Jack Frost

by Angela Blake

  Her heart did a little somersault before she could stop it, and she gritted her teeth as she gave him a blank look.

  Jack cleared his throat as he peered down at his clipboard. “What seems to be the problem, Miss—” He paused as he pretended to glance down at her clipboard to read her name. “Miss Tyler?”

  “She punched her date,” Michael offered mildly as he leaned against the wall and stared at Jack as if daring him to contradict him.

  “She—what?” Jack’s voice betrayed him for a second before he remembered the presence of the nurse. “Oh, I see. That’s rather alarming, Miss Tyler. Did he attack you or something?”

  “No, but he made me an offer I had to refuse,” Cara responded as she resolutely refused to make eye contact with him.

  Jack stepped closer as he peered at Cara. “Did he hit you back, Miss Turner? Do you feel any dizziness? Any pain anywhere in your body?”

  “No,” she replied through clenched teeth.

  “Okay, good.” He jotted down something on his clipboard before he nervously tugged on the first button of his shirt. “Let’s take a look at that hand, shall we?”

  Cara hesitated before she held out her hand for Jack to examine. Jack touched it gingerly at first as if afraid she might punch him too, then when she didn’t do anything, he began probing gently to see what the problem was.

  Cara remained stoic the whole time, refusing to show how much agony she really was in.

  Jack frowned as he checked his clipboard. “Miss Tyler, did you say you punched your date?”

  “Yes,” she said as she gazed at him curiously wondering why he was just repeating what they had already established.

  “Miss Tyler, we’re going to have to do an x-ray on your hand. I’m afraid that you might’ve broken a bone, or perhaps caused a hairline fracture. That must’ve been one heck of a jaw you punched.”

  Cara rolled her eyes. “It was not that impressive, and neither was its owner, believe me.”

  A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. “Nevertheless, I need to order the x-ray.”

  He turned around to give the nurse instructions before jotting down something else on the clipboard. He gave the nurse the clipboard, gave them both a professional smile, and walked out of the room.

  Michael turned to face her with a grim smile. “It’s just not your night, is it? Out of all the hospitals, and all the doctors—”

  Cara held up her hand to stop him. “Don’t remind me. I must’ve elicited some really bad voodoo today.”

  Cara sighed as she hopped off the bed and followed the nurse to the x-ray room. Michael gave her a thumb up as he waited outside in the waiting room.

  *****

  Jack held up the image against the fluorescent lights, and he kept making noises under his breath as he turned it this way and that.

  He frowned as he turned around to face them. “I’m afraid it’s a hairline fracture, but you also did some serious damage to your thumb, Miss Tyler.”

  Michael snorted. “Of course, she did.”

  Jack raised an eyebrow. “Is something funny?”

  “Inside joke,” Michael responded, icy venom seeping into his voice, not really appreciating the fact that Jack was addressing him. Michael hated Jack’s guts ever since they had broken up, even though he used to love the guy. It was quite sad, actually, but Cara couldn’t stop the inevitable fall out.

  The sound of Michael’s shrill ringtone rang out in the confines of the sJackl office, and he hastily fished it out of his pocket. He switched off the ringer before he glowered. “Car, I should probably take this.”

  He looked up into her eyes. “You going to be okay in here?” He tossed a quick look at Jack who busied himself with his notes.

  Cara nodded and gave him a half smile. “Yeah, go ahead.”

  Michael stepped out of the room, and quietly shut the door behind him. It was just Cara and Jack left in the room, and the tension in the room was suddenly very real and very palpable.

  Cara cleared her throat first. “So, what do I need to do?”

  Jack’s head shot up, startled that she was addressing him directly without any kind of hostility. He looked around the room for a moment as if to make sure she was actually talking to him. “Oh, right. Well, you’ll have to get a cast for your hand and a splinter for that thumb, so that the finger can heal properly.”

  Cara nodded. “Anything else?”

  Jack quickly glanced down at his notes. “No, for now, I think that’s about it, but you will need to come back in a week for a progress report.”

  Cara hopped off the chair. “Great, any medication I should be taking? Cream I should be applying?”

  Jack began to click his pen as he looked deep in thought. “There’s anti-swelling cream I’ll prescribe, and a mild pain killer in case it’s too much to handle, but I think you won’t need that. I mean, if you hadn’t told me what happened, I would’ve assumed it was something worse, considering the nature of the injury.”

  Cara shrugged. “It was just a punch.”

  Michael shook his head. “Hell of a punch, then.”

  They lapsed into silence as Cara let her eyes float across the room noting the bare walls, the neutral colors. His office certainly wasn’t the same as the old one. The old one had a lot more life and color, but that was because she had insisted that she decorate it for him. After all, she couldn’t let him go to work every day in such a lifeless office. She shook her head at the memory and gazed at his empty desk space.

  “Why did you punch him then?” Michael asked finally as he let his eyes trail up to meet hers.

  Cara stared at him. “I don’t think that’s any of your business. I mean it’s not going to help you with your diagnosis, is it?”

  Michael sighed. “No, it won’t. Cara, please. I’m just asking as someone who is concerned.”

