by Vi Keeland
I needed to know.
“Can we take a test?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t want to take it too early anyway, might get a false result. I’ll wait until after this weekend…once we have the party behind us. Then, we’ll do it.”
“Whatever you want.”
I knew from the look on her face that she was praying she wasn’t carrying my baby.
Was I crazy for wishing the opposite?
CHAPTER 23
SORAYA
THE TWO-HOUR DRIVE OUT to East Hampton on Saturday morning was surprisingly smooth with little to no traffic. Considering it was Memorial Day weekend, we’d been expecting worse. It was still early in the season with cooler weather, so maybe the majority of New Yorkers hadn’t yet begun their weekend retreats out of the city.
Graham had given Louis the weekend off, preferring to drive his Beemer to the Hamptons. He had the windows down, so my hair was blowing around wildly in the wind. We were both donning sunglasses. Life was good. I had vowed not to let my late period or the impending encounter with Genevieve today ruin this weekend getaway.
Graham had booked us a room at a bed and breakfast for tonight close to Genevieve’s property. We’d be heading straight to the party, though, since he didn’t want to be late. The backseat was filled with gifts wrapped in pastel paper. Apparently, Graham felt he needed to make up for all of Chloe’s birthdays that he’d missed. He’d ordered his secretary to practically clean out the girls’ section at Toys“R”Us.
During the ride, Graham was being particularly attentive to my needs, asking me if I was okay, if I needed water, if I was cold. I knew the slim possibility that I could be pregnant was constantly on his mind. It was constantly on mine, too.
It hadn’t really surprised me that he took the news that my period was late so well. Graham would be a wonderful father; he was already proving that. He was in a place in his life where he was ready for it. I, on the other hand, still wasn’t even sure I wanted kids, so the prospect of a pregnancy, especially given the current situation with Chloe, was terrifying. We were definitely on different pages as far as that was concerned.
At one point during the ride, Graham turned to me. “Have you ever been to the Hamptons?”
“Never. Rockaway and Coney Island have been it for me. I’ve always wanted to go out there, though, just never had the chance, nor the money to book a place.”
“I think you’ll love it. There are a lot of little galleries and shops. We’ll have to do some exploring tomorrow.”
“I’m just happy to be getting out of the city. It doesn’t matter what we do.”
“Well, I’d like to take you on a real vacation soon. Work should calm down in the next couple of months. Think about where you’d want to go...St. Barts, Hawaii, Europe. There are so many choices. I’ll charter a jet.”
“Okay, Mr. Fancy Pants. But you can choose, because I haven’t been anywhere. It doesn’t matter anyway; I just want to be with you.”
He squeezed my hand. “You’re the first person who’s said those words that I actually believe.”
It was easy to forget how wealthy Graham was sometimes because he’d become so relaxed around me. He insisted he preferred things like eating on the floor out of cartons over going to high-end restaurants most nights. I often wondered if that was truly his preference or if he was just doing it to appease me or to make himself appear more down to Earth than he really was. I truly didn’t need a private jet or an expensive vacation. In fact, I preferred the simple things.
As we pulled off the highway, my stomach started to feel unsettled. Being in the car was a nice little oasis that would soon be rudely interrupted.
Twenty minutes after driving through windy side roads, we pulled up to Genevieve’s waterfront Hamptons’ estate. The sprawling, wood-shingled home was partially hidden by plush green hedges.
Beyond the black, wrought iron gates, I could see just how massive the house was with its white moldings, arched windows and farmer’s porch that wrapped around it. If it could talk, it would have said, “You’re officially out of your league, Brooklyn bitch.”
Graham left the presents in the car, deciding to retrieve them later. A woman in a gray housekeeping dress greeted us in front with mimosas. I took one and immediately put it back, forgetting that there was a small chance I could be pregnant. Damn. I really needed alcohol today.
“Go straight through the house to the French doors leading to the yard,” she said.
Sensing my nerves, Graham protectively placed his hand on my back as we walked inside together.
The foyer had practically vomited lavender hydrangeas. Genevieve was in the large, white kitchen arranging even more of them when we passed through.
“Graham, you made it!” She smiled.
Brushing off her hands, she walked around the granite island to greet us. She looked like she was about to hug him but stopped herself, probably sensing his apprehension. Not to mention his grip hadn’t left my torso.
Her eyes stayed fixed on Graham. “Chloe is outside playing with some of her friends. The adults are scattered about as well. You remember Bret Allandale. He’s here with his wife, Laura. So are Jim and Leslie Steinhouse.”
Since she had chosen to ignore me, I cleared my throat and said, “You have a beautiful home.”
“Thank you. Graham picked this property out, actually.”
Confused, I looked to him for clarification, but he didn’t offer it. Instead, he just tightened his grip on me.
She continued, “This was our summer place…before things changed.”
Graham finally spoke. “The house was in both our names at one point…until I gladly sold my share to Liam.” He looked toward the doors leading to the patio. “We should go find Chloe.” Graham led me outside without making further conversation with Genevieve.
