A Springtime Heart

by Marta Perry

  She’d reached the house by then, so she straightened her shoulders and walked more briskly. Raising concerned questions wasn’t part of her plan. She could only try to behave normally and brace herself against the next blow to fall.

  Unfortunately, Dorcas realized how little she’d succeeded when her mother took one look at her, put down the spatula she’d been using to turn the potato cakes, and hurried over to put her arm around Dorcas.

  “What is it, Dorcas?” She gave her a quick hug. “Something has happened to disturb you. Is it Thomas? Is he more badly hurt than you thought?”

  Mammi had an unerring knack for putting her finger on the right spot. Dorcas almost wished she’d go back to the inattention and withdrawal she’d shown when Daad was ill.

  No, of course she didn’t wish that. She was horrified at herself.

  “His injuries are healing, at least from what Miriam says. I had to stop over there after school. Thomas wanted to talk to me about the work. He’s determined to get back to it as soon as possible.”

  So he could leave Promise Glen. But she couldn’t say that out loud.

  “That’s gut, but he mustn’t rush it. I know it’s important to get the work done. For the school, but for him, too.” She drew Dorcas to a seat at the table and sat down next to her. “It will be a fine advertisement for the business he’s starting.”

  There wasn’t going to be a business, but she nodded. “Really, nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired is all.”

  Mammi reached out to cup Dorcas’s face between her palms, forcing her daughter to look at her. “Komm, now. We both know better than that. I don’t want to pry, but . . .” Sorrow crossed her face and darkened her eyes. “For too long I didn’t pay enough attention to you. Right at a crucial age when a girl needs her mammi the most. Let me make up for that now. Please.”

  “Mammi, you didn’t . . .” She began, but her mother was already shaking her head.

  She hadn’t realized until now that her mother was aware of failing her. And that had been fine with Dorcas. She certain sure didn’t want her mother to feel guilt on top of her grief. And it hadn’t been her mother’s fault if she had run a little wild in those days. She’d known what she was doing was wrong, and she’d done it anyway, with disastrous consequences for Thomas, if not for her.

  One thing was certain. She couldn’t confess to what she’d done back then, even to make herself feel better. It would just make her mother’s pain worse and serve no good purpose.

  But she could tell her about Esther. She’d promised not to give Esther away to her parents, but her own mother wasn’t part of that.

  The pressure was just too much. She nodded. “Something happened at school today that was upsetting. That’s all.”

  Mammi took her hands from Dorcas’s face and clasped them firmly on the table. “Tell me.”

  “It’s Esther, Thomas’s sister. She . . . she got the mistaken idea that Thomas . . . that I . . . well, she told her friends that I was out to trap Thomas into marrying me.” She grimaced. “Apparently girls that age think that any maidal of my age is out to get a husband by fair means or foul.”

  “That’s not so bad, is it?” Mammi patted her hands. “Even if it were true . . .” She let that die out, probably beginning to realize the possibilities. “Ach, what’s going on with that child?”

  “She’s jealous of me, that’s all it is. She’d be jealous of anything that would take Thomas’s attention away from her. I can’t blame her. She’s missed out on a lot of years with him, and she’s trying to make up for that in all the wrong ways. Still, I can’t have her going around saying something inappropriate is going on at the school.”

  “Ach, no. You must talk to her at once. Or better still, tell Miriam and Lucas.”

  “That’s what I should have done, I know. But when I went to the Fisher place, I saw Thomas first, and I told him. He was upset, that was certain sure. I think he felt that it was his fault, or at least his responsibility. He wanted to try talking with Esther himself, since it affects him. I agreed to let him handle it, but now I’m worried that I’ve done the wrong thing. If rumors start to spread around the community—well, it could affect my job.”

  “Ach, it’s all such nonsense. As if you’d even do anything like that. It’s not right for Thomas to put you in a situation where you don’t tell the parents. Still, maybe Esther will listen to what he says better than to her parents. That happens with girls her age.”

