by Randa Lynn
I tuck my shirt in to my jeans and situate my belt. Lenni tried to get me to wear a tux, but I told her there was no way in hell I’d be caught dead in a penguin suit. It’s not like this thing is formal, anyways. So we compromised with an orange button up and nice jeans with my ‘clean’ boots.
I comb my hair and make sure my beard looks good. I trimmed it up yesterday for this, for Lenni. I can’t look ugly for pictures, but then again I couldn’t look ugly even if I tried.
“Hey, handsome.” Lenni peeks her head around the door, her hair falling over shoulder.
Man, she’s gorgeous. She’s wearing the most gorgeous, lace dress I’ve ever seen with heels that make her legs look damn near too good to leave the house. “Shit, Len. You’re already my angel, but wearing that white dress, you make me want to put a little devil in your life.”
She laughs as she walks closer to me. Reaching up to straighten the collar of my shirt, she teases, “Oh, you are so charming, my love.”
“What about having a little fun before this shindig starts?” I smirk as I reach around and grab her ass.
“Ouch, you asshole,” she giggles, reaching back and pulling my hand away.
“Mrs. Taylor, are you denying me my God given right?”
She cocks her head to the side. “God given right? Last time I checked it was your Lenni given right. Since I’m the one who decides when you can have sex and all.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, don’t hold out on me.”
She turns and struts her little self out of the bathroom and turns back towards me. “If I didn’t have to go feed our little Cala Elizabeth, I would. Because I’ve been dying just as much as you have, I assure you.”
Yeah, I highly doubt that. She doesn’t have to look at boobs she can’t touch anytime she wants. I do. I fucking do. It’s few and far between that we get any alone time, so by the time I get some time with my woman, I’m on the brink of death.
When Elli is gone we still have Cala here keeping us busy, and she doesn’t sleep worth a crap. Her definition of a good night’s sleep is waking up a minimum of four times and starting her day before the roosters.
Vanessa, so far, has made good on her promise to not interfere in Elli’s life. I’m sure I’ve got plenty of people who like to think my choice was the wrong one, punishing my daughter because of my selfishness. That’s the last thing I ever want to do. The way I see it, I would have been punishing her if I would have let Vanessa in her life, only for her to snake her way out of it again. Elli isn’t a baby anymore, she’d remember the heartbreak of watching the woman who birthed her walk away for the second time. I knew Vanessa wouldn’t stick around. She never does. In fact, I haven’t seen or heard from her since the day she showed up at the house. According to her parents she met a new guy, fell in love, and moved to California.
She’s the type of person who’s always going to put herself first, and that’s okay. I don’t blame her or resent her for it. I’ve completely moved beyond that point in my life. I’m actually thankful for everything Vanessa put us through because it got us to this point now—completely fucking happy.
“Daddy!” Elli calls from down the hall.
I shake off the tinge of emotion building up. “What, Scooter?”
“Can you come get Cala? Mommy said she has to potty.”
I walk into the nursery and pick Cala up from her crib.
“I told you to go get him, not yell. I could have done that myself, silly girl,” Lenni teases as she rushes into the bathroom.
“Sorry, Mommy.”
I place kisses along Cala’s cheek before I sit her on my lap. She plays with a toy phone as I try to catch all of her slobber with the bib. I don’t know why Lenni didn’t just wait to get her dressed, but women think they know everything. Guess I better get used to it; I live with three of them.
I just sit and stare at Cala as she coos and smiles her gummy, two-toothed grin. My heart nearly explodes with love for my three girls. I’m not sure what in the hell I did in my past life to deserve all three of them, but I am not complaining. I’ll spend every day of this life trying to be the man they deserve.
Cala slaps herself in the face with her toy and starts crying. “Hey my sweet girl. It’s okay.” I bring her in for a hug and run my fingers through her little brown ringlets. She brings her little head back and stares at me. “Say ‘Dada,’” I coach, ticking her neck.
“Da-Dee!” she cheers, clapping at herself.
It’s just as exhilarating hearing your second baby say your name as it is the first time around. It’s enough to bring any grown man down to size. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since she was born.
