A Million Little Things--A Novel

by Susan Mallery

  She smoothed the front of his dress shirt—required attire for a court appearance. “Have fun.”

  He kissed her, then pulled her into the walk-in pantry. “How are you doing?” he asked, his voice low. “It’s been a couple of weeks. Lucas says things are fine, but what do you think?”

  She smiled. “I’m good. Seriously, it’s okay having him around. I’ll admit I was nervous, but he’s pretty low-key. Now that he can move around on his own, he’s a big help with Jack and I enjoy the company.”

  Lucas was brutally honest. While she didn’t always like what he had to say, she had to admit he usually had a point. And the referral to Alana had worked out.

  Kirk kissed her again. “Should I be worried that you two are getting along so well?”

  She laughed. “He’s not my type and you know it. Besides, even if I was pining, I’m way too old for him.”

  Her husband chuckled. “He might make an exception for you.”

  “As if.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “I swear you have nothing to worry about. I’m feeling better and that’s plenty for me.”

  “Good. I’ll see you tonight.”

  He left. Jen finished in the kitchen, then made all three beds before returning to the front of the house. She walked into the sunroom.

  A square throw rug covered the tile floor. There were large windows that could be opened to allow in a cross breeze, or removed completely in the summer. Rattan furniture covered with thick cushions gave the space a tropical feel. Jack sat on the rug while Lucas was in the chaise closest to the open play area.

  “You have a doctor’s appointment today,” she reminded Lucas as she sat in one of the chairs.

  He groaned. “I don’t want to go.”

  “That’s mature. We need to leave in an hour.” She eyed the sweatpants and T-shirt he’d taken to wearing. Both were easier for him to manage as he recovered. “Did you want to get changed? I guess I could help.”

  “I’m not your kid. I can dress myself.”

  “Someone has attitude this morning.” Lucas was normally pretty even tempered. Even when he was in pain, or telling her what exactly was wrong with her, he never snapped, didn’t yell.

  “Are you concerned that he’ll want you to start physical therapy?” she asked. “I don’t mind driving you.”

  He turned his cold, green gaze on her. “I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.”

  Uh-huh. Jen had her doubts about that. Lucas’s leg was still healing. There was no way he was going to get into that ridiculous car of his. If he thought he was ready to drive, did he think he was ready to be on his own?

  She thought about all he could now do by himself. The day nurse no longer visited and he didn’t need Kirk’s help to get in and out of the shower. He was down to over-the-counter pain meds, except at night. So what was the problem?

  “Do you want to leave or are you worried I want to kick you out?” she asked, deciding to be as blunt as he had been with her.

  “Both.”

  Funny how it was the first time she thought maybe he was lying to her. Which meant what? She knew that if Lucas wanted to go, he would be gone. Which left her only one option.

  She walked over to the foot of his chaise and sat down. “Lucas, I like having you here. Okay, at first I only invited you because I was grateful for what you did, but it’s different now. You’re so good with Jack and while your advice isn’t exactly gently delivered, it’s usually dead-on. Stay as long as you want. I mean that.”

  His mouth twisted. “With no cigars and no women? I don’t think so.”

  She laughed. “Until they become a more pressing need, don’t worry about it. You’re good for Jack and you’re good for me.”

  “Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “Why haven’t you gone back to work? It’s past time. What are you waiting for? There’s nothing wrong with your kid.”

  And just like that, her warm fuzzies evaporated. “You really have to work on your bedside manner.”

  “I’m the one who was shot, not you.”

  “You’ve been playing that card a little too long.”

  “Answer the question.”

  She wanted to say she didn’t have to, but instead told herself that it was easier to talk to him about this kind of thing than nearly anyone else.

  “I still worry about Jack.”

  He groaned. “Give it up.”

  “I can’t. He’s my son.”

  “You hover. The kid doesn’t talk because you anticipate his every need. Next?”

  Would it be horribly wrong to slap him? “I don’t want to put him in day care. I’ve visited a couple of them and they’re awful. I asked my mom if she would look after him, but that didn’t go well.”

  “What a surprise. You mean she doesn’t want to give up her life to take care of your child? Shocking. You should disown her. Why even have a mother if she’s going to act like that?”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.”

  “Sarcasm suits everyone.” His voice gentled. “It’s time, Jen. Go be normal. You’ll like it.”

  As quickly as it had formed, her irritation disappeared. Mostly because in that moment, Lucas reminded her so much of her dad that she wanted to fling herself at him and be held in an embrace only a father could give. But Lucas wouldn’t understand and he wasn’t her father, so she pushed the urge away and stood.

  “Let me know if you want to get changed and need help,” she said.

  “Not happening.”

  “And be ready to leave in an hour.”

  “Or what?”

  She smiled. “Trust me. You don’t want to push me.”

  “I’m not worried.” He grinned. “Don’t forget I know you. You’re all talk, kiddo.”

  She walked back into the house. She knew that Lucas hadn’t been trying to hurt her, but his parting shot had stung. Was he right? Was she all talk? And if she was—how could she not want to change?