  “Maybe.”

  Mammi patted her hands. “You mustn’t worry so much about it. You haven’t done anything wrong, and I don’t think anyone would believe such ill-natured gossip. It will all blow over, you’ll see. But Esther does need a gut talking-to, that’s certain sure. Miriam would be embarrassed to think her daughter behaved that way.”

  Dorcas forced a chuckle. “I’m sure she’s getting that talking-to from her big bruder right now. Maybe it’s making an impression on her.” She pulled her hands away. “Don’t worry about it, Mammi. I just let it get me down because I was tired, but it’s not worth fretting over.” She glanced at the pan on the stove. “Anyway, your potato cakes need some attention.”

  “Ach, what’s wrong with me?” Mammi sprang into action, everything else forgotten for the moment.

  “I’ll be back to help you as soon as I wash my hands.” She’d use any excuse for a moment alone.

  When she glanced at herself in the mirror over the sink, she understood why Mammi had reacted. Her face was drawn, and all her usual color had disappeared. Quickly splashing some cold water on her face, she tidied her hair and dried her hands.

  As Dorcas went back to the kitchen she tried to stay occupied, but her worries wouldn’t be ignored. She breathed a silent prayer. She hoped with all her heart that her mother was right, but she had her doubts. She didn’t think they’d heard the end of this, not at all.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  By Friday morning, Dorcas had stopped waiting for disaster to strike. She’d been so keyed up when she’d come to school the previous day, but nothing had happened all day, and Esther had been quiet and docile. Too quiet, in Dorcas’s opinion. She considered saying something to her but decided not to risk making it worse. She didn’t want the lively spirit stamped out of the girl, even though she’d behaved foolishly.

  Still, whatever Thomas said to her seemed to have worked. From what Dorcas had seen of Esther in the past years, she should be resilient enough to bounce back from any scolding Thomas had given her, but it seemed she had taken this one hard, probably because it was from him. She cherished his good opinion as much as she wanted his attention.

  Dorcas looked away from the mathematics lesson she was teaching to the eighth graders, surveying the classroom. No one was giggling or wiggling, and that was a cause for gratitude. Anna spun a globe as she challenged the middle grades to find various spots in the world. Her face was bright with interest, and the scholars’ faces echoed her expression.

  That was definitely the way to catch them. If you were interested, how could the children help but be? Anna had learned that lesson quickly.

  Unfortunately Dorcas was finding it heavy going to keep the eighth graders focused on math. It was her fault, but today she couldn’t work up enthusiasm about the subject herself. When she’d finally finished her lesson with the older scholars, Dorcas walked to the front and rapped on her desk. “Since it’s such a warm day, how would you like to take your lunches outside?”

  That idea was greeted with smiles and a few clapped hands.

  “All right, then. Put your books away, and then you may get your lunches and line up at the door.”

  With an outburst of energy, the children scurried to do as she said. She’d been keeping half an eye on the Gaus girls, and she saw that now they were talking rapidly at Esther, who kept shaking her head.

  About what? About Esther’s brother and the teacher? W
ell, if so, they weren’t making much impression on Esther. She shook her head again and walked away, picking up her lunch bag and getting in line at the door. The Gaus girls exchanged glances. Shrugging, they followed her.

  She’d give a great deal to know what they were talking about, even if she didn’t like the answer. But at least Esther didn’t seem to mind turning them down. She couldn’t help feeling that Erna, in particular, wasn’t a good influence on the other girls. She was too precocious, for one thing. And maybe too like her mother, always convinced she was right.

  Well, whatever it was, Esther had said no, so Dorcas would have to be content with her refusal.

  Or did she? It had been on her mind all morning that she ought to talk to Esther herself, but she’d hung back, not wanting to chance disrupting the good work Thomas had done. Maybe during lunch period she’d have an opportunity to open a conversation, even on something completely unrelated. It might let her evaluate Esther’s feelings, at any rate.

