Cries of Innocence

by Roger Dale Watson Jr.

  They were six-inch heels with a strap that came across my ankle and slightly up my calf and then buckled. When those shoes touched my feet, I was a woman all the way through. My dad on the other hand wore suites for work and never dressed up when he was off the job, around the house it was gym shorts and tank tops and even for church it was pants and a dress shirt. I would say “Dad, really, its church, dress up,” and I always got the same answer in that deep daddy voice, “Button, GOD knows my closet and last night when I prayed we discussed what to wear and I picked this out and he agreed so you wouldn’t wanna question his fashion taste, would you?”

  I would reply in the most hopeless expression and say, “Woooo, there is no dealing with you, you are like a big kid, I’m watching what I cannot correct. Even in a fuss he always seemed to make it fun and now looking back he never really made me feel like a child, I mean I know I was a kid but he never made me feel like a child. Oh how I miss that man!”

  Chapter 3

  The Wreck

  It seemed everything in my life was coming together, school was going great, my friends were close and active in my life, and my dad and I were as close as we had ever been. With my mom being gone most of my life, I knew Dad was alone inside, I mean I knew he had me but the comfort of a companion is what he was missing and the girls and I had just the plan. There was a new manager at the store we all worked at who just moved into town, she was a fox. Just a year younger than Dad, she was never married, had long black hair and long legs, she was a kid like lady who fit right in with us. There were lots of times when it was easy to forget she was a grown lady outside the fact she was our boss (laughing). We would trick them in being at the same place at the same time to see them together. We would split up, me and Carla would take Dad to a movie while Kayle and Madison would take Miss Treasure and we would all meet up like it was just a rare act of events, then we would all pick a movie they wouldn’t watch and take off, leaving them alone together.

  We know it was a dirty trick, but it was a plan that worked a few times before they caught on or that was unless they caught on early and never led on to it. Because it was obvious they were into each other. When our movie would start we would sneak out of our movie and ease into theirs, with a little flirting from Madison and some brave fist balling from Kayle and we were in. Andy always had a soft spot for Madison so a few bats from the eyelashes would have him in a trance and he would not only let us swap movies but always seemed to have Madison a fresh drink on hand. So back to my point, we would sit in the back like shadows hoping to catch a hug, an arm reach, shared popcorn or anything. And we were sure to be very quiet not to be noticed. And it was a well-thought-out plan or so we thought. We went over every detail like steps on a ladder, careful not to leave out even the smallest of details. We really thought we had everything worked out. And then as fast as we had it, it all came unraveled. It seemed we covered everything but the one thing that got us busted (the reaction), yes the reaction, there was no planning for that moment.

  Like a play from any playbook, Dad found his moment and moved in with a slight pass with his arm behind her neck resting it on her shoulder. And with a little effort on his part she rested her head on him, and like cheerleaders at a super bowl we were in the dark dancing with joy and everything was doing great until they took a long stare before leaning in for what would have been one of the most romantic kisses any woman could dream of. But it was cut short by the teenage scream from not one but four girls just five rows back who were screaming like they were at the front row of a boy band concert. My heart was racing like I was facing that fearful moment with my dad, and I couldn’t hold back screaming, “GO DADDY! GO DADDY!” over and over like I was trying to lose my voice with every scream. Well it was safe to say that after a very embarrassing moment and a whole lot of explaining they never went to the movies with either of us again and seemed to be more suspicious of us all.

  After we all laughed over it, some truth came out. It seemed the ones who knew it all weren’t us at all, they had been on a few dates already and seemed to really be into eachother and that was far from their first kiss. We were so happy for them. Miss Treasure spent a lot of time with us and really enjoyed having a teenage girl in her life, like I said before she was a big kid still at heart and I had someone I could share the female side of life with. And it was so funny seeing the effects she had on my dad. She would come over and have supper and stay late and just so happen to be back over for breakfast, yea right. So the more she got close to us, the more we all relied on each other, when Dad was on the road she would sleepover so I was never alone. So that’s why the night of the dance she was so important to Dad and I, he was already behind with his plane being held up by the weather, it was all Miss Treasure and I could do to stay calm. We had enough to keep us busy getting prettied up, both like two same age teens dressing for a night that would change our lives forever. Both loving the same man, both wanting to be in his life, and have him in our lives.

  Yes that night would change our lives forever way more than we ever expected. With the call coming in finally from Dad’s phone saying he had landed and for us to go on and go to the dance and he would meet us there. I only remember screaming, “I love you, Dad, and be careful…wooooo tonight I become a woman” and seeing the smile on her face when she said, “He said he loves you, button,” and the look of happiness on her face as they said I love you to each other before hanging up. That would be the last time I see that look of peace and love on her face. It was long after that we were at the school and on the inside standing with Carla, Kayle, and Madison like we were at the red carpet of a fancy movie set. We were watching the door for him to walk in as each girl was escorted away to take her dance with her dad, and Miss Treasure and I was focusing on the music and trying not to worry. All at once the sound of sirens cut into the gym and drowned out the music as if fifty fire trucks were inside with us.

