The Round-Up: A Romance of Arizona; Novelized from Edmund Day's Melodrama

by Marion Mills Miller, Edmund Day, and John Murray

  CHAPTER V

  Hoover Bows to Hymen

  Unknown to Bud Lane and Buck McKee, who were rioting in Florence, JackPayson had hurried up the wedding. Colonel Jim had wheedled Josephineinto consenting that it should take place two months ahead of the timethat had been fixed. "April is the month fer showers, Josie, an' we'lllet you weep all you please."

  Two weeks' notice, however, gave scant time for preparation for theimportant ceremony that Mrs. Allen deemed necessary. During thisperiod the busiest spot in Arizona was the kitchen of Allen hacienda.An immense cake, big as a cheese, was the crowning effort of Josephine,who wept copiously at the thought of losing her daughter as shemeasured and mixed the ingredients. A layer of frosting an inch inthickness encrusted this masterpiece of the art of pastry-making.Topping the creation were manikins of a bride and bridegroom.

  This climax of the bridal cake had been brought up by wagon from Tucsonwith more caution than if it were a month's clean-up of a paying mine.Mrs. Allen allowed no one to go near the artistic achievement. Othersmight look at it from afar, but at the slightest movement to get closeto it, she would push the observer back, with the warning: "Keep yerdirty fingers off'n it.

  "'Tain't common icin'; that's confectionary."

  Enough chickens to feed a darky camp-meeting were killed for the feast.Fried, roasted, cold or minced as tamales, the dishes filled ovens andtables, and overflowed into the spring-house. Favorite recipes carriedacross the plains by the wives of the Argonauts met in rivalry with thedishes of the cooks of old Mexico.

  Colonel Allen wandered aimlessly about the ranch, while thepreparations for the feast were in progress. The women folk drove himfrom one favorite loafing-place to another. His advice was scorned andhis wishes made a subject for jests.

  Defiantly he had taken full charge of the liquid refreshments. Afriendly barkeeper in Tucson, acting under his orders, had shipped himcases of champagne, a barrel of beer, and a siphon of seltzer. Why theseltzer he never could explain. Later the unlucky bottle marred thesupper and nearly caused a tragedy. A guest picked it up and peeredinto the metal tube to see "how the durned thing worked."

  As he gazed and pondered, shaking the bottle in effort to solve themystery, he pressed the handle. The stream struck him fairly betweenthe eyes. Shocked, surprised, and half-blinded, he pulled his gun anddeclared immediate war on the "sheep-herder who had put up the job onhim." Allen's other supplies were of the kind taken straight in theSouthwest, and were downed with a hasty gulp.

  Driven from the house on the day of the wedding he took refuge on thepiazza. From behind the hacienda floated dreamily on the sun-drenchedair the music of guitars and mandolins played by Mexicans, practisingfor the dance which would follow the ceremony.

  The Colonel dozed and dreamed.

  Suddenly the peace of the afternoon was shattered by the wild"yip-yips" of a band of cowboys, riding up the trail. Revolver-shotspunctuated their shrill cries.

  Allen bounded from his chair, shaking himself like a terrier. Thisriotous sound was the music he longed to hear.

  When the staccato beats of the ponies' hoofs ceased, he shouted: "Comeon, boys, make this your home. Everything goes, and the Sweetwateroutfit is always welcome."

  The foreman was the first to pull up in front of the house. "Hullo,Uncle Jim!" he cried.

  "Hello, Sage-brush," answered the Colonel, a broad smile illuminatinghis face. Holding his pipe in one hand, he licked his lips at thethought of "lickering up" without the invention of an excuse for hiswife.

  Then he joined in a hearty laugh with the men about the corral as heheard the grunts and stamping of a plunging mustang. A cow-pony hadentered into the spirit of the occasion and was trying to toss hisrider over his head.

  Fresno was the victim of the horse's deviltry.

  His predicament aroused wild shouts of mirth and sallies of the wit ofthe corral.

