Hard To Stay

by S. Jones

  A new song boomed through the speakers causing me to pull away. Gage tugged on my hand, “One more, please.” He drew out the word, batting those thick eyelashes that probably had most women dropping their panties when he put on the charm. Begging a woman for more than just a second of his time, was probably a record for him.

  I pressed my lips together, finding it hard to say no. He was a good distraction, but leading him on would be wrong. “One more, then that’s it.”

  “Deal.” he said, smiling just before he pulled me back towards his chest.

  When the song ended, he spun me around with his strong arm supporting my back and dipped me. I could feel a smile erupt on my face.

  “See, now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked, his eyes bright with amusement.

  I shook my head and gave him a polite smile. In another time or another place, I would probably be interested, but seeing that I had met Brad first, I just wasn’t capable of allowing my head to go there.

  Sweat was beading down my forehead and my hair was stuck to the back of my neck as we headed back toward the bar. I weaved through the crowd in need of a drink when my feet came to an immediate halt. Brad stood there with his hands in his pockets and his head slanted to the left. Anger darkened his eyes as his gaze flickered to where Gage’s hand rested on the small of my back. A slight twinge of guilt passed through me.

  “Lexi, I would like to speak with you… alone, please.” His face was pulled tight, but he kept his voice steady. It looked like he was on the verge losing control by the way his jaw flexed back and forth. As much as I wanted to tell him no, it was as if my heart had a mind of its own.

  I simply nodded my head when he reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine. Tingles pricked my arms at the way my hand felt inside his. My heart was thumping so hard in my chest I thought it would jump out of my skin.

  He led me down a dark hallway past the restrooms until he found a small corner in the back that was quieter and less crowded. My nervous fingers fumbled with my too short top, and I suddenly worried that I might be showing off too much skin.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that. I shouldn’t have let him get to me. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  The events of tonight had taken me by surprise making me wish I could put it all behind me. Things were getting weird between us and I just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been. Go back to a place where things were comfortable because comfortable meant safe. It was impossible to ignore the shift in our relationship over the past two weeks, but I pushed those feelings aside and gave him the reassurance he needed.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me.” The waver in his voice did something to me.

  My small fingers wrapped around his strong ones and gave them a squeeze. “I’m not.” I said, trying to hide how nervous I was. I wasn’t sure what he would think if he knew how fast my feelings for him were developing. But at the same time, I didn’t want him to think that I was some fragile little girl who got frightened every time somebody raised their voice. I knew Brad would never hurt me. Well, at least not physically. And certainly not intentionally.

  His relief was apparent. “Thank God. Now that we got that out of the way…” He sighed. “About Samantha…” He ran his free hand through his hair pulling on the ends like he was uncomfortable with the words that came next. “I broke it off with her weeks ago.” He tilted his head to the side. “Besides, do you really think I would be spending so much time with you, if I had a girlfriend?”

  I just shrugged my shoulders. “I guess not.”

  His eyebrows pulled together. “That’s it?”

  “You’ve never given me a reason to doubt you. If you’re telling me that you’re not seeing anyone, then I believe you.”

  His lips kicked up into a smile. “You’re making this way too easy. What’s the catch?”

  “There is no catch. Are you trying to say you want me to give you a hard time?”

  Brad laughed out loud. The sound warmed my insides more than I cared to admit.

  “We’re good, then?” He asked, squeezing my hand while inching closer towards me. He still didn’t look convinced.

  “We’re good.” I gave him a faint smile, trying to ignore the way his woodsy cologne clouded all my damn senses. Every single worry about tonight completely melted away with just a single touch.

  His shoulders visibly relaxed when his face turned serious. “There is one more thing I want to get straight.” He took another step towards me, closing the remaining distance between us. His warm breath hovered over my skin causing every nerve ending in my body to take notice. “I don’t want you dancing with Garrison.”

  My pulse was pounding, making it hard to breathe. “Why?”

  His gaze held mine; he was looking at me in a way that he had never looked at me before. “I don’t like it.”

  Even though this conversation had me feeling uneasy, I still couldn’t bring myself to look away. “I’m not sure what you want me to say?”

  “Tell me you won’t go out with him.”

  For a moment, I thought he might be angry, but before I could ponder that thought any further, his lips sealed over mine catching me off guard. My eyes snapped open in shock only for a brief second. The caress of his lips was softer than I could have ever imagined. It was almost as if it were taking every ounce of his restraint to keep it gentle. When his tongue slipped in without warning, my fists grabbed onto his shirt so I wouldn’t stumble backwards.

  The kiss may have started off slow and tender, but with every skilled swipe of his tongue I found myself getting lost in the incredible feeling of being in his arms. His mouth continued to move against mine, causing all coherent thoughts to escape me. His hand snaked into my hair and I swear I felt my legs shake as he pressed his body harder against mine. Kissing him was everything I thought it would be and much, much more.

  A soft moan escaped my throat as his fingertips gripped my hips and suddenly, I felt claimed by this one single solitary touch. The way he explored my mouth and possessively dug his hands into my flesh was if he were demanding to know every inch of me.

