Fade to Black

by Unknown

  The ceremony at the gravesite was over after only a few minutes, then Kate, along with Jesse’s family, graciously accepted the sympathies from everyone. Olivia and Jordan approached the group, offering handshakes and hugs. Rich stayed off to the side, watching, fighting the tears that burned his eyes.

  Rich would have to pull himself together if he was going to have a conversation with Kate. He needed to be the strong one, the one she could lean on, the one to support her. Her eyes searched for him over Olivia’s shoulder and her lips lifted slightly when she found him standing in the tree line.

  Olivia and Jordan went to wait in the car while Rich remained hidden and out of the way. He waited—and waited—until every last person had left to go back to the church for a dinner in Jesse’s honor. The burial crew tried to convince Kate to leave, but she dropped to her knees and refused to move. Even Ken couldn’t persuade her to leave with them.

  So, standing between her parents, Kate watched as they lowered Jesse into the ground and filled in the grave. Rich could see her shoulders shaking as new sobs overtook her. It was difficult to watch, even more difficult to stay away.

  Kate begged her parents to leave her, to let her mourn in peace. Whether or not she knew Rich was waiting, he couldn’t be sure. It took a while, but finally her parents did as she asked and took the limousine back to the church.

  The tires crunched against the gravel road until becoming nearly silent when they hit the asphalt. At almost the same moment, Kate fell to her knees, her whole body shaking with sobs. “I’m sorry, Jesse,” she slurred the words, “so very sorry. This is all my fault.” Her whispers carried over the silence, breaking what was left of the remnants of Rich’s heart.

  The leather of his dress shoes slowly moved toward her, hushed by the drizzling rain that had started back up only moments ago. He dropped to his knees just behind her and took her by the shoulders. “Shh,” he comforted her, “this is not your fault, Kate. I won’t let you take the blame for any of this.”

  Her limp body fell back into his embrace and he pulled her into his lap, holding her as she cried. His lips kissed the tears from her cheeks. After a few minutes, when she had gained a bit of control over her emotions, Rich helped her to her feet and led her toward the tree line away from any prying eyes, to a place that might shield them from some of the moisture.

  With her hands tightly in his, Rich kissed her knuckles. “Kate, are you okay?” Stupid question.

  “I will be.”

  “I’m here, love. We’ll get through this.”

  She took a step away from him and held up her hands in surrender. “I can’t do this, Rich.” Her hands waved between them. “Don’t you get it? Jesse lost his life because of me, because of us. He had faith in me right up until the very end. I can’t dishonor his memory by jumping right into your arms. He deserves better than that.”

  “But you love me, Kate.”

  “Shh!” she hissed, her eyes flashed with an infuriated intensity that caused Rich to take a step back. “Don’t you say that. Someone might hear you.” She looked over her shoulder at the empty cemetery for eavesdroppers. Her face softened as the tears continued their descent down her cheeks. “Rich,” she whispered, “I need some time.”

  “Of course, love, I’ll help you.”

  “No.” She shook her head, and his stomach jumped into his throat. “I have to work through all of this on my own.”

  “I will do whatever you ask, Kate. I owe you that much.” Taking her hand, he pressed it to his erratically beating heart. “You feel that, Kate? You are the reason my heart beats. You’re the reason my lungs breathe. You, Kate Callahan, are my reason for living. Just answer me one question before I honor your request.”

  She nodded and eventually teary eyes met his.

  “Do you love me, Kate?”

  The tears broke the banks and slid steadily down her cheeks. “Yes,” she croaked, “heaven help me.” Her head moved back and forth in an agonized motion. “I do love you, Rich. That’s what makes this all so damned hard. Please let me work through my feelings. I’m just asking you for a little time.”

  “How much time?”

  “I don’t know.” Her answer was barely audible.

  “When are you coming home?”

  “Rich, I am home.”

  He placed a hand on her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. “When will you come back to me?”

