by Anne Mather
'You still believe her?' Jonas was incredulous.
'I -I don't know.' Julie shook her head, unable to forget Angela's shrill voice as she hurled insults at him, the way she had deliberately scratched his cheek. 'I don't know what I believe any more.'
'Oh, for God's sake!'
Jonas thrust her roughly aside and strode out of the flat, slamming the door behind him. After he had gone, Julie felt utterly bereft. She grasped the door handle for support as everything began to revolve at an ever-increasing pace. She had the distinct feeling that she was losing contact with the world and her eyes blurred. Angela sensed what was happening to her. She grasped the back of her neck and pushed Julie's head downwards, forcing the blood into her aching brain. The faintness receded and drawing away from Angela she brushed past her into the living-room. She still felt sick and ill, and the last person she felt she wanted helping her at this time was
Angela.
The other girl followed her into the room and once Julie was sitting on the settee, she said: 'I'm going to make some tea. You look as though you need some.'
Julie made no protest and with an impatient look at her to assure herself that she was all right, Angela left her.
When she came back, Julie had not moved, and Angela clicked her tongue. 'Julie, for heaven's sake, take off your coat and stop looking so — so tragic! He's gone. And somehow I don't think he'll be coming back.'
Julie dragged her eyes up to meet the other girl's. 'I know that. But I may go after him.'
'What?' Angela was astounded.
'You heard what I said, Angela. I think you ought to know -1 still love Jonas, no matter what he did.'
'You idiot!' Angela was furious. 'You can't be serious!'
'Why not?' Julie moved her shoulders. 'It's the truth. I think I've known it all along, only I let you and Mother persuade me otherwise. And then, with Jonas leaving the country ..
'But you couldn't go back to him, Julie. There've probably been other women—'
'I've discovered that I don't particularly care any more, Angela. I don't have a lot of pride where he's concerned. What is it they say about half a loaf being better than no bread?'
Angela uttered an expletive. 'You're a fool, Julie. Just because you've spent a few days in his company you're deceiving yourself into thinking you can go back and live with him! What will you do if he gets bored with you? Form a menage a troisl'
Julie's stomach contracted. 'That's a horrible thing to say, Angela. Why can't you accept that Jonas is the only man for me? I can't be hard and sophisticated like you. I love Jonas!'
'You think I'm hard and sophisticated, do you?' Angela's mouth turned down at the corners. 'Just because I have more sense than to make a doormat of myself for any man? Men are exploiters, Julie, and it's up to us as women to exploit them first!'
Julie shook her head. 'I don't see things like that,' she insisted quietly. 'I'm married to Jonas, and as you pointed out yesterday that gives us some sort of a hold over one another. At least we might try to start again—'
'And you think he'll let you?'
'I don't know. That's something I have to find out.'
'How do you know that this isn't what he's wanted all along? For you to go crawling back to him so that he can grind you under his heel.'
Julie flinched. 'I've thought of that, of course. But I've got to take that chance.'
Angela stared at her with dislike. 'You are a fool, Julie. You really are. I didn't recognize it until now, but you're truly stupid!'
Julie got to her feet. 'I don't have to listen to that kind of talk from you, Angela—'
'Don't you? Don't you just?' Angela's composure was beginning to crack. 'And what if I told you I'd been lying all along? That it was Jonas who was telling the truth all these years? That nothing happened between us? What would you do then?'
Julie stared at her aghast. 'Are - are you telling me that, Angela?'
Angela shrugged. 'Why not? Why should I lie about it any longer? If you're prepared to take the swine back anyway.'
'But - but why—'
'Why did I do it, you mean? Surely you've realized. My God, Jonas has known for years.'
'Known what?' Julie still couldn't take it in. 'I wanted Jonas Hunter, Julie. It's as simple as that. And I'd have had him too if you hadn't started writing those articles to the paper and aroused his curiosity.' 'You mean - you mean you knew him - before—' 'Of course. He had a girl-friend who came to the salon. That was how I met him.'
'But - but you never told me—'
'Why should I? Seeing you with him made me sick to my stomach!' 'Oh, Angela!'
