by Anne Mather
'Angela had scratched his cheek?' echoed Mrs. Hunter incredulously.
'Yes, yes, I realize now why she did it. She wanted me to think he'd been bothering her again - that she'd had to fight him off. But at the time I was too stunned to think coherently.'
Mrs. Hunter's face was grim. 'Then what happened?'
Julie bent her head. 'Jonas - Jonas asked me whether in spite of everything I still believed Angela. I - I said I didn't know, and - and he just left. He walked out.'
'What did you expect?' Mrs. Hunter was ironic.
'Oh, I know. I don't blame him. I -1 should have done the same, I suppose. But - but after he'd gone I started thinking that - that perhaps I'd been too hasty, that maybe we could still have a life together ...'
'You mean you were prepared to accept his unfaithfulness?'
'I -I was prepared to try.'
'Oh, Julie! So why didn't you?' She paused. 'Or did you?'
Julie shook her head. 'No.' She drew a deep breath. 'I - I didn't feel very well, and Angela said she would make some tea. Then - then I said that I had realized I was still in love with Jonas and that I was thinking of going after him. She - she was furious!'
'I can imagine.' Mrs. Hunter's lips curled.
'Yes. Well, she said I would be a fool - that Jonas would never take me back.'
'But he would!'
'I was going to try anyway. Then - then she told me she'd been lying.'
Mrs. Hunter frowned. 'But surely you were relieved then. You sound so - so regretful, somehow.'
'I - I am. How can I go back to Jonas now - knowing the truth? It was different when I thought he was to blame. I wanted to show him I could forgive him—'
'And don't you think he'll forgive you?'
Julie stared helplessly at her. 'Do you think he will?'
'I'm sure of it.' Mrs. Hunter's lips were trembling a little. 'You were prepared to try again. Otherwise you would have never learned the truth.'
'But will he believe that? I'm afraid—'
'My son is not a man to bear grudges. And he loves you, Julie, I know he does. If you tell him it's so, he'll believe you.'
'Will he?' Julie pressed hands to her cheeks. You make me feel so - so petty after what's happened. Oh, if only I'd gone with him last night...'
'And never learned the truth? No?' Her mother-in-law patted her shoulder reassuringly. 'Well, it's over now. You've got the future to think about. And perhaps we should let Jonas know where you are—'
'No!' Julie caught her breath. 'No, don't do that.'
'Why not?'
'It - it wouldn't do any good. Mrs. Hunter, I'm very much afraid that so far as Jonas is concerned I don't matter any more...'
'What are you talking about?'
'That - that night we stayed here—' 'You slept together, I know.'
'You know?'
'Of course. Jonas told me. He didn't really get a phone call from London that morning. He told me what he'd done and that he despised himself for taking advantage of you—'
'Oh, Jonas!' Julie pressed her palms to her hot cheeks.
'I gather you took his departure to mean something else?'
Julie nodded, and Mrs. Hunter rose to her feet.
'Very well. You get up when you feel like it. I'm going to make a telephone call, right?'
'All right.' Julie moved her head slowly up and down. 'And - and Mrs. Hunter ...'
'Yes?'
'I -1 don't know how to thank you...'
'Don't try. Just make my son happy, hmm?'
When Julie went downstairs later, bathed and dressed, she found her mother-in-law working in the kitchen. She hesitated for a moment and then she had to say: 'Did - did you speak to Jonas?'
'No.' Mrs. Hunter looked up from slicing carrots. 'I'm afraid not.'
'Oh!' Julie swallowed convulsively. 'Why not?'
'I rang his apartment, but there was no reply.'
'I see.' Julie's hands curled into her palms. 'He - he must be out.'
'Yes.' Mrs. Hunter sounded impatient. 'That's a reasonable conclusion.'
Julie sighed. 'I'm sorry.' She looked round. 'Is there anything I can do?'