A closed in-ground pool sat in the middle of the large backyard. To the left was a bright green tennis court. To the right was a large grassy area where at least a dozen little girls in flowy dresses were running around. A large, inflatable bounce house in the shape of a princess castle was set up along with a pink cotton candy station. There was also a makeshift outdoor beauty salon where the girls could get their hair done up like princesses. Genevieve had definitely gone all out.
Graham was looking toward the kids, trying to spot Chloe.
“So…this was your house, Graham?”
“Yes…only for a short time. I put it in both our names after we’d gotten engaged. Then, when I found out about what was going on, I didn’t want anything to do with it. Genevieve’s imprint is all over everything. It was easier for me to just sell it to Liam and be done with it.”
“But you picked this house. It must have been hard to give it up.”
“Yes. I loved how close it is to the water. The architecture also has a lot of charm.”
“It certainly does. You have good taste.”
He leaned in and nuzzled my ear. “I would say so.”
I had to admit, knowing that this had been his and Genevieve’s love nest at one time made me even more uncomfortable about being here.
I looked around at how conservatively everyone was dressed. In his white fitted Polo shirt, Graham blended in just fine. As always, I stuck out with my strapless royal blue dress and matching blue hair tips. I’d been itching to change the color but vowed to keep it blue so that Graham didn’t think I was going off the rails.
When Chloe spotted Graham, she made a beeline toward him. “Graham Cracker!”
He knelt down with his arms open as she ran toward him then pretended to fall back when she threw herself into his arms. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
When she pulled away, she looked up at me. “Hi, Soraya.”
“Hi, Chloe.” I bent down. “Can I have a hug, too?” We embraced, and she kissed me lightly on the cheek. Her mouth was sticky from the cotton candy.
She wrapped her little arms around Graham’s neck again. �
��Will you come chase us?”
“Of course. You’re the birthday girl. Whatever you want. Why don’t you go back to your friends for a minute? I’ll be right over, alright?”
Chloe nodded enthusiastically and ran over to rejoin the other girls.
He stood up. “Are you okay if I leave you alone with the wolves for a bit?”
“Of course. We’re here for Chloe. I can deal with the rest of ‘em.”
He whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my neck. “I’ll make it up to you later in a big way. I promise.”
Graham ran over to Chloe, and I watched amused as he took direction from her. Completely at her disposal, he ran in circles chasing the girls around. He towered over them. He was playing the role of some kind of monster. I chuckled as he dropped to the ground and let them clobber him. It was like he’d been attacked by an explosion of pink chiffon.
I couldn’t help thinking that maybe the possibility of being pregnant with this man’s child wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The more I watched him out there, the more I realized I wanted to share a life with him. But it would never be uncomplicated; Genevieve would always be a part of it.
A conversation happening diagonally behind me turned my attention away from Graham and the girls for a moment.
“That’s Graham Morgan out there.”
“Yes. You know the story, right? That Graham is really Chloe’s biological father?”
“Worst kept secret in the world if you ask me.”
“Apparently, everyone knew but him.”
“Crazy.”
“Imagine. One woman and two good-looking guys like that.”
“Sounds like one of your books, Elise.”
“I know, totally.”
“I guess Morgan went off the deep end for a while after Genevieve left him for Liam. Cut ties with a lot of people. He was really in love with her. Apparently, after he found out about the affair, he was so heartbroken, he came down here and shattered half the windows in this house.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No.”
“Wow. I’d have an affair just to see Stanley get half that passionate about me.”
“Gen’s paid for her mistakes, poor thing. Widowed at such a young age. We all acted foolishly when we were young. She didn’t deserve this predicament.”
“Well, it’s nice to see him here for the little girl.”
“I wonder if they’ll reunite for the sake of their daughter. They make beautiful children together.”
“That would be a happy ending to a tragic story, wouldn’t it?”
The only happy ending he’ll be getting is from me, bitch.
A few minutes later, I’d been so preoccupied thinking about what those women were saying that I hadn’t noticed Graham sneak up behind me to plant a kiss on my neck. The gossipers had taken notice, though. Their eyes were practically bugging out of their heads. Their little happily-ever-after fantasy was quickly challenged by Graham’s public display of affection with someone they probably assumed was working the party.
I couldn’t help myself when I turned to them and smiled. “Plot twist.”
Graham looked confused but didn’t question me about it.
He examined my face. “How are you holding up?”
I put on my best happy smile. “Good.”
“Chloe wants to open her presents, so I’m gonna head out to the car to get them.”
“I’ll help you.”
Graham and I made three separate trips back and forth to retrieve all of the gifts. When we returned, Genevieve was placing a massive cake that was shaped like a ruffly dress down on the table. All of the little girls swarmed around it like flies.
Genevieve had hired a professional photographer. When it was time for Chloe to blow out her candles, she waved for Graham to come around and get in the picture.
