Wand-Losing & Other Things You Shouldn't Be Doing

by Gabbo De la Parra

  To make matters worse (because hey, wand-losing wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to a governor), the other six cities had decided the honeymoon period with the Colviri had been long enough and demanded to know their actual plans regarding Aletta. Were they here to conquer them, to help them, to annihilate them? Max rolled his eyes. If the Colviri wanted to start a war, it would have happened already, right? He had been so caught up in his own emotional caca regarding Rezzu, he hadn’t had the time to act like the big shot in charge that he was and ask straight-faced what was the Colviri’s deal.

  But of course, his cock, who had never had an opinion before on political matters, had to interfere and sidetrack him during The One Thousand Ball. He made blasted Rezzu drink a little more than necessary just to have him buzzed enough to give him the answers he needed. But no, he had to be waylaid by how good Rezzu looked in his tailcoats, how broad his shoulders were, how mesmerizingly his eyes shone as they devoured Max more openly with each glass of Calvados.

  I should have yanked the info out of him when I had my finger up his ass.

  And naturally, to add insult to injury, his brilliant idea of procuring a wand for Rezzu had blown up in his face as if it were just another one of his reckless experiments. It was his mistake for thinking that Rezzu was prepared, not just to accept that the planet made the inhabitants conduits of its magic but to be willing to assimilate such a leap of faith and work with it without any training. Well, Rezzu hadn’t given him time to explain anything; he’d just stormed out of the Wand Shop. But what else could Max have done? Without his own wand to focus the power, the magic had gone haywire, exposing itself as they climaxed.

  Unos was making some truly silly, dejected sounds, unable to find a way to help Max. They were so pathetic even Luddi had come to find out what was going on. “Unos, play some music.” Anything to stop him.

  Luddi jumped onto the bench and rested his head on Max’s lap. “Oh Sweet ’verse, you too?”

  “I’ve never seen a peacock do that. Well, nobody is used to seeing you look like such a sad sack.”

  “Meidhre!” In other circumstances he would have stood up to greet her, but Luddi didn’t seem interested in moving his head from Max’s lap. He grimaced, pointing at the bird, and shrugged.

  His cousin waved her hand, dismissing the fact. She traced a finger over Unos, who played the Enolia Symphony, a one hundred year old airy composition made to honor one of the seven city-states.

  Max stared at his cousin. Any other person wearing such bright tones of orange and yellow would look like a lunatic, but Meidhre… everyone would agree that the sun was making love to her.

  “So, what’s going on? What’s all this gloominess? It’s not like you, Max.”

  “I did something I shouldn’t have done.”

  She put her hands on her hips and cocked her elegantly coifed head. “And what’s new about that? Your success is based on your uncanny ability to do the wrong thing to the best end.” She was more than correct, but right now Max felt absolutely out of abilities.

  “I know, I just…”

  “Problems with the cities?”

  Max shook his head. Technically the cities were about to be a problem, but they weren’t the main issue.

  Meidhre singsonged, tilting her body toward him, “Boy problems?”

  Max snorted, “Seriously, coz? When have I ever had boy problems? They are not problems, they are noo-san-ces.”

  “Oh, sweetie. It’s boy problems. You have that I-like-a-boy-and-he-doesn’t-like-me-back face. Who is he?”

  “It’s not that he doesn’t like me. I messed up.”

  “Aha!” She pointed at him. “Am I an expert or what?”

  “You are a boy. That’s what you are, a raging nuisance.”

  “Keep saying that I’m a boy, and I’m going to show you my boy bits.”

  Max didn’t say “Eww” but his face did more than scream it. Meidhre giggled with all the girly-ness she was capable of, and that was a lot. She addressed Luddi, “Hey, boy. C’mere, pretty boy.”