  "Hunt leather, Fresno, or he'll buck you clean over the wall," shoutedSage-brush.

  "Grab his tail," yelled Show Low, with a whoop.

  "All over," was the chorus, as Fresno, with a vicious jab of his spursand a jerk of the head, brought the animal into subjection.

  "Come right in, boys!" called Allen. "Let the Greasers take thehosses."

  With shrill shouts, whoops, and much laughter the guests crowded aboutthe ranchman.

  Each wore his holiday clothes; new handkerchiefs were knotted abouttheir necks. Fresno had stuck little American flags in the band of hishat, the crown of which he had removed. "I want head-room for themorning after," he had said.

  Show Low's chaps were conspicuously new, and his movements wereheralded by the creaking of unsoftened leather.

  Last of the band was Parenthesis, short, bow-legged, with a face tannedand seamed by exposure.

  The cowboys ran stiffly, toeing slightly inward. Long hours in thesaddle made them apparently awkward and really ungraceful when on theground.

  They greeted Allen with hearty enthusiasm, slapping him on the back,poking him in the ribs, and swinging him from one to the other, withcries of: "Howdy, Uncle Jim!"

  "Howdy, Sage-brush? Hello, Fresno! Waltz right in, Show Low. Glad tosee you all!" cried Allen, as he, in turn, brought his hand down withringing slaps upon shoulder and back. Meantime Parenthesis hoppedabout the outer edge of the ring, seeking an entrance. Failing toreach his host, he crowed: "How de doddle do," to attract his attention.

  Allen broke from the ring. Grasping Parenthesis by the hand, he said:"I'm tolerable, thankee, Parenthesis. Where's Jack?--didn't he comeover with you?"

  "What! the boss? Ain't he got here yet?" asked the foreman. Tall andlean, with hardened muscles, Sage-brush Charley was as lithe as apanther on horseback. His first toy had been a rope with which, as atoddler, he had practised on the dogs and chickens about theranch-yard. He could not remember when he could not ride. Days on theround-up, hours of watching the sleeping herd in the night-watch, hadmade him quiet and self-contained in his dealings with men. His eyeslooked out fearlessly on the world. All of his life he had handledcattle. Daily facing dangers on the long drives or in the corral, heschooled himself to face emergencies. Acquiring self-control, he wastrusted and admired. When Lyman, the old foreman of the Sweetwaterresigned, Jack Payson promoted Sage-brush, although next to Bud Lane hewas at the time the youngest man in the outfit. He made his employer'sinterests his own. At the mention of Payson's name he always becameattentive. With a shade of anxiety he awaited Allen's answer.

  "No," replied the ranchman, looking from one of his guests to the other.

  "Why, he started three hours ahead of us!" explained Parenthesis.

  With a challenging note in his tones, as if his word was disputed, thehost answered: "Well, he ain't showed up."

  The little group had become silent. Arizona was in a period of unrest.Rumors of another Apache uprising were growing stronger each day. ThenPayson was successful, and, therefore, despised by less fortunate menever eager for a quarrel.

  After a moment's thought Sage-brush brushed aside his fears andbrightened up his comrades with the remark: "Mebbe he rid over toFlorence station to get a present for Miss Echo. He said somethin'about gettin' an artickle from Kansas City."

  "Mebbe so," agreed Allen, eager to cast out any forebodings. "It'stime," he continued, "he wuz turnin' up, if this weddin's to be pulledoff by the clock."

  "Has the Sky Pilot got here yet?" asked Sage-brush.

  "No," replied Allen. "He's started, though. There's one thing sartin,we can't tighten up the cinches till the bridegroom gits here."

  The absence of Jack Payson and the failure of the minister to arrivearoused the suspicions of Sage-brush. Coming closer to Allen, hesmiled knowingly, and, speaking in a confidential tone, asked:

  "Say, Jim, they ain't figgerin' on gittin' away on the sly-like, arethey?"

