Breaking the Cycle

by Zane

  I walked up behind Candy and slid my hand around to her flat stomach, kissing the back of her neck. “Where to now?”

  “I was thinking we could get dressed and either head down to Preston’s or Emeril’s. You know, they opened his restaurant a few weeks ago? With his reputation, it has to be nice.” She turned around and kissed me softly on the lips.

  “This weekend is for you. Anything you want to do, simply ask and I shall try my best to oblige.” I gently kissed her, realizing those were the words she wanted to hear.

  “Then, let me oblige you.”

  She sauntered over to the bed. Slowly and methodically, she began to remove her clothing. The white midriff shirt with the flowing, wide-cuffed sleeves. The khaki cargo pants and black satin bra soon followed. With the sexiest of walks, she closed in on me and slipped her hand into my pants, caressing my manhood that was already at attention and waiting for the command. Her eyes never leaving mine, she undid the belt of my khaki shorts as I slid the white polo over my head. I kicked my leather slides off as she slid my pants and boxer briefs to the floor.

  “Lie down,” she commanded.

  Like an obedient child, I followed her orders and moved to the middle of the king-sized bed. She reached over to the nightstand and turned on the CD/Radio/Alarm Clock.

  “Give me one second.”

  She walked away and grabbed a CD from the case she traveled with. She placed it in the player and clicked it to the cut she wanted to hear. No sooner than she hit play, the room began to fill with the melodic sounds of Floetry’s erotic tune.

  Candy sang along. “There is only one… for me…”

  She knew it was a song that got me hot and bothered. I was ready to explode as she sang and did a sultry dance. One that ended with her slipping her thong seductively off to the music.

  By the time the second chorus of “Say Yes” filled the room, Candy had straddled me and was riding off to ecstasy. She moaned along with them. Told me where her spot was along with them. Even erupted on cue with them. She collapsed on my chest as we both worked on composing our breathing, slowly coming down from the high we’d just experienced.

  Why couldn’t it always be like this?

  “Isn’t this place just gorgeous?” Candy’s head turned, scanning the room from one end to the other.

  “Good evening. Welcome to Emeril’s. How many in your party?”

  “Two,” I replied.

  “How long is the wait?” Candy asked.

  “One second.” The hostess looked over her seating chart. There were people in there, but it wasn’t what I would call packed. The hostess grabbed two menus and asked us to follow her.

  “This is so nice. I wonder when he’s going to come back. You know he was here for the grand opening? I wanted to make it down here, but… Damn, I can’t remember why I didn’t.”

  I looked over the menu and noted the prices. Not too over the top, but not all that inexpensive either. “You sure you don’t want to go to Preston’s? You did say you were craving it the other night.” Not that Preston’s was any cheaper; it’s just hard to find something to eat whenever you go to a restaurant for the first time.

  Candy leered at me. “I’d much rather be here.”

  “Now that was a real nice experience,” Candy said excitedly after dinner. “I must say, the food was excellent.”

  “Yes it was,” I agreed. “Now, where to?”

  “Hmm, let’s see…” She placed her finger to her chin. Pretended to be deep in thought.

  “You know…” I kissed the back of her neck. “We could go back upstairs to that beautiful room we have…” Another kiss. “And make use of the bed…”

  “Now, what fun would that be? We do that all the time. I want to go to a club. Oh, I know… Let’s go to Club B.E.D.”

  “Why there? You know ain’t nothing there but a bunch of people trying to be seen by a bunch of other people who really don’t care about seeing them at all.”

  “And what’s wrong with that? That’s what this entire scene is about anyway.”

  “You mean, like staying in one of the most expensive hotels out here? Dining at one of the trendiest restaurants?”

  “First of all, if being seen was what it was about for me, we would be at the Delano and not the Loews. Instead of the measly two hundred, you’d be really dishing out the dough.”

  I knew the evening wasn’t going to go the way I planned from that moment.

  “Are we going to the club or not?”

  I realized if “no” had been the answer, the fate of my weekend would’ve been sealed. So, against all that raged inside of me, I followed as she made her way around to the valet stand.

  “Why can’t we walk over there?” I asked.

  “Walk! You must be crazy if you think I’m going to walk all the way over there in these!” She lifted her foot to show me the four-inch skinny heel of her shoe.

  I pulled the valet ticket from my pocket.

  We pulled up to the club where there was another charge for parking. Finding parking anywhere along Washington Street was a challenge, so it seemed fruitless to argue. We walked to the front of the club. A few people were standing around in hopes of being allowed the opportunity to party with the “in crowd” of the moment.

  The cover charge was a ridiculous price. I looked at Candy long and hard. Never compromise your happiness for someone else, came to me loud and clear. Here I was doing exactly that. It didn’t matter that I could more than afford it. What weighed heavily on me was the fact that it came back to everything being about what she wanted. Never was it about me, or we.

  As bad as I knew things could end up, I stood back at the door as she started to walk in. “Candy…”

  She looked back at me like I had lost my mind. Then she slowly made her way back to me. “What?!” she said between clenched teeth. Clenched fists at her side.