  “You have a very odd way of showing concern,” Cara commented very dryly.

  “You know that I do care, regardless of our past. That still applies.”

  Cara picked up a knick-knack off his desk and then put it back. “Whether it does, or doesn’t isn’t any of my business. Either way, it doesn’t apply to the present.”

  Michael stared at her for a beat. “So, you want to just pretend I’m your doctor, and that we never met before?”

  Cara snapped her fingers. “Bingo! He can be taught.”

  Michael grimaced. “That’s a really passive aggressive attitude to have, don’t you think?”

  Cara’s eyes snapped up to meet his. “Pot calling the kettle black, Jack.” She tossed out his name like it was some kind of curse. “Or did you forget what happened?”

  “Of course, I haven’t forgotten,” he said quietly.

  Cara tossed him a look. “Look, I’m not going to fight you, or smear your reputation or whatever. I just want my x-ray, and my prescription, so I can go home.”

  “I understand that.” Michael stood up and strode towards a cabinet in the back of the room. He took out a few things and walked back to his desk where he placed them.

  “I never meant for things to turn out the way they did, Car. You have to understand that.”

  “Which part? Sharing secrets with your ex-girlfriend behind my back? Or for making me feel like the worst kind of garbage for calling you out on it?”

  Jack agitatedly ran his hands through his hair. “Both, and everything else too. Pushing you away, and lying about things.”

  “I appreciate that Jack, I do, but it doesn’t change what happened. I don’t even know why you did it.”

  Michael stared at her, sadly. “I didn’t do it to hurt you, or because I wanted anything from her. It’s only that we had a long history, and talking to her was easy.”

  Cara gave him a sad smile. “Easier than talking to your own girlfriend apparently.”

  Jack shook his head empathically. “No, Cara. I want you to know, it was never anything you did or said. It was all me. Y
ou’re just so sensitive, and sometimes when you worry, it makes you physically sick, and I didn’t want to add to that.”

  Cara stared him for a second. “So, you thought that keeping me in the dark would be better? Wow, we really do have different approaches when it comes to the way we think.”

  Jack exhaled. “I know we are, and I know that we said we’d never let that become an issue between us, and it shouldn’t have. It was a mistake.”

  Cara looked at a blank spot on the wall. “It was, but you were right about one thing, Jack.”

  She could feel Jack burning holes into the back of her head. “What do you mean?”

  “Remember what you said that day when we couldn’t decide what movie to watch, and when you picked a show, I didn’t want to watch it because we have different tastes in things? You said that even though we were different, we had to try. What we didn’t realize is that trying wasn’t enough. In the end, we were just too different. That’s nobody’s fault. Your actions, and my reactions might have broken the proverbial straw on the camel’s back, but I think it had been brewing for a while. It just snowballed.”

  She could hear the sound of Michael’s heavy breathing. “So, you don’t blame me?”

  Cara turned around to face him. “Oh, no, I do.”

  Cara held up her hand to signal for him to wait till she was finished. “The thing is though, I blame myself too. We both made mistakes, and that’s what looking at our relationship from an objective perspective has taught me. Everything seems so intense when you’re actually living it, but when you take a step back and try to look at things differently, it all becomes clearer. We just weren’t ready for each other, and maybe we never were, and that’s okay.”

  Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. “I guess you’re right. That’s a very mature way of looking at it. I’m glad you were able to reach that conclusion since it gave you the closure you needed.”

  Something in his tone made Cara pause and study him. “I have a feeling you want to say something else.”

  Jack’s eyes snapped up to meet hers. “You always were able to tell when I had something I wanted to say.”

  He ran his hands through his hair. “Look, I think it’s great that you found closure, and I know that I messed up and didn’t do right by you, but when I said that we were different, I didn’t mean it like that. Different can be good. You’re the one who always said we balanced each other out. That I was the yin to your yang.”

  “I used to believe that. I thought that it was true, and in the beginning, it seemed to be, but in the end, your speck of light was gone, and your darkness nearly consumed me.”

  Sadness was etched all over Jack’s features. “I know, and believe me, no amount of regret can truly encompass the sorrow that I feel for having put you through that, but I don’t agree with you. I think our differences made us greater. It was just life that got in the way, and that couldn’t be helped.”

  Cara shrugged. “It wasn’t life that got in the way, Jack, and I needed to say that. It was the hardest wakeup call I’ve ever had. Like a slap to the fact that still reverberated long after the mark faded away, but I desperately needed to see that.”

  Chapter Three

  “Cara, I—” He paused and took a deep breath. “I still love you. I will always love you. You are the first person who ever made me feel like I was worth something, something more than what people thought. You stood by me when I wasn’t an easy person to be around, and you showed me that I shouldn’t be afraid to fall in love.”

  Cara took a step back. “Jack.” Her voice came out sounding hoarse, so she broke off and cleared her throat “Why are you telling me all this?”

  Jack took a step forward, so that Cara was placed between him and the doctor’s chair. “I’m telling you this because you need to know. I didn’t deserve you before, and I don’t deserve you now. That doesn’t change how I feel, though. The only difference is, this time I won’t try to deserve you, I’m just going to show you why you should give me another chance.”