Mrs. Hunter hesitated and then she nodded. 'You can peel some potatoes, if you want to.' She paused. 'I'll ring
again after lunch.'
Julie ate hardly any of the delicious meal her mother- in-law had prepared for her and waited expectantly for Mrs. Hunter to make the second call. But again there was no reply, and although Mrs. Hunter tried several times before Nicholas, Joanne and baby Penny arrived, she got no satisfaction.
Jonas's brother and his wife were surprised to see Julie, but they hid their curiosity and spoke to her in a friendly manner. The baby provided the necessary outlet for their embarrassment and Julie found her utterly enchanting. It was perhaps fortunate that Penny took to this new auntie with equal enthusiasm, and with the baby on her knee Julie lost her nervous tension for a few hours.
'Do - do you see anything of Jonas these days, Julie?' asked Joanne over tea, eager to dispel any lingering sense of constraint.
Julie popped a finger of sponge into Penny's small mouth before replying. 'As - as a matter of fact—' she was beginning, when Mrs. Hunter took pity on her.
'Julie spent a few days in Scotland with Jonas just last week,' she said, and Nicholas's mouth dropped open in astonishment. 'The magazine she works for — Peridot - wanted an interview with the best-selling author of the month.'
'Good lord!' Nicholas stared across at Julie. 'I thought for a minute you were about to say Jonas and Julie were getting together again!'
'Nicholas!' Joanne nudged him impatiently, and he turned a little pink as his wife said: 'You stayed at the castle, Julie? How exciting! We've never even seen it, have we, Nick?'
'Well, I have. But it was years ago,' admitted Nicholas.
He gathered his composure. 'So you stayed with my illustrious brother, did you? What do you think of his blossoming writing career?'
'I - I think it's wonderful.' Julie concentrated on helping Penny to sip some orange juice from a beaker.
'Of course it is.' Joanne gave her husband another impatient look. 'And you've been doing awfully well, too, haven't you, Julie? I always read those things you do for Peridot. It's my favourite magazine.'
'Joanne buys them all,' remarked Nicholas laconically.
'I do not!' Joanne was indignant now, and even Julie had to smile at her sister-in-law's determined efforts to control her recalcitrant husband. They reminded her so much of the way she and Jonas used to behave and she wished with a desperation born of despair that she had not been so eager to continue with her career after their marriage. She could have worked on a part-time basis and thus avoided that overnight assignment which had resulted in such heartache. Jonas had never tried to stop her from working, he had always been adamant that marriage to him should not destroy any ambitions she might have. He had never suggested that they might start a family, but he had taken no precautions to prevent such a thing happening and it had been up to her to ensure that she never became pregnant. Only now, holding Joanne's baby in her arms, did she begin to appreciate exactly what she had denied herself.
After her son and his family had left, Mrs. Hunter telephoned Jonas's London apartment again. And again there was no reply.
Julie twisted her hands together when her mother-in- law put down the receiver, shaking her head. 'Do - do you think something is wrong?' she asked tremulously. 'It - it's after nine o'clock. Where could he possibly be? He's
been out all day!'
Mrs. Hunter sighed. 'My dear child, he could be any number of places. And as he's alone, what has he got to rush home for? He could have gone out for lunch, and stayed for dinner.'
'But where? His agent's? A friend's?'
'He could be with his agent. I know he does visit with his family. He's godfather to their twin sons. Then there's Max Turnstall, that colleague of his from the Chronicle. He often goes there. Julie, you have to accept, a
fter what happened yesterday, Jonas will avoid his own company!'
'I - I think I ought to go back—'
'Where? To London?' Mrs. Hunter sounded horrified.
'Yes. He - he may want to see me. If - if I'm there—'
'Julie, I know you. If you go back to London you'll hide from him. But you can't go on hiding all your life.'
