Ignite

by Sara B. Larson

  “I can’t wait to see it.” My voice came out breathy as his thumb stroked down the soft skin behind my ear. My gaze dropped to his mouth, and then he was pulling my face forward, slowly, so that I was weak with need by the time his lips met mine. I immediately melted into the gentleness of his touch. This was all I’d ever wanted and never thought I deserved. As his mouth moved on mine, all the longing and love I’d suppressed for so long surged up, urging me closer to him. Ignoring my back and my dirty clothes and everything else except Damian, I clung to his shoulders and pulled him toward me, until his body pressed against mine. He carefully wrapped his free arm around me, trying to avoid my back wound. But I didn’t care about the pain — it was just part of me at this point. I kissed him harder, deeper, wanting more. The taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of Damian was everywhere. He was my everything.

  And now I was his. Truly, officially.

  Forever.

  A knock at the door made us jump. Damian pulled away just in time for it to open and Rylan to walk in with Tanoori on his heels.

  When he saw us so close together, his eyes narrowed. I’m sure he could tell we’d been kissing — my mouth throbbed from Damian’s stubble, and my unscarred skin was probably red.

  “Alexa, I brought Tanoori to help you. But maybe you have all the help you need right now.” I could tell he was trying to control his anger, but bitterness still seeped into his voice, reminding me of the awful time when we were at General Tinso’s castle in Blevon, and he’d practically stopped talking to me because of my relationship with Damian. I thought we’d moved past that; I thought he’d decided to be happy for me no matter what. But apparently that was only when he thought I wasn’t going to give Damian a chance.

  Tanoori also looked at me with raised eyebrows, but she stayed quiet. Seeing her reminded me of the horrible reality we were all facing — of the devastating news I had to deliver to her. But at least it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

  “Well, do you want her help or not?” Rylan asked impatiently.

  And then Damian finally spoke. “Rylan, I demand that you apologize to Alexa at once. That is no way to talk to my fiancée.”

  YOUR WHAT?” IN his shock, Rylan didn’t even attempt to hide the half horror, half jealousy on his face or in his voice.

  When I looked past him to Tanoori, I saw she was trying to suppress a grin. She winked at me with a slight nod. “I wish you both every possible happiness,” she said.

  I couldn’t help but grin back, despite Rylan’s glower next to her. I was certain now that this was what she’d meant earlier. She looked truly happy for me — for us. I was grateful to have her there, to counteract Rylan’s dismay, which threatened to wreck my happiness mere moments after achieving it.

  “The man in the robes was found sitting in his room, Your Majesty, almost as if he were waiting for us.” Rylan stood stiffly now, having schooled his face into a mask of indifference as he stared at the wall above our heads. “We’ve taken him, Felton, and the rest of Vera’s attendants and men to the dungeons for further questioning.”

  Damian stood up slowly, reluctance on his handsome face. There was no time to continue celebrating our engagement; reality and duty beckoned us both. “Thank you for seeing to that, Rylan. And Eljin — any word on how he’s doing?”

  “Something’s wrong with Eljin?” The smile slid off Tanoori’s face as her eyes widened in concern.

  My own grin died as I also forced myself to stand, despite the exhaustion that weighed me down and the constant pain.

  “It was my fault, Tanoori —” I began, but Damian cut me off.

  “No, it was Vera’s fault. She angered Eljin so much he attempted to kill her, but in the heat of the moment, he forgot to keep his eyes turned away from hers, and she took control of him as well — and then commanded him to kill Alexa. She had no choice but to fight him.”

  Tanoori gasped, fear on her face. “He’s not … he’s …”

  “I didn’t kill him,” I said quickly, saying a silent prayer of thanks that Lisbet had reached him in time to save him. “I tried to only defend myself, but he wouldn’t stop. He was going to do whatever it took to fulfill Vera’s command. I … I didn’t have a choice. I’m so sorry.”

  “He was going to kill you?” she whispered, horrified.

  “I told you about what they can do.”

  “But now she’s dead. And Eljin … ?”