  Show Low interrupted with the explanation: "You see, we're goin' todecorate the wagon some."

  The suggestion that a
ny one connected with Allen Hacienda would ride inanything on wheels, except the driver of the chuck-wagon out onround-up, aroused the indignation of the old cattleman. For him theonly use to which a wheeled vehicle drawn by a horse should be put wasto haul materials that could not be packed on a horse.

  "They ain't using any wagon!" he fairly shouted; "they're goin' away inthe leather."

  The idea of carrying out the traditions of the horse in Pinal Countyeven to a wedding-journey tickled the boys immensely.

  Slapping one another on the back and nodding their heads inapprobation, they shouted: "That's the ticket. Hooray!"

  "This ain't no New York idea, where the bride and groom hits thelife-trail in a hired hack," cried Fresno.

  Allen's feelings apparently were not yet fully soothed. Turning toSage-brush, he said: "Wheels don't go in my family. Why, her ma and mewere married on hossback. The preacher had to make a hurry job of it,but it took."

  "Hush, now," was Parenthesis' awed comment.

  "For her pop was a-chasin' us, and kept it up for twenty miles afterthe parson said 'Amen.'"

  "Did he ketch you?" asked Fresno, with great seriousness.

  "He sure did," answered Allen, with a twinkle in his eye, "an' thankedme for takin' Josephine off his hands."

  The boys laughed. The joke was upon themselves, as they had expectedto hear a romantic story of earlier days.

  When the laughter had subsided, Show Low suggested: "If we can'tdecorate the wagon, let's put some fixin's on the ponies."

  The proposal was received with more whoops, shouting, and yipping.They waltzed about the smiling rancher.

  "That's what!" cried Sage-brush enthusiastically.

  Allen grew sarcastic, remarking: "I reckon you-all must have stoppedsome time at the water-tank."

  Renewed laughter greeted this sally.

  "This is my first wedding," explained Sage-brush, rather apologetically.

  "I want to know!" exclaimed Allen, in surprise.

  "I'm tellin' you. I never seed a weddin' in all my life," repliedSage-brush, as seriously as if he was denying a false accusation of aserious crime. "Mother used to tell me about her'n, an' I often wishtI had been there."

  Fresno shouted with amusement. He had Sage-brush rattled. The coolestman on the ranch was flustered by the mere thought of attending awedding-ceremony.

  "He's plum locoed over this one. Ain't you, Sage-brush?" he drawledtauntingly.

  Sage-brush took his jibing in the best of humor. It was a holiday, andthey were with people of their own kind. Had a stranger been presentthe remarks would have been resented bitterly. On this point cowboysare particularly sensitive. In the presence of outsiders they aresilent, answering only in monosyllables, never leading in anyconversation, and if any comment is necessary they make it indirectly.

  "Well, I ain't no society-bud like you are," laughed Sage-brush. Theothers joined with him in his merriment over Fresno's discomfiture."Weddin's ain't so frequent where I come from as they is in Californy."

  "It's the climate," answered Fresno, with a broad grin.

  "So you ain't never been at a weddin'?" asked Allen, who was lookingfor another opening to have more fun with Sage-brush.

  Again the cowboy became serious and confessed: "Nope; I've officiatedat several plain killin's, an' been chief usher at a lynchin', but thisyere's my first weddin', an' I'm goin' to turn loose some and enjoy it."

  Sage-brush grinned in anticipation of the good times that he knew layin store for him at the dance.

  "You're fixed up as if you was the main attraction at this event," saidAllen, looking Sage-brush over carefully and spinning him around on hisheel.

  "Ain't I mussed up fine?" answered Sage-brush.

  "You're the sure big turkey," interrupted Parenthesis.

  "Served up fine, with all the trimmin's," laughed Fresno, takinganother jab at his friend.

