Keeping the Pieces

by Brenda Lowder

  “Any in the bathroom?”

  “No!”

  He expelled a big breath. “Any in the bedroom?”

  “No.” Emma bit her fingernail. “I didn’t want to put them anywhere too intrusive.”

  “Huh.” His brows drew together, and he rubbed his chin. “What did you see?”

  Would he find it comforting to know she’d only watched him twice? Or insulting that she’d lost interest in watching more?

  “Not much. Nothing you’d need to be embarrassed about.”

  He gave a quick nod. “Did you ever put cameras in Derek’s place?”

  She blinked at him, nonplussed. “No.”

  Cam nodded again. “Good. I never thought you loved him as much as you’ve always loved me.”

  “You…you knew? That I always loved you?”

  He smiled, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Of course I knew, Emma. You’ve always made me feel good about myself. You’ve pumped me up. You’ve supported me, and I’ve always been glad to have you in my corner.”

  In his corner, or on the back burner? Emma didn’t say.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s why I got so jealous when you and Derek got together. I was used to you wanting me. That and it pissed me off that Honey thought he was hot.” Cam shook his head before going on. “But this, Em? Cameras in my apartment? That’s going too far.”

  Yes, much too far. Too far to go for someone who’d known about her crush for years and was amused by it, flattered by it, but not moved by her enough to have an honest conversation. Just giving her enough attention to keep her on the line.

  Oh, no. Her mother was right. Cam really was bread-crumbing her.

  “You’re right, Cam. I went too far. I’m not going any farther. I’m done. We’re done. Get out.”

  His mouth dropped open in surprise. Was he upset that she’d said it before he could? Or that she was the one saying it at all? What did he think would happen? That despite everything, she’d go on worshipping him forever? There was no way she’d settle for that kind of imbalance—the kind her father had with her mother. The kind that wrecked their marriage.

  Not to mention that Cam wasn’t the man who occupied her thoughts anymore. He hadn’t been for a long time.

  “Come on, now.” Emma pulled on his arm when he didn’t move. “Get out. Now.”

  Cam shook his head and stood. “Emma, I didn’t mean—”

  “But I did,” she interrupted him. “I mean it. I don’t want to see you anymore, and I’d like you to leave.”

  Cam stalked to the door, throwing a last look at her over his shoulder. She didn’t budge. He let himself out, closing the door behind him. She went over and locked it, thinking about how she’d still have to see Cam at work. And it was guaranteed to be awkward.

  She went back into the living room, picked up the remote, and turned the television off. She watched Cam’s apartment disappear, and wished she could make the man himself disappear as effectively.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Derek, you have a new client.” Leticia stopped him at the front desk when he got to work early Friday morning.

  “Oh?”

  “I put him on your schedule for nine thirty. You had an opening.”

  Derek opened the calendar on his phone. “What’s the name?”

  “I don’t remember.” She consulted her computer monitor. “Oh, sorry. It’s not here. I must have forgotten to put it in. He just needs the free introductory session, though.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  He stowed his stuff in his locker and trained his first three clients of the day, forgetting about his new nine thirty appointment until Cameron Rushton showed up then and punched him in the face for the second time in his life.

  His nose spurted blood, and he covered it with both hands. “You made an appointment to punch me?”

  “Hell, yeah!”

  “Great seeing you, then,” Derek said past his palms. Cam remained in fighting stance, regarding Derek with disdain.

  Another trainer and two of Derek’s client friends, who’d been lifting weights nearby, immediately flanked him.

  “Need help, Derek?” Rick asked, sizing up Cam with fists clenched.

  Derek looked at Cam over his hands. “No, I’m all right. We’re just going to talk.”

  “He doesn’t look like he wants to talk,” Winston said out of the side of his mouth.

  “I’m getting you some ice.” The trainer by his side, Luke, strode off past Cam and leveled a threatening stare at him as he went.