  The sound of laughter and chatter could be heard as it made its way towards us. It was an unwelcome reminder that we weren’t alone. He pulled back from me with his eyes turning a dark shade of brown.

  Cupping my jaw, he moved his thumb tenderly across my cheek. “God, that felt good. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that?”

  My eyes widened in shock. “Really?” I didn’t know why that surprised me so much.

  He pressed his forehead against mine. “You’ve had me tied up in knots for weeks now.”

  “You mean you don’t kiss all your friends like that?” I said, smiling and enjoying the way his breathing was still heavy from our kiss.

  “Oh, you think you’re so clever, don’t you? Have I ever told you how much I’ve come to hate the F word?” He said, letting his kiss linger on my lips. A laugh slipped out of me, which he quickly silenced when he took my bottom lip between his teeth.

  “Will you promise me now that you’ll stay away from Garrison?”

  “You really don’t like him, do you?”

  “I despise him.”

  My brain traveled back their argument, earlier. “Is it because of your ex, Emily?”

  His body tensed. “What are you talking about?”

  His reaction didn’t go unnoticed. He tried to hide it, but I still saw it.

  “You got upset when Gage mentioned her. Is that why you guys don’t get along?”

  He blinked, taking a step back. “No, and the subject of Emily is off limits.”

  Here we go again. I was so sick of avoiding this subject and him always drawing a line whenever the topic of her came up. His reaction only heightened my suspicions that he wasn’t completely over her. There was no way I could keep tiptoeing around this, especially after what we just shared. “Oh really… and why is that?”


  I watched his face harden and you could see the tension in his brow. His emotions seemed to be in a tug of war. When he didn’t respond, I decided to answer for him.

  “Because you’re still in love with her.”

  He had the audacity to close his eyes like I had physically wounded him. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

  “Why?” I pressed, noticing he didn’t deny it, which just seemed to piss me off even further.

  “The same reason why you don’t want to talk about Colton.”

  My frustration with his avoidance on this topic was getting the better of me. “Oh, no you don’t. You know the reason why I don’t want to talk about him. He represents a dark time in my life. That is completely different.”

  He plowed his hands through his hair and looked away. “You don’t get it. You would give anything to never see him again. Where I would give up everything I own to have her back.”

  A thick, heavy silence rolled through the room as I stared at the man who had come to mean so much to me. My stomach dropped as his words hit me like a brick to the head. He quickly started to back pedal. “Lexi, I’m so sorry. That’s not what I meant.”

  His voice was strangled as he reached for my hand, but I yanked it away as if his touch burned my skin. “Don’t touch me.” I hissed out, stumbling back from him. The impact from his words hurt more than any physical pain ever could.

  Brad’s face fell as a look of regret flashed across his eyes. “I’m leaving.” I shot my hand out when I felt him moving towards me. “Don’t you dare follow me.” I snapped defensively and turned on my heels and stormed off.

  I shot Abby a text telling her I was leaving. Her reply was instant.

  Abby: I’ll be right there

  I typed back-

  Me: Don’t worry about it, I’m good

  My phone pinged.

  Abby: You sure?

  I replied-

  Me: Absolutely! Have fun

  “Where’s Morgan?” I looked up from my phone to meet Sawyer’s curious gaze.

  “It was really great meeting you both.” I said, ignoring his question. “Maybe I’ll see you guys around sometime.” I turned to leave with every intention on putting this night behind me. I could not get out of there fast enough.

  Gage grabbed my arm, stopping me from leaving. “Hey, you okay?” I tilted my head to look up at him and forced a smile. “I’m fine, I just have a headache and need to go home.” His eyes roamed over my face, clearly not convinced.

  “Lexi!” Brad’s deep voice called from across the room, hitting me with a force that was physically painful. “You can’t leave by yourself. Let me take you home.”

  My back was still facing him. I couldn’t turn around because I knew if I did I would crumble. For the first time since I’d met him I couldn’t stand to look at him. I just needed to get away from him.

  I looked up at Gage again, desperate to get the hell away from Brad. “Would you mind taking me home?”

  “Lexi,” Brad’s voice was desperate. It felt like I was being split in two. There was a part of me that wanted to turn around and give him the chance to make things right, but I knew my heart wasn’t strong enough to handle another blow.

  I shut my eyes trying to block out the sound of his voice. I blinked again and looked up at Gage with pleading eyes. “Please,” I begged.

  For the first time tonight, Gage looked uneasy. I saw him glance over my shoulder then shake his head. “Sure, lead the way,” he said then placed his drink down on the bar. He held out his hand and led us both to the door.

  “Garrison.” Brad’s voice called out, causing us both to pause. “You walk her to her door and make sure she gets inside. You better not even think about walking past that door or I will beat your ass so bad your momma won’t even recognize you.”

  Garrison must not have wanted to piss Brad off any more than he already had because he did exactly what Brad had instructed him to do. But not before he took an opportunity to ask me for my phone number when he dropped me off.

