Hopelessly Perfect (Perfectly Imperfect Love Series Book 2)

by S. E. Rose

  “Ash,” he corrects her and looks at the dogs. “May I pet them?”

  Frito licks his face, and he laughs.

  “Of course. This is Frito, and this one is Lacy,” my mom says as she makes the dogs sit. Ash starts petting them and asking a million questions about them as I come around the car.

  My mom gives me a big smile and a hug. “How are you?”

  “Good,” I say, forcing myself to pretend.

  My mom gives me a pointed look. “I heard that you aren’t with—”

  “Mom,” I hiss, glancing down at an oblivious Ash.

  She pretends to zip her mouth closed. “OK, we can chat later.”

  I nod. “How about we go get some sandwiches? We can get them to go and have another carpet picnic.”

  Ash nods enthusiastically. I want him to have a chill time before he begins his outpatient treatments. He still has a long road ahead of him. Things will get a little back to normal, but it won’t be until next school year when it will be more of a normal kid routine.

  We order sandwiches, and Ash orders an extra for the dogs. My mom shrugs, and I give her a look. She grins at me.

  Great, my mom is going to bestow all her pent-up grandmotherly affection on this kid. She’s spent the last few years inquiring when we will all settle down and give her grandbabies. I suppose that would be the normal thing to do at our ages, other than Clark. But she won’t get any grandbabies from me, I think sadly.

  As we walk out of the sandwich shop, Ash spots the ice cream parlor. “Can we have ice cream?”

  I take a deep breath and nod. “OK, but just one scoop.”

  “Yes,” he says, pumping his fist in the air.

  Two scoops and about thirty doggie kisses later, I’m getting Ash back in my car.

  “Well, I look forward to seeing you next weekend,” my mom says to him.

  “Me too! Can we spend the night at your house?” Ash asks.

  My mom looks over at me and back to him. “We will do a slumber party one night, maybe not this weekend, but I promise we will make that happen, OK?”

  Ash crosses his arms. “OK,” he huffs.

  I can tell he’s fading fast, and I give my mom a tight smile and hug.

  “I’ll call you later and we can talk,” she says.

  “Sure,” I answer as I get in the car and drive us back to the house. It only takes about two minutes, but Ash is asleep as I pull in the driveway. I get him unstrapped. He wakes a little and wraps his arms around my neck. I carry him inside and up to bed, taking off his shoes and tucking him in.

  “But the movie,” he mumbles in protest.

  “Take a little nap and then we’ll eat our sandwiches and watch a movie,” I assure him.

  The fact that he doesn’t protest tells me that he is super exhausted. I leave him to sleep and head back downstairs to clean things up. It’s sort of amazing how messy kids can be. There are toys everywhere, and pillows and blankets litter my floor. By the time I finish, I lie down on my couch and feel my eyelids growing heavy.

  The next thing I know, Ash is tugging on my sleeve.

  “Miss Lanie?”

  I open an eye, finding his face right in front of mine.

  “You awake?”

  I giggle. “Uh, yep. Sort of.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Well, then, I think it’s time for that carpet picnic and a movie.”

  He claps his hands and starts organizing pillows and blankets on the floor. I sigh at the fact he has just undone all my cleaning in a matter of seconds, but it’s also cute that he’s made himself at home so quickly.

  We pick a movie and settle in with some lemonade and sandwiches. A few hours later, he falls asleep again. I pick him up and carry him back to bed before cleaning up again.

  I take an extra-long bath instead of a shower, relishing the silence and cleanliness of my bathroom. My phone buzzes, and I see it’s my mom. I groan and answer.

  “Soooo?”

  “It’s no big deal Mom. I just can’t do a relationship right now.”

  “Lane, it’s me you are talking to.”

  I cringe because my mom can see right through my pathetic argument. “I . . . I’m not sure dating a doctor is a good idea for me. It brings back too many memories.”

  “Oh.” My mom’s voice falls silent on the other line, and I know that answer isn’t the one she thought she’d hear.