  * * *

  Zoe was starting to think she should simply have cards printed up explaining she was pregnant with her ex’s baby. Maybe something from Vistaprint. She could upload some text, a few pictures and stop having to tell the same awful story over and over again.

  A plan that would work just fine with many of the people in her life, but not with Chad, she thought grimly. He was going to have to hear the entire sordid tale directly from her. Which was why she’d asked him to stop by after work.

  She’d spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out what she was going to say. Oh, she knew the facts, but the order she said them mattered. In a perfect world, he would simply sign away the rights to his child and she would never have to deal with him again. But knowing how Chad felt about his kids made her less hopeful. Although he might not want any more children and there was the issue of child support. Maybe he would be happy to walk away.

  The lawyer she’d gone to see had warned her the chances of that were unlikely. In California, signing away parental rights wasn’t as easy as they made it look in the movies. As a rule, the fathers who got to escape their responsibilities were minors—usually well under the age of eighteen. The state took a dim view of capable adult males weaseling out of fatherhood.

  Zoe paced her living room and checked the time every fifteen seconds from four thirty until five fifteen, which was when Chad had told her to expect him. She’d debated serving drinks and snacks, and then had decided once she’d shared her news and made her case for him signing away rights, they weren’t going to linger over chips and salsa.

  She let him into her living room and motioned to the sofa.

  “What’s up?” he asked as he took a seat.

  She settled as far away from him as she could. She felt sick to her stomach, which could have been either nerves or the pregnancy. Why d
id it have to be like this?

  “We’re not getting back together,” she began, then wondered if she should have started somewhere else.

  Chad started to stand. “I don’t need this crap,” he said. “Why did you want to talk to me? I already got it, Zoe. You want some fairy-tale relationship. Fine. That isn’t me. What we had was good, but you’re too stubborn to see that.”

  “Wait. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Please sit down. This is important.”

  He reluctantly settled back on the sofa and stared at her. She sucked in a breath.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Chad stared at her. Nothing about his expression changed. His jaw tightened a little but otherwise he didn’t move. She waited until he finally asked, “You’re sure?”

  She told him about the shot not working. “I had an ultrasound. There’s a baby.”

  “And it’s mine?”

  She told herself not to get angry. They’d split up. It was a reasonable question. “Yes. I understand that you’ll want confirmation of that. I would prefer to wait until after the baby is born so we can do a cheek swab. Any other testing at this point is too invasive.”

  He turned away and then looked back at her. “You’re pregnant and you’re keeping the baby?”

  She nodded and waited. He didn’t say anything else and she still couldn’t read his expression. He looked calm, which surprised her. She’d thought there would be screaming and accusations.

  “This isn’t what either of us wanted,” she began, her voice deliberately quiet and calm. “It’s a shock and you need time. I get that. Like I said, I’m keeping the baby. Anything else isn’t an option for me. But you already have two kids you love very much. If you want to sign away your rights, I’m okay with that. I have a lawyer who can—”

  “No.” His gaze was direct. “No, I won’t sign away my rights.” He stood and wiped his palms on his jeans. “I have to think this through. I have to figure this out. I wasn’t expecting—” He crossed to her small kitchen, then walked back. “Hell, Zoe. Pregnant?”

  She shrugged.

  “I need to think,” he told her. “Let me get back to you.”

  She stood. “Sure. There’s plenty of time. I’m only two and a half months along. There’s nothing to be done right now.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you.” He crossed to the door, then turned back to her. “You’re doing all right?”

  “I’m fine.”

  He nodded and left. She stood by the door for a few seconds, in case he came back. When she heard the sound of his car, she walked into her kitchen.

  Mason sat on the wide windowsill. He blinked as if asking how things had gone.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “He didn’t yell, which is always good. I don’t think he’s going to give up the baby, which means we’re stuck with him for a very long time.”

  Mason walked over to rub against her. She stroked his cheek before picking him up. The sound of his soft purr calmed her.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Pam found that reminding herself that Zoe hadn’t gotten pregnant on purpose did less to alleviate her anger than she would have hoped. What on earth had the girl been thinking? Worse, Pam knew she was partially to blame. Oh, not for the pregnancy. That was all on Zoe and Chad and possibly the inept drug company that had failed to do one seemingly simple job. No, her culpability came from the fact that she’d been so sure she knew best. She’d been so sure that Zoe and Steven would be a great couple. She’d thrown them together, and look! It had worked. Now they were dating and despite Zoe’s pregnancy, Steven still thought he might stay with her.

  Pam had sent him several long, logically written emails explaining why being with Zoe was a huge mistake. She’d pointed out all the reasons he would regret it later. So far he’d ignored her—well, except for a brief text telling her that while he loved her, she needed to back off. Now she had a whole truckload of anger and nowhere to put it.

  She thought about talking to Jen but was concerned her daughter would take her friend’s side. There was no way Pam could speak to Zoe herself. She would start shrieking and that never went well.