Julie realized she actually had it in her heart to feel sorry for the other girl. But where did it leave her?
Angela was turning away. 'Well, go, can't you?' she muttered violently. 'Go to your precious Jonas, and good ' luck to you! And just for the record, I did send that letter. You've no idea what satisfaction your separation gave me.'
'Angela!'
'Go! Go away. Get out of my sight.' Angela gave her one last contemptuous glance and Julie went, snatching up her handbag in the hall, and hurrying own the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her. But she had no idea where she was going.
CHAPTER TEN
JULIE stared blindly through the taxi windows, unable to recognize her surroundings even now. It was too dark, and the rain that was driving against them constricted visibility. But it couldn't be too much farther, she realized, not without some misgivings, and wondered again whether she had been foolish in coming here. But there had seemed nowhere else to go...
She caught her lower lip tightly between her teeth. Thank goodness she had had the sense to pick up her handbag as she left the flat. Without it, she would have had to resort to the ignominious humiliation of having to ask for assistance from Mark Bernstein, or another of her working colleagues. As it was, she had had just enough to pay her fare to Darlington and a little over for the taxi to take her to Howard's Green.
She drew her coat collar closer about her throat. It was late, after eleven, and Mrs. Hunter might well be in bed. And if she was, would she have the courage to waken her? She would have to. She could hardly stand about in the pouring rain till morning.
She shivered. But what reason had she to suppose that Mrs. Hunter would welcome her here? When she had heard Julie's story might she not change her mind about that casually offered invitation? Might she not feel as Jonas would surely do that Julie deserved no sympathy after the way she had behaved? Oh, if only she had not been so gullible, so easily deceived; so willing to doubt where no doubt existed! She had been thinking of going after Jonas, as she had told Angela, but that was before she had learned the truth. After that, it had seemed impossible. To offer forgiveness, to offer a chance to start again with the mistakes of the past behind them - that was one thing. But to go to Jonas having learned the truth and expect him to forgive her - that was something else. In his position she felt she would never want to see her again.
And so she had run away, a cowardly thing to do, no doubt, but at least no one would think of looking for her here. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing Angela until she had had the chance to get things into perspective again, and to go to Hampstead, to confide in her mother to whom Angela had always behaved like a second daughter, was totally unacceptable.
The taxi was slowing and she saw the lights of the village glinting ahead of them.
'This is it, miss,' the driver was saying, peering at the houses that flanked the road. 'Where is this house you're going to?'
'It's through the village - on the outskirts.' Julie sat forward trying to ignore the quickened beating of her heart. 'Look, there it is! Can you see it? The one set back amongst the trees.'
The taxi driver nodded and turned between the gates. To Julie's relief there were lights in the downstairs rooms as on the evening Jonas had brought her here, and she clutched her handbag tightly. The taxi came to a halt at the steps and she paid the fare before thrusting
open the door and scrambling out.
'Thank you,' she called, and the taxi driver gave her a brief nod before reversing expertly down the drive again.
Julie ran quickly up the steps to shelter under the canopy and rang the bell. It was some minutes before the door was tentatively opened, but when Mrs. Hunter saw who her visitor was she pulled the door wide.
'Julie!' she cried. 'What a surprise! Come along in. I couldn't think who might be calling at this time of night. Living alone, one tends to become rather cautious about opening one's door after nine o'clock.'
Julie stepped into the warm hallway, nodding apologetically. 'I - I'm sorry. I know it's late-
Mrs. Hunter shook her head impatiently. 'Don't be silly, my dear. I don't mind. You know you're always welcome here. Come into the lounge and get your wet coat off. You look half frozen.'
Julie felt an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her mother-in-law was so normal, so matter- of-fact; she might have been calling in the early evening instead of approaching midnight. She unfastened her coat and Mrs. Hunter draped it over the banister, then they went into the lounge.
'Now,' said Mrs. Hunter, ushering her visitor into a chair, 'are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?'
'Nothing to eat, thank you.' Julie forced a smile. 'I - er - I had something on the train.' That was an outright lie, but she didn't want to worry the older woman by behaving as sickly as she felt.