The photographer had Genevieve and Graham pose for several pictures with Chloe. The sight made my stomach churn because my mind kept replaying what those women were saying. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Graham in the picture next to his daughter, but seeing him so close to Genevieve was unnerving. The photographer probably assumed they were married. Seeing the three of them together made me wonder what would be happening right now if I weren’t in the picture. This scene was like a glimpse into the crystal ball of what could have been. Would Graham consider taking her back if it weren’t for me? He’d told me he wouldn’t, but it might be different if I didn’t exist in his life. I could be the very thing that is keeping that little girl from having her parents together. My own childhood came to mind.
Was I Chloe’s Theresa?
My thoughts turned to Graham, who was walking toward me with two ceramic plates of cake. Apparently, this children’s party was too high-end for paper goods.
“It’s chocolate.” He winked. “Your favorite.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him why I’d lost my appetite; even chocolate wouldn’t be able to heal the anxiety that came from the realization that I was a potential homewrecker. So, I forced the cake down as we stood together and watched as Chloe started opening her gifts.
One hour and piles upon piles of wrapping paper later, I really needed to use the bathroom. I’d been downing nothing but water and decaf coffee since alcohol was out of the question. Graham was assembling some of Chloe’s toys and hadn’t noticed me slip away.
The upstairs bathroom window afforded me the perfect view of where Graham was standing down below, showing Chloe how to ride a pogo stick. Feeling so conflicted, my heart clenched as I looked at Chloe’s sweet face, which was essentially a reflection of Graham’s face. Was I keeping this girl from the perfect fairytale of living under the same roof with both parents?
Then, I looked over at him. The man who I loved who probably wasn’t even sure that I loved him. I wanted him for myself. And that made me feel guilty. I was pretty sure if I did want kids, he was the only man I wanted as the father.
I pried my eyes away from the window and sat down on the toilet. Looking down at my underwear, I spotted it immediately. Bright red. I’d gotten my period. My stomach sank.
I’d expected to feel relieved, but it was the opposite: utter disappointment. It revealed a truth that I wasn’t even fully aware of until that moment: a part of me had wanted a baby with him even if I wasn’t quite ready. Because I loved him. Instead of relief, the blood symbolized a loss of something I didn’t even realize I wanted until now.
Thankfully, my dress was a dark color, and I’d thrown a pair of spare panties and a tampon in my purse just in case this very thing happened. I left the bathroom with a little less hope than I’d walked in with, knowing that I’d also have to break the news to Graham tonight.
As I walked down the hall, I stopped at Liam and Genevieve’s wedding picture. I looked into Liam’s eyes in the photo and whispered to him under my breath. Boy, you sure left a mess behind. I hope you’re in a better place.
If I thought I was having a bad day before, it became abundantly clear that the worst was yet to come when I saw who was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.
“Genevieve.”
“A word, please, will you, Soraya?” Without giving me a chance to respond, she motioned for me to follow her and began to walk toward a set of French doors.
Feeling emotional from what had just transpired up in the bathroom, she was the last person I wanted to speak to at the moment. Yet I followed along like a puppy. She closed the doors behind us.
“Have a seat.” She gestured to a brown leather couch. Unlike the rest of the house that was bright and airy, this room was dark and masculine. Built-in bookcases lined the walls, and a massive cherrywood desk was positioned on one side of the room. Genevieve walked behind the desk and opened a cabinet. She pulled out an ornate crystal liquor bottle and two glasses, pouring amber liquid into both before offering one to me.
“No, thank you.”
“Take it. You may need it.” Her tight smile was lac
ed with more spite than sweet.
Screw it. No reason to abstain anymore. I took the glass and sucked half of it back in one gulp. It burned a path from my throat to my stomach.
“I thought it was time the two of us had a little woman-to-woman talk.”
“And since you’ve cornered me into a room, I assume whatever it is you want to talk about isn’t something you want Graham to hear.”
“That’s right. Some things are just better off between women.”
“Well, go ahead, Genevieve.” I settled back into the couch. “Get whatever bitchy thing you want off of your chest so we can all move on.”
“Alright. I won’t beat around the bush then.” She sipped her drink. “I want you to stop fucking my daughter’s father.”
“Excuse me.”
“What part didn’t you understand?”
“You have no right to tell me what to do.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Your actions have a direct impact on my daughter. She deserves a family.”
“Graham’s being involved with me has nothing to do with Chloe.”
“Of course, it does. You’re being selfish.”
“I’m being selfish. You slept with Graham’s best friend then didn’t tell Graham he was Chloe’s father for four years so your husband wouldn’t leave you. And I’m the selfish one.”
“We’re not talking about me.”
“Like hell, we’re not. You only want Graham away from me so you can attempt to dig your claws back into him. This has nothing to do with the welfare of your daughter.”
She let out an exaggerated sigh. “You wouldn’t understand, Soraya. You aren’t a mother.”
I felt it in that moment. A gurgling of emotions beginning to bubble their way up from within. The bathroom and now her not too subtle reminder. “No. I’m not a mother.”
“This is a chance for Chloe to have her family. Graham and I have a lot in common. We share a common business, travel in the same social circles and have a child together.”
“He doesn’t love you.”
Genevieve laughed. “You can’t really be that naïve, can you? Believing some ideologic notion that love will conquer all.”