  Rick wrestled paper towels from a nearby dispenser, and Derek cleaned up his nose as well as he could. He told his friends he’d be okay. Everyone in the vicinity was staring at him, and he wanted them to return to their workouts. Rick and Winston went back to their weights, continuing to cast glowering looks at Cam.

  “Do you want to go outside and talk?” Derek asked. Cam seemed to have already spent his anger on Derek’s face. He stood looking more shocked that he’d really punched him than prone to further violence.

  Cam nodded.

  They headed for the exit, Luke intersecting them and handing Derek an ice pack and more paper towels on the way. When Derek and Cam got outside, Derek sat on the curb and held the ice pack to his nose.

  “You wanted to see me, Cam?”

  Cam hesitated a moment before sitting down on the curb a few feet from Derek. “No, I wanted to punch you.”

  “Well, that’s obvious. You made an appointment and everything.” Derek wiped his nose with another paper towel. It had just about stopped bleeding. “Do you feel better now?”

  Cam squinted at him, the sun shining in his eyes, and shrugged. “A little.”

  “Why did you want to punch me?”

  “Because you broke up Honey and me, and then you broke up Emma and me.”

  “What?” Excitement pooled in Derek’s gut. Emma was free of Cam? And if Cam was upset enough to punch him over it, it must have been her choice. “You and Emma broke up?”

  “Yeah. She admitted she put spy cameras in my place, and I told her I wouldn’t stand for that. Then she said we were done. I didn’t mean we were done. I’d have given her another chance, but it was clear she didn’t want one. Never mind. It’s none of your business.” Cam glared at him for a minute before continuing. “But don’t go dumping Honey just to get Emma back. We’ve all been through enough.”

  Derek leaned his head back. “Uh, Honey already dumped me.”

  Cam nodded. “Makes sense. Figured she might. She was pretty sick of you.”

  “Right. Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Cam’s smirk was gleeful. He stretched his legs out and looked at his shoes. “So, uh, where is she now?”

  “Rome.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “No. She’s off to join Francesco.”

  “Damn Francesco. I hate that guy.”

  Derek moved his ice pack and nodded. He could imagine.

  Cam sighed. “Okay. I’m sorry I hit you. This mess isn’t all your fault.”

  Derek put his ice pack down so he could look Cam in the eye. “It is, really. Emma and I were trying to break you and Honey up.”

  Cam laughed. “Old news, buddy. Emma’s been trying to break us up for years. It’s just that this time it worked.” He got up and clapped Derek on the back harder than necessary. “Don’t worry about it. All’s fair, and all that. See you around.” He stepped off the curb.

  “Cam?”

  Cam turned around and inclined his head, waiting.

  “I hope I never see you around.”

  Cam smiled and nodded. When he reached his car, he waved at Derek before getting in and driving away.

  Derek got up and headed back inside. He’d have to see about fixing his nose. And his life.

  ∞∞∞

  Emma stopped by her father’s house to pick up his mail and check on the place as she’d been doing since he and Baxter had taken off for Mexico. When she pulled her car int
o the driveway, she could have sworn she saw the living room curtain twitch. She shook her head and walked to the mailbox. As her shoes crunched on the gravel walkway, she felt invisible eyes bearing down on her back. She snapped her head around, but she didn’t see anything.

  When she got to the mailbox, she opened it carefully so the mail wouldn’t spill out only to find that the box was completely empty. She looked up and this time she was sure she saw the curtain in the front living room window flutter back down into place. She slammed the mailbox shut and marched to the front door, her high heels stabbing, sliding, and crunching along the way.

  She pounded on the door with both fists. “Open up! I know you’re in there!”

  The door creaked open and her father stood there, hand on the knob, a frown pulling his face down.

  “What are you doing here?” Emma exploded at him.

  “I live here.” Baxter came to the door yipping at his heels, and her father bent down to lavish him with affection.