  We found ourselves in a deep state of worry, not hearing that the music had stopped and we also didn’t notice that one of the teachers that came late came in with such force that see jammed open the door making the sound of rescue traffic even louder, and the crowed spread open from the door straight to us. We were still looking at the fear on each other’s faces, only thinking the worse and both knowing how alone we would be if we lost Dad. And I must have been totally out of it because I never felt the teacher take my hand nor did I see the tears falling from her face and my trance was only broken when the girls screamed, “OHHHH GOD! NOOOO!” The look on her face only said the worse about my dad. See she was late due to a fatal wreck at the main red light in town where a drunk driver hit my dad and both he and my dad were killed. The wreck was so horrific that the teacher told Treasure not to take me to the wreck and to take to the hospital instead. I lived the scariest night of my life that night. The loss of my mom was something I grew up with, but the loss of my dad was devastating.

  The rest of the night was mainly a blur. It was spent at the hospital waiting room, although the doctors told us my dad had passed instantly and there was a strong chance due to the massive head trauma that his death was fast and that he didn’t suffer. But the scare of that night would change our lives forever. Miss Treasure and I just sat holding each other and crying all night. Her losing her love of her life and me now both parents, we were both helpless and hopeless. I don’t remember much of what got us through that night but I will never forget her telling me over and over that I wasn’t alone and we had each other. I could only wonder how she must have felt trying to put the pieces of her own life together after her own heart was breaking, but looking down at a parentless teenager and having to put her own feelings and mourning aside to comfort me instead. I don’t remember falling asleep but we both were awakened by the morning shift telling us that she had cold juice and hot coffee if we wanted. The poor lady must have thought we were rude as we just looked around and got up and walked out. I almost stopped and spoke to her when I saw a night shift nurse lean i
n and say they lost their husband and dad last night.

  Sadness filled the room as every woman thought of her husband and dad as they tried to show their concern and tears filled the eyes of everyone who had seen us or heard what happened. The sadness was just them caring I know, but it was stealing the air from every breath we tried to take and we just wanted to get away. We went all the way home not saying a word, but somehow knowing that we would have each other. So it was not uncomfortable for me to see her make herself at home in my house. We both knew that we were just doing what we had to and we knew we would have to address our future soon and as of now we just wanted to comfort each other. What felt like days passed before we decided to get properly dressed, let alone leave the house. And it wasn’t till the day the pizza could not be delivered and we were starving that we cleaned up and went to get lunch. We seemed to find a smile or two that day and it got easier as the days followed.

  Chapter 4

  The Finding of the Jacket

  Like I said the days following were easier as they came with some hope that the pain of our loss would someday help our hearts heal. A few weeks after Dad’s passing and the funeral, the courts allowed Miss Treasure to gain custody of me and she moved out of her apartment and moved into the house. And we agreed to set a plate for Dad every time we sat at the table. But after eating and looking at that plate just set there, we didn’t have the heart to speak and we were so quiet that a simple meal was more miserable than a tribute to him, and if eating at that table wasn’t bad enough we were not ready for when we were done. We both sat, we could not feel our feet for neither wanted to be the one to dump his plate. So we both just left it and went upstairs and cried ourselves to sleep. I didn’t dream that night at all and was awakened at about ten A.M. to the sound of the dishwasher and I remembered Dad’s plate. I flew out of bed, sliding down the stairs with my sock feet landing on the kitchen floor.

  I knew I startled her as she spun around thinking I may have hurt myself. And like two eagles seeking their prey our eyes met, then we looked at the table at where Dad’s plate was and to my surprise where I thought I would find a cold plate of food, I found a clean table and a flower setting in the middle of it. It was a very awkward moment and I saw the fear in her eyes as if she felt by changing things she may have done something wrong.

  I didn’t have the heart to make her feel bad after all we had been through, then all at once we burst out laughing and never really spoke of that moment and decided to eat in the living room after that. We both made a promise to make each other laugh at least once a day after that. Well, summer was upon us and it was time our days got longer as Treasure went back to work and the girls and I were back to our old cutting up. Mornings of junk food followed by sunning at our local pool to hours and hours of doing nothing, oh what a life. We forgot what happened to Dad’s wrecked car as the days passed on and we never had a chance to see it up close anyway or at least that’s what I thought.