  Her hand covered his as she sighed. “I don’t know.” She broke contact with a single step backward. “I’m sorry, but I just…I don’t know.”

  Taking the last chance he had, Rich closed the small distance she’d created and wrapped her in his arms letting his feelings for her seep through their bodies. His lips crashed into hers then paused, waiting for her to respond. When she did, he increased the intensity, moving his tongue along her lip. She opened to him, and Rich was able to taste her. Everything about her captivated him. He loved everything about her.

  Rich broke the kiss, leaving her breathless. “Kate, I will walk away but only because you are asking me to. My heart is breaking. There is nothing I want more than to spend every second of every day showing you just how much I love you.” His head dropped down to press a kiss just below her ear. “Kate, please don’t ask me to leave. Please….”

  Her voice cracked as she spoke the words he knew were coming. “Rich, I’m sorry.” Tears flowed down her cheeks without any barriers. He could see the pain in her eyes, feel the pain radiating in her voice.

  Grateful for the dark glasses that hid his own emotions, Rich bit his lip, blinked back his own tears, and kissed her for the last time. “Goodbye, Kate. Don’t you ever forget that I love you.” Then, with no other choice, Rich turned on his heel and walked away from the only thing left in his life that mattered.

  Part Two

  Moving On

  **

  six months later

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Hi Jesse.” Kate sank slowly to her knees beside the headstone that read Jesse Vasquez. Beloved son, brother and friend. “So I’m probably a little late with the information since he’s most likely standing right there next to you, but your dad passed on. I stayed after you…left…to be here for him—just like you wanted to be.”

  The late June sun beat down on the back of her neck. Her fingers brushed across the cold granite before smoothing a tear away with an icy touch. “It’s been hard without you, Jesse. You didn’t deserve this. I’m sorry. I’ll probably be leaving soon, especially if Mom has her way. I will never forget you…no matter what happens in the future. I loved you, Jesse.” Pressing a kiss to her hand, Kate touched the headstone then struggled to get to her feet. Her face lifted toward the sky and she smiled into the clouds. “Hey, Tony, do a jig for me.” The wind kicked up around her, and Kate could have sworn Tony’s laughter was on the breeze.

  The walk home was slow, only because Kate couldn’t force her feet to move any faster. Decisions had to be made. Her parents weren’t going to sit around and let her coast through life forever. Utah did hold a lot of things for her; a promising career, a new house—purchased sight unseen—a man, who, despite her best efforts to push him away, refused to give up on her…and guilt. A lot of guilt.

  Hiding out in Flagstaff, Kate could pretend that her perfect life hadn’t fallen apart. That Jesse hadn’t been murdered because of choices she’d made, and that at the time she was desperately in love with another man. Nobody here knew the truth. In Utah, though…they all did. Olivia, Jordan, Nate, Roxy. Hell, Dale probably knew too. And Rich…

  Her heart clenched at even the thought of his name. Kate missed him so much, but couldn’t bring herself to even answer his calls anymore. The crazy bitch, that was now his ex-wife, had already taken the life of one man that Kate loved. Maybe if she stayed away from Rich, Shea would leave him alone. And if she didn’t… Well, the distance Kate had created between them would make it so his death wouldn’t hurt quite so much.

  The sun was fading in the sk
y making the temperature perfect. A bird sat in a tree over the sidewalk singing a happy, carefree tune. As Kate rounded the corner, her parents’ house came into view. Her mother sat on the porch with a vase of familiar flowers next to her. Kate groaned. Anna was preparing for the exact conversation Kate was dreading.

  Anna jumped up and ran over to Kate, taking her arm. “Kate, I’ve been so worried about you. Next time, please, take your cell phone so that you can call me.”

  “Oh, Mom, stop being so…motherly.” Kate kissed her cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”

  Anna matched her pose and they walked toward the porch, daughter resting her head on her mother’s shoulder. “So, um, today’s Friday…flower delivery day.” She picked up the vase in her hand and carried it into the kitchen. “It seems that there’s at least one thing waiting for you in Utah.”

