Kindertransport

by Diane Samuels

  EVA. What if I can’t be wise?

  HELGA. The weather here is lovely at the moment. The garden is looking beautiful. I wish I could bring it all with me over to England.

  EVA. Will I get led like the Egyptians into the sea and drown forever?

  HELGA. I am so looking forward to seeing you again and meeting your lovely English family. All my love. Mutti.

  Banging on the door.

  LIL (off). Let me in, Evelyn. I won’t go away until you do.

  EVELYN. Let me be.

  LIL (off). You’ve had far too much time to be. That’s enough.

  EVELYN. Please go away, Mum.

  LIL (off). I’ll call the fire brigade if I have to. I’ll say that the door’s jammed . . .

  EVELYN. No!

  LIL (off). I will!

  EVELYN. Go away.

  LIL (off). I’ll go and phone them now if you like.

  EVELYN goes to the door. She unlocks it. LIL enters.

  I gave her hell.

  EVELYN is silent.

  The state of this place.

  EVELYN closes the door and locks it behind LIL.

  Now what are you doing?

  EVELYN. I don’t want anyone coming in.

  LIL. There’s no point locking the safe after the robber’s been and gone.

  EVELYN. I have to work out what to do.

  LIL. How about airing this room for starters.

  EVELYN lights up a cigarette. She offers one to LIL.

  I’m not meant to.

  EVELYN. Just one. Keep me company.

  LIL. I thought you’d given up.

  EVELYN. I have.

  LIL takes one and EVELYN lights it up.

  LIL. She didn’t mean what she said.

  EVELYN. She meant it.

  LIL. It’s probably still leftovers from her dad going. You’re here to blame.

  EVELYN. This has got nothing to do with her father.

  LIL. She’s always been hyper-sensitive.

  EVELYN inhales deeply.

  I don’t understand you.

  EVELYN. Thought you knew me better than I know myself.

  LIL. Not when you behave like this, I don’t.

  EVELYN. You think I’m paranoid too, do you?

  LIL. I do at the moment.

  EVELYN. Do you think I’m stiff as well?

  LIL. You can be.

  EVELYN. A terrible mother?

  LIL. Not usually.

  EVELYN. In what way am I being a terrible mother?

  LIL. Locking her out when you should look her in the eye.

  EVELYN. She hates me.

  LIL. Why should she hate you? She’s your daughter.

  EVELYN. That’s why she hates me.

  LIL. Stuff and nonsense.

  EVELYN. You heard the abuse she threw at me.

  LIL. She was upset.

  EVELYN. She’ll never understand.

  LIL. Let her get used to the idea.

  EVELYN. She’ll always blame me.

  LIL. You’ve not done anything wrong.

  EVELYN. We’ve all done something wrong.

  LIL. Speak for yourself.

  EVELYN. You told her.

  LIL. She found those letters and photos and God knows what else. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

  EVELYN. Who confirmed it?

  LIL. What was I meant to do? Lie?

  EVELYN. It is not necessary to lie.

  LIL. You shouldn’t have kept them.

  EVELYN. That’s not the point.

  LIL. To be honest, Evelyn, I don’t think it’s such a big deal.

  EVELYN. My daughter hates me and it’s not a big deal?

  LIL. You’re the one who’s making her hate you.

  EVELYN. The whitewash has been stripped away and underneath is pure filth.

  LIL. Now you’re making no sense at all.

  EVELYN. The more she knows, the worse it gets.

  LIL. It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter any more.

  EVELYN. Oh. It matters.

  LIL. You’ll put yourself over the edge if you’re not careful.

  EVELYN. Where else is there to go?

  Sounds of children’s chatter and train noises.

  EVA very reluctantly puts a gas mask box on a string round her neck and picks up her small suitcase.

  EVA. Will you visit me?

  LIL. I said, didn’t I.

  EVA. And you tell Mutti and Vati how to find me when they come?

  LIL. What did I say, Eva. Don’t you trust me?

  EVA. I have to be sure.

  LIL. Have you got everything?

  EVA. Teacher’s already checked me.

  LIL. Let me check you again.

  EVA. Why?