  “There’s no word yet,” Rylan supplied. “But he was taken to Lisbet’s room and she’s working on him. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He reached over and squeezed her hand, and Tanoori smiled thankfully at him. My heart ached when I saw him looking at her with such kindness on his face. I was afraid I’d lost my friend for good this time. When he glanced over at me, the coldness returned to his eyes, confirming my fears.

  “Do you think you’ll be able to help Alexa?” he asked Tanoori, looking away again, the impatience returning to his voice. “We need to leave as soon as possible.”

  Tanoori nodded. “I brought my sewing supplies. I’m not officially trained to do this, but I have seen it done before, and I am a decent seamstress. I think I can do well enough until Lisbet can help you.”

  I made myself smile, though inwardly I grimaced to think of the pain of having her sew my back together. I’d grown used to being healed by sorcery. It was much less painful and also a great deal faster than the traditional route.

  There was a knock at the door, and when everyone turned to look at me, I belatedly called out, “Enter!” after remembering we were all standing in my room.

  General Ferraun swung open the door and stepped in, with Deron on his heels.

  “Your Majesty,” the general said, bowing slightly, “I am so glad to see you well.”

  “As am I, to see you unharmed.”

  “However, because of the, ah, interruption to our normal schedules, another border attack went unnoticed yesterday, Sire.” General Ferraun looked vaguely embarrassed.

  “What border? What happened?”

  “If you could come with me, Sire, I will show you the report.” General Ferraun bowed again.

  “Yes, of course. And you, Captain? What tidings do you bring?”

  Deron also bowed to the king. “Your Majesty, Lisbet sent me to tell you that Eljin is doing much better, although he is still unconscious. She expects him to return to full health in two or three days.”

  “That is excellent news, thank you, Deron.” Damian glanced at Tanoori, as did I. She smiled briefly, relief washing over her face.

  “I also wanted to let you know that the body has been taken care of, and your room is being cleaned as we speak.”

  “Very good. Thank you.”

  Deron’s eyes flickered to me and then back to Damian. I recognized the look on my captain’s face — there was something else. Something he didn’t want to say.

  “What is it?” I asked. “What’s happened?”

  When Deron didn’t answer right away, Damian reached for my hand, as though it was already an instinct to turn to me for support and comfort. Warmth spread through my belly at the thought, despite my concern over what else Deron was about to tell us. “Do you have more to report, Captain?” Damian pressed.

  He reluctantly nodded. “Yes, Sire.” Though he addressed Damian, he finally looked straight at me as he answered. “The Dansiian man who was found waiting for us has been … difficult to interrogate. He … he is different. There’s something about him….” Deron trailed off, looking uncomfortable. “He refuses to speak, no matter what we do — except for one thing. He keeps repeating the same phrase, over and over.”

  “And?” Damian prompted when Deron fell silent again. “What is it?”

  “ ‘Bring me Alexa or everyone will die.’ ”

  There was a horrible, pregnant pause as Rylan’s eyes widened and Tanoori gasped. Then Damian surprised us all by laughing. “Is that all? It’s an idle threat from a desperate man. I know that everyone is probably feeling
very nervous after everything that has happened in the last few days, but I assure you, no one else is going to die. Especially now that Vera is gone and the rest of the Dansiians are imprisoned. What does he intend to do? Kill us from his cell in the dungeon? I’ve been close enough to him to know he’s no sorcerer.” Damian laughed again, and some of the concern — the fear — in Deron’s eyes lifted.

  But I felt the way Damian’s hand tightened on mine. He wasn’t as certain that it was an idle threat as he was leading them to believe, and neither was I. A chill ran down my spine as Deron grimaced in embarrassment and then chuckled nervously.

  “You’re right, Your Majesty. There’s nothing he can do to us, or he would have done it already. I’m sorry for letting myself get … superstitious,” he finally finished, after searching for the right word.