  “Mom, there was nothing…” Kate lied…again.

  “Kate, I don’t care if there was something—” She coughed, cleared her throat and smiled. “—between you and Rich then. The point is that he obviously cares about you now.”

  “He may care now, but will he still care when he finds out that I betrayed him?”

  The vase slid across the table with a scratching sound. “Katie, I think you should have a little faith in him.”

  Silence filled the space between them as Kate filled a glass with water and slowly drank it. There was little doubt that her mother could be—and would be—horribly persistent. It didn’t matter that going back to Utah was the best thing for Kate. Seeing Rich again scared the hell out of her.

  “Kate,” her mom said softly, waiting until she looked at her. “A man doesn’t send you flowers every week for six months just because he doesn’t have anything better to do with his money. How long has he loved you?”

  Kate’s stomach tightened into a knot, and she considered lying, denying that Rich loved her, but that would have been far too painful. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Fine, it doesn’t matter. The fact is that he does, am I right?” Kate opened her mouth to scold her mother again, but she held her hands up in surrender. “Sorry. We won’t talk about Rich. I do want to talk about you, though. Hiding out here in your mother’s home like a scared little girl isn’t working anymore. You have a life to get back to. How long do you think your patient boss is going to hold your job? It’s already been six months.”

  “I know, Mom.” Her voice sounded just like it did in high school when Kate was tired of hearing her mother’s reprimand—especially when Kate knew she was right. “How ‘bout I make you a deal?”

  “I’m listening.” Anna raised a brow.

  “I’ll stay for the July 4th celebration then I’ll go back to Utah.”

  Tears filled Anna’s eyes and she rushed to hug Kate, her arms pulled her tight. “Katie, I know this time has been really hard on you. I can only imagine, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’ll only be a phone call away. The people at the station care about you. Josh and Sophia have already done so much and would do anything else you asked.”

  Josh and Sophia had gone above and beyond the common courtesies one offered a friend. They’d completely cleaned out her apartment; selling, donating, or trashing everything but pictures. They’d dealt with the apartment manager, convincing him that letting her out of the lease was the only decent thing to do. Josh had even bought out Jesse’s half of the garage, paying Kate the proceeds. “To move on,” he’d said. Kate tried to protest but he wouldn’t hear of it, stuffing the check deeper into her fist. “Kate, it’s what Jesse would have wanted.” Those words did it, and she accepted the money with the promise to put it as a down payment on a house.

  The very next day, her phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Miss Callahan?”

  “Yes.” It was always an eerie feeling when someone addressed her so formally on her cell phone.

  “This is Joyce McNary with National Life Insurance Company. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “How did you…”

  “Miss Callahan, I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but we’ll make this as easy as possible.”

  “I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?” Kate stammered.

  “Mr. Vasquez’s life insurance policy.” Her tone was a tad irritated, which added to Kate’s confusion.

  “Jesse had a…”

  “…had a life insurance policy that named Miss Kate Callahan as his sole beneficiary.”

  “But…”

  “Would you like me to mail you the check, or is there an account you’d like the money wired to?”

  Kate’s head was spinning so fast there was no way she could wrap her brain around what this woman was telling her. She dug her knuckles into her temples trying desperately to rub the confusion away. “Can you stop talking for a second?” She stopped immediately. “I don’t understand any of this. Why would he…?”

  “He wanted you to be taken care of in the event he couldn’t do it anymore.”

  Guilt-induced tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Kate didn’t deserve his love, his trust, or the money that would only be hers in the event of his death. A death that never would have come if she…

  “Kate?” Her mom’s voice brought Kate back to the here and now.

  “Yeah.” She shook her head. “I’m going to go upstairs and call Dale.”