  “As much as I know you want to be here, I’m really not feeling it. I mean, I can’t see shelling out that type of cash just to say I was here. Can we just go?”

  I was given the kiss of death when it comes to looks. I should’ve rolled with the flow in order to keep the peace, but I had been doing that for far too long.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to embarrass me like this.” Her response was more of a hiss than anything else.

  “Do you have money to pay for this? I mean, if you do, I’ll go in and we can hang all night.”

  “So, we meet again,” a voice called out from behind us.

  I turned around to find Nisha walking up behind us. “Hey, you!” I gave her a slight hug.

  “Eddie, this is Mike, my husband. Mike, Dr. Eddie Adelson—the old friend from college I was telling you about.”

  “Hey, Man. Good to meet you.” He grabbed my hand in a firm handshake.

  “What are you doing here?” Nisha inquired.

  “We were about to leave. It costs a pretty penny to hang out in here.”

  “Don’t I know it, but Mike knows the owner and—”

  “You guys are more than welcome to join us,” Mike interrupted and added.

  Before I could decline, Candy came to life in a way that was so like her. After the cold reception she’d given Nisha the night of the dinner, you’d think she was the last person she would want to be indebted to. Strangely enough, Candy acted like she and Nisha were the best of friends. Being invited into a circle that would’ve been elusive to us otherwise seemed to animate her.

  Mike, a successful movie editor, was privileged enough to be a part of the very “it” crowd. When you have extremely well known people walk over to you to speak, it’s a definite sign of some sort of royalty. Candy ate the semi-attention up she received as a result of being with Mike.

  Candy excused herself to the restroom while Mike walked over to another bed to speak to some friends.

  “Now, that was a switch,” Nisha commented. “I remember home girl looking at me the other night like I had the plague or something.”

&n
bsp; “What can I say?” I shrugged. “She’s an opportunist.”

  “You looked like you were ready to jet when we first walked up. What’s going on with you? Why haven’t you called me?”

  “Just been busy, is all.”

  “You do remember I’m a good listener.”

  I definitely remembered. The long nights we used to have; sitting up shooting the breeze. Nisha had always been eager to lend an ear; dishing advice only when asked.

  “I may take you up on that,” I said.

  “You still have my card?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Why don’t you give me a call Tuesday? It’s my day off. Maybe we can meet somewhere and have lunch.”

  “That so happens to my day off also. Sounds like a plan.”

  “You can unburden your soul over a plate of soul food.” We both laughed. “Seems your face just found a missing friend.”

  “Haven’t had much to smile about lately.”

  “Then you need to change that.”

  “Trying to. It’s complicated.”

  “I don’t think it’s complicated,” Nisha said. “You’re probably making it more complicated than it has to be.”

  “You know me, a glutton for punishment.” I gave a nervous chuckle and waited for her to join me.

  Her affirmation never came in the form of a laugh, but rather in a soft reassuring touch. “You’ll get through this like you’ve done before. You’re a survivor. Remember that.”

  “This has been one of the most exciting nights of my life.” Candy smiled as she slid out of the micro-mini. Her shoes had landed in the corner when she kicked them off. “Why didn’t you tell me your girl was hooked up like that? If I’d known, I wouldn’t have treated her so funky the first time.”

  “You shouldn’t have treated her that way regardless. She’s a friend of mine. That alone should’ve been enough for you to treat her decently. Why does a person have to have some type of worth for you to be civil?”

  “I’m not about to let you ruin my night with your bullshit. You might as well climb into bed and call it a night like I’m about to do. You better be glad they came along and saved us from the embarrassment you were trying to put me through.”

  She turned her back and slid on the oversized nightshirt. Clicked off the light like I wasn’t even in the room. Leaving me to undress in total darkness.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “So how long has this been going on?”

  “It started about two months after she moved in with me. I was trying to help her out after she got put out by her roommates. Now, I understand why they dropped her.”

  “Yes, she definitely seems to be a piece of work.” Nisha stared at me with compassion. “Eddie, you’ve got to get away from her. She’s bringing you down and someone’s going to end up getting hurt really bad.”

  “But how can I just leave her?” I asked in dismay.

  “There are ways, Eddie. Maybe you can sit down and talk with her. If you’re afraid of having the conversation alone, find someone to be a mediator. Here…” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a card. “This is a good friend of mine. He’s a really good therapist. His specialty happens to be abusive relationships.”

  “Yeah, but abusive relationships where men are the victims?”

  “Especially those types. After doing research for a project, he noticed there were a lot of men in abusive situations who had no outlets to lay down their burdens or their pain. They were afraid to share their stories because people would either laugh or call them wimpy, or punks. So, he decided he would be the ear they needed.”

  “How long has he been doing this?”

  “More than ten years.” She could see the doubt on my face. “Look, if you want, I’ll go with you. I promise; you won’t regret it.” She squeezed my hand in a reassuring gesture.

  “Dr. Adelson, how are you? I’m Dr. Griffith.” He extended his hand toward me.

