Hard To Stay

by S. Jones

  After playing a pathetic game of Kan Jam, I walked over and took a seat next to Brad. I had finished off my second helping of BBQ when he looked over at my empty plate. His lips lifted into a cocky grin.

  “Are you looking to get the same kind of punishment as last time?”

  My mouth fell open as he reminded me of our bet that night at the restaurant. “Brad,” I scolded, feeling my cheeks turn pink. “Not here.” I squirmed out of his grasp causing him to chuckle. “I’m going to help your sister in the kitchen.”

  He smirked. “You do that.” He then kicked his feet up on the deck railing, taking a long pull of his beer. He seemed in his element as he just stared off into the massive backyard and I watched as his uncle walked over and engaged him in a conversation about sports. This was the most relaxed I had seen him in days.

  I walked through the slider and brought the last of the dirty dishes to the counter where Lily was standing over the sink waiting for me.

  “So, how do you like living in New York?” She asked, as she placed the last dirty plate in the dishwasher.

  I snapped the lid on the Tupperware container closed and placed it on the top shelf in the fridge. “So far I love it!” I said, feeling guilty that I couldn’t tell her the circumstances that brought me to town in the first place.

  She chuckled. “Well, you’ll have to stay through January when it’s freezing cold, and it feels like you’ll never see the sun again. I’m guessing you won’t love it so much then.” She turned the water off, then reached for the blender holding up the margarita mix. “Care to join me?”

  Smiling, I walked over to her a little eagerly. “I’m never one to turn down a frozen margarita.”

  She picked up the blender filing our glasses to the salted rim. She handed me mine and held hers out. “Cheers.” We both said, clinking our glasses.

  “How often do you go into the city?” I asked, looking up from my glass.

  “Well, considering traffic is a bitch and I hate the train, not very often.”

  “Well, I hope I can convince you to come in more often. Brad has plenty of room at his place or you can always stay with me. I would love the company.” I took a long sip of my cool, tasty drink remembering that I needed to talk to Brad about moving back into my own apartment. I couldn’t stay with him forever, no matter how much I secretly wanted to.

  Lily licked the salt off her lips then smiled. “That would be great. I would love that.”

  I walked over to the kitchen island and slid onto a stool, Lily followed my lead. Sunlight poured into the kitchen making the gold and brown flecks on the counter shimmer. I leaned back in my chair and played with my Michael Kors watch when an idea popped into my head. “I know this is last minute, but if you don’t have plans later, we’re all going out tonight. It’s just going to be us, and a few of Brad’s friends from work.”

  Lily brought her glass to her lips hiding them behind the rim. “What about Gage?”

  Her question nearly caused me to spit my drink out. I whipped my head to hers in surprise. “You know Gage?”

  She looked up at the ceiling, playing with the hoop earring dangling from her ear. “I know Gage very well.” A look passed across her face that I couldn’t figure out.

  “Do you happen to know why they hate each other so much?” I asked, hoping she could explain the animosity between the two men.

  “I know exactly why.” She replied, looking past my shoulder through the kitchen window. “Gage and I hooked up a few times and Brad found out. As you can imagine things didn’t end well.”

  “Shut the front door. Gage Garrison?” I was so not expecting that. Things were finally starting to make sense.

  She leaned into the counter and pushed her hair to the side. “That’s correct!”

  “So what happened between the two of you?” I paused, still trying to wrap my head around what she’d just told me. “I mean if you don’t mind my asking?” Holy shit. Brad’s sister and Gage Garrison? How did we even get here?

  She was more than pretty enough to catch his eye that was for sure. And Gage, well… he was Gage. I just couldn’t picture the two of them together.

  Lily sighed, then nervously glanced around the room again to make sure no one was listening. “We dated secretly for a couple months before Brad found out.”

  “Wow. What happened?”

  My eyes searched for the blender on the kitchen counter. I wanted to make sure it was close by; something told me I was going to need a refill.

  “Brad thinks we only hooked up a couple times. He doesn’t know we kept it a secret from him for two months.” My eyes widened. Gage was such a tool. I kept my opinion to myself though, so she could continue. “As you probably know, Gage has a bit of a ‘reputation’. He’s really not the bad guy that everyone thinks he is. He just doesn’t let people get close enough to see his good qualities.” I simply nodded my head at the massive understatement, trying to imagine what Gage’s good qualities could have been. “He knew my brother would never approve. We were just waiting for the right time to tell him. But one night we were all out drinking. Gage and I snuck into the bathroom…” She stopped, letting me fill in the blanks.

  “Oh shit!”

  “Oh shit is right.” She chuckled dryly. “Brad walked in the middle of... well, something a brother wasn’t meant to see.”

  My hand flew to my heart in an ineffective attempt to regulate my breathing. The thought of Brad walking in on them made my chest tighten. I knew how much he loved his sister and I can only imagine how hurt and betrayed he must have felt. I only wish he would have told me instead of leaving me to draw my own conclusions.

  I cleared my throat and kept my voice low. “I can understand why you would be hesitant on telling him, but you couldn’t honestly think that he wouldn’t find out, eventually.”

