by Jill Lynn
“They look good to me.”
“I’m not sure this fabric is strong enough at the knees. Especially with him crawling like he is.”
“How long will he wear them? How sturdy do they need to be?”
“Good point. He’s growing so fast it will probably only be a few months. And he’s starting to pull up and cruise a bit.” She analyzed the pants with an intensity and time commitment someone might reserve for Olympic training.
Emma was cute when she shopped. Or took a breath. Or flashed a smile at him without knowing that it rendered him as helpless as a newborn calf in a snowstorm.
And even though the woman could turn shopping into a decathlon, he was somehow still enjoying himself.
Being with Emma did that to him, it seemed, no matter where they were. And if Emma could make shopping for baby clothes tolerable, she could literally hold the moon in the sky with her pinky finger.
Though at the rate they were going, she’d have them in another three stores before she found the “right” things for Hudson. And all of this for a ten-month-old baby!
“Can’t believe he’s already in twelve-month clothes.” Emma pressed a kiss to Hudson’s forehead. “You are such a big boy.” He latched on to a lock of her hair. “Ouch.” She froze and tried untangling, but Hudson had homed in quick.
Gage rescued her, unraveling her hair from Hudson’s fingers. Emma smelled edible. Was it her shampoo that had the vanilla scent? Or her skin?
At least Gage had plenty of time to analyze his questions while Emma shopped.
She switched to a different pair of pants while Hudson threw his teething ring to the ground. Gage picked it up. Wiped it against his plaid button-up shirt. Good enough. The five-second rule counted, right?
When he gave it back to Hudson, the boy just tossed it again. Hudson’s code for all done. Gage unbuckled the strap holding him hostage. I feel you, buddy. The kid had already been distracted by various toys and fed numerous snacks. Cart time had officially come to an end.
Hudson’s weight settled against Gage’s arm along with a foreign sense of peace. Gage hadn’t expected to bond so quickly with the baby. But Emma had been right that love covered a multitude of inadequacies.
It was amazing to think about how much Hudson had changed since his arrival. And crushing to think about how much Zeke had missed. His friend’s absence was palpable. Constant and sharp. An image of Zeke ignited. Shaved head, easy grin. Confident. Gage would give just about anything to talk to him and ask for advice on how to best provide for Hudson. Ask if Gage was right to find another two-parent, unjaded family for the boy.
Hudson complained at the lack of movement or entertainment, so Gage began flying him through the various clothing racks. Fussing turned to approval and laughter. Hudson had the best laugh. But then, so did Emma. And the pair of them were turning into his favorite place to be. What was he supposed to do about that?
“Okay, baby, I hear you.” Emma ran a hand over Hudson’s hair as they zoomed by. Her next comment was for Gage. “I think I’m losing him.”
You think?
If she wasn’t so adorable, she’d have lost Gage an hour ago. If only there was some sort of reward system for shopping that might make things more...interesting. Like, if he knew the evening would end with a repeat of that kiss from the other day... Well, then he might just be willing to fit in another five stores.
His lips twitched at the thought.
He paused next to Emma during a flyby. “If you wrap this up in the next few minutes—” like Hudson and I are hoping “—I’ll take you to dinner. Anywhere you want.” He sent Emma his most pleading look, and Hudson, the little ham, duplicated his facial expression.
Emma’s eyes softened with unsung amusement. “Stop it, you two.”
“A steak dinner?” Even though Gage had plenty of steaks in his freezer at home, he’d gladly pay if it would convert Emma’s browsing into purchases.
Emma’s nose wrinkled, her mouth wobbling as she battled a smile. “Bribery only works on children.”
Not true. “Some kind of fancy pasta?” A faint amount of interest was piqued. “Indian food?” No give. “Mexican?” What was he not thinking of?
“I’m really more of a burger, fries and a milkshake, girl, Counselor. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”
Leave it to Emma to want something simple. Not expensive.
“I know the perfect place. Local beef, hand-cut fresh potato fries.” Intrigue flashed. He had her now. “And they make malts that are to die for.” He added a dramatic flair to his closing statements.
Hangers zipped along the metal rack as Emma flipped through clothing items. “Fine.” A begrudging curve split her cheeks. “I’ll make some choices.”
Gage whooped and tossed Hudson into the air. He caught him and then spun in a circle, creating a miniparade around the clothing section. Hudson approved of Gage’s antics, and based on the way Emma’s mouth curved, she did too.
Hudson’s professional shopper settled on a pack of onesies—Gage’s original idea, thank you very much—plus four pairs of pants, socks, two pajamas, three additional shirts, one with collar, two without. Gage was smart enough not to comment about how fast Emma had picked things out once a bribe was in place. Ahem.
The three of them headed for the checkout. Gage paid and grabbed the bags while Emma parked the cart and bundled Hudson into his coat and fox-eared hat. They were almost to the exit when Gage heard his name.
He turned. Jonas—a guy whose wife had been friends with Nicole since junior high—headed their way. Gage fought the urge to duck and run. He’d prefer no interaction with anything Nicole had tainted—especially with Emma and Hudson in tow—but he had nothing against Jonas.
They shook hands, exchanged greetings. “It’s good to see you, Gage. What’s it been? Two-and-a-half years?”
“Sounds about right.” And what did Gage have to show for it? Bitterness. Guilt. A determination not to move into the future. To stay...frozen. The thought made his stomach lurch. He hadn’t realized what he was doing with holding back from the idea of keeping Hudson—and Emma—in his life. From shoving past his Nicole issues into a future he could look forward to, not just a barren, lonely one.
“This is Hudson and Emma.” His...ward? Friend? Neither of those labels did the two of them any justice, so Gage let the words die on his tongue.
Jonas nodded at Emma, amusement surfacing when Hudson babbled in greeting and then shoved fingers into his mouth, creating a ppfftt sound.
“Cute kid. So you’re really a cowboy, huh, Frasier?”
Gage laughed. “I don’t know if I’ve earned that title quite yet. My uncle’s foreman stayed on after he passed, and he taught me what I know. But I do enjoy ranching.” That truth surprised him, quickly morphing into certainty. It wasn’t just an escape like it had started out being. It was a choice he’d make all over again.
They caught up for a few minutes, and then Jonas glanced at his watch. “I’ve got to run, but it was nice bumping into you. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well.” A warm grin included Emma and Hudson. “And that you have a great family. I always thought you deserved that.”
A great family. Jonas took off before Gage could correct him. But what was he going to say anyway? They’re not mine? Not for keeps? And...what if he wanted them to be?
Ever since Gage and Emma had locked lips, his rational side had been kicked to the curb. What if he’d been wrong all this time and God had something new and scary and amazingly good all rolled together in store for him? Could Gage even allow himself to think like that? He’d believed that he didn’t deserve another chance when he and Nicole had botched things up so badly the first time.
But he was starting to want one.
“Ready?” Emma’s head quirked to one side, and she studied him with a faint smile. Curious. Patient.
&
nbsp; “Yep.” His fingers itched to hold her hand, but once they broke out into the cold weather, Emma gave a little yelp and took off jogging.
“I need summer back.” Her voice shot over her shoulder.
Gage laughed and ran to catch up with them, digging the key fob from his pocket to unlock the doors. He opened the back and stowed the items while Emma secured Hudson into his car seat.
They made a good team.
Emma climbed into the passenger seat. “Brr!”
Gage shut the back and headed for the driver’s door. He opened it to the sound of Emma’s bright laughter echoing through the vehicle. “Hudson just tried to imitate my brr. It was so funny.” She twisted, directing her voice to the back row. “You are the cutest boy in the whole universe, Sir Hudson. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.”
The boy’s car seat faced backward, but he made a silly noise and lifted his arms as if receiving accolades.
Gage’s heart slowed. Turned mushy. If he could pause or press the slow-motion button to hoard time, he would. Somehow Emma had no idea that she was the most charming woman in the whole world. And Gage wanted to tell her. To lean over the console and kiss her and not apologize for it afterward.
He wanted things that he hadn’t allowed himself to dream about in years, and he didn’t know what to do about that. But he was definitely going to mull and pray over these new developments.
What if he’d been wrong about marriage and relationships? Even keeping Hudson? Could he change from the man who’d been married to Nicole—who’d made mistakes and failed miserably—into someone else? And if he did attempt that kind of overhaul, would he be enough?
Because he certainly hadn’t been the last time.
Chapter Thirteen
Emma couldn’t put her finger on exactly what was different with Gage. But something had shifted last night. Somewhere between shopping, dinner and the drive home—during which she and Hudson had both fallen asleep.
This morning when she’d arrived to watch Hudson for a few hours, Gage had lingered. He’d had an extra cup of coffee. Sat with her at the table while she’d fed Hudson oatmeal. Almost as if he hadn’t wanted to leave her presence.
Numerous times Emma had gotten the distinct impression that Gage wanted to tell her something. His mouth would open, then snap shut. His head would shake. But he didn’t fill her in. Didn’t open up.
Yes, Emma was quite certain something was different.
If only she knew what.
“Whoa.” Gage caught Hudson as he cruised along the couch and sniffed his diapered bum. “There is no question about what’s in here.” He switched to holding him. “That is impressively disgusting, and I deal with cattle on a daily basis.”
Emma laughed as she rounded up toys, tossing them into the bin.
“I’m going to change him and lay him down for his nap, and you should head out.”
Gage had come in from working at noon since she had to head home to help with the group at Wilder Ranch.
He gave an exasperated sigh when she kept tidying and then crossed over to her, taking a toy from her hand and tossing it into the bin. “I can handle cleanup duty. Enough.”
What’s going on with you, Counselor? What are you not telling me?
“I don’t have to leave quite yet.” A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.
“Oh.” That toe-tingling grin of his slid into play. “Good. Then I’ll be right back.”
She watched his retreating back, mouth curving at the way he talked to Hudson. Like they were old acquaintances. Like being named as Hudson’s guardian hadn’t held him under water for a good long while.
Emma paused from her task of rounding up Hudson’s blocks when a knock sounded at the door.
“Em, can you get that?” Gage’s voice boomed from down the hall, and her lips formed a happy little curve at the shortened version of her name. Other people called her the same, but when Gage did, it was somehow...better.
“Sure.” Hurrying over to open the door, she was about to explain why it was her answering instead of Gage when the identities of the two people on Gage’s front step registered.
Nicole. And James.
That moment in elementary school when Emma’s teacher had asked if she was going to be sick and she’d answered no just before her breakfast had covered her teacher’s shoes was happening all over again.
What were the two of them doing here? And if she slammed the door in their faces, would they go away?
Nicole was dressed in slimming jeans and leather knee-high boots. Her raven hair fell in loose waves around her striking face. Just her appearance took a spoon to Emma’s gut.
She’d forgotten what a bombshell the woman was. Nicole was a perfect, curvy-in-only-the-right-places size two.
And Emma was a medium.
James had aged. He seemed harder around the edges. And the scruffiness that had once appealed now...didn’t.
Why had Emma ever dated him? Why hadn’t she seen his true colors right away? Emma had never told Gage about having dated James because there hadn’t been a reason to. It wasn’t like he’d asked her out. Or kissed her again. Or held her hand on the way home last night. Granted, she’d been sleeping, but still. There’d been no blatant sign from him that he was interested in pursuing a relationship with her, and therefore no reason to share her embarrassing past with him.
Plus, Emma hadn’t wanted to ruin all of the changes in Gage since Hudson’s arrival by bringing up something that would derail him.
Yet now her past had arrived on the front step.
“That might be his best worst diaper yet.” Gage’s humorous comment as he came down the hall sans Hudson would normally have made her laugh, but any amusement had fled Emma’s body when she’d opened the door and recognized his visitors. She wanted to warn him, but what should she say? Run? Take cover?
Before she could scrounge up a solution, Gage was next to her. The air in his lungs spilled out as if he’d fielded a sledgehammer blow. Emma wanted nothing more than to turn into him and wrap her arms around his middle. Shield him, somehow.
If James mentioned anything about dating Emma—though she didn’t know why he would—Gage would find out in the worst possible manner. He’d consider it a betrayal that she hadn’t told him. Even though it was within her rights not to. He wouldn’t understand. Not when he’d been so blinded by Nicole. When he’d endured so much misery by disloyalty.
“I should let you...” She glanced at Gage. He’d schooled his features. Shut down. “I’m just going to go.” Emma’s purse was in the front closet only a few steps away. Escape was within her reach. She could practically feel the warmth of her jacket. The freedom of her car taking her far, far away from this turmoil.
“No.” Gage held her wrist gently as she stepped toward the closet, his thumb finding her pulse. “Please stay. These two are the ones who need to leave.”
His appeal was quiet, tender. How could Emma refuse?
Of course James and Nicole didn’t move.
Gage had paused Emma’s getaway, leaving her right smack-dab in the middle of all of the tension. She scooted next to him, her shoulder touching his arm. Emma found his hand and squeezed. She’d only planned on the short burst of encouragement, but Gage held on like she was his lifeline.
“What do you want, Nicole?” He sounded worn. Frayed. Gage didn’t even acknowledge James.
“Can’t we come in? It’s freezing out here.” Nicole’s whine turned to puffs of white as it escaped, and she rubbed the sleeves of her North Face jacket, mouth forming a pout.
Ick. The woman could teach classes—Manipulation 101.
No doubt Gage was treading in the same what was I thinking waters as Emma had moments before.
“Fine.” The word snapped with irritation. Gage stepped back from the open door, keeping Emma with him and leavin
g only enough space for Nicole and James to move a few feet inside. His stance blocked their entry into the living room, as if intent on barricading them from worming too far into his world. Emma understood the sentiment. She still wouldn’t mind a quick escape from The Most Uncomfortable Situation Ever.
Hello, Gage’s ex-wife. Pretty sure I’m in love with the man you treated like trash. Does he love me back? No. No, he does not. But these next few minutes should be loads of fun. So glad I’m here for the festivities.
James shut the door as Nicole zeroed in on their joined hands. “Rumor on the street is that you got that precious little family you always wanted.”
“Where’d you hear that?”
“April.” Narrowed eyes accompanied Nicole’s response.
Who? Emma glanced to Gage. “Jonas’s wife.” Gage answered her silent question, but his wary eyes never left Nicole and, subsequently, James, who so far had stayed quiet. Why was he here? It wasn’t as if Nicole needed protection to talk to Gage.
But then, that sounded like exactly the kind of story this woman would weave. No doubt James had come along as a bodyguard. Unless the idea of showing up here was his...
Emma’s stomach twisted like a washing machine on spin cycle. She knew firsthand how calculating James could be.
Jonas had called them a family last night, and Gage hadn’t corrected him. He’d left too quickly for either of them to contradict him. At the time, Emma had thought it wouldn’t matter if he’d mistakenly believed they were together. But she could see now that it did.
But why did the woman care? She and Gage were long over. What was this all about?
“Jonas said the baby was probably around a year old,” Nicole continued. “Maybe even older.” Close but not quite. “Just how fast did you move on after I left? Or was it before? I’m starting to wonder if you were the one who stepped out on me, and our divorce settlement needs another look.”