Ruin You Completely

by Calia Read

  I gave her a look. “I’m buzzed. Not drunk. They’re two different things, my friend.”

  Simone looked over her shoulder at Hot Guy. My eyes had a mind of their own and quickly drew back to him. He didn’t look away when our gazes met. A thoughtful expression was on his face. He took a drink of his beer, tipping his head back. The muscles in his throat jumped against his skin. Just watching him made a shot of lust slam into me.

  “Don’t go over there,” Simone continued. “He looks complicated.”

  I smiled deviously at her. “I’m not here to know his life story. I just want to dance with him.”

  Simone didn’t look convinced.

  “Okay...” I dragged out. “And wrap myself around him like a second skin, but that’s neither here nor there.”

  “What’s gotten into you?”

  “Nothing,” I said. But that wasn’t entirely true. I had a case of liquid courage, but I also had a guy that was staring at me so intensely I was starting to shift in my seat.

  “Oh, come on!” I said and leaned in. “Are you telling me that you’ve never looked at a guy and thought: ‘Him! I need to talk to him right now.’ Not once?”

  “One: That’s not a guy. He’s a grown man! Two: Of course I have. But I have enough brain cells to recognize if I’m biting off more than I can chew.”

  There was a chance Simone was right, but I had no desire for a comfortable guy. I’d lived comfortably my whole life. And maybe I wanted someone that had more edge to them than I’d ever have. Maybe I wanted to walk to the very edge of the cliff. Maybe I wanted danger.

  “I’m going over,” I announced.

  Simone grabbed my hand, and I gave her a bright smile and gently extracted myself out of her hold. “I just want to dance with him.”

  “We’re here to get a drink and have a night of fun, not for you to hook up with someone.”

  “Just a few minutes ago you were helping me find a guy.”

  “Ja. Well, I changed my mind. Man hunt off.”

  “This is my night of fun. Starting tomorrow, there will be no more of this.”

  I was set in my decision, and nothing she said would stop me. My determination must have reflected in my eyes; Simone sighed, her shoulders drooping in defeat.

  “Okay, but if you go over there you might as well jump in front of a moving bus. That man is going to run you right over.”

  “I’ll take my chances. Just look at him. He looks so solemn and composed, but I bet there’s a wild side to him that he’s hiding.”

  “Get real, Katja. You live your life like you’re in some giant romantic bubble.”

  Was that really a bad thing? The world was filled with enough lies and tragedy. What was the harm in wanting happiness?

  I hopped off the barstool. My drink was in my hand as I made my way across the room. The whole time, my eyes never left Hot Guy’s. He stared back at me. Even from across the room I picked up on his feral energy.

  Maybe I was walking into the lion’s den. But the closer I got, the more of a rush I felt. I thought he waited for me to chicken out and turn around in the direction of all the available guys. I could, if I wanted to. But I didn’t.

  I moved throughout the crowd in record time. I was a woman on a mission.

  His head turned, and he watched me move closer to him. When the crowd gave way, I slid next to him. I ignored the guy next to him, who was staring at me with a grin. Hot Guy looked me up and down, and I stood there letting him look, loving the adrenaline coursing through me. Only one thing could ever make me feel so alive and that was the piano.

  “Hello,” I said in English.

  Where he was from was still up in the air for me. He looked German, but he had a different vibe about him that made me second-guess myself.

  “Hi,” he said … in perfect English. His voice was deep, almost mesmerizing and could make any woman go into a complete frenzy. “I’m Mathias.” He held his hand out to shake.

  I took it, reveling in the way it swallowed mine whole.

  He lifted both eyebrows as if to say, “And you are?”

  “I’m Olivia.” The lie slipped from my tongue before I could think twice. I felt reckless. I wasn’t myself, so I figured I might as well round off this new side of me by giving myself a different name. I loved how Olivia sounded. So beautiful. Like I was a sophisticated female that had the world at her fingertips. Not a girl that had no life outside of music. Besides, the chances of me and Hot Guy—now promoted to Mathias—ever seeing each other outside of this club were extremely low. I had nothing to lose.