  Dorcas picked up her own lunch and thermos and followed the children outside. She’d no more than stepped onto the porch when she saw a buggy coming down the lane toward the school. Jonas Fisher was driving with Thomas sitting next to him, while Adam leaned over the back of their seats.

  Her heart gave an unexpected leap. She hadn’t expected to see Thomas here before next week, at least. And judging by what she’d heard about Jonas’s reaction to his brother’s return, she definitely hadn’t thought to see him sitting next to Thomas.

  The brothers drove right around the school to the stable. Given the way her heart seemed to follow them, she decided that there really wasn’t anything wrong with going back to the stable to check up on them.

  Before she could move, Anna came hurrying toward her.

  “I didn’t think Thomas could possibly be back so soon. And his brothers, too. Do you suppose they’re all going to work on the stable?”

  Anna’s eyes had an extra sparkle when she mentioned Thomas’s brothers, making Dorcas wonder which one was the center of Anna’s attention. Jonas was older than she was, but not enough to matter. And when a girl had her eye on someone, she didn’t think of age. Adam seemed much younger, probably because he had that lively manner and a hint of recklessness in his smile.

  Well, Anna would just have to wait if she wanted to talk to them.

  “Will you take over here, please? I’ll just go and see what they’re going to do. I hope Thomas won’t try to do too much. We don’t want to go through that again, do we?”

  Anna shook her head vehemently. “Please tell him I hope he’s feeling better.”

  “I will.” And she’d give him a strong lecture if he thought he was going to go climbing around the stable again.

  Nodding to Anna, she slipped quickly around the schoolhouse and hurried toward the stable. Jonas was unloading something from the buggy, while Adam seemed determined to help Thomas get down.

  When she reached them, Thomas seemed to be protesting about his efforts. “Let go, Adam. I can get down by myself.”

  “And injure your ribs all over again?” Dorcas gave Adam an encouraging nod. “You let your brother help you, or I’ll kick the three of you off school property.”

  Her smile belied the sharp words. Adam grinned, and Jonas tried to hide a smile.

  “You heard,” Adam said, grasping his brother’s arm. “Let me help you.”

  She saw Thomas wince at his grasp. “One moment,” she said. “There’s a bench just inside the stable door. If you get that, Thomas can step on it to get down. That way he won’t risk jarring himself.”

  When Adam hesitated, Jonas came to give him a shove. “You heard. Do what Teacher Dorcas says.” He nodded at Dorcas. “Thomas was determined to come. We’re supposed to make sure he doesn’t get into mischief.”

  “I’m right here,” Thomas said. “I can speak for myself.” But he was smiling.

  Dorcas glanced from his face to Jonas’s. It seemed the situation between the two of them had changed for the better, and she was glad. It wasn’t right for brothers to be at odds the way they’d been.

  Adam returned with the bench. Dorcas studied Thomas’s face while the two of them bickered over getting it in the right place. He met her gaze and smiled a little. “Satisfied?”

  “No, but I suppose you’re too determined to listen to me. Why didn’t you wait until Monday, at least?”

  “Have a heart. One more day of Mammi and Esther fussing over me, and I’d be climbing the walls. I had to get out.”

  “At least have sense enough to go easy,” she said. “And for goodness’ sake, tell Adam how to help you before he breaks another rib.”

  Adam, caught in the moment of trying to lift his brother, looked startled and a little embarrassed.

  “You heard,” Thomas said. “Just stand right there so I can put my hand on your shoulder. That’s the best way to help me.”

  Adam looked doubtful, but he did as he was told. Jonas took his place on the other side, and Thomas was soon on solid ground and no worse for wear, from what Dorcas could see.

  She was about to go back to the children when she saw Esther peeking around the corner. Realizing she’d been seen, Esther waved.

  “Teacher, can I come and say hi?”

  Giving in to the inevitable, Dorcas nodded. “Just for a minute,” she said. “And then we both have to get back to work.”

