Chasing Shadows

by Ashley Townsend

  Will blinked, surprised. Inquiring after his employer’s feelings had caused Robert some discomfort, but he had asked nonetheless. Will’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, moved by his concern and willingness to listen. Besides his uncle and Sarah, he hadn’t another soul in whom he could confide—certainly not someone who was willing to “share the load” with him, as Robert had put it. For the first time, Will’s eyes were opened to his self-imposed isolation, and he realized how lonely he had become.

  Scrubbing a hand over his face, he growled into his palm, “It’s complicated.”

  “Relationships generally are.” Was that amusement in his voice?

  Will moved his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed madly at the knot there. “It isn’t—it’s not—” He stared blankly at the floor. “As I said, it is rather complicated.”

  “But you love her, right?” Robert sounded certain of the fact, so Will declined to answer. He slanted a look at the younger man, whose lips were beginning to quirk in a sympathetic, knowing way. “When she was here the other day, a blind turtle could have seen the way you looked at her. Pardon me for saying so, but when she left, you looked like a puppy that had been kicked in the sternum. Kind of like you do now, though maybe a little angrier. And jealousy isn’t a great look for you.”

  He received a steady glare, and Robert held up his hands. “Sorry, poor choice of words. What I’m trying to get at is that your defense mechanism is to shut down, but I guarantee if you do that now, you’ll practically be shoving her into the arms of that guy.”

  However oddly worded, the man made some sense. Will forced himself to lower his shoulders and relax. Releasing a strangled breath, he asked, “So what is it that I should be doing? I’ve tried everything to no avail.” He shoved a frustrated hand back through his hair. Was he truly seeking council from his worker?

  Robert scratched his ear, thinking. “Well, have you told her how you feel?”

  Will paused, his fingers caught on a few snarled waves. Lowering his arm with precise calm, he answered evenly, “Perhaps there is one thing I have yet to attempt.”

  Robert shot him an incredulous look. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Well, why don’t you do that? Or if you can’t say it, then show her how you feel. Maybe give her a token of your affection. Girls love that stuff.”

  The wheels in his head were already beginning to turn, but still he was reluctant to bare his heart. “I’m not sure. . . .”

  A shrug. “You can take my advice or leave it. All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t let some slick poser like that”—he hiked his thumb toward the door—“steal her away from me. If you don’t act now, you’ll lose her for sure. And trust me, lost love sticks with you forever.”

  The man clearly spoke from experience as his face clouded, but Will could tell it was a closed subject.

  Trepidation, excitement, and acute fear collided in his veins, but he was not turning back this time. Will nodded slowly, a determined gesture. He clapped his employee on the shoulder, grateful for the man’s advice, however unorthodox it might be. “Thank you, Robert.”

  The blond man grinned before turning his gaze to the fireplace. They watched the flames dance for a solid minute when Will felt eyes on him. He turned and caught Robert’s amused gaze.

  “I was thinking now, sir.”

  “Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” Will moved in the direction of the door.

  “And, Taylor?”

  He glanced over his shoulder. Robert nodded once, and the gesture was full of confidence. “You’ll get the girl. The good guy always does.”

  Will sucked in a breath, hoping to muster the assurance that the other man seemed to possess, but he was far less confident in the outcome.

  ****

  He replayed his speech in his head as he walked, but his mind went blank the closer he came to the castle walls. His palms were beginning to sweat despite the chill in the air, and he swiped a hand hastily down the side of his trousers. He was behaving like a nervous youth coming to court a princess, but he was unable to shake his apprehension. Now or never, had been Robert’s meaning. One opportunity to make things right.

  He was going to be ill.

  Hesitating for a brief moment outside the castle gate, Will ducked his head and went around the long way. Not wanting to vilify Sarah’s reputation by coming in through the front gate, he decided to make his way along the outer wall that bordered the forest. It would be easy enough to slip inside via one of the concealed entrances he had discovered as a child.

  He moved close to the stones to keep from being spotted by the guards patrolling the parapet walk atop the wall. His anticipation and apprehension increasing with each hurried step, Will lengthened his strides, desperate to put an end to this wait yet also wary of an unsatisfactory outcome.

  As he neared the west end of the castle, the lively and incessant sounds coming from the square ebbed until he could pick up the faint sound of a woman’s unintelligible shout ahead of him. Pulse quickening, Will paused out of habit, listening intently as he tried to discern the location of the noise. His uncle Thomas had taught him quite a few things about hunting and scouting when Will was a boy, and the older man had frequently stressed the importance of patience and precision, saying that they could mean the difference between hunting and being hunted.

  Though he’d loathed hunting as a youth, Will was later grateful for his uncle’s instruction: remaining unseen had been necessary in his past endeavors as the Shadow, and, though not as essential, he was grateful for that skill now.

  However, when muted laughter came from the same direction, Will dismissed the noises for the moment, heart rate returning to normal, as he focused on the sound of footsteps above. He closed his eyes, lips moving silently as he counted each footfall. Even Will admitted to himself that his actions were a bit extreme, but instinct and past experience had taught him to rely on the shadows, and he preferred to remain unseen. Satisfied that the guard had passed overhead, Will dashed into the trees before the next sentry spotted him and asked why he was snooping around the castle.

  Keeping near the forest’s edge, Will picked his way through the trees, his ears constantly attune to his surroundings. The noises coming from the heart of town were all but extinct, and the only accompanying sounds were that of the snow crunching beneath his boots and the throaty laugh of a man that carried over the crisp air to Will’s ears. Now he was sure there were two of them.

