Chasing Shadows

by Ashley Townsend

  Richard looked down, almost appearing surprised to see it lying over his heart. His lips tipped fondly. “Ah, no. My mother had it made for me.”

  “Well, it’s beautiful.”

  Dagwood spun around, looking pleased as he held out the basket that overflowed with sumptuous fruits. “Richard will deliver the rest to the kitchen later today.” Sarah’s stomach sank when she took in all the food.

  “Oh. I didn’t think to bring any money with me,” she said quietly, embarrassed by her blunder. The man shook his head, appearing unfazed.

  “We can put it on the ledger—Edie always does.”

  Sarah smiled her gratitude and accepted the heavy-laden basket. She held it in front of her, signed her first name only in the book he held out, and thanked the man again.

  “No trouble at all, miss.” Dagwood smiled. “You tell Edie that ol’ Dagwood thinks she’s found herself a good girl to help, one with her own mind. And a sense of humor!” He feigned a look of shock as he pressed a hand to his heart, and Sarah grinned at his animated expression.

  “Yeah, well, I should probably leave out the part about having a mind of my own, but the rest I will happily relay.” He winked at her like her grandpa always did when they shared a secret. Then he grinned at Richard.

  “We must do our best to make our girl here feel welcome in town.”

  Richard appeared surprised as he looked at her. “Are you not from Serimone?”

  Shaking her head, Sarah replied wryly, “No. I traveled quite a ways to get here.”

  Scrubbing a hand over a strong, cleanly shaven jaw, he said with a sheepish smile, “I hope we haven’t made too poor an impression.”

  Sarah shook her head, feeling lighter after their conversation. “Not at all. You two are some of the nicest people I’ve encountered here.”

  “And now that you have met me and my boy,” Dagwood announced gaily, clapping Richard on the shoulder, “you’ve consequently met the last interesting people in the country.”

  Sarah smiled. She couldn’t help wondering why Richard called his “father” by his first name or why the two men appeared as different as night and day, but she decided not to pry.

  Knowing she had to get back, Sarah thanked Richard again for his help, waving goodbye to the older man as she headed back toward the castle, more conscious this time of where she stepped. As she walked, she smiled to herself over her encounter with the kind Dagwood and his gallant son. No one else had even stopped to see if she was all right as she was pushed into the street, and he had run all the way across the square to save her from the horse and its rider’s shouted insults. It made her wish that her world could have maintained a bit of the valiance of this time.

  When she glanced up at the building before her and caught sight of the sign hanging above the door, she stopped abruptly. The commotion in the street and Dagwood’s gentle humor had caused her to forget about Jade and her own doubts, and Sarah was surprised that she had ended up here of all places, though she wondered if she had been unconsciously heading this way the whole time.

  She hesitated just outside the open door, feeling the warmth radiating from inside. Gripping the handle a little tighter, she stepped inside with no purpose in mind. Maybe just seeing his familiar face would alleviate her unreasonable doubt.

  The heat of the building was heaven after the cool air outside, and as the chill left her body, her anxiety began to fade. The sound of metal on metal echoed through the shop, and Sarah followed it around the corner. She found Will bent over an anvil near the fire, skillfully flattening out the tip of an iron rod with a large hammer while Robert shoed a horse at the back of the room.

  Neither man was aware of her presence, so Sarah allowed herself a moment to watch Will. It wasn’t as if she had never seen him at work before. On one rainy afternoon, he had showed her how to work the metal, but she had rarely been allowed to observe him; he was usually the one equipped with the intense stares that bore straight into a person’s soul, determining their character with a single glance. So, she stood there silently and stole a rare moment to watch him unobserved.

  His back was to her as he pounded away, raising the hammer to his shoulder before striking the iron with expert blows. Sarah watched his large, calloused hands rotate the rod after each carefully placed hit—the same hands that had guided her through the castle last night and into the woods.