  “Mom, don’t worry about it, OK? I just want to focus on helping Ash get better right now, and that’s easier to do without having a relationship and all its complications. So, no big deal.”

  “Lanie, I think it’s a very big deal. Maybe you should go talk with your therapist.”

  I roll my eyes. “Maybe.”

  “Promise you’ll think about it,” she demands.

  “OK, Mom. I promise that I’ll think about it.”

  “That’s all I ask. How’s Ash? He’s such a cutie.”

  I shake my head because she’s already so invested in her pseudo-grandchild of less than a week. “He’s fine. He’s sleeping. It was a long day for him.”

  “That was nice of you to take him to see Mrs. Collier. How’s she doing?”

  “She’s doing well. She’s gonna have lots of PT, but she’ll get back to living on her own eventually. I’m not sure she’ll be able to foster anymore, but at least she’ll heal.”

  “That’s good to hear, I mean the healing part.”

  “Yep. I should get to bed, Mom.”

  “Alright, goodnight, sweetie.”

  “Night, Mom.”

  I hang up and stare at my phone for a long moment. The desire to text Brix is overwhelming, but I stand strong. I can’t do it. Maybe I made a mistake in leaving him, but he’d probably never consider taking me back now. I’ve been regretting it since I left the hospital, if I’m being honest with myself.

  I put the phone on the counter, then get out of the tub and get ready for bed. I notice the toothbrush that I lent him is still on my counter. I run a finger over it but can’t bring myself to throw it away.

  I try to keep my mind focused on Ash. Memories flood me as I crawl into bed. I’m suddenly very determined to help this kiddo out. I’ll focus all my energy on making sure he kicks cancer’s ass.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ash is still in bed when I get up the next morning. I force myself downstairs and start making breakfast. When I still don’t hear him, I place his pancakes on a plate and head to his room.

  He rolls over when he sees me, and immediately I know something is wrong. I place a hand on his forehead, and he’s warm.

  Shit. Not good.

  “Hey, buddy. You not feeling so good?” I ask as calmly as I can manage while I reach for the thermometer that I’ve set in his bedside table.

  “I hurt,” he whines. I scan his forehead, and he has a fever. It’s not high but high enough I know we need to go to the hospital. I go into autopilot as I call Dr. Evans first. He says to come right in. I want to call Brix. I need to call Brix. I tell myself that I will as soon as we get to the hospital.

  I get Ash in the car and speed off. Fortunately, traffic is light because it’s the weekend. We get there in record time. Dr. Evans is waiting for us in the emergency room. I see him as Ash gets wheeled back. And then I see Brix. Shit.

  Brix doesn’t say a word to me, but comes over and looks at Ash, examining him.

  “How long has he had a fever?” He’s all business. Shit. I should have called him. Why am I such an idiot?

  “Just this morning.”

  “Has it gone above one oh one?”

  I shake my head.

  “Hey, bud. How are you feeling?” he asks Ash.

  “Not so good.”

  Dr. Evans starts to ask him a bunch of questions, and Brix glares at me, pulling me aside.

  “You should have called me. I should have gotten a call from you, not from Evans. We are supposed to be a team when it comes to Ash.”

  I look down, unable to meet his
eyes. “I’m sorry. I . . . you’re right. I . . . I’m sorry.”

  My eyes glaze over with unshed tears. “Is he going to be alright?”

  “I don’t know. We’ll run some tests. Get him on antibiotics and keep him here overnight for observation. If he’s better tomorrow, then we can talk about going back home.”

  Home. Ash’s home is my home. I want Brix with us. These two have become like a family to me. I’m suddenly overwhelmed by my feelings.

  “You OK?” Brix asks, his voice suddenly devoid of the anger he had a moment ago. His hand touches my arm.

  I realize I’m trembling. “I—I’m fine.”

  “Sit down,” he commands, helping me into a chair. Brix examines me.

  “Have you been sleeping?”

  I shrug, and Brix sighs.

  “You need to sleep.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “Don’t worry about me, OK. I’ll be fine. Go take care of Ashton. He needs you right now.”

  “Fine, but we are going to talk later,” he says as he walks out of the room.