  Mathias plucked a cigarette from his carton. And I watched every action. I watched the way he placed it between his lips, gently holding it as he flipped his lighter. A flame appeared. He held the cigarette in the flame until it lit. Mathias sucked in his cheeks, watching me the whole time he took a drag. It was a bad, terrible habit. But he made it look incredibly sexy.

  “You’re not German,” I stated confidently. Mathias merely smirked and I took that as a yes. “You’re here traveling?”

  The guy next to us snorted loud enough for me to hear. I ignored him and leaned my hip against Mathias’ barstool. My thigh touched his. Desire swept through me, making me want to jump back.

  “You’re nosy,” Mathias said.

  “You’re not answering,” I shot back.

  He grinned a wicked smile, one that made my heart drum so loud and fast I could hear it above the pounding music pouring out the speakers.

  “I’m here for business,” he replied.

  “I see.” I took another sip of my drink; my gaze was fixed on his.

  Those eyes of his looked me up and down again, landing on my cleavage for a heartbeat. My nipples tightened. I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to control the way my body responded around him. When his eyes drifted across my face, they narrowed a fraction. And then he shifted in his seat. I saw more of his body. I saw just how big he was. Big shoulders, strong forearms. Long, long legs. If he stood up I knew without a doubt that he would tower over me.

  And then the guy sitting next to Mathias spoke up.

  “Oh, kleines Mädchen , die Sie nicht möchten, dass diese ein.” Oh, little girl, you don’t want this one.

  I looked over my shoulder at him. My eyes narrowed. He smirked at me. I turned back around and focused my attention on Mathias.

  “How old are you, Olivia?” Mathias asked.

  I knew what I looked like to him. Small and delicate. I barely looked my age of nineteen. So I lied.

  “I’m twenty-four,” I said. But I lied so smoothly, without showing a crack in my story.

  Mathias’ gaze was intense, as if he was trying to call my bluff. He gave my body another sweep. After a few seconds, he smirked and stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray.

  To take the heat off of me, I leaned close and said into his ear: “How old are you?”

  His body turned and his arm brushed against my breast. His eyes flared with desire as he stared at my lips. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me. The insane part was that I wouldn’t have stopped him. He looked me in the eye and grinned, like he knew what I was thinking. There was an edge to his smirk that said nothing and no one could get him to lose control.

  Maybe I was losing my mind because I wanted to test that theory. I wanted to try and make him lose it all.

  “I’m twenty-six, little Olivia.”

  He stood up from the stool. I came up to his shoulders. I perused his body slowly. He wore blue jeans, with a white dress shirt that was tucked in, and had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his strong forearms. His energy was more powerful than everyone in the room combined, including mine. I found myself shifting closer, leaning in to him just so I could have some of his energy rub off on me. My smile was purely female as I tilted my head back until it couldn’t go any further, and when my eyes met his, he smirked wickedly.

  This guy was the epitome of sin. There was this feral look in his eyes, like he could make me fe
el all sorts of things if I could keep up with him.

  Mathias leaned down. His large hand wrapped around my arm, holding me in place. “I’m too old for you,” he said deeply.

  For Katja he was. But for twenty-four Olivia he was completely available. I slid closer to him. “No, you’re not.”

  Mathias seemed almost amused by my words. And before he could say anything else, I wrapped my fingers around his solid forearm. His skin was hot to the touch. I started walking, knowing that he would follow.

  I looked over my shoulder at him and found him staring at my ass. “Come dance with me, Mathias-that-is-too-old-for-me,” I called.

  I found a small opening in the moving bodies and turned, making sure my hands wrapped around his bicep. Smiling up at him, I moved my body to the beat coming through the speakers. And he watched me, ignoring everyone in the room. I felt like his private little dancer. He looked hypnotized as he watched me. He made me feel so potent and wicked that I couldn’t help but keep moving, keep feeling.