  LIL. Why’d you think? To be sure. What you got?

  EVA. Bag.

  LIL. Just one?

  EVA. Yes.

  LIL. Gas mask?

  EVA. Yes.

  LIL. Sandwiches?

  EVA. Yes.

  LIL. You’re not wearing that jewellery are you?

  EVA. I have to.

  LIL. Anything could happen to it.

  EVA. I’m not taking it off.

  LIL. Give it me. I’ll take it home . . .

  EVA. I’m not taking it off.

  Train whistle blows.

  LIL. Better get a move on.

  LIL takes out a label.

  EVA. Why do I have to go now? There’s no war.

  LIL. It could start any time. All the children’s going. We can tie it to your button hole.

  EVA. Mummy Miller . . .

  LIL. Where shall we put it then?

  EVA. I saw someone on the platform.

  LIL. Who?

  EVA. He’s coming to get me.

  LIL. Who is?

  EVA. He’s waiting in the shadows.

  LIL. There’s no one there.

  EVA. Don’t make me go.

  LIL. Nora and Margaret’s going with their classes aren’t they? It’s not just you being evacuated. All the children have got to go. You’ll be a heck of a lot safer out of the city. Keep still now. I can’t get a grip.

  EVA (looking around). Let me go tomorrow.

  LIL. I said. There could be war any day. D’you want to be bombed to bits, gassed till you choke?

  EVA. I might never come back.

  LIL. It’s my job to care about what happens to you, even if you don’t.

  EVA. But . . .

  LIL. No buts. I want you safe and out of it.

  EVA. But what about you and Uncle Jack?

  LIL. Don’t you worry about us.

  EVA. But I do.

  LIL. You’ll thank me one day. (Finishing the label.) It’s on! Right . . . Bye bye, lovie . . .

  They hug. EVA clings on.

  Let go now.

  EVA. Don’t want to.

  LIL pulls herself away from EVA and puts her on the train.

  LIL. It’s for your own good.

  EVA. I’d rather get bombed.

  LIL. I’ll visit you at the weekend.

  EVA looks very miserable and starts to wave.

  Whistle blows again.

  Sounds of train about to start to move.

  EVA. We’ve got to stop! He’ll take us over the edge. Got to get away from him. (She starts to choke and cough.)

  EVELYN starts coughing.

  Sounds of train moving.

  This can’t happen! It mustn’t happen! Help! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Help!

  EVA leaps and lands with a roll, then lies still.

  LIL (off). Eva! Eva Schlesinger!

  EVA raises her head. She is dazed.

  EVA. Am I in the abyss?

  LIL. You’re with me.

  EVA. Did I get away?

  LIL. And how.

  EVA. Has the Ratcatcher gone?

  LIL. There’s no one here.

  EVA. Are you sure?

  LIL. I’m sure.

  EVA. He didn’t get me.

  LIL. Have you
broken anything?

  EVA (sitting up slowly). Don’t think so.

  LIL. You didn’t hit your head.

  EVA. Are you cross?

  LIL. Cross! (Realising she isn’t.) No. (She pauses.) I’m sorry.

  EVA. You’re sorry?

  LIL. Should’ve realised. Shouldn’t have made you go.

  EVA. The ground was moving.

  LIL. It isn’t what you need most.

  EVA. Couldn’t keep my balance.

  LIL (helping EVA take off her gas mask). I didn’t want you to go. More than Margaret and Nora. Don’t know why.

  EVA. You didn’t say.

  LIL. Didn’t want to upset you. If I’d clung, you would’ve done. Can you get up?

  EVA. Have I been very bad?

  LIL. No. Eva. I’m the one who got it wrong.

  LIL helps EVA up.

  EVELYN. What shall I do with the papers?

  LIL. You should’ve known she’d find them one day.

  EVELYN. She’s never searched in here in her life.

  LIL. Burying’s not enough, love. You have to get rid.

  EVELYN. How could I get rid of them? There are documents in there that prove I have a right to be here. Papers that will stop them from sending me away.

  LIL. Who’d want to send you away?

  EVELYN. Someone. Anyone. You can never tell. Who knows what they may be thinking.

  LIL. Who for God’s sake!

  EVELYN. The authorities.