  Their sport was broken up for the time being by the appearance of Pollyat the door of the ranch-house. "Hello, boys," she shouted, with thefascinating cordiality of the Western girl, wherein the breath of theplains, the purity of the air, and the wholesomeness of life isembraced in a simple greeting and the clasp of a hand.

  The cowboys took off their hats, and made elaborate bows to the youngwoman. "Howdy, Miss Polly!" they cried.

  "You sure do look pert," added Sage-brush, with what he considered hismost winning smile. Fresno snickered and hastily brushed back the hairfrom his forehead.

  "Where's Jack?" she asked the two men, who at once ranged themselvesone on each side of her.

  "He did not start with the boys," explained Allen. "He'll be alongsoon, Polly."

  "Well, now when it comes to lookers, what's the matter with PollyHope?" exclaimed Sage-brush slyly.

  Glances of admiration were cast at the girl, who was dressed simply andplainly in a little white gown which Mrs. Allen had made for her forthe wedding. Polly's youth, good nature, and ability to take care ofherself made her a favorite on the ranch.

  She had no need of defenders, but if an occasion should arise thatPolly required a knight, there were a score of guns at her service atan hour's notice.

  "Looks like a picture from a book," said Fresno, hoping to win back theground he had lost by Sage-brush's openly expressed admiration.

  Polly was flattered by the comments and the glances of the boys, whichexpressed their approval of her appearance more loudly than spokenwords. She pretended, however, to be annoyed. "Go 'long," she said."Where's Bud Lane? Didn't you give him his invite?"

  The boys turned from one to the other with feigned glances of disgustat being slighted by Polly for an absent one. The one-sided courtshipof Bud and Polly was known up and down the valley, and indefinitepostponement of their wedding-day was one of the jests of the tworanches.

  "Oh, we sent it on to him at Florence. He'll git it in time, if heain't gone to the Lazy K with Buck McKee," said Sage-brush; then,turning to the other cowboys, he added in an aggrieved tone: "Pollyain't got no eyes for no one excep' Bud."

  Polly stepped to Allen's side, and, laying her head on his shoulder,said: "Ain't I?" Allen patted the girl's head. He was very fond ofher, looking upon her as another daughter.

  Polly smiled back into his face, and then, with a glance at thecowboys, said: "Say, Uncle Jim, there's some bottles to be opened."

  The invitation was an indirect one, but all knew what it meant, andstarted for the house.

  "Root-beer," added Polly mischievously; "the corks pull awful hard."

  Allen glanced at her in feigned alarm.

  "What do you want to do--stampede the bunch?"

  Before she could answer, the approach of a horse attracted theattention of the group.

  "There's Jack, now!" cried Sage-brush, in tones which plainly showedhis relief; "no, it ain't," he added reflectively, "he rode his pacin'mare, and that's a trottin' horse."

  The cry of the rider was heard quieting his mount. Allen recognizedthe voice. "It's Slim Hoover," he cried.

  Polly clapped her hands, and said mischievously to Sage-brush: "Nowyou'll see me makin' goo-goo eyes to somebody besides Bud Lane. Iain't a-going to be the only girl in Pinal County Slim Hoover ain't setup to."

  "An' shied off from," added Sage-brush, a little nettled by Polly'soverlooking him as a subject for flirtation. "But what's Slim doin'over this way?"

  "Come to Jack's weddin', of course," replied Polly, addingcomplacently: "And probably projectin' a hitch-up of his own."

  Slim ran around the corner of the house directly into the crowd, whoseized him before he could recover from his surprise, and proceeded tohaze him, to their intense delight and the Sheriff's embarrassment, forhe knew that Polly was somewhere near, enjoying his discomfiture.Polly waited until her victim was fully ready for her particular formof torture. The reception of the cowboys was crude to her refined formof making the fat Sheriff uncomfortable.

  With the velvety cruelty of a flirt she held out her hand, saying:"Hello,
Slim."

  The Sheriff flushed under his tan. The red crept up the back of hisneck to his ears. He awkwardly took off his hat. With a bow and ascrape he greeted her: "Howdy, Miss Polly, howdy." Meantime he shookher hand until she winced from the heartiness of the grip.