  My body felt heavy as I forced it towards my bedroom. Pulling the covers back, I slipped my body inside the cool sheets and laid my head on the pillow. I stared up at the ceiling trying not to cry. Brad Morgan was more dangerous than Colton Hunt could ever be.

  Chapter Eight

  Brad

  I was standing outside Lexi’s apartment, mentally running through the lines that I had rehearsed all morning in my bathroom mirror. I hoped with all that I had that she wouldn’t slam the door in my face, even though that is exactly what I deserved. I swallowed hard when I imagined how the situation behind it would go. She wasn’t going to be happy to see me that much I was sure of. My hands fumbled for the doorbell and I held my breath while listening for her footsteps to approach.

  The door slowly swung open and the sight of her beautiful face felt like a punch in the gut. She was standing there with her hand on her hip and an annoyed look in her eyes. Even in the dimly lit hallway, she still looked breathtaking. She was wearing a grey crop top with a pair of tight leggings that showed off her curves. Her long blonde hair was pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun, showcasing a gorgeous, make-up free face. I was such a fuck up. I would do anything to make this right, even if I had to beg her every damn day for the rest of my life.

  “What do you want, Brad?” At least she acknowledged my existence. I could work with that.

  I flashed her my million-dollar smile that seemed to draw compliments from the ladies. It’s all I had. I knew these dimples were deadly, and I was going to use them to my advantage. Unfortunately, Lexi seemed completely immune to my charms. She looked back at me with a blank, empty stare causing the grin on my face to drop in disappointment. She wasn’t going to make this easy on me.

  “Can I come in?” I asked, holding out the brown paper bag I picked up on my way over. “I brought a peace offering.” I held the bag up like it was proof that I wasn’t lying.

  She craned her neck to the side to get a better look at the logo. “Is that the egg white sandwich, that I like?”

  My lips twisted into a smirk noticing her resolve weakening. “And the spinach and artichoke soufflé that you love. I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I brought you one of each.”

  She seemed to think it over for a beat longer than I was comfortable with as I anxiously awaited her reply.

  “I’m not hungry,” she announced, causing my glance to fall to the toes of her bare feet.

  “Can I please come in? We need to talk.” I pleaded, leaning my tall frame against the doorjamb.

  “I’m busy… and I’m not hungry, so I’m not sure why you need to come in.”

  Jesus, she was really going to make me work for this.

  “With what?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. It felt like I was losing my touch, which made me more determined than before to gain an invitation inside. It was clear that the distance between us was far greater than I had anticipated, but I knew in my heart I could close that gap. I would wear her down like the lead on a drawing pencil. If she wanted to get rid of me I wasn’t going to make it easy on her.

  “Look Brad, it’s been a shitty 24 hours and I’m up to my elbows scrubbing my toilet.”

  My lips tipped up into a grin, not sure if her word play was intentional or accidental. Either way, she was absolutely adorable without even realizing it. There was no way I was leaving here without getting everything off my chest.

  “Well, that certainly sounds like a lot of fun and all, but I really only need five minutes of your time.”

  She huffed out a frustrated breath, “Fine.” She opened the door wider to allow me in as she looked at the clock on the kitchen wall. “Five minutes. I’ve got scrubbing bubbles that are demanding my attention.” She said, slamming the door behind us. She walked right past me, drawing my eyes to her perfect ass and the lace thong creeping above the top of her leggings. She gave her hips an extra swing with each step that appeared to be for my benefit or punishment.
I still wasn’t sure.

  I walked over to her small kitchen table, taking her breakfast out of the bag. I pulled out a chair and gestured for her to join me.

  She slid into the seat across from me with a scowl on her face. “Please make yourself at home.”

  “Lexi, I need to apologize.”

  She looked away, biting down on her bottom lip. It took her a couple of minutes to find her voice, but when she did, it pissed me off. “Brad, we were both drinking last night. We can just agree to forget the kiss ever happened.”

  “What?” My voice rose, and I shot up straight in my seat. Was she serious? She was delusional if she thought I could forget that kiss. I’d kissed plenty of other women, and not one had ever impacted me as much as the one we shared last night. Comparing that kiss only made the rest feel empty and insignificant.

  “The kiss.” She eyed me carefully. “You don’t have to apologize. I know it didn’t mean anything. We can just pretend it never happened and move on.”

  I pushed down my anger while I replayed the words in my head. How could she possibly say that kiss meant nothing? I felt the way her body reacted to mine, and she was trying to pass it off like it was a drunken mistake.

  “You think I’m apologizing for kissing you?”

  Her eyes blinked in confusion. “Well I thought… you know…” She shrugged her shoulders. “Considering what you said afterwards,” her voice trailed off to a whisper as regret started to fill my body.

  Running my hands down my face, I looked her straight in the eyes, making sure my words were loud and clear. “I’m not sorry I kissed you. I won’t apologize for that.”

  “Oh.” Was all she could say, clearly not expecting that.

  “Lexi, it was what I said afterwards that I need to apologize for, because it came out all wrong.”

  Her bright blue eyes grew stern, narrowing into doubting slits. “I don’t see how I could have misunderstood what you meant. Your words seemed perfectly clear to me.”