Abandon (Midnight Saints MC Book 1)

by Iris Sweetwater

  “Use me,” I stated firmly. “Take my body, and ease your anger inside it. Let me drain your frustration out through your cock, and into my pussy. I swear, if you fuck me, I’ll never do anything so stupid again. I’ll face the crew, and Tony, and take the blame for my own childish behavior. But I want you inside me. No, I need you inside me. Please, we both need this. Take me.”

  He stood his ground, yet I saw the tense quaking of his muscles. He wanted to fuck me. Yet, he defiantly replied, “Sex isn’t meant for punishment.”

  “It can be. Think about it. Delaying an orgasm can be punishing, and still so wonderful. I’m wet just thinking about it. Not touching me between my legs, even when I beg, can be punishment or ecstasy. Denying me now, is a punishment. The issue is, you’re also punishing yourself, and that’s not okay. None of this was your fault. Use me, Seth. I’m begging to be fucked.”

  Sweat popped out on his forehead. He was fighting the lust. His dick was pushing against his pants, quite visibly. It was pulsing.

  I licked my lips and slid my hands down my pants to touch myself. I moaned when my fingers came into contact with my clit. I was teasing Seth, and it worked. Before I could remove my hand, he was unzipping my jeans. They, along with my borrowed panties, puddled around my ankles. Seth pushed my fingers away, and replaced them with his hot tongue.

  I closed my eyes and laid down, my hands balling up his sheets in my hands. I didn’t know how I got so fucked up that I ever felt the need to be with Jacob, or that now I was with someone safer, I still wanted to be punished. Not that it was the same thing as being beat the shit out of, but torture was torture, and as his tongue flicked along my clit, I was somehow comfortable at the edge of my fucking seat, knowing I wasn’t going to get to come. I would be stuck in that state of almost climax and in pain when I went to bed that night. But that was okay because I was getting what I wanted. This was the man I wanted ever since he saved my ass, stood up for me when they wanted to throw me out on the streets so they didn’t get backlash.

  "Fuck!" I called out as his tongue slid further down, finding my wet center and plunging inside like diving for treasure. He was like fucking Gene Simmons, reaching almost as far back as his cock could and hitting my g-spot over and over before pulling back for a bit and going at it all again.

  "Fuck what have you done to me?" he whispered into my pussy, and I didn’t know if I was meant to hear it or not. My hand went down to his short, brown hair. Recently cut, I loved the feel of it against my palm as I stroked through it.

  "I've made you mine," I whispered as I thrust into him, his tongue flicking me hard now as I began to sweat and breathe hard, his name on the tip of my tongue.

  "No!" he growled, his hot breath on my lips. I sighed in frustration, but there was a sick pleasure to it, just like I thought there would be. "You have it backward. You're mine," he gruffed out, yanking my panties and jeans completely off and shoving me into the center of the bed with one big push.

  My eyes zeroed in on Seth as he unzipped his pants and unfurled his cock. I didn’t expect anything gentle. I didn’t even know what that felt like anymore. I was ready to receive him any way he gave himself.

  When he ripped through me, I moaned out, my hands reaching for him and tugging his shirt over his head. When my nails found his back, they dug in, and my legs wrapped around him as we writhed together.

  "I'm yours," I sighed out loud as I got so close I could taste climax on my tongue, and he pulled out, releasing on my stomach.

  "Damn straight."

  Chapter 14

  Seth

  I knew at some point I would have to face the fucking music with Tony about the fact that I possibly put us in an even worse position by calling out Bonnie and Reagen. On top of that, I defied him by taking Reagen into my room and handling the punishment myself. I was sure it wasn’t the kind of punishment he would wish for her direct defiance considering she is basically a member of this club now. She hadn't been patched in, but it was this club she left to begin with when Jacob got kicked the curb. And he had stopped the shit with saying she was a spy, so the only other option was for her to be one of ours.

