face is enough to make me weak in the knees. She’s smiling so big that her eyes are fully shut, her dimples shining brighter than I’ve ever seen. “Yay! I miss her, Daddy. Can we go see her?”

  “We’ll see her soon,” I reply.

  She turns back around and runs into the house.

  I don’t want to turn back to Damien and Cameron because I know they’ll give me shit about it, but if I stand here with my back to them much longer, they’ll know I’m trying to ignore them. That’ll make it worse, so I turn my ass back around to face them. Cam’s eyes are narrowed in on me knowingly, and Damien’s smiling like a banshee.

  “If you two son-of-a-bitches got something to say, spit it out or wipe that look off your faces,” I snap.

  “Alright, fucker.” Cameron grins. “I see Lenni wasn’t just a one hit wonder, yeah? So tell me, when is she coming back down and bringing that blonde friend of hers?”

  I ignore him, not about to add to his already fucking out of this world ego. I’m hoping that this conversation switches to waters other than Lenni. I miss her so much, but I don’t want to talk about her with these two. They don’t get it. They’re all about hit it and quit it. Not me, not with Lenni. She’s different, so fucking different.

  “For real, what’s up with you and Lenni?” Damien asks, running his fingers through his hair.

  I inhale the early May air. “I don’t know. I’m really digging her. It’s just that she’s three hours away, and that kinda makes shit hard. Ya know?” I take the last swig of my beer and throw it in the trash can.

  “Well, that sucks, my man. Maybe y’all will figure some shit out. She seems like a real good girl,” Damien replies.

  “Yeah. She is.” And fuck, is she? She’s constantly on my mind. I want to feel her skin against mine. I need her lips brushing against mine. I want that coconut smell invading my senses. That perfect smile of hers is still ingrained in my memory. Every time she smiles it’s like it’s the first time she’s truly ever smiled. I know life hasn’t given her much of a reason to, but dammit she deserves to have nothing but a smile on her face.

  That half of my mind is screaming to be with Lenni, shouting that she’s unlike anyone else on this earth. The other half is throwing the memories of when Vanessa left in my face. Those memories still hurt when I stop and think about it.

  A piece of my fucking heart left the day Vanessa walked out, and even though it’s been four years and my heart is now back in its rightful place, it still stings. I might be a big tough guy on the exterior, but even tough guys can feel wrecked on the inside.

  “Wes, the steaks are waiting for you!” Zoe calls from the back door, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I go to get the steaks from the house, but Damien stops me. “I got it, man.” He jets off to the house like he’s running a race.

  What the hell is up with that?

  Cam walks over to me and slaps his arm over my shoulder. “Dude, seriously. Invite Lenni back so she’ll bring Amber. That girl is a damn goddess in the sack. I ain’t ever seen nothing like her.” He takes a gulp of his beer and smirks. “And that’s the fucking truth.”

  I can’t help but laugh at the dumb son-of-a-bitch. He’s never gonna change. He’s always gonna have that one track mind, and that’s screwing as many chicks as he possibly can.

  Me, I just wish I could have one.

  ●●●●●

  LENNI

  “Hey Len. I’m running to Starbucks to grab a latte. Want one?” I look up from going over my case. Amber is leaning against the door frame with her blonde hair in a messy ponytail, workout clothes on, and skin glistening with sweat.

  “Sure. But why are you going to get a calorie-filled drink when you just got done working out?” I bite the cap of my pen, waiting for her to answer.

  She usually never bothers me when I’m downstairs in my office, knowing that I only come in here when I have a big case coming up, so I’m not really sure why she’s in here now. She folds her arms across her chest and cocks her head to the side. “You’ve been mighty quiet the past couple of days.”

  I pop the pen out of my mouth. “No, I haven’t. But way to ignore my question.”

  She pushes off the door frame and walks over to my desk and places her hands on the corner and leans closer. “I work out so I can eat and drink what I want. You know this. Now, I’m going to get you a coffee, and you’re going to take a break from work so we can drink our Starbucks and spend a little QT together. Mkay?”

  She walks back towards the door, and heads out, leaving me in my office alone.

  I flip through papers, scroll through the computer, trying to get back into my work flow, but it’s useless. Everything is blurring together. With every scan of my eyes across the screen and papers, I find myself getting cross-eyed. I close my laptop and put my files back into my briefcase. I hate briefcases. They’re so ugly. Whoever created them didn’t have females in mind—that I’m sure of.