Julie turned away, biting her lips. 'Mrs. Hunter, I - I know you know Jonas better than I do—'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'—but - but I just have this feeling that he - he won't ever want to see me again. I - I've tried to fool myself that it's not so. That he will forgive me. But I can't.' She lifted her shoulders and let them fall again. 'Can't you see? Today has proved it.'
'Why? Because he's out? Do you think he's with some woman, is that it?'
'No!' Julie turned. 'No, of course I don't think that. But - well, he has his life to lead, and I have mine. It's no use pretending we can forget the past...'
Mrs. Hunter caught her by the shoulders. 'Now you listen to me, young lady. You're going to go upstairs and get into bed, and I'll bring you another of my special nightcaps. It's late, and you're becoming morbid. In the morning everything will be different, you'll see!'
'I -I don't know—'
'Well, I do.' Mrs. Hunter pursed her lips. 'Now go along. And stop feeling sorry for yourself!'
Julie went obediently up the stairs, too depressed to offer any resistance. She washed, cleaned her teeth with her finger, and went into the bedroom. The nightgown she had worn the night before was lying on the bed and with unsteady fingers she unbuttoned her suit and blouse and took them off. Then she shed her underwear and pulled the cotton nightgown over her head.
She was brushing her hair before the dressing-table mirror when she heard the car turn into the drive and drone powerfully up to the door. Her heart catching in her throat she turned out the lights and went to the window. She peered down into the darkness. The car's headlamps were extinguished, but she would recognize the individual lines of the Porsche anywhere.
She pressed her fingers to her lips as the door swung open and Jonas got out, tall and disturbingly familiar in the light cast from the lounge windows. He slammed his door, mounted the steps and disappeared from sight.
She stood uncertainly, curling and uncurling her bare toes, and then tensing as the door downstairs opened and closed and she heard her mother-in-law's surprised greeting. But Jonas's reply was less than enthusiastic as he said abruptly, 'Julie's disappeared!'
'Julie's disappeared?' Mrs. Hunter spoke slowly, and Jonas went on: 'Yes - disappeared, vanished! I've been searching for her all day. God knows where she's gone! She not here, is she?'
Julie held her breath for a moment, and then Mrs. Hunter said: 'Here? Why should you think that?'
'Because I've tried everywhere else,' he muttered in a weary monotone. 'I didn'tknow where else to look, and I couldn't go back to the apartment, I couldn't!'
Julie heard the tortured note in his voice and responded to it instinctively, taking a few steps towards the door only to halt as Mrs. Hunter said: 'Have you seen her since I phoned you? Did you go to the flat?'
'Yes, yes. I went to the flat.' Julie moved to rest her cheek against the door jamb. 'But Apgela was there. I had it out with her. God, I think I could have killed her. She was so sure of herself — of Julie! She practically admitted to sending the letter. But then everything went wrong - horribly wrong!'
'What do you mean?'
Julie heard Jonas expel his breath on a heavy sigh. 'Oh, well, Julie came back while we were arguing and Angela managed to convince her that I had come to try and force her to lie about our relationship. Haven't you noticed this?' Julie guessed he was indicating the scratch on his cheek. 'Angela did it.'
'But why? What did you do?'
'Me? Nothing!' Jonas sounded utterly defeated. 'You know Angela. She just wanted to show Julie how she had had to fight me off. Oh, it was all lies, lies! Julie just stood there like a bloody ghost! I can't tell you how I felt. I wanted to drag her out of there, by force if necessary. But I couldn't. When I touched her, she didn't want to know.'
'Are you sure?' Mrs. Hunter sounded concerned. 'She was probably shocked to find you there.'
'Yes, probably. Particularly the way Angela made it sound.'
'So what did you do?'
'What did I do?' Julie heard him utter an oath. 'I
walked out. I just walked out and left them to it.'
'I see.'
'I know I was wrong, you don't have to look at me like that. I know I should have stayed and tried to convince Julie that I'm not the swine she thinks me, but I felt so sick!' He sighed again. 'And now she's disappeared and I've been nearly out of my mind!'