  Luddi perked up. If there was an attention-whore in Aletta— that was his pet peacock. Meidhre moved backward, calling Luddi; he jumped from the bench and follow her. “Show me. Who’s the pretty birdie?” She was using that voice people use with little babies and mini dogs, and it was annoying as fuck. Luddi spread his tail and started strutting for Meidhre. “Oh my gosh, so pretty.” She clapped and gushed like the spectacle was the best thing since the discovery of magic. After the (surely) longest two standard minutes in the galaxy, she sobered up, stood straight and pointed at Max, doing circles with the tip of her finger. “You, leave all that shitty mood behind and come with me.”

  Geesh, she sounds like the twins. Do I need to be scared?

  Max hurriedly followed Meidhre, who walked resolutely toward the Palace of Government. They reached the marble stairs connecting the garden to the building when Unos announced. “I have a message from Inall Brix.”

  “Proceed.”

  Inall’s fidgeting hologram appeared, “Governor, representatives from Garulia, Benvelia, Enolia, Criavilia and the capital are here to see you.”

  “They can’t just appear like that. It’s against protocol.”

  “Well,” Inall visibly dithered. “They said that when the security of the planet is in jeopardy the protocol is void, null, toilet water.”

  “I can’t believe they just compared the protocol, the one directive that guides our society, to toilet water.” His cousin giggled beside him. It was outrageous.

  “As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure they meant used toilet water.” Inall grimaced sheepishly.

  Cursing inwardly, Max huffed, “All right, gather them in the conference chamber. I’ll be there in a spell.” He turned to face Meidhre, “Sorry, coz.” Before Inall’s image disappeared, he remembered, “Wait. You didn’t mention Vimilia. No representative?”

  The hologram’s cheeks darkened, “Bertoldo Whinen said he had more interesting things to do while in Anatolia than to argue with its governor since at the end he’ll find out what the heck was happening, one way or another, and left for the shopping quarter.”

  “He’s right, five against one is already a gangbang,” Meidhre commented with a grimace.

  “I could sit you in that chamber as an advisor so you can participate in that gangbang, darling.”

  “Not my type of gangbang, sweetie.”

  Mine either.

  Meidhre kissed both his cheeks. “Saved by the beasts.” She giggled musically. “You deal with them, and I’ll deal with you later.”

  “Do I need to be scared?”

  “Not if you’re a good boy.”

  “You need to go.”

  She blew a kiss and glided away.

  Max entered the palace en route to the conference chamber with Unos trailing behind him. At the chamber’s doors, he adjusted his hat, straightened his cravat and pulled down his coat. Taking a deep breath, he opened the doors and found the representatives seated, eating finger food and drinking from crystal flutes. “Gentlemen.” Max stood, facing them with his hands behind his back. They had already broken protocol so he might as well.

  “Lord Governor.” Behof Leven from Criavilia went to his feet, tiny little feet holding a blimp figure, currently veering toward Max. The fabric covering his body could easily father clothing for a whole family. Excess had a very round face. “You need to tell us what’s going on with the alien force.” The other four bobbed their heads without stopping their face-stuffing.

  “It was my understanding that your governors had given Anatolia full control of the situation.”

  Tassio Palú from the capital, Perselia, audibly swallowed “They did, but a report hasn’t come forward, and the people of the cities are worried. We have no information to ease their concerns, and that’s making our leaders look bad.” Tassio was a tall, handsome man, but his expression at the moment made him seem a broken statue.

  “They have been he
re close to a standard month. It’s illogical that you still have no inkling to their purpose.” Garulia’s Hebba Lain stated irritably. His acid face contorted but never stopped chewing.

  Twenty standard days are not a standard month.

  Max rolled his eyes mentally. “Your lack of information to pass is hardly a reason for this meeting.” Max walked toward the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. The helpers had retreated as soon as he entered the chamber so they could talk privately. Their conversation was being recorded by the Palace’s main security system, but that was a different matter.

  Makia Vole stood up abruptly, setting his flute aside. “Benvelia is moving her troops to the Yerma Plains to assist Anatolia. The other cities are doing the same.” His handlebar mustache was ready to jump from his face in his agitation.

  To refuse them was practically a declaration of war, but their intervention could start one with the Colviri. “You realize they only have one ship here. No other is in the vicinity of our planet.” Max sipped his drink with feigned calm. “How do you think a show of force will appear to them?”

