Discarded by Fate
Page 58
He’d been right.
Only, not for the reasons as he originally thought. He’d fallen for her. A part of him missed her so much, but that part had to be whole again in order to be with her.
There was no way he could offer Sarah the man she deserved when he was barely whole.
She deserved the best.
So, that meant finishing this job to be free of his baggage. No woman wanted a man carrying more than his share of troubles. They wanted happiness.
They wanted a normal life, and at that point, he couldn’t give Sarah that. He had to catch Bonnie, avenge his fallen partner, put the woman down, and then finally be free.
Still…
God!
His heart ached.
Rolling over, he grabbed his bag. Pulling out an envelope, he held it in his hands. It was from the woman he loved. Somehow, his mail had magically found him. When Dakota arrived in New Orleans, it had been waiting.
He didn’t know how, but the mere thought that she was writing him—in such an old-fashioned way—spoke to that dark part of his soul.
It gave him a glimmer of life.
Even though it had been in his possession a few days, he’d yet to open it.
It scared him.
If this was a ‘Dear John’ letter, he was taking a freaking bridge. It scared the shit out of him, and he couldn’t explain it. Dakota didn’t think he could bear to lose her too.
Sarah was the only thing he had in his life that wasn’t corrupted, empty, or draining.
To lose her…he’d lose himself.
She was his anchor to the light, and he was already precariously teetering on the abyss.
Then again, if she told him to fuck off, he’d get it.
After all, he’d left her standing in that office, tears in her eyes, as he walked away from the life he loved.
As he left the woman he loved.
Oh, he deserved that and so much more. If she told him she hated him, he’d swallow it.
If she told him to drop dead, he’d cut that final tie to the last person in the world.
Truthfully, she’d be doing them both a favor. He’d finally be free from any emotions.
He could only hope she’d be stronger than him and do it for both of them. Then Dakota could be the bad guy—the one he knew he was—and he could give up what was left of his soul.
Only he knew her.
She was tenacious.
For some reason, she wanted him.
HIM.
—with his five o’clock shadow, wildly growing brown hair, and troubled dark eyes.
Clearly, she was out of her mind.
Staring down at the paper in his hands, his fingers actually shook. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened the envelope.
There was only one way to move on.
Once she gave him the finger via letter, he’d be free.
It was six months coming.
Slowly, gently, and reverently, he slid the pale pink paper from its wrapping. As he unfolded it, he could smell her scent. Sarah always smelled like a warm summer’s day.
Cherries.
Lemonade.
Life.
Unfolding it, he studied the writing. It was scrolling, it was delicate, and it was her.
His heart thumped as he read it.
‘My dearest Dakota,
Since you’ve blocked my emails, refused to take my calls, and have no desire to hear from me, I figured I’d take one last shot at this. I hope this letter finds you alive. I don’t understand your suicide mission, but I accept it. I will be here when you’re ready. I meant what I said. I love you.
Nothing you can do will change that. I know the man you are inside, and I think he’s special. I know he’s meant to be mine.
When you find Bonnie, and it’s time to come home, come to me. I’ll be that shelter in the storm. I’ll be that one person you can hold onto when you feel so alone.
I’ll be her.
For you.
I wish I could be by your side. I’d help you find her, but I get it. This has to be about you. This has to be about you realizing that you are loved, you are worth something to someone, and that I won’t hurt you.
So, I’ll wait—even if it takes twenty years. I’ll be here. I already know that you’re the one. So, in order to prove it to you, I’ll stay here, keeping a vigil until you feel like you can come home.
I miss you, Dakota.
And I love you so very much.
Be safe. I hope you catch her, and I hope you survive. I won’t love anyone else. I can’t. The second I saw you, I knew. You were meant to be mine.
Forever,
Sarah.’
He stared at the words for a good ten minutes, trying to digest them. No one had ever said those things to him.
No one.
Here he was, chasing a demon that kept slipping through his fingers, and there was someone back in DC who actually wanted him.
What was wrong with him?
What was his problem?
Oh yeah, that sick sense of justice that forced him to live in this vicious loop.
Hunt and find.
Hunt and find.
He couldn’t break the cycle.
Gently, he lifted the letter to his nose and sniffed it. In his mind, he pictured her.
That blonde hair running though his fingers, the bright blue eyes that sparkled when she laughed, and the kindness from her lips.
His whole being ached.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I love you too. I’m trying,” he whispered, barely able to get the words out.
They were caught in his chest.
Locked in his soul.
Bound by his perverse need for justice.
“I’ll get back to you.”
Yeah, if Bonnie didn’t kill him first. Dakota knew the odds were NOT in his favor.