'You - you say you've been looking for her? Why?'
'Why? Why? You know why. For God's sake, I love her, I need her! And no bloody female is going to keep us apart. One way or another I've got to show Julie I mean what I say.' He gave a short mirthless laugh. 'Who knows, I may have made her pregnant. She may need me after all.'
'But she's missing,' pointed out Mrs. Hunter quietly.
'Yes. Yes, I know.' Jonas's voice had thickened with his emotion. 'Angela doesn't know where she is. She's as concerned as I am, I think. And as for her mother ... Well, she blames me, naturally And I can't altogether blame her for that.'
'Oh, Jonas!' Julie heard Mrs. Hunter's voice, eloquent with sympathy, and realized that she was not going to tell her son that Julie was there. It was up to Julie to do that.
On trembling legs she stepped out on to the landing and came to the top of the stairs. 'I'm here, Jonas,' she said clearly.
Jonas's head jerked upward and she felt a surge of compassion when she saw the red-rimmed eyes, the haggard expression he was wearing. He had shed his sheepskin jacket and the black shirt and pants he was wearing accentuated the unnatural pallor of his face.
'Julie!' he spoke disbelievingly, glancing almost blankly at his mother. Then he shook his head and mounted the stairs two at a time to reach her, dragging her roughly into his arms, burying his face in the heavy softness of her hair. 'Oh, Julie V he groaned unsteadily. 'Thank God, you're here!'
Over his shoulder, Julie saw Mrs. Hunter disappear tactfully into the lounge, and when the door closed behind her Jonas swung Julie up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom which had been his since he was a very small boy ...
Much later, Julie supposed it must be nearing midnight, Jonas swung his legs to the floor and sat on the side of the bed, stretching luxuriously. 'I'm hungry,' he stated, switching on the bedside lamp. 'Are you going to feed your prodigal husband?'
Julie sat up, too, smiling at him as she ran possessive hands over his shoulder, rested her chin on her fingers. 'I suppose I could,' she agreed lazily. 'Unless your mother is waiting to provide you with supper.'
'I somehow think that's not likely,' murmured Jonas, a little dryly. 'I'm sure she realizes that my wife is capable of providing everything I need.'
Julie's cheeks turned a little pink, and she slid off the bed and reached for the dressing gown which Mrs. Hunter had lent her. 'Yes, well - what do you want?'
'Julie?' Jonas caught her wrist, looking up at her strangely. 'You are coming back to me, aren't you? I mean, this wasn't just another experiment, was it?'
Julie shook her head, her lips pressed together to prevent them from trembling.
Jonas frowned. 'Then what is it? What's troubling you? Something is - I know it. Is it something my mother said?'
Julie shook her head again and then, with a little shud-
der, she said: 'Jonas, I have to tell you - Angela - Angela told me she'd been lying all along. I should hate you to hear that from someone else.'
'I know already.'
'You - know?' Julie felt hopelessly confused. 'But I don't understand.'
'Angela told me herself.'
'Angela?'
'Yes. This morning.' Jonas raised her fingers to h
is lips, kissing each of them in turn. 'I think she realized she had nothing to lose any more. She told me everything. She's terribly worried about you. I think she was half afraid you'd done something desperate.'
'So - so you know—?'
'That you intended coming back to me anyway? Yes. Yes, I know.' He looked up into her eyes. 'But you should have known all along that I would never do anything to hurt you'
'Oh, Jonas!' Julie wanted to cry. It didn't seem possible after everything that had happened, after all the mistakes she had made, that she was being given a second chance. 'I love you!'
Jonas drew her against him, pressing his lips to the hollow between the opening lapels of her gown. 'Now,' he said, determinedly pushing her away from him, 'go and get me some food, woman! I'm starving! And as I have no intention of getting up for an early breakfast, you'd better get something for yourself as well...'
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