  I was still a bit reserved about the entire thing, but anything was better than the nothing I’d been doing.

  “Dr. Griffith.” I shook his hand. My palms were a bit clammy. I swiped them on my pants as I took a seat in the leather chair. “Nisha told me that you specialize in this sort of thing.”

  “What thing would that be?”

  “You know…” I paused and looked at him.

  “The first step of working through any problem is being able to admit it.” He looked at me as I adjusted in the chair.

  “I’m…” I swallowed hard. “In a relationship where my… girlfriend abuses me mentally and physically.”

  I took a deep breath. I suddenly recognized what Terry McMillan meant about exhaling. With that confession, I felt like I was breathing deeper than I had in over a year.

  “When did this all start?”

  Dr. Griffith turned on a mini tape recorder as I unfolded the story of the hell that was going on in my life. His dark, intense eyes stared at me from behind a pair of stylish frameless glasses. His well-groomed appearance was non-threatening. The more I talked, the more I relaxed, allowing every horrid detail to spill from my lips.

  “Here are a few numbers I think would be helpful for you. Remember, any type of abuse is bad. Be it emotional or physical. Just because you’re a man does not mean you should be ashamed. You have done nothing wrong, so never be ashamed.” He reached out and shook my hand again as I stood to leave.

  “So, is this it?”

  “Don’t we wish it were that easy?” He laughed. “No, I’ll see you this Friday. You can make an appointment with Francine on your way out.”

  “Okay. Thanks again.”

  “Remember, you are the victim here. If things get to the point where you feel they’re about to boil over, leave and call the police before going back. Make a paper trail.”

  “I’ll try and remember that.”

  I walked out to the front desk and waited for his assistant to pencil me in.

  Never compromise your happiness for someone else.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I could feel the chill in the air the moment I opened the door. The missing odor of something cooking was a sign that all was not well. I braced myself for what was to come.

  I placed my keys on the table and picked up the stack of mail sitting there. I flipped through it quickly and continued my way into the kitchen. I placed the mail on the counter and went in the fridge for a cold drink and to see if I could find something to snack on until dinner plans had been figured out.

  Dr. Griffith’s words danced in my head as I pulled things out and sat them on the counter. Our entire relationship had been about control from day one. She suggested where we would go on our dates. When we would go on dates. I was nothing more than a yes man to her.

  “I guess you couldn’t come in the room and say hello.”

  I damn near jumped out of my shoes. “I just walked in.”

  “Why you acting like you’re guilty of something?”

  “What?”

  “I called your office today, only to find out that you’d left early. So, I rushed home thinking that I would surprise you.”

  “I had an appointment…”

  “An appointment? You didn’t tell me anything about an appointment. I’m starting to feel that you’re lying to me.”

  She stepped closer to me. My defense mechanism kicked in as I braced myself for the terror I could see growing in her eyes.

  “Look, why don’t we go over here and sit down and talk so I can tell you all about—”

  Her balled fist hit me dead in the mouth. I felt my lip beginning to swell.

  “You think I’m stupid or something?! If you think you’re going to play me like that, then your stupid ass better think again! I keep telling you, don’t fuck with me!”

  She grabbed the egg pan from the stove she had used earlier that morning. Still recovering from the first blow, I didn’t have my bearings together enough to fend her off. My ears rang from the two swift hits she landed upside my he
ad. No longer could I hear the ranting of the mad woman who stood before me. By the time she connected the final blow, darkness was taking over.

  A sharp pain shot through my head as I tried to lift it. I reached out and felt the cold metal railing of the hospital bed. Brief spurts of what had transpired between Candy and me played out in my nightmares. When I tried to raise my left hand, I couldn’t. Panic set in when I realized the reason behind it. Every time I moved it, the metal bracelet that chained me to the bed made a clinking sound.

  I frantically searched for the button to call for the nurse. Must’ve pushed it fifty times once I found it. Three people ran into the room and only one of them was the nurse. The blue suit and uniform told me who the other two were without words. I looked down at my wrist again. I tried to open my mouth and speak, but no words came. My tongue felt heavy and pasty and my throat tightened as I thought about the possibility I could actually be convicted of something I was actually the victim of.

  “Dr. Adelson, we’d like to ask you a few questions,” the detective said as he pulled up a chair next to the bed.

  I looked down at my wrist again and then back at him. My eyes began to fill with water, water that represented the anger and shame I was feeling inside.

  “Dr. Adelson, I truly apologize about this, but we have procedures we have to follow when a case is under investigation.”

  Just then the door opened and in walked a female, dressed in a tan pantsuit with a brown shirt. Her shoulder-length hair was parted down the middle.

  “This is my partner, Detective Thomas. As I was saying, we need to ask you a few questions so we can get to the bottom of this. We arrived at the scene after you were taken away in the ambulance. From the information we gathered from Ms. Knight, there was some sort of struggle between the two of you. She claims to have struck you in self-defense.”

  My eyes widened at the blatant lie she had told them.

  “Is there something you would like to say, Dr. Adelson?” Detective Thomas moved a little closer to me.