  As he worked, the muscles in his back moved beneath his shirt, and he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, revealing corded muscles on his forearms. The sight made Sarah think of that moment when he had carried her through the forest, though she had been unconscious at the time. She used to get embarrassed when she thought of him being burdened with her weight as he ran all the way to his uncle’s house, but now the memory caused her to smile. She had found herself a real hero.

  Her smile faded, and she was beginning to feel that she had been staring too long. She was about to clear her throat to alert them of her presence when she glanced over and encountered Robert’s gaze. Her face warmed at being caught, and she forced a friendly smile. Sarah wondered at the slow grin that pulled at the side of Robert’s mouth and caused his eyes to crinkle at the corners. He gave her a chin-up gesture before directing his gaze at Will.

  “Boss,” he said loudly to be heard over the noise in the room. Sarah jumped at the booming noise, nerves a little on-edge. “I think you’ve got company.”

  The hammer stilled against the iron, and Will glanced over his shoulder at her. She lifted a hand in silent greeting and received a smile before he turned back to his work and brought the hammer down on the rod one final time. Will tossed the hammer on a nearby table and used a pair of tongs to place the rod into a bucket of water. The hot metal hissed the instant it connected with the surface of the water, and Will left it there to cool.

  Pushing his left sleeve further up his arm, he gave her the faintest, heart-stopping smile of pleasure she’d ever seen him wear. It only grew as he walked toward her.

  “Hi,” she whispered, forgetting her apprehension over Robert’s presence.

  Will’s smile widened, revealing straight teeth she rarely saw. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

  They heard someone clear their throat and glanced over at Robert as he stood, dusting off his pants. He smiled at the two of them. “Why don’t I go see if Roland is open today, boss? I need to stretch my legs a little and get out of this heat.”

  Will nodded. “Thank you, Robert.” The two seemed to share a look before the blond man edged past them and out into the cold. When Sarah turned back to him, she found Will’s gaze on the cloak she wore. His eyes found hers again, that soft smile in place.

  She quickly glanced down at the fabric, feeling a little awkward with his intense gaze trained on her. He never seemed to realize when he was staring, or maybe it just didn’t matter to him. “Um, yeah. It was really cold last night, so it was nice to have. Thanks.” Her gaze flickered up to meet his then lowered to the floor.

  Sarah racked her brain for her purpose here but was having difficulty with him staring at her like that. She knew exactly how to react to his anger—in kind—but it always threw her off-balance when he let his defenses down long enough for her to really see what he was thinking. And right now his face told her that last night had meant as much to him as it had to her. She hadn’t had enough experience to know how to react to the affection she saw in his eyes and tried to remember why she had come. There had been a reason, and when she remembered, the feelings of blissful romance deflated.

  Will’s smile faded at her expression. “Is something wrong? You look upset.”

  Sometimes it was annoying that he could be so perceptive. “Oh. I had a little run-in with a horseman on my way over. I’m still a little shaken up.” She said it casually, waving her hand in the air to dismiss his worry. It had been the perfect opportunity to broach the subject of her conversation with Jade, but when it came down to it, she couldn’t do it.

  His dark eyes i
mmediately filled with concern. He touched her arm lightly, and his gaze skirted quickly over her body, as though an injury might materialize. “An accident? Were you hurt?”

  Sarah’s mouth turned up at the corners at the worry on his face. This was the Will she knew, her Will—strong, dependable, caring. Not the one Jade’s lies had made her imagine. Any remaining anxiety faded from her body.

  “I’m fine,” she answered. Will nodded slowly and let his hand fall back to his side. She could tell that he wanted to say more on the subject, so she was grateful when he remained silent. She always appreciated his concern, but it made her feel raw and fragile, and she was used to taking care of herself. Granted, she’d gotten stuck in several scrapes that he’d rescued her from, but she didn’t mind playing the part of the fallen damsel so much as she disliked feeling like a completely helpless fool.

  “So,” Will said a little too brightly, obviously sensing her need for independence. “Did you have business around town, or are you just here to see me?”