  Should've known a long time ago there was something even worse lurking under that pretty boy look of Jacob’s. Man, if I ever got my hands on that fucker, he’d never breathe again. Hell, I would smear war paint on my face using his blood to celebrate his demise. That wasn’t how you treated women no matter whether they were whores, no matter how badass you thought you were. That was the line you didn’t cross. Even I knew that, and I was a despicable sap.

  I left Reagen sleeping soundly in my bed, grabbing my cut and closing the door ever so softly. I made my way to the meeting room, knowing I would find Tony there. I wanted to see what became of Bonnie and then get this shit fest over with. I could be losing my patch for this, but with everything the club has already gone through, I doubted it would come to that. We had lost too many to the double-cross shit. We needed every man we could get. Tony had been scouting the streets for new prospects. I didn’t think he intended for me to know, but I was one of those guys who saw things.

  "Seth." He greeted me the moment I stepped in there. It was just him, me and Bonnie who looked none too happy. She had likely gotten more than the scolding of a lifetime. "I think it’s time you and I spoke in my office." I nodded my head in submission. "You, see if you can stay out of fucking trouble for fifteen god damned minutes," he hissed at Bonnie who crossed her arms and sat in the corner like a petulant child. I tried not to laugh at her behavior as I followed behind my Prez into his office.

  The space was too small. It didn’t seem like a big deal when you weren’t in trouble, but now it was about the same size as a solitary jail cell. I could almost feel his breath on me as we sat across his desk from each other.

  As an awkward silence fell over both of us, I turned my sight to focus on the room. It was the most boring one in the whole place, full of a basic desk and computer and all the paperwork the Prez had to keep track of. It was only while in this room that I remembered what weight was on his shoulders.

  The Prez along with the help of a few others, had to decide where the money would go, had to balance budgets, pay some taxes so we looked legit, and manage any scandals. He had to keep track of allies, intel, weapons, and members. It was a hell of a lot more than I could imagine, and Tony was new at this. He hadn’t even been VP that long before he had to take over because Maxum left us high and dry.

  "So, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Tony finally asked, his shoes making a thunk on the table as he put his feet up. I didn’t know if he was exhausted or trying to intimidate me.

  "Very little other than the fact women can make us crazy sometimes."

  Tony scoffed. "I never thought I would see the day you caught the bug, Seth. You didn’t seem the type. I mean, you like your women, but this seems more than that. You didn’t even fucking punish her at all, did you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

  "No one is as shocked as me, Prez, and while I did punish her in a way, I will spare you all the sordid details. I don’t have shit to say other than I think she might be my ride or die, and I couldn’t let her be out there like that, and with Bonnie, no less. It wasn’t fucking safe. I realize now I was too obvious about it. She knows better now, though. Seeing Jacob scared her shitless," I admitted. Was I ready to admit such a thing to her face yet? But maybe it wasn’t a thing a man like me could ever be ready for. It would always just be a leap off a bridge, blind to what was below.

  "Fuck, Seth, what are we going to do about Jacob and the Blue Diablos. You know as well as I do from how he was acting, even if his Prez doesn’t want to pursue any farther, Jacob will come for that woman. We need to be prepared. And then you would fucking think that after seeing Maxum there tripped out, they would fucking get that there was a double-cross. I think I need to plead our case again, maybe get them off our backs. We don’t need two powerful enemies."

  For the first time I saw t
he lines of stress on his face. I had to agree with the guy about what we needed, but I didn’t think much would come of going to the Blue Diablos. I got the feeling they had been on the cusp of becoming enemies for a long time and were waiting for a damn good excuse. the Prez leaving and acting a fool was enough to give them that. I didn’t think they were going to go back on it.

  "Do you need us there with you, Prez? You don’t have to bear this burden all alone. It’s why you chose who you chose to be part of your team," I reminded him, in case he felt like it was all on him. Prez or not, he had me, his VP, and the others to back him up. Those who stayed I was sure would be loyal to the bitter end no matter how this turned out.

  "I think I will in case it goes badly, but I don’t know what to do about the girls. Reagan may be done sneaking off, but Bonnie is so willful. She thinks she is going to be a patched member now, and I keep telling her it isn’t what her father would have wanted for her, that she should call her mother and work things out there. But she won’t go."