  She cleaned her condo, worked on several projects for MWF, then took Lulu for a walk. While they were out, she got a text from Miguel, asking if he could stop by. They agreed he would be at her place in twenty minutes.

  She didn’t rush home. There was no point in checking her makeup or putting out food. His wasn’t a social call—not the way it had been before. She guessed he wanted to talk about Zoe and Steven—parent to parent. The problem was going to be that they were on opposite sides.

  He was waiting in the building lobby when she and Lulu returned. He smiled at her in that charming way of his. Her feckless stomach seemed to flop over, which the rest of her ignored. This was not a time to be flirtatious, she reminded herself. This was war. Or at the very least, a pending skirmish.

  “How have you been?” he asked as they rode up in the elevator together.

  “Fine. And yourself?”

  “Excellent.”

  They reached the top floor. Pam led the way to her condo and they went inside. She opened the patio slider, but stayed in the living room. Lulu drank from her water bowl, then got into her bed, as if prepared to enjoy the show.

  Miguel, as handsome as ever, damn him, waited for her to take a seat before he did the same. Then he smiled again.

  “It seems we have something to talk about,” he began. “You know about Zoe?”

  “If you mean that she’s pregnant, then yes.”

  “Good. I thought you’d been told.” He paused to study her. “You’re not happy with the news?”

  “Are you?”

  “I am.” The smile returned. “I’m going to be a grandfather and what man wouldn’t want that? I’m hoping for a little girl. Just like her mother. Although a boy would be nice, too. The toys are more interesting.” He raised a shoulder. “I’m easy to please.”

  Pam realized she hadn’t thought about Zoe having a baby. Oh, she’d been dwelling on the pregnancy for days now, but not the actual baby. The sweet smell and shape of a newborn, the soft skin, the little hands. Her wall of determination started to crack, but then she reminded herself about what this would mean to Steven and her resolve strengthened.

  “What about Chad?” she asked.

  “Zoe should marry him.”

  “What?” Pam’s voice was a yelp. “You want her to marry Chad?”

  “Of course. He’s the father of her baby.”

  “He’s a jerk. You can’t be serious. He cheated on his first wife for years. He lied about being married. He refused to let Zoe get to know his children. He strung her along for five years. Why on earth would you want a man like that in your daughter’s life?”

  Miguel stared at her as if she’d grown a second head. Or maybe a third. A blurt too late, she realized maybe Zoe hadn’t exactly shared all that with her father. Because what daughter would?

  “Pretend I didn’t say that,” Pam muttered, feeling her cheeks flush.

  Miguel’s jaw clenched. “She didn’t tell me all that.”

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’ve been upset. I shouldn’t have said any of it.” She felt horrible for betraying a friend’s confidence. She never did that. Zoe being pregnant didn’t excuse her.

  “I never liked Chad, but things are different now. I thought...” Miguel muttered something under his breath. “This complicates things.”

  “I agree. Zoe needs time to figure out what’s best for her.”

  His head snapped up as he glared at her. “What does that mean?”

  “Just that she has a lot on her mind.”

  “You’re worried about Steven.”

&nb
sp; “Of course. He’s my son.”

  “Zoe’s my daughter.”

  “She and Steven haven’t been going out very long. It doesn’t make sense for them to stay together, considering her change in circumstances.”

  “You’d rather he abandon her?” Miguel’s voice was deceptively soft.

  “Why does it have to be abandoning? Why can’t they just break up? Like it or not, Chad is going to be in her life forever. The child is going to be Chad’s, not Steven’s. Being a stepparent isn’t easy. Why would he take that on? It’s not like he’s the one who got pregnant.”

  Oops. Wrong thing to say.

  “You blame my daughter?”

  “She is the one who had sex with her ex.”

  “It was a mistake. You’ve never made one?”

  “Not like that.” She felt her temper rising and tried to keep calm. “Look, Zoe’s great. I really like her. But I’m also worried about Steven. He’s thinking about this idealistically and has no idea what he’s getting into. Neither of us think Chad is a great guy, but he’s the father and his rights will always come first. He will always have the final say over another man. Steven and Zoe barely know each other. I think they both need time to assess where they are.”

  “You’re protecting your son.”

  “Yes.”

  “As I will protect my daughter.” He studied her. “Where does this leave us?”

  “You mean can we get past this to still be friends?”

  He nodded.

  Oh. She hadn’t thought of that. “Do you want to?”

  “I don’t know.”

  An honest response that hit her like a slap. She wasn’t sure what she felt about Miguel. He was very handsome and interesting, and when she was with him, she was reminded that there were still possibilities. Not that they were involved in that way, she told herself. Still, she’d enjoyed her time with Miguel and didn’t want to see it end.

  “After all, this is so new,” he told her. “It doesn’t make much sense for us to keep seeing each other, considering our change in circumstances.”

  He was using her own words against her. Before she could figure out what to say in return, he stood.