  Sarah grinned at his teasing tone. “Actually, I was in the neighborhood, but,” she added, almost begrudgingly, “I don’t necessarily mind seeing you.”

  This received a chuckle. It was good to see him in such high spirits. “I feel quite special now. What was your business in town?”

  One of her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I had to run an errand, and I met Dagwood, the produce man, and his son Richard. He’s the one who saved me from becoming a pancake on the road.” She said the words lightly, but still caught the faint wince that crossed Will’s features. She tried to distract him quickly. “I also saw a guard in the square today.”

  He raised his brows at that. “A most unusual occurrence.”

  Sarah laughed. “Well, it wasn’t that strange, but I was following a hunch, okay?”

  He folded his arms across his broad chest, looking completely relaxed as he leaned a hip against the table. “All right. What did you find?”

  She suddenly realized what she had said and hesitated to go on. Will had told her to stay away from Jade, and the neighborhood entirely. But she couldn’t very well expect him to be honest with her when she wasn’t willing to tell him everything. “I, um, I sort of followed him to Jade’s house.”

  Will’s expression remained the same. Actually, it looked frozen in place as he stared at her. Then his mirth ebbed slowly. “What were you doing down there? I thought we talked about this.”

  She told herself to remain calm and explain the situation to him. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I was just following the guy, and I didn’t think there was time to get you, and it was daylight,” she added weakly, then sighed. “I was being foolish, I know. And if it makes you feel any better, I totally regret it after talking with Jade. But I don’t plan to—”

  “You spoke to Jade?” He actually looked startled. “What did she say?”

  Sarah studied his face for a moment, sensing what she understood to be worry. “She was just trying to get me riled. It was stupid—forget about it.”

  Will wrapped his fingers around her arm and bent down so he was at eye level with her. His face looked angry, but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. “Did she say something to insult you?”

  She shook her head, though Jade’s words had been very offensive at the time. “I told you, it doesn’t matter. She was being petty.” His eyes stayed locked on her, waiting, and she rolled her eyes at the absurdity of her conversation with the older woman, almost too embarrassed to voice it aloud. “She was just jealous because she saw us together the other day. And she said”—Sarah looked at the ground, feeling a little ridiculous—“she said that you and her, you know—that I drove you into her arms, which is totally a lie,” she added quickly, daring to look up, hoping for a chuckle to ease the tension she felt building between them. But his expression registered surprise and then hurt—surprised that she had found out and hurt that Jade had betrayed his trust? Sarah swallowed.

  “It is a lie. Isn’t it?” He straightened and averted his gaze, shaking his head at the ground. The movement was so slight that Sarah almost didn’t catch it, but when she did, her apprehension grew.

  “I can’t believe she would . . .” Will’s voice faded, and he shook his head again. When he looked at her, she was sure he saw the growing doubt on her face, or at least heard the tremor in her voice.

  “She was lying, right?” A knot of dread was coiling tightly in her stomach, making it hard to breathe. Her fingers tightened around the basket handle, and she was sure her knuckles had turned white.

  He pulled back a fraction of an inch, as if slapped. He remained silent and folded his arms, jaw tight as he stared back at her. Why didn’t he just tell her Jade was lying and relieve her doubts? She waited for him to deny it—she prayed he would deny it.

  But he just stared at her, expressionless, though his brows drew together ever so slightly. The sight broke Sarah’s heart almost as much as the truth beneath his emotionless façade: He couldn’t deny it because he had promised her long ago that he would never lie to her, so apparently he was deciding not to say anything at all.

  Sarah backed up a step. The action wasn’t intentional, but the realization was too staggering to stand still, and she saw a brief flicker of hurt cross Will’s brow.

  “Oh, God,” Sarah whispered. “You didn’t. . . .” The words hung in the air between them, and her eyes filled with unwanted tears as the silence lengthened. This seemed to break Will’s stony façade, and his eyes registered alarm at her tears.