  Brixton

  I make it my mission to find a private room for Ash. I need to talk with Lanie, and I know she won’t leave him for a second. And we aren’t having this conversation in front of other people.

  It takes some string-pulling, but I manage to find a room. I get Ash settled. He falls asleep after a few minutes, thanks to the meds and excitement of the morning.

  I sit a chair next to Lanie. She’s pulled up another chair by Ash’s bed. Her eyes are fixed on him, watching his little chest rise and fall with each breath. She’s an amazing mom already, and she doesn’t even know it.

  “We need to talk,” I say. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, which is a telltale sign that she’s nervous.

  “OK,” she answers slowly.

  I glance over at Ash, but he’s still fast asleep.

  “Talk to me,” I whisper.

  “Here?”

  I nod.

  She sighs and looks away. I decide I need to take drastic measures. I pull on her arm, and she looks at me quizzically. I motion to the hallway.

  “Come on. He’s asleep. He’ll be fine.”

  She follows me, and I glance both ways as I push us into the closet in the hallway, the one where we made out just a few days ago.

  “Brix,” she huffs as I push her back against the wall and lower my head, my lips caressing hers. She quiets immediately, and I go for it. I press my lips firmly to hers, and after a moment, she responds, her lips pressing back against mine. We go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds, our hands running over each other’s bodies, our mouths leaving trails of kisses along each other’s jaws. It’s frantic and hot as hell.

  I pull back after a few seconds. Both our chests are heaving. I’m momentarily transfixed by her breasts as they move up and down with each of her breaths. My eyes slowly move up her body until my gaze meets hers.

  “Lanie, you can’t fucking tell me that we don’t still have something here. Not after you kissed me like that.”

  This time she doesn’t look away as she speaks. “I fucked up, Brix. I . . . I was overwhelmed. I . . . made a mistake, and I thought you’d say it was too late, so I just . . . I’m sorry.”

  I caress her cheek. “Angel, you couldn’t make a mistake if you tried. You are hopelessly perfect.”

  She starts laughing, and I pull back. “What?”

  “I once had a teacher say that about me. My parents told me I needed to misbehave more often.”

  I grin and take her in my arms. “I’m all for misbehaving, Ms. Moore.”

  “Brixton . . .” She trails off and looks at me again.

  “Hey, it’s OK. We’re going to figure this out, alright?”

  She bites her lip again, and I tug it free with my teeth as I kiss her slowly this time, savoring her sweet taste.

  “But—”

  I put a finger to her lips. “No buts.”

  “No coconuts,” she adds with a laugh.

  I grin. “Let me guess: a Moore family saying?”

  She shrugs. “Perhaps.”

  “I want to learn them all, angel. But let’s take this slow, one step at a time.”

  “I—I can do that,” she stammers.

  “Good, because I’m not giving up on you so easily.”

  “Oh?”

  I grin again like the crazy fool that I am. “Nope. You are stuck with me, Lane Laurie Moore.”

  “How’d you know my middle name?”

  “Are you kidding me? Your mom has everything about you guys plastered all over her house. Hell, I could probably find your social security numbers and high school GPAs if I looked around enough.”

  Lanie rolls her eyes. “OK, fact. I can’t argue with that.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “Fine, I won’t.”

  “OK, counselor.”

  “Well played, doctor.”

  She leans back against the wall of the closet.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “I’m not feeling so well. Is there a doctor who can check me out?” she asks with a coy smile.

  “Well, I suppose, since I’m here, I probably should make sure everything is in order. Have you had your breasts examined recently?” I ask with a smirk.

  She swats my arm. “Dr. Crane!”

  I pull her against me. “Don’t worry, I’ll examine every inch of you as soon as we get Ash back home.”

  “I’m not opposed to that.”

  “Good, because it’s happening.”

  “I should probably get back to Ash.”

  “OK, I’ll check on you both in a little bit.”

  She puts her hand on the doorknob and turns to me. “Just for the record, I was going to eventually build up the lady balls to come talk to you.”

  “Oh, were you?”

  She nods.