  I lean back in my chair and look around at my office. It’s dull with tan walls adorned with an over-priced painting that I never would have bought myself. My mother is not on the same decorating wave-length as I am, but when I moved into the townhouse after I split with Ryan she thought she needed to get me a gift. I couldn’t not accept it, no matter how hideous the abstract woman was. So I stuck it in my office where no one ever ventures. I figured it would be the safest place to put it without hurting her feelings.

  I see my phone on the corner of my desk and grab it. I unlock it and hover over the message button. I want to text Wes, but I don’t want to seem desperate or needy.

  I don’t think he gets just how perfect the time I spent with him was. I never in a million years would have thought I would have come across someone as amazing as Wes, let alone in a small town like Fredricks. But he came in and completely swept me off my feet. My defenses crumbled, and the dark cloud that’s loomed over me for so long started to disappear with every second I was with him.

  The night he took me to the spot on the lake was by far the best night of my life. He made me feel perfect, despite my flaws. In that moment, I forgot about all the horrible things I endured at the hands of Ryan, and only saw good, happiness. I want to feel that way every day. I just wish it were possible. I don’t know how I’d ever begin to make a relationship work when we’re three hours from each other and light-years apart when it comes to how our lives are.

  What I do know is that I get butterflies when I see his name pop up on my phone. I get a huge smile on my face when I talk to Elli on the phone or we Face Time. Seeing her sweet little dimples are the best parts of my day. I don’t know how her mother walked away from her. Just two weeks is all it took for her to wrap me around her little finger.

  I’m just so conflicted. If I don’t give this a fighting chance I could, quite possibly, be letting the only man who makes me feel alive slip through my fingers. But, if I do give this a chance, I’m at risk to have my heart completely broken, and I’m not sure I can go through that again.

  My phone starts vibrating in my hand, startling me. I click the message and see Wes’s name scrolled across the top. My heart flutters right along with the butterflies that have formed in my stomach.

  Wes: I was serious about that lip gloss.

  Oh my goodness. One text from him and I’m mush. I promise I’ll never go a day without wearing my lip gloss ever again.

  Me: I promised, didn’t I?

  He responds almost immediately.

  Wes: That u did. I hope I can see ya soon.

  I don’t know how to reply to that, much less react. I spent four years with a man who couldn’t wait to get me out of his sight, who made me feel as if I were the bane of his existence. Four years where a fake smile plastered on my face became the norm. But this—a real, genuine smile—is something I could get used to. I just need to figure out if the risk of heartbreak is worth the chance at happiness.
r />   Me: I do, too.

  As soon as I set my phone down it buzzes again. I hope it’s Wes, but am left disappointed when I see Amber’s name roll across my phone.

  Amber: Saw an old friend on the way. He wants to get a drink, so I’m going. Don’t wait up.

  Great. Now I’m sitting here with nothing but Wes on my mind, and no one to help keep my thoughts away from him. Honestly though, I’m not even sure I want to be thinking about anything else.

  I am in so much trouble over this man.

  Chapter 14

  WES

  It’s been three weeks since I saw Lenni. Three weeks since I’ve felt her body on mine, three weeks since I smelled that sweet coconut smell. Three weeks of feeling like something was missing in my life.

  I thought time would make missing her go away, make the new wear off. But, if anything, it’s only made me miss her more.

  We’ve both been so busy lately that finding more than a few minutes to talk on the phone is few and far between. She has a big case she’s been working on and I’ve been working a lot of overtime the past two weeks to pay for Elli’s birthday present.

  She has been begging for a playhouse, and I won’t disappoint. It’s been bought, now I’m just waiting on it to be delivered. My little Scooter is going to freak out when she sees it. Probably more than I freaked out when I priced it. Shit is outrageous these days.

  “Daddy! I got one. Look,” Elli yelps, jerking a tiny little brim out of the water.

  “Ah, Scooter! Look at you. You’re out-fishing Daddy today,” I answer, bending down to remove the fish from the hook. Her blue eyes are shining with pride as she watches me unhook it.

  “He’s a baby, Daddy. Can we put him back in the water?” she questions, brushing the stray hair out of her eyes. I tried fixing it this morning, but I have yet to master the art of putting hair in a ponytail. It started falling out of the holder before we ever left the house. Apparently, I need to watch more YouTube videos on how to do hair.