Sketches New and Old, Part 4.

by Mark Twain

  "Well, dah was my ole man gone, an' all my chil'en, all my seven chil'en--an' six of 'em I hain't set eyes on ag'in to dis day, an' dat'stwenty-two year ago las' Easter. De man dat bought me b'long' inNewbern, an' he took me dah. Well, bymeby de years roll on an' de wawcome. My marster he was a Confedrit colonel, an' I was his family'scook. So when de Unions took dat town dey all run away an' lef' me allby myse'f wid de other niggers in dat mons'us big house. So de big Unionofficers move in dah, an' dey ask me would I cook for dem. 'Lord blessyou,' says I, 'dat what I's for.'

  "Dey wa'n't no small-fry officers, mine you, de was de biggest dey is;an' de way dey made dem sojers mosey roun'! De Gen'l he tole me to bossdat kitchen; an' he say, 'If anybody come meddlin' wid you, you jist make'em walk chalk; don't you be afeared,' he say; 'you's 'mong frens now.'

  "Well, I thinks to myse'f, if my little Henry ever got a chance to runaway, he'd make to de Norf, o' course. So one day I comes in dah whar debig officers was, in de parlor, an' I drops a kurtchy, so, an' I up an'tole 'em 'bout my Henry, dey a-listenin' to my troubles jist de same asif I was white folks; an' I says, 'What I come for is beca'se if he gotaway and got up Norf whar you gemmen comes from, you might 'a' seen him,maybe, an' could tell me so as I could fine him ag'in; he was verylittle, an' he had a sk-yar on his lef' wris' an' at de top of hisforehead.' Den dey look mournful, an' de Gen'l says, 'How long sence youlos' him?' an' I say, 'Thirteen year. Den de Gen'l say, 'He wouldn't belittle no mo' now--he's a man!'

  "I never thought o' dat befo'! He was only dat little feller to me yit.I never thought 'bout him growin' up an' bein' big. But I see it den.None o' de gemmen had run acrost him, so dey couldn't do nothin' for me.But all dat time, do' I didn't know it, my Henry was run off to de Norf,years an' years, an' he was a barber, too, an' worked for hisse'f. An'bymeby, when de waw come he ups an' he says: 'I's done barberin',' hesays, 'I's gwyne to fine my ole mammy, less'n she's dead.' So he soleout an' went to whar dey was recruitin', an' hired hisse'f out to decolonel for his servant an' den he went all froo de battles everywhah,huntin' for his ole mammy; yes, indeedy, he'd hire to fust one officeran' den another, tell he'd ransacked de whole Souf; but you see I didn'tknow nuffin 'bout dis. How was I gwyne to know it?

  "Well, one night we had a big sojer ball; de sojers dah at Newbern wasalways havin' balls an' carryin' on. Dey had 'em in my kitchen, heaps o'times, 'ca'se it was so big. Mine you, I was down on sich doin's;beca'se my place was wid de officers, an' it rasp me to have dem commonsojers cavortin' roun' in my kitchen like dat. But I alway' stood aroun'an kep' things straight, I did; an' sometimes dey'd git my dander up, an'den I'd make 'em clar dat kitchen mine I tell you!

  "Well, one night--it was a Friday night--dey comes a whole platoon f'm anigger ridgment da was on guard at de house--de house was head quarters,you know-an' den I was jist a-bilin' mad? I was jist a-boomin'! Iswelled aroun', an swelled aroun'; I jist was a-itchin' for 'em to dosomefin for to start me. An' dey was a-waltzin' an a dancin'! my but deywas havin' a time! an I jist a-swellin' an' a-swellin' up! Pooty soon,'long comes sich a spruce young nigger a-sailin' down de room wid ayaller wench roun' de wais'; an' roun an' roun' an roun' dey went, enoughto make a body drunk to look at 'em; an' when dey got abreas' o' me, deywent to kin' o' balancin' aroun' fust on one leg an' den on t'other, an'smilin' at my big red turban, an' makin' fun, an' I ups an' says 'Gitalong wid you!--rubbage!' De young man's face kin' o' changed, all of asudden, for 'bout a second but den he went to smilin' ag'in, same as hewas befo'. Well, 'bout dis time, in comes some niggers dat played musicand b'long' to de ban', an' dey never could git along widout puttin' onairs. An de very fust air dey put on dat night, I lit into em! Deylaughed, an' dat made me wuss. De res' o' de niggers got to laughin',an' den my soul alive but I was hot! My eye was jist a-blazin'! I jiststraightened myself up so--jist as I is now, plum to de ceilin', mos'--an' I digs my fists into my hips, an' I says, 'Look-a-heah!' I says, 'Iwant you niggers to understan' dat I wa'n't bawn in de mash to be fool'by trash! I's one o' de ole Blue hen's Chickens, I is!'--an' den I seedat young man stan' a-starin' an' stiff, lookin' kin' o' up at de ceilin'like he fo'got somefin, an' couldn't 'member it no mo'. Well, I jistmarch' on dem niggers--so, lookin' like a gen'l--an' dey jist cave' awaybefo' me an' out at de do'. An' as dis young man a-goin' out, I heah himsay to another nigger, 'Jim,' he says, 'you go 'long an' tell de cap'n Ibe on han' 'bout eight o'clock in de mawnin'; dey's somefin on my mine,'he says; 'I don't sleep no mo' dis night. You go 'long,' he says, 'an'leave me by my own se'f.'

  "Dis was 'bout one o'clock in de mawnin'. Well, 'bout seven, I was upan' on han', gittin' de officers' breakfast. I was a-stoopin' down by destove jist so, same as if yo' foot was de stove--an' I'd opened de stovedo' wid my right han'--so, pushin' it back, jist as I pushes yo' foot--an' I'd jist got de pan o' hot biscuits in my han' an' was 'bout toraise up, when I see a black face come aroun' under mine, an' de eyesa-lookin' up into mine, jist as I's a-lookin' up clost under yo' facenow; an' I jist stopped right dah, an' never budged! jist gazed an' gazedso; an' de pan begin to tremble, an' all of a sudden I knowed! De pandrop' on de flo' an' I grab his lef' han' an' shove back his sleeve--jistso, as I's doin' to you--an' den I goes for his forehead an' push de hairback so, an' 'Boy!' I says, 'if you an't my Henry, what is you doin' widdis welt on yo' wris' an' dat sk-yar on yo' forehead? De Lord God obheaven be praise', I got my own ag'in!'

  "Oh no' Misto C-----, I hain't had no trouble. An' no joy!"