  Cara shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “I know it’s crappy of me to do this now, when you’re finally starting to move on, but I’m going to win you back, Cara. Whatever it takes. I’m going to prove that I’m worth taking a second look at because you once looked at me, and saw something no one else could see. I’m hoping you’ll be able to do it again.”

  Cara’s mouth hung open, but only a strangled sound came out. “I, I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything, just don’t say no.”

  “Jack, I—” Cara tore her gaze away. “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  Cara’s eyes flew back to his. “Does it matter?”

  “It matters to me,” Jack said quietly. “And I think it matters to you, too.”

  She heaved a sigh, and her whole body shuddered because of the magnitude of his proximity. “I know it does, and I’m not negating that. I’m not saying that I don’t feel the same, but we tried to make it work once, and when we couldn’t, we nearly destroyed each other in the end.”

  “I don’t like the kind of people it turned us into, Jack. I don’t want to be that person again. It was almost like I lost myself. I wouldn’t survive you a second time, Jack.”

  Anguish, regret, and guilt fought for dominance in his eyes as he studied her quietly. “I know. I was lost myself, and I took it out on you, and I didn’t like it either. But, we know better now, we know what to avoid, and what to do. I think we can make it work again.”

  Cara tried to ignore the way her body felt when he was so close to her again. Especially because she had thought of nothing else for months, and she tried to ignore the yearning she felt for him.

  “Jack, you’re invading my personal space right now, and it’s making me unable to think clearly, so please just take a step back.”

  Jack hastily stepped back. “I didn’t mean to do that. I wasn’t trying to pressure you. I couldn’t help being drawn to you, Car. I’ve been drawn to you since the moment we met, before you even noticed me. I got carried away.”

  She really didn’t want to do this, but she felt like she had to.

  She needed it to.

  It was vital and essential for her to face Jack, and hear these things if she was ever going to be able to truly move on.

  Cara pursed her lips. “Jack, why do you love me?”

  Jack looked startled. “What do you mean?”

  Cara gestured between them. “I mean, why do you still love me? You said that you’re still in love with me, and that you always will be. Why?”

  Jack looked at her. “I can’t really put it into words, Car.”

  Cara took a step forward and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. “I think you think you’re still in love with me, Jack. The truth is probably that you aren’t anymore.”

  Jack’s eyes flashed. “You can’t tell me what I feel or don’t feel.”

  “I’m not trying to.”

  “Yes, you are. Just because you’re an emotional person, and you’re in touch with your emotional side doesn’t give you a free pass when it comes to determining how others feel.”

  “I don’t even know how you feel.” Exasperation leaked into her tone. “I really don’t, Jack. When we were together, in the beginning, I thought you felt something strong towards me, Deeper than what I felt because you had felt it for longer, but over time, I just wasn’t sure anymore. It started to seem like you were more in love with the idea in your head as opposed to the actual person.”

  Jack’s eyes had turned a shade darker. “You want to know why I love you?!”

  “Yes!” she yelled as they stood in front of each other, drawing ragged breaths, the electricity in the room having gone up ten notches. “Tell me how you freaking feel! Stop saying you can’t. I know you can!”

  Jack placed one hand on either side of her shoulder, and took a deep breath. He open
ed and closed his mouth several times, unable to formulate the words. Finally, he shook his head and pressed his mouth into a thin line.

  Disappointment flooded her senses. Her shoulders slumped forward, and she suddenly felt tired. The kind of tired that made her bones feel old, and her skin seemed to sag with the weight of her grief.

  The pain she felt was obviously still much too real.

  Like a gaping wound that had finally started to scab, but feeling impatient, she started to pick at it.

  “That’s why, Jack. That’s why I can’t give you a second chance. It would be like picking up where we left off.”

  Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Cara held up a hand to signal that he should wait.

  “The entire time we were together, I would literally beg you to let me in, to give me a chance to prove myself, but you kept me at arm’s length. You were always afraid that I’d end up hurting you like other people hurt you, and I never actually stood a chance.”

  “That’s not true, you know that isn’t true, Cara.”

  Cara searched his face. “Isn’t it, though? Deep down, I know you know that what I’m saying is true. You said it yourself. You’re an expert at pushing people away, at keeping your emotions close to your heart.”

  Jack’s eyes burned. “That isn’t true about us, Cara. You were never like that.”

  “Maybe not when we were friends, but that changed, didn’t it? You asked me to take a leap of faith, and take a chance on you.”

  Everything she had been feeling since their inevitable crash and burn was threatening to burst out of her. Like a volcano lying dormant for so long, it had no choice but to erupt, and melt everything in its path.

  Cara bit her lip to keep her mouth from trembling. “But what really happened is that when I jumped, you didn’t just step back and let me fall. You stared at my crumpled form on the floor, and you just walked away. You didn’t even look back, Jack. You just left me.”

  Cara almost wished she hadn’t shared that. Not because she regretted opening like that, but mostly because she stared at the aftermath, and she realized that Jack had pushed her to talk about something she preferred to keep under lock and key.