Mrs. Hunter frowned. 'Some coffee, then. Or tea?'
'No, really—'
'Well, I insist you have something,' declared her mother-in-law firmly. 'I know - some brandy. That will warm you up.'
Julie didn't argue and when the glass of amber- coloured liquid was placed in her hand she sipped it obediently. The raw spirit was warming and the heat it generated spread throughout her system. Her nerves re- laxed and she felt a little better. Mrs. Hunter poured herself a glass of sherry and then seated herself opposite.
'Well,' she said with a smile, 'you've chosen a foul night to come calling.'
Julie nodded. 'It - it was raining in London.'
'Was it? You've travelled up from London this evening?'
'I came up by train, yes.'
'I see.' Mrs. Hunter looked down into her glass. 'Was this a sudden decision?'
Julie sighed. 'Very sudden.'
'I thought it might have been. You haven't brought any luggage. And you are going to stay, aren't you?' She looked up at her daughter-in-law piercingly.
Julie nodded again. 'If - if you'll have me.'
Mrs. Hunter looked exasperated. 'If I'll have you! Julie, you know you've always been welcome here. If in recent years we've seen nothing of one another, that hasn't been my fault.'
'I -I know that.'
'So.' Mrs. Hunter sipped her sherry. 'You look tired. I suggest you go upstairs when you've finished that, have a hot bath, and get into bed. I'll bring a hot drink up later. You look as though you could do with a few days' rest.'
Julie stared at her. 'But - but - don't you want to know why I've come?'
'Do you want to talk about it tonight?'
'I - not particularly. But I must.'
'Nonsense! We'll talk some other time. When you're rested - when you've stopped looking like a pale ghost of the girl I used to know.'
Julie's lips trembled 'You - you may not want me here when - when I tell you—'
Her mother-in-law shook her head. 'You may be my son's wife, Julie, but you're also a person in your own right. And nothing you can say will alter my opinion of you. Now drink that up and I'll run your bath.'
'Oh, really—' Julie could feel the tears pricking at her eyes at the other woman's kindness. 'I - I can manage—'
'Leave everything to me,' said Mrs. Hunter firmly. 'You're in no fit state to argue!'
It was such a relief to do as she said, to take off her clothes and sink into the scented bath, washing away the stigma of that terrible scene at the flat. Then she put on a cotton nightdress belonging to Mrs. Hunter and slipped between the sheets of Paul's bed. There was a hot malted drink waiting for her and two aspirins lying on the bedside table. Mrs. Hunter waved away her thanks and told her to settle down and get a good night's sleep.
Julie hadn't expected to sleep even so. She was sure that once she closed her eyes the events of the day would come crowding in on her. But surprisingly enough, they didn't. Instead, the warmth of the bed and the knowledge that for the present nothing else was demanded of her worked as a sedative could never do and she fell into a dreamless slumber and didn't wake until a watery sun was high in the sky.
She was lying there allowing awareness of her surroundings to creep over her when the bedroom door opened and Mrs. Hunter peeped in.
'Oh, you're awake!' she exclaimed with a smile.
'Umm.' Julie propped herself up on her elbows. 'I feel much better. I must have gone to sleep the minute my head touched the pillow.'
'That's good.' Her mother-in-law came further into the room. 'Well, it's nearly twelve o'clock. Do you want breakfast, or will you wait for lunch?'
Julie managed a smile. 'Heavens, I don't want any breakfast at this time!' She bit her lip. 'Thank you.'
Mrs. Hunter fussed about, tidying the coverlet, picking up one of Julie's boots and straightening it. 'Well, if you don't want breakfast, I'll bring you some coffee. I'm sure you won't say no to that.'
'I can get up,' Julie protested.
'You stay where you are,' directed Mrs. Hunter sternly. 'I won't be a minute. The kettle has boiled.'
She was back five minutes later with a tray set for two and seated herself on the end of the bed to drink hers. 'It's a fine morning,' she said. 'I've been out tidying up the garden. There are leaves everywhere.'
Julie drank the coffee. It was good, hot and strong, the way she liked it. The way Jonas liked it, too. Jonas . . .