  "Her father was stubborn— not sure why you expect her to be any different." He smiled at that. It was good to remember our fallen comrade even if it still hurt just a little. "There must be a couple prospects who can keep their eyes on the girls while we're doing this. Once we figure out our next move then maybe we can figure out what to do about Bonnie. She could always do some grunt work to make her happy, and if she keeps being reckless, I'll strap her to my bike and take her to her mam's doorstep myself."

  Tony chuckled at that and nodded. "Thanks, man. I know we haven’t been that close, but I know you've done a damn good job in this club, and it’s why I made you our muscle."

  "Let’s not get too sentimental here, boss," I told him, slapping his arm as I stood up to leave.

  "Right, let’s be ready to ride in two hours. I'll find those prospects and the girls."

  Chapter 15

  Seth

  "Honestly, Tony, I don’t know why the fuck you're even here. You know how we feel about you, but I thought I'd humor you in case you came to pay the price," Kade gruffed out, his fist clenched on the table. If you were to picture a guy in his late forties who belonged running an MC, it would be this guy. He had never been one of my favs, but since their territory was so close to ours, in Charlotte and then the Crypt Keepers in Huntsville, Alabama, they were some of the only allies we could have against the mysterious Shadow Order encroaching in on us from Tallahassee. The rumor had been that they were Cubans first generation come to see what trouble they could stir in the United States. I didn’t know if that was true or not or what business a man like Maxum, a preacher for fuck's sake could want with them other than power and more drugs. But I didn’t buy that part of it. Maybe he had been into drugs. He was fucked up when we saw him at the charity ride, but there had to be more to him double-crossing us than just some fucking drugs. This went deep, but I didn’t want to stress Tony out more by bringing it up just yet.

  "No one is more sorry than I am about the fact that you came under attack by our former Prez, but as you can see, he is no longer among our ranks. When he attacked you, he had left us high and dry and put a hit out on me. Your own members saw him at the charity ride, tripped out and ready to kill his own. We have nothing to do with him or The Shadow Order, and I came to see how we could make this right."

  Tony was practically pleading, and I didn’t like it one bit. He shouldn’t have to grovel like that when he was almost killed. We did lose a man because the dumb ass sent for Tony couldn’t tell his left from his right. None of this was on Tony. Maxum had pulled the wool over his eyes and kept him at a distance for more than a year while he had been making shady deals and getting ready to sell out his own.

  "Look, that’s not what we were told when some of your men defected to us. I agreed to protect them, so you won’t see them here," Kade warned, and my hand was on my Glock at that point, ready for a fight. I had no idea any of our own had joined the Diablos, and from the look on Tony’s face, he didn’t know either. But it might have explained what happened to the ones who picked up and left, after we heard about the attack on the Diablos. "According to them, you planned this whole fucking thing. I don’t know who to fuckin' believe, Tony. We don’t want any trouble, but those men are outs now and have been loyal. I suggest we agree to disagree and just keep our distance."

  "And what about that hot head of yours who abused his woman and left her for dead for us to fix up? Is that the kind of loyalty you honor?" Tony asked, and I tensed. I didn’t really want to bring up to the Prez that Reagen was still with us in case there was a chance he didn’t know. She had been a member of the Diablos, and that could be seen as treachery if Kade wanted to be an ass, which he was known for.

  I heard a click and that’s when I saw Tony tense. Kade had a gun on him somewhere. I pulled mine as did the others, all of us waiting for orders. "I know for a fact we outnumber you even if you have all of the Saints lying in wait, so don’t even fucking try," Kade growled. "You're fucking lucky we let you keep that traitorous bitch and not take her back for a proper punishment. She is of no concern to us anymore."

  I clenched my jaw. I wanted to say something, but Austin looked at me as if he knew. We were more than outnumbered, and if we didn’t play our cards right we would be blown to bits before we could make it back to Reagen and Bonnie, and it wouldn’t even matter.

