The Learning Curve

by Melissa Nathan

She tried to move away, but he wasn’t letting her. His grip on her arm was firm.

  ‘How can you call her a bitch?’ she said crossly, moving her arm away. ‘Do you mind? People will see.’

  ‘So what?’ he said urgently. ‘Miss James is leaving. She doesn’t care. I’m leaving, so I’m no longer the bursar. And in two days’ time, Oscar’s not one of your pupils. So what are you running away from?’

  They stared at each other.

  ‘You,’ she said simply.

  It seemed to do the job. He stepped back.

  ‘Right,’ his voice was all quiet. ‘I see. Well, don’t worry. I’m not going to beg. I won’t come in again this term. I’ve only got to pack up my things and I’ll do that in the holidays. We only came to see you, so we’ll be going.’

  Nicky kept her eyes down.

  ‘Good luck with everything,’ he said.

  ‘Hello there,’ cut in Rob, suddenly next to Nicky. ‘Hope I’m not interrupting anything too important –’

  ‘No, not really,’ said Mark. ‘I was just going.’

  ‘No! Don’t go,’ said Nicky desperately. Mark stopped. ‘I – I want to dance with Oscar.’

  ‘Well, I very much doubt he’ll want to dance with you,’ said Mark.

  ‘Well, you haven’t got time anyway, Nicky,’ said Rob urgently. ‘I think you’d better do it before she’s too far gone.’ He nodded in the direction of Miss James who was now shimmying down a wall.

  ‘Do what?’ started Mark. He stared at Nicky.

  ‘I’m withdrawing,’ she said simply. ‘Turns out I wasn’t the best man for the job after all.’

  The look he gave her hurt her more than she could have imagined. It told her that she was not the woman he’d thought she was. Worse, it told her that even though he was leaving the school, he still desperately wanted her to be the next Head because he believed in her. He’d been genuine all along. And yet he wanted to stay in touch with Amanda.

  Thankfully, Rob guided her gently away, towards Miss James, while Mark went to get his and Oscar’s coats.

  Rob and Nicky found Miss James standing on the edge of the dance hall, watching Amanda dancing in the middle of it.

  ‘Isn’t she a clever mover?’ she said, as they approached. ‘Irresistible, I’d say.’

  ‘Miss James,’ said Nicky. ‘I – I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Yes, my dear,’ she said. She turned to Rob. ‘Oh hello, Rob. Do stay, charming boy.’

  ‘Thank you, Miss James.’

  ‘Not at all.’ She turned back to Nicky. ‘What can I do for you, my dear?’

  ‘I want to talk about my application for the headship.’

  Miss James’s smile vanished.

  ‘I – I . . .’ Nicky went on before coming to a halting stop. Rob pinched her arm. ‘I – I . . . don’t think . . . I should . . . I need to withdraw . . .’

  Miss James stared at her. Then she looked at Rob. ‘Gosh! This is all rather . . . puzzling, isn’t it?’ she said. Then she smiled at him sweetly. ‘But you seem to be so good at puzzles, perhaps you’ll be able to make it out.’ He was momentarily unable to answer. Suddenly Miss James clapped her hands.

  ‘Ooh! That reminds me!’ she cried. ‘I’ve got a speech to make.’ She squeezed both their arms. ‘Don’t go away.’

  They watched her as she ran up the stairs on to the stage.

  ‘What happened there?’ asked Rob, his hand squeezing her arm tightly.

  She leant against the wall and watched Mark and Oscar leave, feeling as if her soul was wandering indifferently away. They didn’t even cast a glance back as they opened the hall door and started the long walk down the path. The door stayed open and a gentle summer breeze wafted in.

  Meanwhile, Miss James popped behind the curtains and returned to the front of the stage with her trusty satchel under one arm and a microphone in her hand. As if on cue, the lights went up and the disco stopped. The room burst into hysterical, E-number-fuelled applause. Nicky stared out of the open hall door, watching the last shadows of Mark and Oscar walk down the path outside, further and further away from her life. Oscar kept looking back, but Mark put his arm round the boy’s shoulder and he fell in step with his dad. How could something so slight hurt so much? She made to follow, but two things happened. Amanda walked across the hall and leant laconically in the open doorway, a hair-flicking, smiling sentry. And Rob forcibly stopped Nicky from moving by tightening his grip on her arm.

  ‘You’ll see him at school,’ he whispered. ‘This is important.’

  ‘One two three,’ echoed Miss James’s voice round the hall, tapping the microphone with her finger. ‘One two three. One two three, one two three, one two three. HELLO, EVERYBODY!’