'Nicholas and Joanne are coming for tea this afternoon,' her mother-in-law was going on. 'You'll see the baby. She's gorgeous, just sitting up and taking notice.'
Julie felt terrible. 'I - I can't stay here - not when they're coming,' she protested unsteadily.
'Why not? You've met Joanne, haven't you?'
'Once, I think. They - they weren't married when Jonas and I—' She broke off. 'Mrs. Hunter, Jonas doesn't know I'm here.'
'I had gathered that.' The older woman placed her empty cup on the tray. 'But that doesn't matter. Nicholas and Joanne seldom see Jonas anyway.'
'You don't understand . . . Julie heaved a sigh. 'I - I found out yesterday that - that Angela was lying, all along.'
Mrs. Hunter didn't look surprised. 'Ah! The letter, I suppose.'
'The letter? Oh! Oh, no, not really.' Julie bent her head. 'It's a long story and not a very pleasant one.'
'You don't have to talk about it now—'
'I do. I - I'd rather. I'd like you to know the facts.'
'All right.' Mrs. Hunter looked expectantly at her. 'Jonas came to your flat, didn't he?'
'How do you know that?'
'I rang him. I told him about the letter—'
'Yes, I guessed you had.'
'—and he said he was going to see you. To confront you with the fact that Angela must have sent it.'
'I -I see.'
'It had to be her. You see, Jonas could never understand why Angela did what she did. I mean, you know now that he was telling the truth, and that Angela really did go to the apartment?'
'Yes.'
'Well, he could never understand how she knew you would come back and find her. I mean, if you hadn't, all her efforts were for nothing. Unless she confessed - just like that. He guessed that she had sent the letter for you to find on your return and then some time she would let it drop that she'd been at the apartment while you were away, and - well, it isn't too difficult to imagine the kind of confession she'd have been prepared to make. But she had to have proof, real proof, that what she was saying had some basis in fact. That was why she needed to spend that night at the apar
tment. She knew you would never believe anything that couldn't be proved.'
Julie nodded, feeling sick again. 'I was a fool!'
Mrs. Hunter shrugged. 'Perhaps. But Angela did her work well, and you were always too easily influenced by your mother, weren't you?'
'I suppose so.'
Mrs. Hunter sighed. 'You don't have to pretend with me, Julie. I know your mother has never really liked
Jonas, but I know my son. He may have behaved irresponsibly in the past, but after you two were married he never even looked at another woman. I know that. I always knew that when he fell in love with someone it would happen that way. He was very much like his father, and goodness knows Godfrey had his moments.' She broke off and pressed her lips together to compose herself. Then she went on: 'When you walked out on him, he was absolutely shattered. I think if his father hadn't persuaded him to take that overseas appointment he'd have had a complete breakdown.'
'And it was all my fault!' Julie felt terrible.
'Not at all. Angela Forrest was to blame. Jonas knew she would cause trouble if she could. He'd known her before, you see. She was madly jealous. She'd have done anything to split you two up. Jonas knew that. But he didn't know how to convince you when you thought so well of her.'
Julie shook her head. 'I never knew about their association,' she said bitterly. 'If I had—'
'You'd have been jealous, too,' murmured Mrs. Hunter sagely.
'Perhaps so.' Julie shook her head. 'But no longer.'
'So what happened?'
Julie hesitated for a moment and then she said: 'As usual I was foolish. I was late home last night. My car wouldn't start and I took a cab. Jonas was there when I arrived at the flat. He was arguing with Angela. They didn't hear me. I -1 listened.' She plucked at the coverlet. 'I didn't want to. But I heard my name, and I couldn't help myself.' She sighed heavily. 'Even then I didn't grasp the full meaning behind what Angela was saying. It was hard to understand, and I was so confused.' She made a helpless gesture. 'I'm not excusing myself. I should have gone into the room and demanded to know what was going on. But I didn't. I just stayed there like - like a mouse - and then Jonas came out and found me.' She shivered with the remembered agony of it all. 'He - he asked me how long I'd been there and Angela said it was because he was afraid I'd overheard what he'd been saying to her. She - she had scratched his cheek, you see, and it looked awful—'