  The beat was loud, hitting my skin and ears, making my body feel like it was pulsating. I closed my eyes and turned around. My shoulders touched the hard wall of his chest. I felt his cock against my lower back.

  I moaned. And suddenly his hands were firmly on my hips. I was flush against him. There was no space between us. I felt the energy radiating off of him.

  Back away from him! My mind screamed at me. This is not safe.

  Not safe.

  Not safe.

  But playing it safe my whole life had gotten me nowhere. Tonight I wanted to straddle the line between good and bad.

  So I kept moving. When his hands glided down my stomach and possessively held my hips, I let him. My blood was roaring through my body, going straight to my fingertips, and down to the tips of my toes. The marigold of colors above me started to blend.

  Song after song I danced with Mathias. Bodies pushed me this way and that, but he kept a firm hold on me.

  Who knows how long we stayed that way. Time didn’t really seem to matter right now. I was always so self-contained, and it felt so good just to feel reckless.

  The music faded. A new song started. Mathias turned me around. I was flush against him, feeling every part of him that had just touched my back seconds ago.

  “How old are you really?” he asked. His lips grazed against my ear.

  I smiled up at him. “Twenty-four.”

  Panting, he stared at me. He had his doubts. I could see them in his eyes. But I gave him a seductive smile and toyed with the buttons of his shirt. Playing with fire? Absolutely. But this was such a rush. He was panting. He wanted me. I laid my palms on his chest, loving the feel of muscle underneath my hands. I dragged them upward.

  His hands wrapped around my neck, and his thumbs brushed against my jaw line. He moved me closer and growled into my ear, “I want to fuck you.”

  My body froze. I glanced up at him, pleasure and shock written across my features.

  “Come back to my place,” he said. Eyes blazing.

  I said nothing. Mathias waited, his gaze never leaving my face.

  It all came down to one simple question: Did I really want this?

  Yes. I didn’t need to think it over for a second.

  I brought his face down to mine. Our lips met. The kiss went from zero to sixty. Everything that had been swirling around us tonight latched onto our skin, making me act out in a way I’d never done before. I bit down on his lower lip and gently tugged.

  He dragged his lips down my throat. His stubble scraped against my skin. He lifted his head and watched me, waiting for my answer.

  “Yes,” I said. “I want that.”

  Mathias gave me a long, hard look before he linked his hands with mine.

  “Follow me,” he said.

  I followed.

  K A T J A

  Let’s establish one thing right now: I knew walking out of the club with a man I barely knew was insane.

  More than insane.

  It was crazy.

  I never did this. But tonight I felt so different from my normal self. Confident and in control. It was a rush and I wanted more.

  Mathias held my hand as we walked down the sidewalk. His long legs ate up the sidewalk in long, confident strides. I could barely keep up.

  The streets were quiet. Every so often a taxi drove by us. My buzz was starting to wear off, but my heart still thumped wildly. There was no practical, logical side of my mind telling me to turn around and go find Simone; even that side was enticed by Mathias.

  “Slow down,” I said laughingly.

  And he did. Later on, I would realize that I spoke to him in Bavarian and he had understood me. But at that time I was too preoccupied by the way he made me feel. Even with the summer breeze touching my damp skin I still felt like I was on fire.

  We continued to walk down a main street, and I realized we weren’t too far from where I lived. All the local hotels where tourists stayed were in the opposite direction. I stopped suddenly and Mathias quickly turned. The stark hunger in his eyes caused my excitement to spike. Dear God, even outside on a quiet street, he still had the ability to ignite something in me. I swallowed.

  I pointed to the main road, toward the hotels. “Shouldn’t we be going that way?”

  Mathias frowned. “I have an apartment here.”

  I frowned back. “So you’re staying here ... in Garmisch?”

  “Not for very long.” He looked at me carefully. “Why?”