She came out looking just like Lenni, but she has those dimples just like me and her big sister.
I was so proud of Lenni the day Cala was born. She was a trooper and had her with no pain medicine what-so-ever. I couldn’t have done it. I would have begged for someone to knock me the hell out. All it took was for Lenni to nearly sever my hand with her death grip and twenty minutes of pushing.
I dare not mention how much she hurt my hand that day. I made the mistake once, and it only took one go to hell look and her snapping the “I pushed an eight pound baby out of my vagina” for me to shut my mouth for good. I’ve learned when to shut up and when to speak up, and when it comes to Lenni, I usually shut up. I’ll never win if she’s got any say in it, anyways.
After we’re all dressed, I load my girls up in the truck and head to the lake.
I can’t believe today is the day my family finally becomes whole. It really hasn’t been a long time coming. Lenni and I seem to have moved at lightning speed, but it’s the pace that worked for us. I would have married her the day I proposed had she let me.
I knew Lenni was it for me and Elli when she talked to Elli on the phone the night of our first date. I knew Elli agreed with me the day I saw that stick family she drew for Lenni.
Our relationship might have moved a hell of a lot faster than most would like, but we’ve been through shit that could have easily torn us apart, that did tear us apart. But nothing was enough to keep us apart forever. Now, nothing can will ever be able to separate us.
When we pull up to the lake I grip Lenni’s hand. “You ready?”
Tears fill her eyes as she smiles at me with such happiness, such finality. “More than anything.” I lean across the console and give her a quick kiss. That cherry lip gloss is still my favorite.
“I love you, my pretty little thing.”
Her cheeks flush just like they do every other time I call her that. I love it.
We get the girls out of the truck and walk over to the pavilion that Amber and Zoe have spent days decorating.
I look up and see the huge banner that splays across the length of the pavilion and my heart bursts with nothing but pure happiness.
HAPPY ADOPTION DAY, ELLI!
With Elli on my left and Lenni, carrying Cala, to my right, we walk hand-in-hand to our awaiting family and friends.
I glance at all three of my girls and smile.
My family. My heart. My soul. My always.
THE END
Acknowledgements
Always is a book that means the world to me. I wrote this book because I couldn’t get the characters out of my head. I wrote it so one day I can show my children that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I wrote it, but this story would have never came to fruition without “my people” behind me. There is so much more to publishing a book than putting words to paper (or computer to be technical). These are just a few of the people I have to thank for joining me on this crazy ride.
My husband- You’ve supported me from the first time I came to you with my wild idea of writing a book. You’ve never doubted, even when I doubted myself. You’ve been my strength from the very start. You are the most incredible husband and father. Wes was created because of you. You don’t always get the credit you so very much deserve, but our kids are beyond blessed to have
YOU as their daddy. You are amazing. I love you, J.
My kids- I love you more than you will ever know. You’re not even aware I’ve written this book, and will probably never even read this acknowledgement, but I hope you know that you five are my greatest accomplishments. You give me purpose. Everything I do in this life, I do for you. I’m beyond thankful to be your mom. You make me proud every single day of this life. I will always be your number one fan.
My sister, Mae- Thank you for not laughing because I am a “book nerd”. Thank you for supporting me when I told you I wanted to write a book. We’ve gone through this crazy world together our entire lives, and I couldn’t go through it without you, my little treasure hunter. As mom always said, “Happy time!” I love you.
Ken- You’ve taught me how to accept life as it is. To roll with the punches. When life kicks you in the face, you kick it the hell right back. You are my hero. You will never know what you mean to me, or know just how much you’ve taught me in this life. You are so much more than just my oldest brother. Thank you for being you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for everything. I love you.
Mac- We’ve been together since 6th grade. You’re the yin to my yang. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being an encourager when I need one. You’re the best. Through hard times and heartaches…
Adriana- You are my Clairee, my Charlie, my Cala. You were the one who gave me the courage to go for my dreams and write this book. You told me I was so much more than just washing dishes and folding clothes. Those words might have seemed so minute to you, but they were monumental to me. You believed in my idea when I just threw it at you. You loved Wes first, and he you. Thank you for your time, your patience with me, your unending support, but most of all- your friendship. One day we will have our commune and Edelman will join you. Love you- Ouiser. PS: First Child. DONE.