  “We don’t care. We want answers, and sometimes one needs to be a bully to get them.” Tassio shrugged. The others did their head-bobbing, agreeing.

  Max wanted to raise his voice, but he summoned control. He would show these idiots why the people of Anatolia had elected him to be their governor. “This is very undiplomatic. Hostile negotiations are never a solution. There’s always one party resenting them afterward. We don’t even know how powerful they are.”

  Behof had finally towed his considerable frame to Max’s proximity and put a bejeweled chubby hand on Max’s shoulder. “That’s for you to find out, Governor. You have seventy-two standard hours. After that, we take control of the situation.”

  The other six governors had sent this flock of morons to intimidate him. Disliking him wasn’t enough; they had wiped their asses with Aletta’s protocol, which clearly stated that any global decision had to be a joint decision. This was one of those moments when his own wand would have been truly handy to transmogrify the representatives into hairy crawlies and send them back to their masters in gift baskets.

  Am I screwed or what?

  ****

  9. BELIEVING

  Rezzu’s father sighed. “No. He did not.”

  “Yes, he lied to me.”

  “He didn’t lie, Rezzu. It’s not like you asked him if he had magical abilities and he said no. What are you afraid of?” Concern was not a nice visage on Kekoa Muselet’s face. Rezzu usually discussed these matters with his other father, but Darien Wanao was stuck in a meeting of the security council of Mireeh.

  “I don’t know.” He was clutching desperately to the fact that Max had withheld information regarding the inhabitants of the planet’s capacity for magic to keep his own feelings stashed in the shame drawer.

  “I cannot help you, if you don’t know what kind of help you need.”

  “Captain?” Dominik Czech’s voice floated behind him.

  “This better be important.”

  “The Alettans are assembling a military force outside Anatolia.”

  “I’ll get back to you, Father.”

  “May Meha guard you, son.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be in touch.”

  That was the difference between his two fathers’ approaches to things. Darien would have been all concerned about what the Alettans were doing and spoken words of caution. Kekoa would simply let him be; he knew that if Rezzu needed help, he’d ask for it. The first thing he’d learned at Academy was to set his pride aside and accept the advice and wisdom of others when he didn’t have his own answer. Many people had lost their lives for being stubborn. Max Maitheas was really doing a number on Rezzu’s behavior, and that needed to stop.

  “Can we talk, sir?” Dominik sounded hesitant.

  “Of course, come to my quarters.”

  Four standard minutes later, his first officer faced him with an anguished countenance. “As your friend, Rezzu, I’m begging you. Talk to him.”

  “He put you up to this, didn’t he?”

  “His assistant, Inall, told me.”

  “So, you have kept in touch with him.” Rezzu put his hands up. “I apologize. It’s none of my business. And it is none of your business what’s going on between the governor and me.”

  “At this point, it’s beyond whatever personal conflict you two have. We didn’t come here to start a war. We came to offer them our help.”

  “They’ve fared perfectly well without any help.”

  “I’m aware of that, but we have our orders, sir.”

  “Now you’re talking as second in command, not my friend.”

  “If I need to go there, I will. Sir.”

  Fine. It was time to forget what Rezzu wanted (although he wasn’t exactly sure of what Rezzu wanted) and start acting like a Colviri captain and de facto ambassador on this planet. Max was their connection to Aletta, and he needed to behave like an adult, not a conflicted child.

  “Let’s go to the bridge. This needs to be dealt with as a matter between two planets, not between two men.”

  Even if a space storm rages inside my stomach every time I see him.

  Dominik smiled. “Thank you, Captain.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. We might still be attacked, and I am authorized to defend us, if it comes to that.”

  A sorry nod was all Dominik could manage. They exited his quarters and walked swiftly to the bridge. As they entered, after everyone’s salute, Rezzu asked, “What’s the situation?”

  “They have land and air vehicles heavily armed according to our sensors, nothing really capable of damaging our shields, sir. But there is something else our instruments cannot quantify. They have shields made of a force we are not able to identify, and thus we don’t know how to penetrate it.”