  “It’s quite all right. Completely understandable, Captain.” Damian smiled at him encouragingly, but I was close enough to feel the tension hovering around him. He truly was an amazing actor, because not a hint of his underlying concern was visible or detectable in his voice. But then his expression hardened. “However, you can inform this man that he’ll rot in hell before he ever gets within ten feet of Alexa. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, Sire.” Deron pressed his fist to his chest and bowed to the king.

  Tanoori had relaxed slightly, her expression much more calm, now that Damian had put their nervousness to rest. She looked at me and gestured at the bed.

  “Alexa, why don’t you lie down, and I’ll get to work on you?”

  Damian refused to let go when I tried to untangle our fingers and follow Tanoori’s suggestion, pulling me gently toward him instead. Ignoring everyone else, he said softly, “Together, we can beat anyone. You believe that, right?” He stared down into my eyes. “Please … don’t ever leave me again.”

  I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant — did he mean physically? Or emotionally? He knew I had to go try to save Jax as soon as possible. And we needed to talk about the man in the dungeon — and his threat. But, with everyone watching us, I didn’t dare ask him, so I simply nodded and shrugged. An ambiguous response.

  He bent over to press a brief kiss to the corner of my mouth and then straightened again. My cheeks burned, and I couldn’t bring myself to face the general or Deron. I could feel the shock radiating from them, even without seeing their faces.

  “General, let’s allow Tanoori to do her work on Alexa, and you can show me that report, all right?” Damian said, moving past me to exit the room.

  “Of course, Your Majesty.”

  I heard the sounds of feet shuffling and people walking out, and only when the door shut did I dare turn around. Tanoori stood there alone, holding a basket of supplies, a smirk on her face.

  “So, you and the king … ?”

  “I —”

  “It’s about time,” she continued with a wink.

  I stood there, my arms hanging at my sides, unsure of what to say. It was still so new. I hadn’t expected so many to find out what had happened so quickly.

  “All right, go ahead and lie down, and we’ll get you sewn up.” She took pity on me by not pressing the issue. “I’m sorry if this hurts. Would you like to drink a bit first? I’ve heard it can help dull the pain.”

  I did as she asked, not quite meeting her eyes again as I walked over to the bed. “I can’t afford to be drunk right now. I’ll just have to grit my teeth and bear it.”

  After I was lying on my stomach, I turned my head away from her and closed my eyes. I’d hoped I was so tired that I could drift off, but as soon as my lids shut, all I could see was the red stain of blood — the life force of so many, flowing over my hands, soaking my clothes. I opened my eyes again and stared at the plain wall instead as Tanoori gently lifted and tugged at the tunic, trying to pull it free from where the blood had dried. I winced but kept myself from making any noise as the fabric came away from my torn skin with a rip of pain.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured.

  “It’s fine,” I grunted.

  She gently pulled the destroyed tunic away from my back and then the bandage that was underneath it as I tried not to flinch or move. Once the humid morning air touched the bared skin, she paused. “I have to make sure the wound is clean before I sew it up. This will probably burn.”

  I nodded against my pillow, still staring at the wall. Even though I stiffened, I wasn’t prepared for the instant fire when the alcohol she used hit my exposed flesh. My back arched almost against my will, and Tanoori had to reach out and physically push me back down on the bed.

  “Hold still. I’m almost done.”

  I couldn’t answer her; I was too busy closing my hands into fists and tightening every muscle in my body in an effort to keep from moving. Within a few moments, the burning had receded, leaving behind a vague stinging, along with the throbbing pain.

  “All right.” Tanoori took a deep breath and blew it out between her lips. The sound was that of someone steeling their courage. “This is going to hurt. I’m so sorry.”

  “Just hurry” was all I said as I clenched my sheets between my hands and ground my teeth together as hard as I could.

  I couldn’t see if she nodded or responded in any way, but a moment later I felt her cool fingers carefully pinching the skin of my back together once again. And then the needle pierced my skin. Only by sheer willpower was I able to keep from screaming out. I knew she was moving quickly: I could feel her deft fingers working their way up my wound, but it wasn’t fast enough. Each pierce of the needle, every tug of my skin, pushed me closer and closer to the edge of what I could endure.