  Emma pushed past them into the house, leaving her father to close the door. The second he did, she rounded on him with her arms crossed in front of her. “How long have you been home?”

  Her father hung his head. “A few days.”

  “And you were just pretending not to be?”

  “Yes.”

  “For heaven’s sake, why?”

  Her father heaved a sigh and walked past her to sit on the sofa. “Because I’m done, Emma.” Baxter jumped onto the couch beside him and curled into his lap. Her father petted him absentmindedly.

  “Done what?” she demanded.

  “Done with your mother.” His hand stilled, and he raised his eyes to hers. He wasn’t hiding anymore, and Emma could see the truth—and resignation—in his gaze. The bottom dropped out of her stomach. So her parents were just…done?

  She sank into the recliner, not trusting her wobbly knees to keep her standing. She wanted to curl up into a ball on the bed in her old bedroom and fall asleep. Then wake up to find this was all a bad dream.

  Her father must have sensed what she was feeling. He sighed. “I’m sorry, sweetpea.” He went back to stroking Baxter’s coat. “I know this is a lot to handle. Even at your advanced age.” He smiled sadly. “But your mother left me and I…I realized I’m better off this way.”

  But he couldn’t be. Inside, Emma raged. Besides the fact that having her mother as a permanent roommate was somewhere in the vicinity of her own personal hell, Emma couldn’t picture either of her parents without the other. She knew her mother was wrong. Completely wrong. But wasn’t she forgivable?

  All Emma knew is that she wanted to be done too. Her parents’ problems were no longer going to be her problems, she decided. They were old enough to figure things out for themselves. And she was grown up enough to survive the consequences of their decisions, whatever they turned out to be.

  She stood on shaky knees. “Well, Dad, welcome back.” She kissed his cheek and headed for the door.

  “I love you, sweetie,” her dad called as she let herself out.

  She paused with her hand on the knob. “I love you too.”

  But sometimes love wasn’t enough.

  Chapter Forty

  It was Saturday morning and Emma was home. She was not going to invent a reason to go into the office. For one thing, she didn’t want to see Cam in case he were to wander in, and for another, with all the late hours she was putting in, she was running out of work to do and people had started making snide comments about her bucking for a promotion.

  Instead it was time to tell her mother that her father was home, he just didn’t want to see her.

  But she wasn’t sure how one went about doing that.

  She found her mother in the kitchen pouring orange juice. Emma hovered in the doorway. “Hey, Mom, what would you say to going for a mani/pedi with me today?”

  Jennifer’s face lit up. “Really?”

  Emma smiled. “Yes.”

  “You’ve never wanted to do anything like that with me before.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  “It’s a yes. Let me just get my purse.”

  Emma didn’t usually indulge in manicures and pedicures so she googled the highest rated spa in the area and drove her mom there. Since she hadn’t made an appointment, they had to wait fifteen minutes for a technician to be free. Emma played on her phone while they awaited their services.

  “So what happened with Cam?” her mother asked after a minute of silence. “What did he do after he found out about the cameras?

  Emma took a deep breath. “We broke up.”

  Jennifer tilted her head. “You don’t seem as upset as I’d have thought.”

  “I…well, I guess I didn’t really love him.” It felt funny saying it out loud, but it felt true, and it was a freeing thing to say.

  Her mom nodded. “I know.”

  “What do you mean you know?”

  “I know you. Don’t look at me like that. I know you better than you think I do, and I know you never loved him. You just loved the idea of him.” She crossed her legs and gave Emma a knowing look.

  “Maybe.”

  Her mother’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Well, look at you. Almost agreeing with me. That’s a first. It’s also something you wouldn’t have admitted to before.”

  Emma put her phone away and leaned back in her chair. “I don’t love Cam. That’s true. But I feel guilty about it. If I don’t love him, and if we’re not together, then I broke him up with Honey for no reason, and that makes me a bad person.”