  "What's the news?" she asked, as she slowly straightened out herfingers one by one.

  "There's been a killin' over Florence way," announced the Sheriff,putting on his hat and becoming an officer of the law with duty toperform.

  "Who is the misfortunate?" asked Sage-brush, as they gathered aboutHoover and listened intently.

  Murder in Arizona was a serious matter, and punishment was meted out tothe slayer or he was freed by his fellow citizens. Far from courts ofjustice and surrounded by men to whom death was often merely anincident in a career of crime, the settlers were forced to depend uponthemselves to keep peace on the border. They acted quickly, but neverhastily. Judgment followed quickly on conviction. Their views werebroad, and rarely were their decisions wrong.

  "'Ole Man' Terrill," replied the Sheriff. "Happened about ten thismornin'. Some man caught him alone in the railroad-station and blowedhis head half-off."

  "Do tell!" was Allen's exclamation.

  "Yep," continued the Sheriff. "He must have pulled a gun on thefellow. He put up some sort of a fight, as the room is some mussed up."

  "Robbery?" queried Polly, with wide-open eyes.

  "That's what!" answered Slim, turning to her. "He had three thousan'dollars pinned in his vest--county money for salaries. You know how hetoted his wad around with him, defyin' man or the devil to get it 'wayfrom him? Well, some one who was both man an' devil was too much forhim."

  "Who found him?"

  "I did myself. Went over around noon after the money. Didn't stop togo back to town fer a posse. Trail was already too cold. Could tell itwas a man that rode a pacin' horse."

  His auditors looked at each other, striving to remember who of theiracquaintance rode a pacing horse. Sage-brush Charley shook his head."Nobody down this way, 'ceptin', of course, the boss, rides a pacer.Must be one of the Lazy K outfit, I reckon."

  "Most likely," said the Sheriff; "he struck out south, probably tothrow me off scent. Then he fell in with two other men, and thisballed me up. I lost one of the tracks, but follered the other tworound Sweetwater Mesa, till I came where they rode into the river. Ofcourse I couldn't follow the trail any farther at that p'int, so, bein'as I was near Uncle Jim's, I rode over fer help to look along bothbanks an' pick up the trail wherever it comes out of the river. SorryI must break up yer fun, boys, but some o' yuh must come along with me.Duty's duty. I want Sage-brush, anyhow, as I s'pose I can't ask ferJack Payson."

  Sage-brush pulled a long face. At any other time he would have jumpedat the chance of running to earth the dastardly murderers of his oldfriend Terrill. But in the matter of this, his first experience awedding, he had tickled his palate so long with the sweets ofanticipation that he could not bear to forgo the culminating swallow ofrealization.

  "I don't see why I shouldn't be let off as well as Jack," he grumbled;"our cases are similar. You see it's my first weddin'," explained theforeman to the sheriff.

  The other cowboys howled with delight. The humor of the situationcaught their fancy, and they yelled a chorus of protestation inHoover's ears. In this Colonel Allen joined.

  "Don't spile the weddin'," he pleaded. "This event has already roundedup the Sweetwater outfit fer yuh, an' saved yuh more time than you'lllose by waitin' till it's over. Then we'll all jine yuh."

  Hoover commanded silence, and, rolling a cigarette, gravely consideredthe proposition. He realized that the murderers should be followed upat once, but that if he forced the cowboys by the legal power exercisedto forego the pleasure they had been anticipating so greatly, theywould not be so keen in pursuit as if they had first "given the bosshis send-off." The considerations being equal, or, as he put it, "hossan' hoss," it seemed to him wise to submit to Allen's proposition,backed as it was by the justice of his plan that the occasion of thewedding had already saved valuable time in assembling the posse. Heassented, therefore, but, to maintain the dignity of his office andcontrol of the situation, with apparent reluctance.