  It seems my three friends had not only seen it up close once but returned to see it as they missed my dad as much as I did for they grew up with him in their lives just as I had. So it must have brought them some closure because one day on the way home from the pool, they took me past the old wrecking yard where the car was stored. I did not know why the name on the sign looked familiar to me as I gazed at it as we got closer. With every step came a flash in my head as pictures shown over and over and like a camera out of focus they only came in clear as my memory came back to me. After seeing that sign on the door of the wrecker truck while I was passing a wreck that the police had being cleaned up on the way to the hospital, it hit me, it was Dad’s wreck as well. The closer we got, I could see the truck and I saw a gray mangled car under a tree with ribbons and flowers around it. With a heavy heart and weak knees, I managed to keep walking as the tears eased down my face, not a painful cry but one more of peace and acceptance.

  Somehow in all that pain, I found some peace and we all stopped and looked through the fence and the girls told me everyone in town comes by to show their love.

  They held me as we were all holding back the tears and they asked me was I okay and to my surprise I was. I was okay, I wanted to go inside so we did and at first we would just sit and stare at it and each of us would go over a funny moment or a happy memory we had with Dad. We went so often that the owner put up a wooden bench to give us a seat and get us off the ground. Time always seemed to stand still when we were there, I didn’t realize that I was getting home so late and so often that Treasure began to worry so she followed us one day, not that she thought we were doing something wrong, she just knew as fussy as we were about being on time that she knew I must really be passionate about something and she wanted to be a part of it. And when she saw what it was, she didn’t have the heart to intrude on our time so she never spoke of her knowing, she just found herself compelled to spend her lunch breaks sitting on that same bench looking at the same empty car we did over and over. And this went on for a while and no one knew that the other was there except Treasure, but the owner watched us as we all sat looking over.

  We ran into the owner getting pizza one night and he pulled Treasure off to the side and explained to her that he knew about all of us coming to see the car and he told her the insurance company wanted the car and he had put them off for as long as he could but they were coming to get it. She knew that the news had to be hard to deliver but she could tell there was something else that he wasn’t saying but she didn’t push it. So she just asked if she and I could come say goodbye first and the man’s voice muffled and his skin flushed like cold water was in his blood. He gathered every bit of strength he had and said, “Ma’am, don’t you think that may be too much on her saying goodbye to the car her dad and boyfriend died in?” Shock came over her as she knew I didn’t have a boyfriend and she was lost at how he could come up with that thought. He could tell that this news was puzzling to her and he explained (well the letterman jacket in the front is her boyfriend’s). She asked him to let her in before the car was taken and not to speak of the jacket to anyone and they both went away. When I made it back to the car, I could see the wonder in Treasure’s face.

  The whole ride home was quiet, not like a ‘I’m mad you did something wrong’ quiet. I just passed it off as the man must have brought my dad up and she needed some time so I didn’t make a fuss over the silence. She was still quiet most of the night, breaking her silence only to answer me but not to carry the conversation, just a word or two in response and that was it. The next day, she was at the gate when the owner opened it and she ran to the car, climbing into the wreckage as fast as someone would be fast getting out of the wreckage (with a chuckle). I would have given anything to see her rip into that car looking for the jacket he spoke of. And with some help from tools and the owner’s forklift she managed to free the jacket without a scratch.

  She cleaned up and went to work waiting to get off to share this info with me. Not knowing how the jacket got there and not being from around there, she didn’t have any idea what school it was from or who it could be for. The thoughts must have been more than she could bear because she found herself researching that night, calling the cops and asking questions, spending her whole lunch break talking to witnesses over and over.

  After days of asking around and checking into the story of that horrible night over and over with the witnesses and all telling the same thing about a young man being seen running from his car to my dad’s car then running from the wreck never to be seen again. She was torn between not telling me about the mysterious jacket and reliving the pain of that night as each story was told with clear and vivid details. I cannot imagine the heartache she put herself through just to get to the bottom of the stranger but she just couldn’t live without knowing what really happened. And wondering if that kid could have done something to save the love of her life or was something he did that took his life. And either way she was compelled to seek out the truth. Several days had come and gone wit
h Treasure looking into the wreck and with little to go on and not knowing any more than there was someone else there who knew just a bit more than everyone else, just more than she could bear. When she was certain she had gone as far as she could on her own, and she had met with everyone explaining what she had found. She knew that what she found would change everything about that horrible night and it was a major key in that wreck, and she knew that it was time to tell me.

  So she asked me to come in as soon as she got off work one day, out of the blue, I didn’t think much of it but all that changed once I met her at the door, me holding a bag of chips and her holding a jocks letterman jacket having the school colors I had never seen before. The look on her face was that of no sleep and worry. But I could see the confusion of wanting to tell me something but not knowing where to start and not knowing how I would react. So after a brief silence, I asked, “Who’s the jacket for, and why did you need me?”