He knew that he wasn’t going to walk away from that battle. He could already see his death, and it was going to be ugly. He only hoped that Sarah would move on.
He prayed she’d never know his fate. Maybe it was better for her to never know that he’d died alone, broken, and doing something so selfish that he didn’t deserve her.
His hand shook as he wanted to rip that letter to shreds so he wouldn’t have to face the truth.
This was his suicide mission and he was never going to make it back.
He was going to die on this hunt. A man like him always knew the odds, and they were not in his favor.
Instead of destroying her letter, he gently folded it back up, tucked it into the envelope, and placed it beneath his pillow.
Maybe her words would seep into his body via osmosis, and he would be able to shake this sick need for revenge.
Leaning back, he stared at the ceiling.
“Give me a sign. Just one sign to see that I need to change my direction and survive.”
And he got one.
He fell asleep.
Coming next month:
Atonement
Book One in the Hunter Trilogy
Nov 2017
Other books by Morgan Kelley:
Standalone books
The Junction
Serial Sins
The Blood Betrayal
Romance/FBI Thriller Series
Elizabeth, Ethan, and Callen
The Killing Times (book 1)
Sacred Burial Grounds (book 2)
True Love Lost (book 3)
Deep Dark Mire (book 4)
Fire Burns Hot (book 5)
Darkness of Truth (book 6)
Devil Hath Come (book 7)
Consumed by Wrath (book 8)
Redemption is Here (book 9)
Dead Shall Speak (book 10)
Pledging to Die (book 11)
Slay Bells Ring (book 12)
Past will Haunt (13) Flashback Book #1
Choices will Destroy (14)
Blood shall Run (15)
Act of Blood (16)
Stalked by the Past (
17) Flashback book #2
Dying to Love (18)
Kiss of Souls (18.5) a Littlemoon/FBI crossover.
Revenge has Come (19) June 2017
Discarded by Fate (20) Oct 2017
Dawn of Evil (21) Flashback book #3 Jan 2018
Dead are Forgotten (22) Jan 2018
Croft & Croft Romance Adventure Series
Greyson and Emma Croft
Celestia is Falling (book 1)
Vegas is Dying (book 2)
Christmas is Killing (book 3)
Love is Bleeding (book 4)
Heaven is Weeping (book 5)
Hell is Burning (book 6)
Justice is Dying (book 7)
The Croft Mob Series
Greyson and Emma Croft spinoff series
Dark Justice (1)
Lost Justice (2)
Paid Justice (3)
Wedding of our Dreams Novella (3.5) Steele and Dante
True Justice (4) March 2018
Mob Justice (5) August 2018
All Justice (6) March 2019
Wedding Day Blues Novella (6.5) March 2019
No Justice (7) August 2019
City Justice (8) March 2020
Bad Justice (9) August 2020
Sold Justice (10) March 2021
The Littlemoon Investigations Series
Julian and Tori Littlemoon
Blood Red Rage (book 1)
Lost & Broken (book 2)
Unthinkable Games (book 3)
Truth is Found (book 4)
Haven of Nightmares (book 5)
Forbidden Secrets (book 6)
Kiss of Souls (book 7)
Lost Souls (book 8) Sept 2017
The Hunter Trilogy
Dakota Rakin
Atonement (1) December 2017
Absolution (2) May 2018
Amends (3) December 2019
The Romance Anthology
Blackhawks, Crofts, Littlemoons etc
It’s Good to be the Boss (Antho 1) Surprise release. 2017
It’s Good to be Loved (Antho 2) 2018
It’s Good to be Bad (Antho 3) 2018
The Carter Chronicles Trilogy
Callista, Nathaniel, and Lucas
Sinner Repent (book 1)
Sinner Realized (book 2)
Sinner Reborn (book 3)
The Oracle Phoenix Files
Nathaniel Carter and Avalon Miller
Oracle Rising (book 1)
Oracle Seeing (book 2)
Oracle Haunting (book 3)
Oracle Hunting (book 4) Feb 2018
Harcourte Vampyre Society
Jolie, Jacques and Flynn
Dangerous Revelations (book 1)
Dangerous Choices (book 2)
Dangerous Misery (book 3)
Dangerous Retaliation (book 4)
Dangerous Influence (book 5)
Dangerous Sacrifice (book 6)
Dangerous Blood (Final Book) Dec 2017
The Tueur
Flynn and Jolie
Wicked Hunt (1) November 2018
Anthologies
All the couples in one book
Illegal Fantasies-
Behind Closed Doors(1)
Romance Under Arrest- winter 2014
Behind Closed Doors(2)
Holiday Reinforcements-
Behind Closed Doors (3)- winter 2015
Please feel free to visit her at her blog at
www.morgankelley.blogspot.com
MK