  Magic.

  His crew needed to know what they were facing. “Open shipwide communications.”

  “Ready, sir.”

  “This is your captain. Brothers and sisters of the Oculus, it has come to our knowledge that the Alettans have the power to wield magic.” He let that sink in for a moment. A collective gasp was the reaction in the bridge. Some Nova Gaians performed complicated hand movements to ward off evil, and the Colviri, who were used to the magic of their goddess, only looked in Rezzu’s direction with wide eyes. “We do not know if they’re planning to use it as a weapon against us, but it is my intention to find out as soon as I finish this communication. May Meha guard us all.” He nodded, and the shipwide line was closed.

  “This is the variable that may cost us our lives, sir.” Dominik murmured at his right. He didn’t question how Rezzu knew about the magic, but it was probable that he himself already knew thanks to his proximity to Max’s assistant. It wasn’t important now.

  “Then let’s find out the rest of the equation, commander.” Rezzu turned one more time to the communications officer and said, “Please place a call to the governor of Anatolia.”

  “Aye, Captain.”

  In less than a standard minute, Max appeared on the giant screen. “Captain Muselet.” he inclined his head slightly, but didn’t say anything else.

  It was Rezzu who needed to start the match. The many standard days without seeing Max had enhanced all Rezzu’s idyllic ideas, and the aloof face but intent eyes made his knees weaken, assuring him his memory was pathetic. Max was ten times more stunning than he remembered, dressed all in black, which also hardened his features. “Governor, do we have a problem?”

  “We actually do.” Max didn’t say this apologetically. It sounded more like a very unwelcome burden. “The other cities want answers. Answers they seem to think are more easily obtained by force than intelligence.”

  “They will not accomplish anything by attacking us.”

  “That I know. I’m still the mediator between our planets but not for long. If they don’t get the responses they expect in the next sixty standard hours, they will do a
s they see fit.”

  “Do you agree with this?” Rezzu needed to learn Max’s position before acting.

  “I do not. Having a battle with an indeterminate force at the doors of my city is not how I envisioned our encounter to proceed.”

  Rezzu understood. Max wasn’t talking just about the battle preparations of his people. “Are you willing to meet?” Rezzu’s voice came out firm even though everything inside him was in absolute turmoil. He had denied Max so many times in the past few days, it was an absurd but still a real possibility that Max would refuse him just to get even, since he believed in leveling the playing field and all that. He held his breath.

  Max seemed to consider the meeting for several heartbeats. “I’m willing…” he paused, arching an eyebrow, “but we’ll do it in neutral territory.”

  “And where is this, Governor?”

  “The air, of course,” Max smiled, “Ambassador.”

  Dominik cleared his throat and said under his breath, “I don’t like it, sir.”

  Patting Dominik’s upper back, Rezzu said to Max, “How many?” He felt Dominik stiffen.

  “You bring four. I bring four.”

  “You provide the locale?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Thank you, Governor. How long do you need?”

  “A standard hour would be more than enough.”

  “You were prepared.”

  “Always, Rezzu. Always.” Max’s image easily dissolved, and the screen showed the plains where the Alettan forces were converging.

  “He called you by your name, sir.”

  “He did, and I know why.”

  “Really?”

  No matter their confusion and feelings toward each other, they both would defend their people. And in Max’s case, it wasn’t the Alettans in general but the people of Anatolia. Rezzu spoke softly but confidently. “He wasn’t alone, and he is on our side. Let’s get ready to play.”

  ****

  10. FLOATING

  The Colviri aircraft did an outstanding maneuver, turning sideways on its axis, and shot at the warkite. The protective shield sifted the ray, turning it into vapor. Another warkite came from below and aimed a couple of thermo missiles at the invading aircraft. The missiles exploded in the periphery of the Colviri vehicle without causing any damage, its own protections keeping it safe. They flew like this for several standard minutes, doing loops, chasing, zigzagging; four against four. Rays turning into vapor, missiles exploding harmlessly, a mock battle that only served the purpose of allowing both forces to blow off some steam.