  “That’s just it. We weren’t exclusive. Even though I wasn’t with anyone else, Gage pretty much did whatever he wanted. Brad would never have been okay with that, even if I was.”

  I cocked my head to the side. Did I just hear her right? Gage was fucking her behind Brad’s back for two months and still whoring around on the side? What a piece of shit.

  Lily held her hand up in defense as if she could read my mind. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re probably right. Just remember, before you go and judge him, it was my decision to stay in the relationship.”

  “What?” I asked, dumbfounded. Where the hell was that blender? Maybe another drink would help that comment make more sense. Even though we had just met, I knew enough to know that she deserved better than that. She was sweet and funny. Not to mention gorgeous. She could have her pick of anybody she wanted. Why the hell would she settle for that loser?

  “Love can make you do stupid things.” She said, as her face twisted in sadness, answering my question.

  Shit. She was in love with him. “The decision to keep it a secret was mine. Gage wanted to approach Brad but I wouldn’t let him. He thought I was ashamed of him.”

  “Lily, why would you do that?”

  She looked to the floor before lifting her head back up. “Because this all happened around the same time he and Emily broke up. I didn’t want to complicate his life any further.”

  “Lily,” I said softly. “As much as I love your brother, he has no right telling you who you can and can’t date.”

  She smiled warmly at me. “I knew I was going to like you.”

  I could see the pain and regret written all over her face. All I wanted to do was make it better for her. “You know what.” I said reaching in and refilling her glass. “Why don’t you come out with us tonight. I’ll make sure Gage is there and I’ll deal with your brother.”

  She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Perhaps I had. I could always blame it on the margaritas. “Besides, your brother is no longer nursing a broken heart. So, you have nothing to worry about there.”

  Lily let out a snort. “Wow, watch out. Little Lexi has some claws.”
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  She had obviously picked up on my sarcasm. Even though I’d never met Emily, I knew I didn’t like her. She would always have a piece of him and I hated knowing that I would never have his whole heart. It sometimes felt like I was competing for space, wondering who took up more room. Always wondering which one of us had the bigger hold on him.

  Shaking my head, I forced a fake smile trying to squash my insecurities. “I really don’t. I’m just trying to sound tougher than I am.”

  We both erupted into a fit of giggles. I really needed to lay off the margaritas if I wanted to go out tonight. I was a lightweight. And I knew if I had a few more of these that I would be out for the night.

  “Looks like you two are having fun.” I glanced behind me at the sound of Brad’s voice.

  I slid off the stood and wrapped my arms around him. He rested his chin on the top of my head as Lily smiled at us. “Lexi was just trying to convince me to go out with you guys tonight.”

  “She can stay with us, right?” I asked, drawing him in for a kiss.

  Brad stared at me for a beat. “As long as you promise to keep quiet in the bedroom later.” He whispered against the sensitive spot under my ear. My skin heated in places that weren’t appropriate in front of his sister.

  Lily covered her ears as I playfully smacked him in the chest for being so crude. I tried to ignore that pang of guilt for going behind his back. Tonight was going to be interesting that was for sure.

  Chapter Twenty

  Lexi

  Pulse was a popular dance club that had been recommended by a few people at work. Brad tried to shoot the idea down, insisting that there were much better nightspots in Manhattan. I wasn’t sure why he was being so insistent, but the plans were made and I wasn’t changing them.

  He leaned forward looking miserable as he rested his elbows on the bar. I crossed my arms under my chest and worried that he had somehow found out that I invited Gage. When I texted Gage and asked if he was free, he sent me one back asking if my ‘boyfriend’ knew I was texting him and that he was happy that I had eventually come around. I didn’t want to let things get out of control so I told him I was texting him on Lily’s behalf. That shut him up.

  Brad’s mood was starting to bother me, so when the DJ started playing my favorite Rihanna song, I grabbed onto Lily and Faith, pulling them both towards the dance floor.

  Brad stepped in my path, not looking very happy. “Where are you going?”

  I rolled my eyes and yelled over the loud music so he could hear me. “We are just going to dance, Brad.”

  He jerked his chin toward the bar where Sawyer and Lucas were holding court. “Is there a reason why you just walked away without telling me where you were going?”

  He had never treated me with such annoyance before. He sounded more like a pissed off cop than a concerned boyfriend. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

  He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. I was starting to get concerned with how he had been acting. This wasn’t about Gage. I knew it wasn’t. He would have said something if he knew.

  “Why don’t you go have a drink with your friends and when I’m done dancing maybe you can tell me what’s wrong?” I forced myself to spin out of his grasp and pulled the girls closer to the dance floor. I was eager to dance off some tension.

  “He’s really got a bug up his ass tonight.” Faith said, looking over her shoulder.

  “He hates this place.” Lily said. “I’m surprised he even came out tonight.”

  I raised my eyebrow and tried to figure out what the hell the big deal was. I couldn’t think of anything that would rationalize his behavior. It was obviously something more, something else he wasn’t telling me. Without knowing, there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. So, I let it go and focused on having a good time with the girls.

