by Kent, Rina
As soon as I say the word ‘rape’, I regret it. I don’t want to put ideas in his screwed up head. But then again, he’s a fucking lunatic, so he probably had worse ideas than that.
He arches an eyebrow. “Do you want to be raped by me?”
“What? No! Seriously? Is that your only deduction from what I said?”
“What am I supposed to deduce?” He lowers himself on his elbows so his chest grazes my breasts. “You just said that you wanted me to take from you.”
“I asked why you didn’t take from me, not that I wanted you to.”
“Semantics.”
“You’re delusional.”
His fingers find my hair, stroking it gently. Too gently. “You know, the more you say I’m delusional, the surer I am that you’re the delusional one. You want to deny yourself? Fine. You want to think you’re a politically correct person? Also fine. You can lie to yourself all you like, but you don’t fucking lie to me. You don’t rub yourself all over my dick then pretend you don’t want me.”
My lips tremble and I thin them into a line.
“I’m trying to get to you.” His nose drops to my neck, and I suck in a cracked breath. “I’m really trying to be fucking nice here, but if you keep hiding in that ice castle, I’ll have no choice but to conquer.”
My fingers dig into his T-shirt, wanting to inflict pain. “Do I even have a choice in this?”
“You always have a choice with me. A queen or a pawn.”
Of course. There’s no in-between with him. “Either I become the most important piece or the most insignificant one. How… poetic.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You play chess.”
“How do you know that?”
“Those who don’t play think that the king is the most important piece because the game is over when he dies. They don’t know that the king is useless without his queen.”
Now, that is… poetic. Who knew someone like Aiden cared about the queen?
“We can play?” I ask tentatively. I’d take any option to dissipate the tension and get him off me.
“We have to take care of you first.”
Of course, he wouldn’t fall for that. Dickhead.
“Take care of what?”
“Have you heard about rape fantasy?”
My breathing catches in my throat. Fuck, fuck.
How the hell does he know about that? I mean, I read about it, I even so shamelessly searched it in the porn site bar. I felt sick to my stomach for the entire week after. How could I be interested in something that ruined women’s lives?
How could I be so deprived to fantasise about it?
Maybe Aiden is my karma. Maybe I’m being punished for ever thinking about that.
A spark shines in his eyes. “You have heard about it.”
“No,” I murmur turning my head to the side. “You’re the only one who’s interested in these perverted things.”
God. I’m such a hypocrite.
“You should look it up.” He grabs my chin and makes me face him. “I think you’ll find it useful.”
“Useful how?”
A wolfish grin curves his lips. He knows he got my interest. Bastard.
“There are people who like the rush of adrenaline that comes with rough, out of control sex. So they like being forced into it.”
“People like to be raped?” I thought it was just a fantasy, not practical… right?
“No. They like being forced to have sex. They usually plan it with their partners, so it’s technically not rape.”
“Is that the excuse you tell yourself?”
“I don’t tell myself excuses. I’m completely assertive of who and what I am. I know I’m different, I just don’t care.” His finger traces down my cheek. “The excuse is for you since you seem to so desperately need it.”
“I do not.”
“Fuck, Elsa. Stop being so damn stubborn.”
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” I hate the tremors in my voice. “Why don’t you let me go?”
A strange tightness grips my chest at the thought.
What if he really lets me go. What if he —
“I can’t,” His voice drops.
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
Something sharp and heavy slices through my chest. Aiden always has a choice. Hell, he even makes it clear that all choices are to his benefit.
It doesn’t make sense that he’s the one without a choice.
“Are you playing another mind game?”
“Are you, Elsa? Because I was never supposed to like you this much. Hell. I wasn’t supposed to think about you more than I think of myself.”
I was never supposed to like you this much.
Did I hear that right? Did Aiden just admit to liking me?
I think it’s right. I think… Aiden likes me.
And I believe him.
Unlike me, Aiden is assertive to a fault. He’s not afraid of admitting what he wants.
He’s free in ways you aren’t. Maybe that’s why you’re attracted to him.
Kim’s words hit me like an unexpected blow.
I waited for you to want me.
I’m not supposed to like you this much.
Those words dig black holes into my defences.
I let my hand travel up from his chest to the rippling tendons of his collarbone. Aiden grabs my hand in his stronger one.
He shakes his head once. “Not so fast.”
“W-what? But why?” Shame at being rejected sinks at the bottom of my stomach.
Isn’t this what he wanted?
“Kiss me,” he says.
“Kiss you,” I repeat, still confused out of my mind.
“This time, I want you to wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me first, Elsa.”
He’s so unfair. I should’ve known that he won’t only take. I should’ve known that he’d eventually want me to give.
He’s not interested in one battle, he wants to win the entire bloody war.
A small voice whispers that I’ll regret this tomorrow, but I don’t care about tomorrow right now.
I retrieve my hand from his and wrap both my arms around his neck.
Then I seal my lips to his.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
My kiss is tentative. Experimental.