TE Black- My Dream Team partner. My other half of my “BGboys”. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You made this crazy ride all the more bearable. The hard days aren’t so hard when I’ve got my partner just a call/text/message away. We did it! We both wrote a freaking book. I would have gone completely insane without you. Team work makes the dream work.
Jen C- You came in with open arms and took on the project of being my beta reader from the very beginning. You accepted me and my idea. You put your all into helping me with this story. Beta readers don’t get the credit they deserve. Without you, I would have probably thrown in the towel and sent this book to the recycle bin. You are my favorite Bostonian (is that even a word?) and I’m so thankful to have you in my corner. And Tom Brady will always love you.
Olivia and Susan- You two are such an integral part of this book. You came in and willingly dug into my story, helping me shape it into being better. You’ve made me laugh and pushed me when I wanted to just crumple it all up and throw it away. Thank you for everything! I’m sending you both huge hugs and kisses from Louisiana. Your friendship means the world to me. Xx.
Tiff Ly and Michelle- Thank you both for your countless group texts that are sure to make me laugh my ass off. You both mean SO much to me and I can’t thank you enough for your friendship. You were my first ever book babes and I couldn’t have chosen anyone better than you two to start out on this crazy ride with.
Jen Wood and Heather (HP) - Thank you both for taking time out of your busy lives to read my book and helping to make it better. Thank you for your feedback and input. HP, I hope it’s not too insta-love for you anymore. ;)
Stephanie Gibson- My editor, and quite literally, my savior! You came in with arms wide open willing to edit this book for me last minute when I had a sudden editor crisis. You know the cliché saying that everything happens for a reason? I believe it, because that brought me you! You are an angel. Thank you!
My Mommies (You know who you are) - You ladies have literally been my backbone since 2014. We started a crazy journey together, coming together over one common denominator, our kids. We’ve formed a bond that is everlasting. You all have supported my crazy ideas, rants, my stressing, and everything in between. I love you. Thank you. Hugs.
My proofreaders- Thank you for catching my lookovers and thank you for taking the time to help me out. You are all incredible people and I’m blessed to have met you in this book world.
Analia- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! There are no words to describe how much you sharing my work means to me. You selfishly take time out of your day to get the word out about my book, and that means more than you know. I’m so grateful our paths have crossed. In case you don’t hear it enough, you are SO very much appreciated.
Books by Randa Lynn- You all brighten my day more than I could ever explain. From the laughs to the support. Thank you all for being with me from the very beginning.
My bonus babies’ mom- Yes, this might sound weird, but I feel it’s needed. Thank you for giving me them. And also, thank you for NOT being a Vanessa. I’m glad we are all able to do this co-parenting thing together for the kids.
Bloggers- Thank you all for taking the time to share my cover reveal and all you do for all indie authors. You are so very much appreciated.
To the readers- Yes, YOU! Thank you for taking the time and gambling on a new author. I cannot thank you enough for giving me a chance. Whether you liked this book or not, THANK YOU. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would even consider reading my work. There are tons of incredible books out there and you chose to crack open mine. You are incredible. You are beautiful. You are what makes the difference in this world of writing.
To anyone else I might have forgotten to mention, don’t think you go unnoticed. I promise, my brain is frazzled and I have forgotten at least ONE person, probably more. But I love you. I love you all. You make me smile.
Xx-RL
About the Author
Randa lives in Louisiana with her husband and children. She spends her days chasing little ones, going to sporting events, and enjoying life. If everything around her and her family crumbled, she would still see herself as blessed. After all, family is the only thing in life that truly matters.
In her down time, Randa loves nothing more than to crack open a good book and enter a new world. After reading oodles of books filled with dreamy heroes and beautiful heroines, she decided that creating her own would be an adventure. And an adventure it has been.
Finding memes and GIFs to fit any conversation, Target, and reality TV are among her favorite things.
CONTACT RANDA AT:
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