  He probably thought I was clingy, that I’d already picked out China patterns in my head. But I wanted tonight to be a one-time thing, a night of letting everything go, and not worrying about a single thing. I wanted no attachments, no strings. Nothing.

  I exhaled loudly and smiled. “I was just curious. No big deal.”

  He paused and nudged his head toward the building on the right. “Do you still want to come home with me?”

  I didn’t think twice. “Yes.”

  He took my hand and we hurried up to the front door. I tried my hardest to walk on my tiptoes. In the silent of the night the echoes of my heels sounded extraordinarily loud. But maybe that was a side effect of being this close to Mathias. Every sound and touch felt amplified. While Mathias unlocked the door, I wrapped my arms around his waist, loving the feel of his hard body. My hands drifted down his stomach, feeling his abs contract beneath my palms. He groaned. When it seemed like I was going to keep going further, I abruptly hooked my fingers through his belt loops.

  Mathias almost dropped his key. He muttered a curse and I smiled into his back. The door finally opened. Mathias hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I stifled a bubble of laughter building up in my throat.

  As we reached the second floor, I whispered, “Anxious?”

  He turned and I walked into him.

  “Are you?” he asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  His hands slid around my waist as he walked me backwards. I stared up at him trustingly. He backed me up until my back was against the door. The hallway lights were off. There was a single window at the far end of the hallway, letting in lukewarm light. I only saw pieces of Mathias’ features: one high cheekbone, the sharp line of his nose, and the curve of his lips. I loved everything about it; we met in the dim glow of light. It felt right to end the night the exact same way.

  He held my face in his hands and watched me with a sharp expression.

  “How old are you?” Mathias asked me gruffly.

  “Why do you keep asking me that?” I whispered, my lips inches away from his mouth. My hands curled around his broad shoulders and drifted down to his biceps. I loved how he loomed over me.

  “I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  I pulled back and stared at him. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. I leaned forward and kissed the smooth skin of his throat. He moaned as I bit down gently and sucked on his skin. When I pulled away, those feral eyes were back to life.

 
; “I know what I’m getting myself into,” I said.

  He looked hesitant, but only for a second. I didn’t know what he was thinking, and I didn’t care because after that everything else in the entire fucking world disappeared. The kiss in the club … it was nothing like this. This one seemed to ignite something in me. Something that’d been suppressed and buried deep inside me my entire life and only Mathias knew where to find it.

  I moaned into his mouth and gripped his biceps.

  His tongue swept into my mouth. His hands were tangled up in my hair, holding me in place. My back loudly hit the door. That didn’t stop us. His body was pressed against mine and his hands were all over. My body arched against his, trying to touch every inch of him. He reached my back and searched for the doorknob.

  After a few seconds he found it. The door opened and we stumbled into his apartment. Mathias kicked the door shut, his lips never leaving mine. Now that we were in the privacy of his apartment, he shoved me up against the wall. I gasped when his hands moved down to my waist. He lifted me up, as if I weighed nothing. I was eye level with him. My hands were braced on his shoulders. My legs wrapped around his waist like they had a mind of their own. His hands drifted away from my thighs, moving up, up, up. His thumbs brushed against my skin, inches away from my underwear. I gripped the back of his head, holding him tighter. Kissing him deeply. I found myself wanting him to never stop touching me.

  But, suddenly, he did.

  His hands disappeared from my legs and settled on the wall. His forehead rested against my bare shoulder. I was still wrapped around him like a coiled snake. I could feel his warm breath. It made me shift against him, which made him groan. We stayed like that for a second.

  “Why’d you stop?” I asked. My voice was hoarse and weak, like I’d never used it before.

  He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. For all his seductive way, I could tell this wasn’t something he did frequently, if at all.

  “You want me to keep going?” he asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  We moved away from the wall and walked deeper into his dark apartment. He dropped down onto the couch, his hands still tangled in my hair, lips moving over mine. I went with him and only pushed myself away to hike up my dress. I sat up straight and stared down at him for a second.