It’s the first time I initiate a kiss. The first time I kiss Aiden without him basically forcing it on me.
At first, it’s a slight press of my lips against his firm ones. Then, my tongue darts out and I lick his bottom lip over and over. Gaining more boldness, I pull myself up and slightly nibble on it before trailing soft kisses on the corner of his mouth.
The whole time, Aiden watches me with hooded eyes. Both his arms are taut as he leans his hands on the bed.
He’s not touching me.
My bold phase shrinks a little. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe —
“Fuck this,” Aiden groans as his lips crash to mine.
His kiss is the complete opposite of my gentle ones. Aiden kisses like a madman searching for his sanity. It’s always out of control. My breathing ceases when he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth and devours me.
That’s what Aiden does. He devours. He shreds me apart and strips me bare until he owns every part of me.
Now that he’s taking charge, I feel like I can… let go.
Let go.
What a weird sensation.
I was never tempted to let go before. If anything, I did everything by the rules so I wouldn’t have to let go.
Aiden’s body is all over me. His legs barge between my trembling thighs. His chest flattens my aching breasts. His hands are all over my hair, my cheeks, my face.
He’s all over me.
His raw intensity seeps under my skin and shoots straight into my veins. It’s contagious.
He’s contagious.
Aiden wrenches his mouth from mine, and we both pant, breathing each other in.
I’m caught in
his stormy gaze.
Since the beginning, he’s always looked at me differently like we’re connected.
Like he knows me better than anyone else.
And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to know him better than anyone, too.
He breaks eye contact to fling my pyjamas’ top over my head. The cloth rubs against my hard, sensitive nipples, sending a chill of pleasure between my legs.
He palms one breast with a rough hand and grunts. “Did I tell you how much I love these?”
His fiery gaze never leaves mine as he sucks a nipple into his mouth and pulls at it with his teeth. He doesn’t bite, but the threat is there.
My eyes droop and a moan spills from my throat.
Still teasing with his teeth, he pinches the other nipple. His stormy eyes stay transfixed on me as if he’s challenging — or taunting me.
My fingers slide to his hair and I pull on the jet black strands. I don’t know if it’s to push or pull him.
And I don’t get to decide.
Aiden wraps a firm hand around my throat and bites down on my nipple so hard, pain shoots across my spine and pleasure pools in my core. His tongue laps around it, soothing the ache before he does it again. I cry out, my back arching.
I can’t move much because he’s imprisoning me by his grip on my throat.
It’s like falling down a cliff. There should be nothing pleasing about that because when I hit the bottom, I’ll be dead. But right now? I don’t think about the landing. I’m suspended in the act of falling. Beyond fear and self-imposed shackles, there’s a thrill, excitement. The… unknown.
I’m becoming addicted to it.
Still biting down on my nipple, Aiden reaches the other hand to yank down my pyjamas’ shorts. His fingers find my slick folds and he groans as he teases his way down.
My body feels like it’s been lit on fire while still falling down that cliff. A thousand goosebumps cover my skin and seep into my bones.
“Aiden…”
He lifts his head. Lust and something else I can’t put my finger on contort his face.
My fingers curl into his T-shirt and I attempt to pull it over his head. He clutches my fingers over his T-shirt, stopping me. Something crosses his handsome features. It’s fast, and maybe if I weren’t so much under his spell, I would’ve figured out its meaning.
The expression vanishes as fast as it came, and he yanks his T-shirt over his head.
He’s an athlete so the six-packs shouldn’t be a surprise, but the perfect proportions are a bit unfair. It’s like he’s shooting for a magazine.
Now that he’s bending his arms, the arrow tattoos seem to be pointing straight at his heart.
Or mine.
When my gaze slides back to his, he’s watching me with a hard expression like he’s waiting for me to pounce.
I have no doubt that if I do fight, he’ll fight back.
Depending on my choice, he’ll make it as ugly or as pretty as he deems necessary.
A queen or a pawn.
My fingers trace up his hard sides and to his taut stomach. I don’t know when touching him has become an addiction.
A pleasure.
A necessity.
What would it feel like to engrave myself under his skin?
That’s… a scary thought.
Aiden yanks down his trousers along with his boxer briefs.
He’s as hard as the other time — if not more.
It’ll hurt.
Why do I want it to hurt?
Without releasing my throat, he positions himself between my legs. His free hand cups my jaw. His stormy eyes forge a path straight into my soul. “You drive me fucking crazy.”
“You drive me crazy, too. It isn’t funny anymore.”
Aiden is the cliff.
Unknown.
Unplanned.
Unpredictable.
He’s my worst nightmare.
He’s also the closest thing I’ve had to freedom.
Aiden squeezes my throat and slams inside me.
He tears me apart in one go.
I shriek against his mouth.
It hurts.
Holy shit.
It fucking hurts.
It’s like being shred open from the inside by his size.
According to Aunt’s romance novels, other virgins in this situation would wait to adjust. They’d feel the need for the man to go easy.