  Her mother hugged her. “You’ll get through this, baby girl. Eventually your heart will mend. Don’t lock it up forever.”

  Easier said, than done, Kate thought as she left her mother in the kitchen. She wondered how long it would take Rich to find out that she was coming home.

  The ice cold bottle was welcome in his hand, a sorry excuse for antiseptic that would never fully numb the pain that was his constant companion. There was nothing, except for Kate’s return, that could heal the pain Rich felt. He lifted the bottle to his lips and tipped the last bit of Guinness down the back of his throat.

  “Dude, you look like hell,” a familiar voice thundered from behind him. Nate pulled out a seat next to him and plopped down.

  “What can I get you, Nate?” Fergie, the waitress that kept the alcohol coming every night, asked as she rubbed her hands on the white towel that was stuffed between her tight belly and short shorts.

  “I’m good, Fergie, thanks. Just checking on my drunk buddy here.”

  “Let me know if you change your mind.” She turned around and flirted with a group of college guys at the next table.

  “So…”

  “I don’t want to hear it, Nate.” The words were more slurred than Rich would have liked. His tongue was obviously intoxicated, but the rest of him had barely registered the dulling effect that had been his goal.

  “I’m just trying to get my facts straight. How long has it been?”

  “Five months, two weeks and three days.”

  Nate bit on his lip and moved his head up and down in an exaggerated nodding motion. “Replay things for me.”

  Air rushed out of Rich’s mouth, dousing Nate in an alcohol soaked breath. “I really don’t want to relive it. The first time was hard enough.”

  “Humor me.”

  “Fine,” Rich growled, his mind returned to Valentine’s Day as if it were yesterday.

  Rich pulled the rental car up in front of Kate’s parents’ house and cut the engine. There were no cars in the driveway and no other signs of life coming from the house. A lump formed in his throat, and suddenly Rich had serious doubts with regards to the surprise he had. Maybe he was going to be the one surprised.

  He sucked in a deep breath and yanked on the door handle. He stepped out, his back and legs stiff from the two-hour drive. The journey to the door was only a few short steps, but seemed to take an eternity. He raised a fist to knock, considered the doorbell for a second then finally let his knuckles meet wood.

  Seconds passed, but felt like years.

  He rang the doorbell then shifted nervous weight from one foo
t to the other. “Damn,” he muttered, preparing to return to the car for his phone.

  “I’m coming!” a sweet voice called from the other side of the door.

  Relief washed over him as the locks were flipped and the door opened with a soft squeak.

  “I’m sorry, I…” Her big green eyes widened. “Rich!” she squealed, launching herself into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist as her arms took his neck in a death grip.

  “I have missed you,” he whispered in her ear.

  As if his voice woke her, she gasped, wiggled out of his embrace, and gawked at him. “What are you doing here?” she asked, tugging him inside and closing the door.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.” He held up his hands when she opened her mouth. “I know you’re uncomfortable having me on Jesse’s turf. I’ve got us a room in Sedona.”

  She smiled and looked so beautiful in her black and red plaid, flannel pajamas. Her normally sleek locks were pulled back into a disheveled ponytail that sat more to one side than the other. Dark lines marred the perfection under her eyes, remnants of the mascara she’d worn to bed.

  “Sleeping late?” he teased.

  Horrified eyes looked down at her appearance. She crossed her arms over her chest, and Rich was sure there wasn’t a bra under that long sleeved t-shirt. “Give me um, give me a minute.” She turned on her heel, took two quick steps toward the stairs, stopped, whirled around and ran back to him. He opened his arms, welcoming her. It felt so good to have her soft body pressed hard to his. “I love you,” she said before her warm lips gently kissed him.

  **

  Their getaway had been perfect, a communion of two souls. They’d played hard and loved harder. He couldn’t even begin to count the times he’d made love to her—with her. Then he’d returned to the ice and snow of Salt Lake just in time to have her shut him out a week later.