  "Well, hurry up the sacreements an' ceremonies, then, an' the minutethe preacher ties the knot, every man uv yuh but Jack an' the parsonan' Uncle Jim gits on his boss an' folluhs me. I'll wait out in thecorral."

  At this there was another storm of expostulation, led this time byAllen. Of course Hoover was to come to the wedding, and be its guestof honor. "You shall be the first to wish Jack and Echo lucky," saidAllen. "That means you'll be the next one to marry."

  The ruddy-faced Sheriff blushed to the roots of his auburn hair.

  "Much obliged, but I ain't fixed up fer a weddin'," and he looked downat his travel-stained breeches tucked in riding-boots white withalkali-dust, and felt of his buttonless waistcoat and gingham shirtopen at the throat, with the bandanna handkerchief his neck in lieu ofboth collar and tie.

  Polly assured him that he would do very well as he was, that for herpart she "wouldn't want no better-dressed man than he to be present ather wedding, not even the feller she was goin' to be hitched up to;"whereat Slim Hoover was greatly set at ease.

  Polly was bounding up the piazza steps to tell Echo of the accession toher party, when Hoover held up his hand. A terrifying suggestion hadflashed through his mind.

  "Hold on a minute!" he exclaimed, and, turning to Allen, he askedanxiously: "Does this yere guest of honor haf to kiss the bride?"

  The question was so foreign to the serious topic which had just beenunder discussion that everyone laughed in relief of the nervous tension.

  Allen's fun-loving nature at once bubbled to the surface. With an airof assumed anger he said to the Sheriff: "Of course; every guest hasto do it." Then, turning to the cowboys, he asked: "Is there any oneas holds out strong objection to kissin' my daughter?"

  "Not me," laughed Sage-brush, "I'm here to go the limit."

  "I'm an experienced kisser, I am," said Parenthesis, "I don't lose nochance at practise."

  "I'll take two, please," simpered Fresno.

  Show Low interrupted the general sally which followed this remark,saying: "I strings my chips along with Fresno."

  "Slim's afraid of females!" drawled Polly provokingly.

  "Oh, thunder!" exclaimed Slim to Polly. "No, I ain't, nothin' of thesort. I'm a peaceful man, I am. I never likes to start no trouble."

  "Get out, what's one kiss?" laughed Allen.

  "I've seen a big jack-pot of trouble opened by chippin' in just onekiss," wisely remarked the Sheriff.

  Sage-brush, at this point, announced decisively: "The bride has got tobe kissed."

  Slim tried to break through the group and enter the house, thinkingthat by making such a move he would divert their attention, and that inthe excitement of the wedding he could avoid kissing the bride, anordeal which to him was more terrible than facing the worst gun-fighterin Arizona.

  "I deputize you to do the kissin' for me," he said to Parenthesis, whohad laid his hand shoulder to detain him.

  "No, siree," the cowboy replied. "Every man does his own kissin' inthis game." Slim half-turned as if undecided. Suddenly he turned onhis heel, started for the corral. "I'll wait outside," he shouted.

  "No, you don't!" cried his companions. He turned to face a semicircleof drawn revolvers. He looked from one man to another, as if puzzledwhat move to make next. Allen was annoyed by the sheriff's actions,taking it as an insult that he would not kiss his daughter, although hehad started to twit the Sheriff in the beginning.

  "You ain't goin' to insult me and mine that way. No man sidestepskissin' one of my kids," he said angrily.

  Slim was plaintively apologetic: "I ain't kissed a female since I was ayearlin'."

  "Time you started," snapped Polly.

  "You kiss the bride, or I take it pussenel," said Allen, thoroughlyaroused
.

  "Well, if you put it that way, I'll do it," gasped Slim, in desperation.

  The agreement restored the boys to their good nature.

  "You will have to put blinders on me, though, and back me up,"cautioned Hoover.

  "We'll hog-tie you and sit on your head," laughed Sage-brush, as theguests entered the house.