  “Well, I’m glad we are on the same page.”

  “Me too,” she says as she leaves the closet. Lanie might be the death of me, but she might also be the start of my life.

  Lanie

  It takes a while for Ash’s fever to come down. I pace his room a lot while he sleeps. Around ten at night, Ash’s fever finally breaks. He’s exhausted, and after watching a little television, he falls back asleep.

  I sit in the chair watching him for hours. He’s so small. The weight of my responsibility begins to dawn on me as I watch his tiny chest go up and down with each breath for the millionth time today. This little human is depending on me for so much more than some temporary housing.

  I fall asleep at some point. I dream of the beach, waves, and sand. It’s peaceful in that dream. Everything makes sense. Ash and Brix are there, building sandcastles. It feels . . . right, natural even.

  I wake refreshed and ready to seize the day.

  “I thought you were gonna sleep all day,” Ash says from his bed.

  I sit up and look at him. He looks a lot better today. The color is back in his face, and he’s not sweaty.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask him.

  He shrugs. “Better than yesterday.”

  “That’s good. Did they bring you breakfast yet?”

  He shakes his head. I stand up and press the call button, and I’m surprised when a very ragged-looking Brix comes into the room.

  “Morning,” he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

  “You look . . .” I trail off.

  “Like you slept on the floor!” Ash pipes up.

  Brix chuckles. “That’s not too far off, buddy. I fell asleep on a sofa in my office. How are you feeling?”

  “Better.”

  “Let’s take a look, shall we?” He puts the stethoscope that’s hanging around his neck up to his ears and starts to examine Ash.

  “I think those antibiotics are working. If you still feel good later, we’ll send you back home.”

  Brix looks over at me. “I’d keep him home for a few days. Let him rest. I’ll send him home with some medicine and come by to check on him
.”

  “You’ll come to our house?” Ash asks excitedly.

  “Yep, for you, I will.”

  Ash smiles. “Thanks, Dr. Brix.”

  “Sure thing, buddy. I need to go see a few more patients. I’ll stop by later, OK?”

  Ash nods, and Brix gives him a wink as he exits the room.

  The rest of the day flies by, as Ash and I play some games on my phone. We find some blank paper and start a very competitive game of tic-tac-toe. By four, Brix hasn’t returned, and Ash is antsy to leave.

  “I’ll see if the nurse can discharge you,” I tell him as I walk out to find the nurse on call. I run into Brix at the nurses’ station. He’s deep in conversation with another doctor, so I step to the side and take a seat. I watch him while he speaks. He’s very animated, using hand gestures to get his point across. I smile and then try to cover it. I don’t want anyone suspecting that there’s anything between us, I don’t know what the rules are about that. Can doctors date their patients’ foster parents? My mind begins to race with a million questions about doctors and ethics.

  “Lanie?” Brix’s voice cuts into my thoughts.

  “Oh, hey. Can we get Ash discharged?”

  Brix pulls up a file on his tablet, presumably Ash’s, and then nods. “Yep. His numbers have remained stable all day, and his fever hasn’t spiked again. I’ll get you the paperwork so you can get him home. I’ll come by later and check on him when I get off, alright?”

  I nod. “OK, what time do you get off?”

  “Around seven. It’ll probably be eight by the time I get there.”

  “I can save you some dinner if you like,” I say to him as we walk back to Ash’s room.

  “No need. I can grab a bite here before I head over.”

  “It’s no big deal,” I assure him.

  “Sure, then. That would be nice.”

  Brix walks me through the discharge papers, and Ash and I head home. Ash talks a lot on the way home for a kid that was just in the hospital. He asks about my parents’ dogs, if I would ever have a dog, what’s my favorite type of dog, is there a playground by my house, do my neighbors have kids, what about my parents’ neighbors, and on and on.

  By the time we get home, I’m excited for him to get in the bathtub and go lie down in his bed, because then I can put on a movie in bed for him and have a moment to myself to shower. As awful as that sounds, I need a moment for myself. I’m exhausted from the last twenty-four hours, but I need to stay awake a little longer if Brix is coming over here.