  Esther hurried over and touched her brother lightly on the arm, probably having been told not to hug him. “Everyone says to tell you hello. And they hope you feel better.”

  Thomas actually flushed a little. “Denke. You tell them I’m a lot better. I’ll come over and talk to them at the end of school, if that’s okay with Teacher Dorcas.” He gave her a questioning look.

  “Of course.”

  “I want to tell them I appreciate their good behavior when I had my accident,” he added. He probably knew she wasn’t likely to turn him down on anything, given how frightened she’d been by his fall. She could only hope she hadn’t given away her feelings to anyone else. At that moment, she wouldn’t have cared if the whole world knew, but she’d regained her sense since then.

  “Come along, Esther.” She touched the girl’s arm, and this time she didn’t pull away. “He’s all right, and Adam and Jonas will make sure he doesn’t overdo.”

  She anticipated the sulky look that had become habitual lately with Esther, but it didn’t materialize. Instead, she seemed pleased to walk with Dorcas.

  “Did you . . . do you know what Thomas said to me?” Esther gave her a shy, sideways glance and then dropped her gaze.

  “No, I don’t. He asked me to let him handle the problem instead of telling your parents, and I trusted him to say the right thing. Are we all right now?”

  She nodded, still without meeting Dorcas’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, her voice trembling a little. Then she darted ahead to the others.

  Something that had been tense inside Dorcas seemed to relax. Whatever else came from this situation, it seemed to have made Esther more aware of her responsibility to others. That was an important step in growing up, and one she was still trying to master herself.

  * * *

  —

  Thomas told himself firmly to concentrate on the job at hand and not watch Dorcas walking away from him. The trouble was, each time he saw her, it was harder and harder to hold to his resolution not to speak, and he had to. He wouldn’t force her to choose between him and the people and place she loved. If love meant anything, it surely meant doing what was best for the loved one, no matter how much it hurt.

  “What’s first?” Jonas was looking above the stall toward the roof. “Looks like you had a fair amount to do on the roof. Is it all finished?”

  “Yah, it is. And it was in worse shape than I thought at first.” He moved toward them, quickly realizing that he couldn’t g
o as fast as he’d expected.

  It was all very well for the doctor to say he’d be uncomfortable for a few days. Uncomfortable, he could bear. The doctor should have gone on to say that Thomas wouldn’t be moving much, either.

  He stopped inside the stable, letting his eyes adjust to the relative dimness. “I didn’t realize I’d brought that crosspiece down with me when I came. See, it belongs—”

  He made an unwary movement to show them what he meant and fetched up grasping his ribs and breathless.

  “Here, sit down.” Jonas supported him while Adam dragged a bale of straw over for him to sit on. “You want to get us in trouble with Mammi?”

  “You know who she’ll blame if we bring you back all stove up,” Adam added.

  “All right, all right.” He sank down on the bale and caught his breath. “You win. I’ll talk, not move.”

  “Gut.” Jonas had located the missing crosspiece. “You want us to start with this?”

  “May as well. You see where it goes?”

  “We see. It’s pretty obvious that it came down when you fell. You must have hit it on the way down. Now don’t move or I’ll tell Teacher Dorcas on you.” Jonas picked up hammer and nails. “You want to go up, Adam?”

  “Sure thing.” Adam started scrambling up the stall bars. “Mammi says I could climb like a monkey before I was out of my crib.”

  Jonas hoisted the end of the crosspiece up to him. “What I remember is you trying to climb out of that crib and falling on your head. And me getting blamed for not stopping you.”

  “The older one always gets blamed,” Thomas said. “That’s life.”

  Jonas snorted. “You should have shared a room with him.” He jerked a thumb toward Adam, perched high above. “I never even thought of most of the things he tried.”

  “You don’t have enough imagination,” Adam said, grinning and pleased with himself.

  “Just keep quiet and nail that in place.” Jonas handed the tools up to him and came back to Thomas. They both watched Adam walk nimbly along the top of the stall.