  LIL. Your passport’s not in there is it?

  EVELYN. Not my current one.

  LIL. And your naturalisation papers?

  EVELYN. The first entry permit is. There might be other documents.

  LIL. Dig them out then.

  EVELYN. I don’t want to touch those letters and pictures.

  LIL. I’ll help.

  EVELYN pulls back.

  Don’t you trust me?

  EVELYN. Yes.

  LIL. I’ll sort them out with you.

  LIL brings the box of papers over and takes out a letter. She holds it out to EVELYN.

  Do you want to keep this?

  EVELYN looks at the letter.

  It’s personal not official.

  EVELYN. No.

  LIL. What shall I do with it?

  EVELYN (taking it). I’ll rip it up.

  EVELYN holds it.

  LIL. If you’re going to do it, do it.

  EVELYN is still.

  What’re you waiting for? Get tearing.

  EVELYN looks at the paper.

  Go on.

  EVELYN. Why are you so keen for me destroy everything?

  LIL. I thought you wanted shut of it.

  EVELYN. I do . . . I just . . .

  LIL. Here love, let me.

  EVELYN. No.

  LIL. If you can’t, I will.

  EVELYN. It’s mine not yours.

  LIL. Don’t be so daft.

  EVELYN. You’ve always done too much.

  LIL. How could I ever do enough?

  EVELYN. You took too much.

  LIL. How did I take?

  EVELYN. Too much of me.

  LIL. What d’you mean by that?

  EVELYN. I wasn’t your child.

  LIL. As good as . . .

  EVELYN. You made me betray her.

  LIL. I got you through it. Never forget that, Evelyn.

  EVELYN. You made me betray them.

  LIL. I was with you and I put up with you and I stuck by you. That’s what mothering’s all about. Being there when it counts. No one else was there, were they? And good or bad, I’m still here. Who else have you got?

  EVELYN. No one.

  LIL. That’s right, Evelyn, no one.

  EVELYN. And isn’t that what you always wanted?

  LIL. Did I start the war? Am I Hitler?

  EVELYN. You might as well have been.

  LIL. What have I done to you that wasn’t done in love?

  EVELYN. What are you? Some saint? . . .

  LIL. I didn’t have to take you in . . .

  EVELYN. Some saviour to all the world’s poor little orphans?

  LIL. I could’ve starved you or worked you . . .

  EVELYN. And what do I have to pay?

  LIL. I could’ve hit you . . .

  EVELYN. What’s your price?

  LIL. I saved you.

  EVELYN. Part of me is dead because of you.

  LIL. Nothing you say will make me walk out that door.

  EVELYN. Murderer.

  LIL. I kept you alive. More than alive.

  EVELYN. Child-stealer.

  LIL. Go on then. Bare your grudges at me. What else do you want to blame me for? What other ills in your life are all down to me?

  EVELYN. Shut up.

  LIL. I’m waiting.

  EVELYN. I don’t want to blame you.

  LIL. What do you want?

  EVELYN. I want it never to have happened.

  LIL. Well it did.

  Pause.

  Now what?

  EVELYN. Enough.

  EVELYN tears up the letter into small pieces. She and LIL proceed to destroy each item in the box.

  STATION GUARD enters.

  GUARD (to EVA). Can I help you, love?

  EVA. What?

  GUARD. You waiting for someone?

  EVA. Two people.

  GUARD. What do they look like, love?

  EVA takes out a photo and shows it.

  Well-heeled.

  EVA. Mother knows a good cobbler.

  GUARD. Right. Is that them?

  EVA. No.

  GUARD. They your parents are they?

  EVA. Yes.

  They look.

  GUARD (pointing). What about those two?

  EVA. No.

  GUARD. You’re not here on your own to meet them are you?

  EVA. Mrs Miller has just gone to cloakroom.

  GUARD. Who’s that then?

  EVA. She looks after me.

  GUARD. She knows where to find you?

  EVA. Oh yes.

  GUARD. Live in Manchester do you?

  EVA. Yes.

  GUARD. Not been evacuated then?

  EVA. No.

  They look.

  GUARD. Well, I’m afraid they don’t seem to be here, your Mam and Dad.