  The room cheered.

  ‘I thought tonight was an appropriate time to announce my successor.’

  The room fell silent. You could have cut the tension with a plastic palette knife.

  ‘But first,’ said Miss James, ‘I have a rather special essay to read.’

  To the murmur of the crowd, she put the microphone on the floor and bent down to fish inside her bag. She pulled out an essay, picked up the microphone and, standing up, put her glasses on the tip of her nose.

  ‘Why I Shouldn’t Hide In Someone Else’s Room,’ she read out, ‘by Oscar Samuels.’

  There was a gentle murmur as everyone tried to find Oscar. Nicky’s thoughts were fast and simple. She was going to die. Her body went into flight-or-shite mode. She searched frantically for Lilith, hoping that Lilith might run out and catch Oscar before he’d left. But Lilith was too busy looking into the eyes of the DJ, who now had time to look properly back into hers. Where was Daisy? Daisy was gorging on chocolate. She tried to run after Oscar, but Rob pushed her back against the wall, hitting her head against it, and hissed, ‘Don’t even think it,’ into her face. She’d have fainted, but Rob probably wouldn’t have let her.

  Outside, in the soft summer dusk, Oscar started to cry. Mark squeezed his shoulder but felt too depressed to be able to help him. Every step felt like another mile away from her. Why didn’t she want him? Was her career so much more important to her than he was? He was about to blame her for this before he realised that only recently his own career had stood in the way of everything. How could he blame her for doing what he had done for so long? And yet, the pain.

  ‘Do you know anything about this?’ Rob hissed at Nicky as Miss James began to read Oscar’s essay.

  ‘No,’ hissed Nicky back. ‘You might be in luck. He might withdraw my application for me. He may even ruin my entire career.’

  Rob’s face showed something between impatience and anger. ‘Well then,’ he said. ‘Let’s just wait and see.’

  ‘I am in detention,’ (read out Miss James), ‘as punishment for spying on my teachers. But I do not need punishment. I’ve already had my punishment. I have learnt things about adults, about injustice and about love that they don’t teach you in school. Things I never wanted to know: There aren’t always happy endings. Adults are not all good. The baddies do sometimes win. Lying does get you what you want. And true love doesn’t make everything all right.

  To be more specific, this is what I learnt on my school trip at Heatheringdown Primary.’

  Nicky was dumbstruck. Was she about to watch her life swirl down the plughole? What would Oscar have written about the kiss?

  ‘One:’ (Miss James continued), ‘Mr Pattison is having a secret affair with Miss Taylor.’

  Nicky’s entire body did a swooping jump in the air without physically moving. The room gasped. While Miss James paused dramatically, Nicky felt Rob’s body stiffen beside her. His fingers burrowed deeper into her arm. She blinked a few times.

  ‘Two: Mr Pattison proposed to Miss Hobbs and then when my father accused him of lying about his affair with Miss Taylor, lied again, saying that he wasn’t and then calling my father a liar.’

  Nicky tilted her head. Eh? How many liars were there again? Rob started swearing under his breath.


  ‘Three: Miss Hobbs likes Mr Pattison, even though we have called him “Slimy Sir” since Year 3. Daisy says Miss Hobbs likes him because although he is slimy with her she doesn’t notice because he is very good-looking, if you like that sort of thing. Daisy’s mum says that Mr Pattison is harmless to look at but poisonous to touch. A bit like a jellyfish.’

  The room found this hilarious. Daisy started jumping up and down with excitement. She ran across the hall to her mum and they hugged as they continued to listen, with matching smiles on their faces.

  ‘Four: Mr Pattison admitted to Miss Hobbs that he is the puzzle cheat.’

  The entire room gasped as one. Even the DJ gasped. Then there was uproar. Miss James had to pause before she could continue.

  ‘He told her that because she didn’t cheat at the puzzle every morning, she’d never be a good headmistress. This means because of him we are all having an extra half-day at the end of our school year.’

  Angry shouts started to fill the hall and they didn’t notice Miss James swallow hard before continuing.

  ‘Five: Mr Pattison thinks Miss James is –’ (she paused) ‘– “mental”.’

  More uproar. Shouts of ‘Shame!’ Miss James smiled at her crowd and fought back the tears.

  ‘Six: Mr Pattison uses the F-word even more than Year 5.’