  “Oh, Sarah,” he said, looking distressed as she hastily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. He reached out to touch her arm. “I’m sorry. Please don’t—”

  Something akin to a strangled whimper was released through Sarah’s closed lips as she jerked away from his fingers. “No,” she said quietly, though it sounded more like a groan of denial in her throat. “Just don’t.” She choked back her tears. She didn’t want him to see her like this, like some pathetically broken creature, and she couldn’t stand to look at the distress and pain in those same eyes she had drowned in so many times before.

  She shook her head, though the action felt half-hearted. “No, I can’t believe you would . . .” She couldn’t even say it. A part of her still wanted desperately to cling to the illusion of the perfect romance with the perfect man, however brief it may have been.

  Feeling sick, her eyes narrowed accusingly to cover her welling hurt, though some of the effect was lost with the tears blurring her vision. “I told her you weren’t that guy—that you would never use a woman that way. I stood up for you. God help me, I had faith in you.” She tried to cover her distress by retreating into defensive anger, but the anguish and betrayal she felt were obvious in her broken words.

  Will’s expression had become increasingly stricken with each word she spoke, and he quickly closed the small distance between them, holding her arms with hands as gentle as his eyes. She so desperately wanted him to deny it, so she didn’t shrink back at his touch but stared up at him expectantly. She was sure her face mirrored the torment brewing in his as she gripped the basket like a lifeline between them. “Sarah, you have to believe me when I say I am truly sorry. There’s no excuse for my actions. I never should have—”

  His apology was the final straw. Sarah wrenched free of his grasp, ignoring his wounded look. She bit her lip to keep from crying and fled for the exit to the sound of Will calling her name. Her vision blurred, and she plowed straight into Robert as he came in through the door.

  “Hold up, now,” he said as he steadied her. He pulled back and all amusement drained from his face when he saw the tears threatening to spill over. “What happened?“

  She could hear Will’s feet pounding against the floor just behind her as he called her name again, sounding as close to panic as she had ever heard him. She pushed against Robert weakly, feeling all the fight leave her body. He released her, though his gaze moved between her and Will as he ran up behind them. She took off down
the street, knowing if she looked back and saw the truth in his face, her heart would break all over again.

  —

  Will stopped in the doorway to his shop and called her name one last time as he watched her disappear into the crowd, catching brief glimpses of her every now and then as she dodged carts and passerby as she fled. From him.

  She never looked back—not once.

  Will swallowed hard and rubbed the stubble on his jaw in frustration. It started to mingle with the fresh anguish coursing through his veins, making his blood feel thick and heavy. He felt as though his veins were moving leaden molasses, weighing him down and pressing him into the earth.

  What had he done? Why had he remained silent? He could have spoken—a lie, the truth, fabricated a story to alleviate her doubts; it didn’t matter. But he should have said something. Her eyes told him that the words weren’t important, and she had only needed for him to tell her it was untrue and that he was there for her. It would have been so simple to ease her mind, but his pride had kept him from speaking, and his silence had only confirmed her doubts.

  “What happened?” He turned to look at his worker, whose eyes were wide.

  Will shook his head, his throat too tight to speak. This was his worst fear come true, why he had told Sarah to stay away from Jade and her jealous moods. He had watched her beautiful, tan face change slowly as her doubt grew. The idea of a tryst between himself and Jade had seemed so absurd to her at first, and then he had watched the fear and hurt cloud her features and knew he had made a mistake in not speaking up. He had lost her trust, perhaps forever.

  “You okay, boss?” Robert asked hesitantly. He looked worried.

  Will gave the slightest of nods, though he knew it was too weak to appear genuine. “I’m fine,” he murmured. But he wasn’t—not in the least. He had seen how her eyes clouded with distrust when he remained silent. Oh, God, her eyes! He squeezed his own closed against the image of her face, though the action didn’t stave off the realization that he had just broken the heart of the only woman he would ever love.