  EVA. They will come.

  GUARD. You sure they were on this train?

  EVA. They write that they come to me on September 9th.

  GUARD. But, it’s September 11th today.

  EVA. They must to come soon.

  GUARD. Look. Are you certain they were travelling from London?

  EVA. Yes . . . it must be . . . I got here from there.

  GUARD. You see there’s no more trains today from London.

  EVA. Are you sure?

  GUARD. Course I am.

  EVA. It can’t be.

  GUARD (suspicious). Where are you from?

  EVA. 72 Mulberry Road . . .

  GUARD. No. I mean, what’s your nationality?

  EVA. My?

  GUARD. What country you from?

  EVA (worried). I don’t live there any more.

  GUARD. Where don’t you live any more?

  EVA. It does not matter so much.

  GUARD. And where’s this lady who’s looking after you? She’s left you a long time on your own hasn’t she?

  EVA. I don’t know.

  GUARD (taking her by the arm). I think that you’d better come with me young lady.

  LIL runs up to EVA.

  LIL. Eva! Eva! Where the hell did you go!

  GUARD. Are you supposed to be looking after her?

  LIL. I just went to the cloakroom.

  GUARD. You should take better care of her. Can’t leave a girl of her age on her own. Specially nowadays. Could be an air raid warning any minute.

  LIL. She ran off. (To EVA.) What d’you do that for? You had me frantic. D’you think I like pacing platforms looking for you!

  GUARD. And what’s this about her being a fo
reigner?

  LIL (to EVA). The last train’s been and gone, love.

  EVA. We cannot to give up yet.

  LIL. We’ve been here three days on the trot.

  EVA. Please can we come back tomorrow.

  LIL. I don’t think they’re coming. (To GUARD.) I’ll take her now.

  GUARD. I asked you about her being a foreigner?

  LIL (to GUARD). Don’t worry yourself about it.

  GUARD. Got to look out for spies we have.

  LIL. She’s not a spy. She’s ten years old.

  GUARD. What about them parents she’s waiting for?

  LIL. Her parents are still in Germany.

  EVA. No, they’re not!

  GUARD. Are they indeed?

  LIL. Just leave it to me, will you. (To EVA.) I did warn you that this would happen.

  GUARD. What’s she doing here then? She should be in Germany with them.

  EVA. Maybe they’re in London.

  LIL. Eva. They’re not coming.

  EVA. They keep their promises. Always.

  LIL. Wars break promises.

  EVA. They must be coming some different way. They have their visas got by now . . . they have written to us that they come this week . . .

  LIL. They wrote that before the war started. If it’d broke out a fortnight later . . .

  EVA. I want them to come. I got permits!

  LIL. Believe me, Eva love, I want them to come too.

  GUARD. Well, I don’t.

  EVA. You are wrong! You are wrong! They will come!

  LIL. There’s no way through.

  EVA. There is!

  LIL. There isn’t.

  GUARD. If they put one foot into this country, they’ll be interned straight off. Got to protect ourselves.

  EVA. No!

  LIL. Oh Eva.

  EVA. No! No! No! No! No!

  LIL. I know. I know.

  EVA. No!

  EVA shakes with distress.

  GUARD (exiting). Should’ve stayed where she belongs.

  LIL. We can go to church and pray for them.

  EVA. I’ll never see them again, will I?

  LIL. They’ve got as much chance of surviving as we have. And I’m not dying and neither are you.

  EVA takes off two rings, a charm bracelet, a watch and a chain with a Star of David on it.

  What’re you doing?

  EVA. I don’t want these on me any more.

  LIL. Why on earth not?

  EVA. I don’t like them.

  LIL. We’ll put them away safe at home.

  EVA. How much longer can I stay with you?

  LIL. Don’t ask stupid questions.

  LIL takes EVA’s arm. EVA slowly moves with her.

  EVELYN rips. LIL picks up the Rattenfänger book and starts to tear out the first page.

  EVELYN. No. Not that.

  LIL. It’s in German. Horrible pictures.

  EVELYN. You can’t damage a book. I’ll give it to a second hand shop.

  LIL (picking up the Haggadah). What about this?