  “Tell me … about you … and Eljin….” I gasped in an effort to distract myself.

  She paused, her hands going still on my back.

  “Don’t stop.” I was practically panting in the short break from the torture. “I won’t be able to handle it if you stop.”

  “Right. Sorry.” The needle pierced my skin again. Tug, tug, pull. Pierce, tug, tug, pull. “I haven’t really spoken about this with anyone….”

  I didn’t respond, just continued to clench my teeth and nodded for her to continue.

  “When he saved me, I couldn’t believe it. I’d resigned myself to dying — and then this hero in a mask shows up at the very last moment. He was unbelievable. I’d never seen anyone do what he could do.” She spoke quietly as her fingers continued to guide the needle over and over again. “Though I’d lived with the Insurgi, it hadn’t been that long, and I’d never really seen any of the sorcerers do anything significant.”

  I focused on her words, pushed aside the unending pain, and let her story envelop me instead.

  “You saw how he was on that trek to Blevon. Not exactly endearing. And when I found out who he really was — I was so upset I refused to talk to him. But once we got to his father’s castle, something seemed to change in him. I’d catch him watching me, and I couldn’t tell for sure with his mask on, but sometimes it looked like his eyes were smiling.” Her hands grew still on my back. “That should do it. Let me tie this off, and then I’ll wash your back and get a bandage on you.” The bed creaked a bit as she bent over to retrieve her basket again.

  I breathed a huge sigh of relief now that it was finally over. My entire torso ached, and every infinitesimal movement caused a jolt of pain, but now that the wound was closed, it wasn’t as bad as it had been. “Go on,” I urged as she began to wipe down my back with a moist cloth. It must have been alcohol again, because it stung a bit when she went over the stitches, but nothing like before.

  “Things didn’t truly start to change until we made it back to the palace and you defeated Iker. Once he decided to stay and Damian put me in charge of the displaced women and babies from the breeding house, he started seeking me out. For silly things mostly, and I began to wonder if he might be …” She paused, her hand going still again for a moment on my back. “But I convinced myself I was wrong. No one could ever want me; I was sure of it. Not after th
ey found out I was damaged.”

  “Tanoori, no. You can’t let yourself think that way.”

  She began to wipe my back down again and gave a soft, self-deprecating laugh. “How can I not? After what I’ve been through … it’s hard to imagine any man wanting me … like that. Especially once he finds out I am barren.” Her voice was so matter-of-fact it tore at my heart. But before I could speak, she continued, “And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could ever want a man like that, either. For a long time, even the thought of a man touching me in any way made me ill.”

  The wiping stopped, and the next thing I felt was a soft towel being used to dry my back. My heart ached for her, for what she’d been through and still suffered because of it. I wished I’d known she was there — so close, this whole time. But even as I thought it, I wondered if it would have made things even worse, because what could I have done to help her? Nothing, except expose us both.

  “But Eljin was kind. He never tried to do anything inappropriate; he’d only come to talk. We are both outsiders because of the wounds we carry — even if mine are invisible to the eye. And that’s how it happened. He found me crying one particularly difficult day when I’d spent hours trying to find my friend’s baby with no luck. He asked if I would mind if he put his arm around me … and I wasn’t sickened at the thought. His touch was the first that actually comforted me, rather than hurt me.

  “After that,” she said as she carefully helped me sit up so she could wrap a new bandage around my torso, “he began to ask me to go on picnics with him. He’s surprisingly kind and understanding. We both have battle wounds. We understand each other.”

  I watched her as she looped the thick white cloth around me and tied it off. When she was done, she blew a strand of hair out of her face and finally met my eyes. I impulsively reached out and took her hand in mine, squeezing it. “He’s going to make it,” I said. “And I truly wish you both all the happiness in the world. No one deserves it more than you.”

  Tanoori squeezed my hand back, blinking hard. “You have to help Damian. Help him figure out what’s really going on and stop it, so we can finally all live in peace.”