  Her mom threw her head back and laughed. “Please. Cam is a grown man who can make his own decisions. Who he’s with and what he does has nothing to do with you.”

  “But Derek and I tried to break them up. Cam was happy before Derek and I made Honey jealous enough to dump him.”

  Jennifer folded her arms. “It wouldn’t have worked if they’d really been happy together.”

  Emma sat with that for a minute. “Were you happy with Dad?”

  Her mom tapped a nervous finger on her arm. “Not always.”

  The honest answer made Emma turn in her seat.

  Her mother glanced at her and went on. “I expected him to love me. I considered it my due. He’d been so in love with me and I felt…worshipped. But that doesn’t last.” She sighed and patted her hair. It didn’t move. “Through the years, I’ve felt more and more invisible. And one day I met Draxton and I wasn’t.” She shrugged.

  Emma raised her eyebrows. “He’s less than half your age.”

  “Yes. And that felt amazing.”

  “But how could you do that to Dad?” Emma could feel the tears building up behind her eyes.

  “Because I’m a selfish, vain, horrible person,” she whispered, moisture springing to her eyes.

  Emma fished a little pack of tissues from her purse and handed it to her.

  “Thank you.” She wiped her eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Your father’s never going to take me back, is he?”

  Emma set her purse down. She didn’t know what to say.

  “Of course he’s not,” her mother answered herself. “That’s why he’s staying in Mexico.” She cried into her tissue.

  After a minute, Emma patted her back. “It’ll be okay, Mom.”

  Her mother grabbed her hand. “Don’t settle, Emma.” She pulled her in for a hug. “Think about what you really want. Don’t do what your father did and make your life all about someone else.”

  Emma pulled away and stared at her mom. “But Dad loves you.”

  Her mother took another tissue and dried her eyes. “Maybe. But it’s high time I started trying to earn that love.”

  Emma looked searchingly at her mother. “I went by Dad’s house last night. He’s back.”

  Jennifer’s head snapped back. “He’s home?”

  Emma nodded. “He and Baxter have been there for the past few days.”

  “But he didn’t call me.”

  “I know. He didn’t cal
l me either.”

  Jennifer put her hand to her chin. Her eyes clouded with unshed tears. She blinked and looked at Emma. The haughtiness seemed to melt away and a look of scared vulnerability took its place. It was a look Emma had never seen on her mother before.

  “I really messed up, didn’t I?” Jennifer’s eyes sought hers. For the first time since this craziness started, Emma’s heart stirred with an ounce of sympathy for her mother. She put her arm around her.

  “Yes, you did. But I think you can fix it.”

  Emma might have been imagining it, but her mom looked grateful, and Emma chose to believe that her opinion mattered to her. She patted her hand and nodded.

  “What do you want, Mom? Do you want Dad back?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then you have to fight for him.” Emma shrugged. “Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

  Jennifer nodded and smiled. “You’re amazing, you know?”

  No, she didn’t know. Her mom had never said such a thing before. “You really think so?”

  “I know so.” Her mother raised an eyebrow. “I made you, didn’t I?”

  Emma laughed and hugged her mother who hugged her back.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Derek’s nose wasn’t broken. That was the good news. The better news was that Emma was free, and Derek couldn’t wait to talk to her. But what if she didn’t want to talk to him? She’d been in love with Cam for years, and her whole plan had gone south in a big way. Maybe she’d blame Derek for his involvement in it. And maybe she’d hold it against him that he’d fallen for Honey when if he’d just had a bit more sense, he’d have known she was all wrong for him.

  When he got home from work, Ryder was there waiting for him.

  “Why aren’t you in school?” Derek asked as he closed the door.

  “It’s Saturday.”

  “Oh, right.” He went to the freezer to get another ice pack.

  “What happened to you?” Ryder followed him the few steps to the kitchen and sat on one of the bar stools.

  “Nothing.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Nothing you need to worry about.”