  Tony put his hands up and scooted his chair back, giving us a slight nod. Guns still out, we slowly retreated out the door and to our bikes. This was fucking humiliating, and one day Kade and the rest of those blue shit heads would pay, especially those defectors he referred to. The Crypt Keepers and us would be sure of that. We already had ten new prospects too. We would survive and come back when they least expected it.

  Pulling up to the clubhouse, something felt wrong. It was too quiet, not the way a clubhouse should be, even if it was a little early for some of the men to be up. Without orders or waiting for the other men, I let my bike fall to the ground and ran inside, getting back into the living quarters where the two prospects had been guarding Bonnie and Reagen.

  "Seth?" I heard Justin, the VP, call after me, the only one who had caught up with me, but I was already screaming, raging, punching the wall.

  The door was open, with no prospects in sight. Blood splattered on the walls, and Bonnie laid there completely out. There was no sign of Reagen. All I could see was red. I was like a damn bull ready to bowl everyone and everything over to get to her, to get revenge.

  "What the fuck happened!" I roared, and doors began to open, men and their whores hanging in the hallways in shock as they saw Bonnie and the blood. All I could think was that silencers had been used, and it must have involved a mole, someone everyone would have trusted and not sounded the alarm about.

  "Move!" I heard Tony holler, and the hallways cleared. He made his way over to where I was ripping the bit of hair I had out of my skull and placed his two fingers against Bonnie’s throat. "There’s a pulse, we need to get her to a doctor, now!"

  Austin and Jordyn, our Road Captain, came to scoop her up and take her away. I didn’t care. I could fucking admit I didn’t care if Bonnie lived or died. I just wanted to get Reagen and kill Jacob and whoever else had helped make this a possibility.

  "How did they know?" I growled at Tony. It was like they knew we wouldn’t be here!"

  He put his hand on my shoulder and looked down at me with sympathy that made me sick to my stomach. It made me think of the worst. I couldn’t handle that.

  "We'll get Bonnie patched up and ask her what happened. She's our best bet for information. Go have a drink, or two, maybe get some sleep. You're going to need to be at your sharpest for this."

  Sleep was the last thing on my mind, but it wasn't like he was wrong. I stumbled blindly toward the bar, one step at a time, and drowned myself until I passed out.

  Chapter 16

  Reagen

  I pretended to be asleep when I woke up in a moving vehicle. Lots was going throu
gh my mind, including the actions that led me here to this spot again, captured by the very man I had wanted to be done with forever. I could be blaming myself or perhaps Bonnie for her trust and idealism. Yes, I wasn’t much older than her, but that was why it seemed that way. She had been in this MC life since childhood and yet she was so naïve to it all still. How her father had kept her so out of the loop, I couldn’t fathom, but I knew if I ever had a child it would have to be different.

  A quote from The Great Gatsby, that classic we had to read in school to a room full of groaning teenagers, came to mind about how Daisy wished for her children to be dumb. Blissfully so. I could see how some people felt that way, but I didn’t. Dumb got you in trouble. If you knew the world was full of hurt and evil people than you knew better than to be too trusting. To walk the streets alone at night. To fall in love without questioning the intentions and true personality of the man behind the mask.

  I laid there and forgave her, remembering how she had been so welcoming to the ex-members of the Saints, thinking maybe they had been in hiding this whole time for safety. That maybe they had come back to us now to denounce Maxum, seeing the evil of his ways.

  My world is much more black and white. A man is evil or he is good, and I haven’t met a fucking good one yet. Let’s be honest here, even if I had feelings for Seth and he was no Jacob, he was also not a good man either. The difference was he knew it and freely admitted it. There was a sort of comfort in his honesty about the awful things he was capable of. I knew what to expect. I also would have known not to expect these men to come back to us like we would have open arms, and they certainly wouldn’t come straight to two women who could hardly be looked at as members if that were the case. But Bonnie thinks herself an extension of her father, a reminder of the man who died instead of our Prez that sparked this war to begin with.