Me? I want it to go on.
The pain. I want the pain to stay.
My body arches into Aiden’s. I grip his shoulders so tightly, my nails sink into the skin.
He freezes, eyes meeting mine, as he growls. “You’re a virgin? How the fuck are you a virgin? Why —”
“D-don’t stop.” I cut him off, slowly rocking my hips. “Take it.”
I want him to go hard on me because I need the pain, I don’t know why, but I just do.
The pain means I’m alive. I’m living this moment.
Considering Aiden’s rough nature, I expected him to accept the invitation.
Instead, he slowly rocks his hips forward, his thrusts are minimal as if he’s waiting for me to adjust.
Then… he kisses me.
It’s passionate but gentle. Our tongues dance in an erotic, slow dance. He releases my neck and he pulls me into him so I’m sitting on his lap. The new depth causes my knees to shake.
His thrusts become slow and deep and maddening.
I wanted the pain, but I got this euphoric feeling I didn’t know I needed.
Aiden smashed the illusion I had. He broke it and tore it to the ground.
Something inside me cracks.
My fingers thread into his hair and I kiss him back with an intensity that matches his. I meet the gentle rock of his hips with mine.
For what seems like forever, we kiss, letting our bodies get accustomed to each other. We kiss like it’s the last kiss we’ll ever have.
Like a disaster will happen if we stop kissing.
I try urging him to go harder by pulling on his hair, but he tugs on my hair back as if silently communicating he won’t follow my command.
Our limbs are so entangled that I don’t know where he starts and I begin. A sheen of sweat covers our bodies and the smell of sex lingers in the air like an aphrodisiac.
Aiden thrusts faster and sharper. A whimper-like moan escapes my lips when he hits a sensitive spot inside.
Without breaking his rhythm, Aiden pushes me so I’m on my back. His hands slip under my thighs and he flings both my legs over his broad shoulders.
He wraps his hand around my throat whether to keep me in place or as a threat, I don’t know.
And I don’t have time to think about it.
He pounds into me with renewed energy. The new angle causes my walls to contract.
The headboard creaks with every wild thrust and rock of his pelvis against mine. My heart palpitations are so fast, I’m scared I’ll have a heart attack.
It’ll be worth it.
“You’re so beautiful,” He groans, his rhythm turning rougher and faster with every word he says. “You’re maddening. You’re addictive. You’re fucking up everything.”
I don’t last.
Maybe it’s because of his words, the feel of him inside me, or his hand around my throat.
Or all of the above.
A wave slashes through me and I scream as I fall down with no landing in sight.
This orgasm is nothing like the ones I had before. It’s primal, raw, and so overwhelming that I can’t breathe.
Aiden continues his overwhelming onslaught, chasing his own orgasm. He goes on and on.
And on.
I’m at that delirious state like the other time. I feel so sensitive and sore, but I don’t want him to stop.
I crave the pain and the pleasure he brings.
I crave him.
His shoulders tense. I still, wanting to watch him fall over the edge as he did to me.
Aiden doesn’t let me.
&
nbsp; He reaches down to my clit and teases it before thrusting into me one final time. I come again with a hoarse cry.
“Fuck,” he groans as warmth fills my insides.
Aiden remains inside me as he pulls me to him. My head rests on his chest, my ear against his heartbeat. His natural, but erratic heartbeat.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I brush my lips against his skin and remain that way as my lids flutter closed.
Free.
Is this what freedom’s supposed to be like?
Chapter Thirty
Something warm envelops my skin almost like...
Water.
I startle awake, expecting to find myself in that murky, dark water from the nightmares.
My breathing returns to normal when I recognise my surroundings. I’m in my bathroom with its white tiles and pastel pink decor.
I’m also sitting in my half-full bathtub. Completely naked.
Warm water cascades from the faucet, slowly submerging my breasts.
Aiden faces me, but is staring sideways, fussing with my shampoo in all his naked glory.
I bite my lower lip as I openly gawk at him. There’s a primal quality to his beauty that drew my attention since the first time I met him.
His muscles flex with every move. The arrow tattoos slither with the rippling of his biceps. His cock is semi-hard, pointing in my direction. I wonder if it’s always in that state because I’ve never seen it flaccid.
“You’re finally awake, sleepyhead,” he says without lifting his head.
I let my hand roam in the water. I can’t believe Aiden is making me a bubble bath.
“How long have I been out?” I ask.
“About two hours.”
“And what did you do during that entire time?”
“Watched you.”
Watched you.
Damn him and how easily he can say things like that. If it were me, I would’ve never admitted it.
When I remain silent, he slides his metallic eyes up my body, and even though it’s covered with bubbles, it’s like he can see through them.
“I was also going through your Instagram.”
I gulp. “You go through my Instagram?”
He tilts his head to the side. “Why do you think I followed you?”
I always thought it was some bullying method, not that he was actually taking the following factor seriously.