  This place didn’t disappoint. The sunken dance floor was pounded by crystal clear music. There wasn’t an inch of space available; the crowd had been growing thicker since we’d got here. I’d never seen so many people packed into one place before. I glanced around, noticing the double-sided staircase that flowed up to a plush looking VIP section on the second level. The scene screamed high energy and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Except Brad, who was scowling at me from across the club.

  After getting all hot and sweaty while dancing to more than three songs, we made our way back over to the boys. Brad pushed a freshly poured drink in front of me. “Looks like you could use this.”

  He was trying to act polite, but he was coming off as stiff. I wasn’t sure what had happened in the past few hours for his mood to take such a nosedive, but I didn’t like it.

  I grabbed the cocktail napkin from under my drink and wiped the sweat off my neck. “Thanks.” I took a sip from my glass and set it back down. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

  He lifted his head to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, for being such an asshole.” He looked me up and down slowly before his eyes made it back to my face. “You look beautiful tonight. You should be having a good time, not dealing with my shitty mood.”

  While I was happy that he acknowledged all the effort I’d put into my appearance, I was still concerned about his mood. “Brad.” I said reaching out and placing my hands on his broad shoulders. “Talk to me. What’s with the shitty attitude?”

  His fingers played with the curls at the ends of my hair. I’d spent plenty of time in front of the bathroom mirror making sure it was perfect. “You’re breathtaking, you know that?” He said, sliding his warm hands down my curves.

  “Thank you. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

  He brushed a kiss to my temple. “I’m sorry. Let’s just start over.”

  “No.” I shook my head and removed his hands. He wasn’t getting off that easily. Something had him troubled. “Explain.”

  He glanced around the club and shifted on his weight. “Trust me. You don’t want to know. Actually, I think it’s better that you don’t because you’ll only end up making a bigger deal out of it than it really is.”

  I parked my hand on my hip and stood my ground. “Start talking.”

  His face went hard, but he still wouldn’t look at me. “This is Chase’s club.” He swallowed and finally met my eyes.

  “Chase? You mean Emily’s Chase?”

  “Yes. He and his brother own this place. That’s why I didn’t want to come here. Too many bad memories.”

  I licked my lips, feeling my throat dry up. I kept my tone even as I forced the words out. “You should have told me. I would have picked someplace else.”

  I really would have. The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable. So, that’s what his shitty mood was about? Emily. Of course. Fucking brilliant.

  “Hey,” he reached for my hand. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

  “Obviously.” I said, a little too sharply. He narrowed his eyes at me.

  “I didn’t want you to change your plans. You were so excited to go out tonight. I just wanted to make you happy.”

  I was torn on being pissed or feeling sorry for him. I wanted to be understanding, but why wait until now to say something? Plus, it bothered me that she still had this kind of effect on him.

  Brad reached out and grasped my hips, hauling me close. His voice dropped low and rough. “Can you forgive me for being a fuck-up and for ruining your night?”

  I fought a smile. I didn’t want to admit how good it felt to have him back to normal. His thumb skimmed my waist as I wrapped my hands around his neck. “Of course, I forgive you.” I said, brushing my lips against his and burying my hands in his hair.

  He cupped my chin with one hand and planted his lips on mine. His thumb stroked along my cheek as his tongue pushed against my lips. I felt my breathing pick up. There was something about kissing Brad that always had me wanting more. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. Lucas, who’d just returned from the bathroom, let out a loud wolf-whistle. “Get a room, you two.”

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sp; I jerked back laughing and Brad released his hold on me. Lucas stood at the bar smiling at us while taking a long draw of his beer.

  Brad’s brown eyes were still locked on mine. “Will you dance with me?”

  “I thought you would never ask.”

  After we danced, we spotted a few of my co-workers on the other side of the club and decided to chat and have a drink with them. When we finally made it back to our spot, Lily looked like she was scanning the room for the nearest exit sign.

  “Hey. What’s wrong?” I asked, when Brad let go of my hand to go talk to Sawyer and Lucas.

  “I don’t think Gage is coming.”

  My hand reached out and brushed her long brown hair along her shoulder. “He said he was probably going to be a little late. Don’t give up just yet. I can text him if that will make you feel better.”

  She laughed, but there was no humor in her voice “I know, it’s dumb. I’m just nervous that’s all.” She was freaking out, and I felt terrible for her.

  I shifted my weight, considering her words. I tried to put myself in her shoes. “It’s not dumb. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little apprehensive. If it makes you feel any better, the only reason why he is even coming tonight is because you are here. Those were his words not mine.”

  “My brother is going to be pissed at you. You know that, right?” She jerked her chin over to Brad who looked like he was finally starting to enjoy himself.

  “Your brother is a very reasonable man. He’ll come around.” I said, hoping that the words would come true. I was half tempted to walk over there and tell him that I had invited Gage, but I knew if I did it would only cause more problems. He would have spent the entire night telling Lily how much Gage wasn’t worth it. She was already worked up as it was. The last thing she needed was to be interrogated by her brother all night.

  Brad caught my eye and shot me a wink. I walked over and placed my hands on his chest letting the heat from his body comfort me. I pushed the guilt of not telling him out of my mind and just enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms.