Keeping the Pieces

by Brenda Lowder

  It was just weird seeing him with Honey, she told herself. But it shouldn’t be. Because that was the whole plan.

  Yay, team.

  Cam’s sobs reached her ears before she opened the door to the room they were now sharing. She closed the door behind her, sure to make extra noise. The crying stopped.

  Cam sat up from the bed and wiped his eyes. “Are they gone?”

  “No, but they’re doing the rafting trip without us.”

  “Thanks for handling that.”

  “Um, sure.” She stood by the door, wondering how she and Cam should spend the time together while they were alone. Too soon for sexy time? Probably. His tears weren’t even dry.

  “Let me know when they’re gone.” He lay back down and flung the comforter over himself. Only the top of his disheveled hair was visible.

  “Okay.” Emma put her hand on the doorknob, but then turned back to the room. “If you’re going to rest,” or wallow, she didn’t say, “I think I’m going to go swimming.”

  “Have fun,” Cam’s muffled voice said from under a pillow.

  Ten minutes later, Emma felt a lot better. She’d managed to miss Derek and Honey’s departure since she’d been changing into her swimsuit at the time, and now she was luxuriating in the most beautiful pool she’d ever seen.

  Large natural rocks formed the elevation in one corner down which the cascading water fell. Flatter rocks outlined the pool, making the whole effect one of integration into its natural setting. A dense copse of trees graced the scenery behind her, and, to the side of the house, she could just make out where the mountains petered into foothills. Lovely.

  Emma filled her lungs with the cool mountain air, spiced with the scent of pine. The silky warm water folded over her with every lazy stroke she made as she swam from one end of the pool to the other. She wished Cam were out here with her, helping her generate their own heat.

  She shook her head. It was okay. She understood. He needed time.

  She stayed in the pool until her skin was pruny. When she got out, her stomach rumbled. Time for a snack. She decided to check on Cam first.

  When she returned to their room, Cam was asleep. She couldn’t see him under the mound of pillows and comforter he’d buried himself under, but she could hear his snoring. She rinsed off in the shower, changed without waking him, and headed for the kitchen.

  Before she’d gone two steps down the hallway, she heard an insistent ringing coming from Honey and Derek’s room. She paused, listening. The ringing stopped. She moved away from the door, but the second she turned, the ringing started up again.

  Whose phone was it? Was it a house phone? Was there an emergency?

  Emma tried the door, found it unlocked, and opened it. She averted her eyes from the unmade bed, not wanting to think about what had gone on there, and picked up the ringing phone from the dresser.

  Was it Derek’s or Honey’s? It was plain and black and very ordinary looking. She made a guess and answered it.

  “Derek’s phone,” she said.

  There was a pause on the other end. Then, “Well, hello there.” A smooth, sexy male voice caressed her ear.

  “This doesn’t sound like an emergency.” Emma looked for the “end call” button.

  “Wait! Wait!” the phone voice said.

  Emma put the phone back up to her ear. “What?”

  “Are you the fake girlfriend or the goddess?”

  Emma’s stomach dropped. “He told you about that?” She would never have believed that brooding Derek would blab about their plan. Emma glanced at Cam’s closed door and started down the hall.

  A chuckle on the phone. “Only under duress. I was there when he was packing for the weekend. I’m Derek’s brother, Cole.”

  Emma wandered toward the living room, phone pressed against her ear. “Ah, the divorce lawyer.”

  He laughed. “And so much more. What else did he tell you about me?”

  “Nothing,” she said.

  “Not surprising. He likes the attention to be on him. Pretends the rest of us don’t exist.”

  Emma tried to picture Derek’s brothers. Were they all as attractive as he was? If so, his family was a national treasure.

  “Thanks for picking up. There’s actually an important reason for my call. Is he around?”

  “No, sorry. He’s out on the river with the goddess.” She rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see her.

  Cole laughed with delight. “Ahh. Congratulations on the plan working.”

  She sank down onto the couch. “Thanks.”

  “How’s your Romeo?”

  “He’s…sleeping.” She put her feet up and leaned her head against the armrest.

  He must have sensed the disappointment in her voice, because he said, “Oh. Sorry.”

  “It’s not a problem.” She sat up. She didn’t want to talk about her Romeo. “So, hey, I’ll have Derek call you as soon as they get in.”

  “Tell him we’ve got trouble.”

  “Trouble?”

  “Tell him Macey lost the baby.”

  ∞∞∞

  Derek was thinking about the paper due for his Human Physiology II class when the raft flipped over.

  Honey had taken charge of the expedition as soon as they pushed off. Pursuing the whitest water, she steered them into a rocky situation. Having rafted since she was a kid, Honey was a confident river guide. Too confident.

  “Honey!” He bobbed in the water and wiped his eyes. He didn’t see her. He grabbed onto the overturned raft with one arm and swam toward shore with the other.

  Honey’s wet blond head appeared a few feet away. “Derek!”

  “Are you okay?”

  “No!” she shouted.

  He was close enough to the left bank now that he could stand. He shoved the raft toward dry land then turned and held his hand out for her.

  She tried to stand in the shallow water and screamed.

  “What is it?” Derek’s legs pumped fast, splashing water, to get to her side.

  “I think I broke my leg.”

  ∞∞∞

  What’s taking them so long?

  Emma ate a snack and watched the movie Clueless on the living room TV, all the time worrying about Macey and the lost baby and what it would mean to Derek. Cole hadn’t given her any details, and she didn’t feel she had the right to ask.

  The rafting trip itself was only supposed to take an hour. Even with driving there and back, it should only take an hour and forty minutes, tops. It had now been over four hours since they’d left.

  Emma was just about to go wake up Cam and physically drag him from bed when he stumbled into the living room.

  “They’re not back yet?”

  “No.”

  He approached her and pulled her in for a hug. She got a strong whiff of alcohol. Cam had been into the liquor while she was out.

  “Emma, I’m sorry,” he said into her hair, his head resting down on hers.

  She leaned into the hug. “For what? Getting drunk?”

  He leaned back and looked at her. He slid his hands down until he was holding her hands in each of his. He focused on where they connected then locked eyes with her.

  “No. I’m not that drunk. I’m sorry for not knowing what I had before now.”

  Emma shook her head. “It’s okay, Cam, you’ve already explained.”

  “No. No. Let me say this.” He swallowed. “I haven’t appreciated you the way that I should have. I ignored my feelings for you for a long time. But seeing you with that guy…Derek…made me realize I had to tell you.”

  Sure. After Honey dumped him and he was alone. Would he try to get Honey back once he was safely attached to Emma? She pushed away the depressing thought.

  He continued. “You and Derek, huh?”

  Emma gazed up at him, waiting for his question.

  He cocked an eyebrow at her, his handsome face confident, back to his usual self. “Were you really engaged?”

  Her pulse accele
rated. She didn’t feel comfortable enough to be honest with Cam…yet. He was in a precarious emotional state.

  “I thought we were,” she said with a sigh. “But he sure moved on quickly.” She spread her fingers on Cam’s chest and shook her head. “And so will I. Derek can’t compete with my feelings for you.”

  Cam nodded as if that confirmed something for him and said, “That kiss all those weeks ago was the start of something between us. Something great.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I just took the wrong detour. I’d like it if we could pick things up from our kiss.”

  If an entire engagement could be called a “detour.” Still. He was defining their relationship. And admitting they had one. Even if he was a little drunk, at least he wasn’t crying.

  Emma smiled. Yes. This was what she wanted, finally. “I’d like that.”

  He smiled. “Good.”

  He pulled her in tight and kissed her hungrily.

  The front door swung open. They sprang apart.

  Honey stood in the doorway, supporting herself on crutches and wearing a walking cast.

  “Is it broken?” Emma scrambled to sit up and pull herself together.

  “Hairline fracture,” Derek answered from behind Honey. He closed the door and offered Honey his arm for support. She took his arm and thumped, dragged, thumped until she was close enough to the chair to collapse on it. She released her crutches, and they rattled to the floor.

  Cam slumped into the corner of the couch, his head lolling on the armrest.

  Derek took in the room. “Everybody ready to go home?” He narrowed his eyes at Cam and his not-quite-drunk lethargy. “I’m driving.”

  “Yes!” Emma and Cam each hollered at the same time Honey said, “No.”

  The three of them stared at her in disbelief.

  “We haven’t had any fun yet.” She shrugged, an innocent look on her face.

  “There’s not going to be any. Especially if we stay. All agreed?” Derek looked around the room.

  Emma and Cam nodded.

  “Great. Let’s get going.”

  Emma glanced at Cam and then pulled Derek aside. “I picked up your phone while you were out.” She handed it to him. “Because it kept ringing. I thought it might be an emergency. Anyway, it was Cole who said to tell you Macey lost the baby and to come back as soon as you can.”

  She watched for his reaction. All he did was nod.

  “Thanks.” He patted her arm and moved to help Honey from the couch.

  Anxious to leave, Emma dashed to her room to pack. Cam ran to the room he’d shared with Honey, where his suitcase still cohabitated with hers. He stopped and smiled at her before opening the door. That grin she loved spread across his face, just for her.

  “This is the start, Emma,” he said. “You and me.”

  She smiled.

  Yes, it was.

  ∞∞∞

  Awkward silence reigned on the two-hour drive back to Atlanta. The grand Relationship Exchange had been enacted, and no one, verbally at least, was back to normal. Derek drove since no one, including Cam himself, could tell how much alcohol Cam had consumed.

  Emma reached across the backseat and put her hand into Cam’s. He squeezed it and smiled absently at her. After a moment he returned to staring out the window, but he kept hold of her hand.

  When they got back to the city, they stopped at Emma’s house first. Cam got out of the Jeep and retrieved her suitcase from the back while Derek moved everyone else’s luggage to his car, emptying the vehicle for Cam to return for when he was sober. Cam hugged her and kissed her cheek.

  “I’ll call you later,” he said as he got back into the car. He slammed the door and the vehicle sped off before Emma was even fully on the sidewalk.

  Cam hadn’t walked her to the door. Or offered to see her inside. Or to stay.

  She heaved her suitcase over the curb and tried not to think about the lack of forward action now she’d achieved her goals. Things were bound to stall at some point, weren’t they? What was important would be the regrouping, the realigning, the projected returns on upcoming Cam interactions. Interactions which could be less engineered now that she and Cam were a couple. He’d said things were just beginning with them. So there was something there to start. A fire to light. She’d call him soon and strike the match to kindle the flames between them.

  Satisfied with her pep talk to herself, Emma wheeled her suitcase up the cement path to her front porch. But when she got there, what she saw made her lose her grip on the suitcase. It tipped sideways and fell heavily on her foot.

  But she didn’t yell. Or jump. Or cry.

  Because her eyes were stuck on the thing sitting on her top step, blocking her way to the door. The thing that tangled knots of fear into her every time she had to confront it. The thing that haunted her nightmares and called into question everything Emma felt or thought about herself.

  Her mother.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  So what’s your address?” Derek was holding his phone’s GPS, waiting. They’d just dropped Cam off, and Derek was anxious to go home, dump his stuff, and go help Cole with Ryder. He hadn’t returned Cole’s call yet, wanting to get back to the city first where he’d be in a position to actually do something.

  “Oh, just take me to your place.” Honey pulled the blanket she’d asked Derek to get her closer around her shoulders.

  Derek raised his eyebrows. “I have a lot to do when I get home.”

  “I don’t mind.” She snuggled deeper into the blanket and leaned her head back.

  Derek drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Why was he annoyed? True, it had been a long time since he’d been in a relationship. But it hadn’t been twenty-four hours yet and already he was starting to feel closed in.

  He waited, but when she didn’t say anything else, he finally shrugged and drove them home.

  When they got to his place, Derek helped Honey up the stairs and into his apartment, making sure she was comfortable on the couch before going back down and unloading the car.

  After he’d carried the bags inside, he set Honey up with the TV remote and a glass of water.

  “I’ve got to call my brother,” he told her. She waved in answer, and turned her attention to the television. He went to the bedroom and closed the door.

  In a short conversation during which Cole managed to inquire about Emma’s degree of hotness three times, Derek got caught up on the news. Macey had lost the baby last night—ongoing drug use was the suspected cause. Ryder was devastated. He’d been invested in the idea of being a father. Cole said Ryder wanted to comfort Macey and take care of her, but she checked herself out of the hospital when he went for coffee, and she’d split. He didn’t know where she was. A real class act, she’d broken up with Ryder via text a few hours later, also happening to mention what they’d all suspected—the baby wasn’t his anyway.

  “He’s a wreck, Derek. You’ve got to come over. Alex and I are here with him now, but you know Alex. He’s no help.”

  Yes, Derek knew Alex. He was probably trying to comfort Ryder with statistics on infant mortality, the worst possible thing he could be doing right now. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m dealing with an invalid myself right now.”

  “An invalid? What, did you maim Emma’s Romeo?”

  Derek snorted. “No. I wish. No, unfortunately the goddess fractured her leg on the rafting trip.”

  “Yikes. Okay, well, get here soon.”

  “I will.” Derek ended the call.

  He went back out to the living room. “I’ve got to head over to my brother Cole’s place.” Anxious to go, he didn’t feel like explaining about Ryder and Macey and the baby right now. “Do you want me to take you home on the way?”

  Honey smiled at him from her spot on the couch. “No, that’s okay. I’ll wait here.”

  Derek stared at her. Why wasn’t he happier about her staying? “Um, okay.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked around the r
oom. “All right. I guess. Okay.” He didn’t feel okay. He felt like her refusal to leave was faintly hostile, but he moved toward the door.

  “How long will you be gone?” Honey’s voice pulled him back.

  He paused mid-step. “Uh, not sure. Couple hours.”

  She frowned. “But I just got here.”

  Derek blinked. And?

  She knelt on the cushion with more dexterity than Derek would’ve imagined given her cast and reached her hands out to him over the back of the couch.

  Frustrated at the sudden roadblock to his walking out the door, he plodded reluctantly to the sofa. When he got there, Honey clung to him.

  “Okay, you can go," she said after a minute, “IF you stop by La Montaña on the way back and bring me an order of their steak fajitas. Make sure to get sour cream, salsa, and extra avocado on the side. Oh, and ask them for extra fresh-chopped cilantro. Watch them chop it so you know it’s fresh. They’ll do it for me.”

  La Montaña was fifteen miles in the opposite direction from Cole’s apartment.

  Derek took a deep breath and stepped away, out of her grasp. “Anything else?”

  She put a hand on her chin, thinking. “A sweet tea. Oh, and an order of churros. And whatever you want for yourself.”

  “Okay, thanks,” he said wryly.

  Honey smiled then puckered her lips for a kiss. He obliged.

  “All right, you can go, but don’t be long!” She turned back around and sat down to watch the television.

  He raced for the door, anxious not to have anything else added to her to-go order. After closing and locking the door behind him, he stood on the concrete and shook his head, not believing the thing he’d needed to get before leaving his own apartment.

  Permission.

  ∞∞∞

  “Mom.” Emma could hear the denial in her voice and wondered if her mother could hear it too. The refusal to believe she was really there, sitting on Emma’s front porch on top of a suitcase, wearing an annoyed expression that could only mean she was mentally criticizing Emma even if she was audibly refraining from doing so for the moment.