  ‘Seven: Miss Taylor, who is having a secret affair with Mr Pattison (See Point One), eavesdropped on a private conversation between me and my dad about him leaving his job. Then she forced my dad to tell her about it, even though he had not even told Miss Hobbs yet (and he’s in love with her) because he had been told not to by Miss James.’

  Nicky gasped and pulled her arm away from Rob. As if he’d come out of a trance, he ran to the steps beside the stage. By the time he’d reached them, the first sausage flew through the air, hitting him squarely on the head. He never made it up to the stage. It was amazing what children could sacrifice when sacrifice was needed. Chocolates, crisps, Cheesy Wotsits, lemonade bottles and even two full cartons of orange juice.

  Mark and Oscar reached G for Gnu.

  ‘Would you like some chocolate when we get home?’ asked Mark.

  Oscar shook his head and sniffed.

  ‘We could watch Johnny English again,’ suggested Mark.

  Another shake and sniff and they lapsed into silence as they approached the end of the learning-curve path. On the squidgy tarmac, Mark suddenly stopped and knelt down, holding Oscar’s arms with his hands.

  ‘Osc, don’t cry, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘She didn’t mean to upset you. She still wanted to dance with you. She loves you. It’s me she doesn’t love.’ But Oscar kept crying and shaking his head. Eventually he leant on his father and mumbled into his father’s neck, ‘Is it because I spied on her that she doesn’t want us?’

  ‘Oh, no!’ Mark took his boy in a hug as Oscar started sobbing.

  Nicky didn’t see what happened to Rob after the chocolates hit him, because she sprinted out of the hall across the playground, down the learning-curve path and towards the car park. She missed Miss James announce ‘the wonderful Miss Hobbs’ as her successor, missed Amanda leave smartly by the side exit without a backward glance, and thankfully missed the sight of Ned and Martha getting it on in the canteen on top of the custard creams.

  She yelled Mark’s name until she was hoarse.

  Silence.

  She started to run again, and by the time she reached the G for Gnu (which she’d change to Goat if she ever got to be Head), she had to pause for breath. She heard a car engine start and began to run again, sobbing as she went. When she reached the car park, she saw a car drive out. It wasn’t Mark’s. She scanned the car park desperately. There at the bottom was Mark’s car and there were Mark and Oscar, about to get in. She yelled their names, her voice now tinny and high. They stopped and looked over to her. She waved pathetically at them. They stared. She walked slowly towards them, her legs unstable, her breath too loud for her to hear herself practise what to say. When she reached them, Oscar came and stood next to his father. She looked at them both.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she offered, in a cracked voice. ‘Oscar, I’m sorry!’

  Oscar ran forward and they met in a fierce, somewhat squeaky hug, Nicky kneeling on the ground, their heads almost level. They leant their foreheads together. Eventually, she moved away.

  ‘I think you owe me a dance,’ she said, tearfully.

  ‘Miss Taylor!’ he rushed. ‘She overheard –’

  ‘I know,’ said Nicky, stroking his hair. ‘I know everything, my love.’ Mark had wandered nearer, and was now standing about a foot away, his frame shadowed by a gentle summer sunset. She looked at him as she said, ‘Miss James has just read out your son’s detention essay to the entire school.’ She held Oscar’s hand.

  Oscar took in a gallon of air and Mark whooped. They all started laughing.

  Then Mark stopped laughing and stepped towards her.

  ‘So you know I was telling the truth,’ he said quickly. ‘About Rob. About me. And how I feel about you. How we both feel about you. You know I love you – we love you – we both love you –’

  ‘Da-ad!’ cried Oscar, blushing fiercely. ‘Da-ad!’

  ‘Actually,’ Nicky stood up, a sob of laughter escaping, ‘Oscar said it even more eloquently than you. If you can imagine that.’ She was still holding Oscar’s hand, partly to stop her own from shaking. ‘I’m so sorry, Mark,’ she said and she felt Oscar’s hand squeeze hers. She squeezed it back as she asked his father quietly, ‘Can you forgive me?’

  ‘Yes! Yes, oh yes,’ he said and they all met in a hug in the playground, Mark making a slight hiccupy noise from his throat. And then the three of them started laughing, swaying and hugging more. And Nicky learnt another lesson, that it was possible to love two people this much at the same time.

  This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted inwriting by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Epub ISBN: 9781407097459

  Version 1.0

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

  Published by Arrow Books in 2006

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  Copyright © Melissa Nathan 2006

  Melissa Nathan has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988 to be identified as the author of this work

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental

  Arrow Books

  Random House Group Limited

  20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London SW1V 2SA

  Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

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  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN 9780099504269