  It would be easy enough to outwait the couple, though he wasn’t sure if his patience could hold out that long as his eagerness to see Sarah grew with each agitated footfall. He watched the outer wall disappear at the back and knew he had only a little further to go before the forest expanded to his right to curve around the small clearing behind the castle. Will’s eyes scanned the open area, searching for the jovial couple, if they were still there. The clearing appeared devoid of life, so he stepped carefully from the covering of the woods, gaze constantly shifting as he moved further into the open. He froze in his tracks when he spotted the man and woman in what appeared to be a lover’s embrace.

  In a flash, Will retreated to move behind the corner of the wall and flattened himself against it. The gentleman’s voice was an indiscernible murmur, and he didn’t appear to have spotted the man that lurked in the shadows. Instead of simply approaching the couple like a traditional human being, Will eyed the trees longingly, counting the number of paces to the forest’s edge. In a few brief seconds, he could be enveloped in the cover of the trees, and they would be none the wiser.

  He had just pushed off the wall when the woman spoke. Will’s eyes snapped to the couple as she pulled back from the man, though his arms remained around her waist. Will was some distance from them, but the auburn hair that framed her tan features were so familiar that it left little room to question.

  Sarah folded her arms across her chest, and from this distance, it appeared to him that she was being held against her will. The man leaned his face down so their noses near
ly touched. Will’s muscles tensed as his blood turned to fire. Clenching his fists at his side, he took three steps forward, ready to fight. But then Sarah’s face broke into a grin, and she took off at a run, laughing as she went. If he wasn’t certain of her identity before, the familiar sound that floated back to his hiding place left no doubt.

  Will jerked to a halt, frozen in surprise at her sudden gaiety. The fellow, who he assumed was the infamous Lord Lisandro, chuckled as he ran after her. Will was sickened to realize that the scoundrel kept up the chase for longer than necessary as they tossed snow at one another. He was contemplating bursting in on their little game before the Spaniard got any ideas into his head when Lisandro caught her around the waist, which caused him to lose his balance. Sarah shrieked as they tumbled to the snow, with her landing on the man’s chest.

  Will’s fist balled again, and he felt the delicate stem snap in his grasp. He slowly uncurled his fingers to stare at the offended flower that he had searched so hard to find in the snow. He felt a moment’s sadness that he had ruined such a perfect specimen and glanced up at its intended recipient, almost expecting her to have noticed that he’d ruined the gift.

  But, no. Sarah had propped herself up on the Spaniard’s chest, and his arms tightened around her. Will could not see her face from his vantage point, but the man beneath her was grinning broadly as he lifted his head. Will understood the look on the Spaniard’s face; he didn’t like it one bit.

  His first instinct was a quick-boiling rage that filled him with the desire to rip the man out from under her and slam him against the wall until he could no longer remember his own ridiculous name—a thought that momentarily delighted Will. He had even advanced an unconscious step during their spill, preparing to reveal himself and invoke serious harm on the man if Sarah showed even the minutest sign of struggle.

  But the longer it took her to pull away from Lisandro, the more the fight drained out of him. Robert’s words came to mind about moving quickly, and Will was struck with the painful realization that he was staring at the result of his own lack of haste. Sarah’s previous laughter echoed through his head, and he was forced to acknowledge the possibility that she would be better off with the Spaniard.

  As much as Will wanted to spend the remainder of his days with her, what right did he have to impose his meager life upon her? She deserved a man with Lisandro’s position, someone she could be proud of and a man of influence who could give her all that she desired—wealth, standing . . . love.

  He just hoped the Spaniard would someday be worthy of her.

  Will looked again at the broken flower. It had seemed so lovely and pure when he had found it before, but now it looked small and plain and perfectly broken compared to the vibrant rose Damien had given her. When considered side-by-side, there was no contest between the two. The gifts of a lowly blacksmith could never compare, nor could the man, who had nothing of true worth to give except the love in his heart.

  But it would never be enough.

  His eyes drifted toward them again, willing them to separate, longing for her to look his way. But Lisandro’s arms were still tight around her middle, that obnoxious grin stretching across his too-brown face. Sarah didn’t appear to be struggling for freedom.

  Quickly averting his gaze, Will squared his jaw at the forest, as though it were personally challenging him to let go of the one thing he had been desperately clinging to. His mind made up to do one truly selfless thing with his life, he slowly tipped his hand, and the daisy—the emblem of a fruitless hope—slipped from his grasp and floated softly to the snow. His throat burned, and he loathed the ironic symbolism of the flower as it lay there, its petals pristine but its stem bent at an awkward angle where his fingers had crushed it. It too closely resembled the broken relationship between Sarah and himself to offer him comfort. But it was just as well that the flower was ruined.

  He wouldn’t be needing it, after all.

  Inhaling deeply, he allowed one final glance at what would never be before quickly dragging his gaze away before he caused himself more undue harm. And then he did the one thing he had sworn he’d never do again after she came back to him that day.

  He walked away and did not look back.

  ****

  Sarah pulled back from Damien, laughing at their clumsiness. He chuckled and leaned his head up to grin at her.

  “Well, that was delightful,” he said, arms tightening about her waist when she tried to pull back. “Shall we play again?”

  “Damien,” she admonished, a little breathless. From their fall, of course. “You can let me go now.”

  He grinned unrepentantly, though he tried to look innocent. “Oh, I’m quite comfortable as I am, if you don’t mind.”

  “And if I do mind?” she asked dryly.

  His chest rose and fell with a regretful sigh. “Well, then I suppose I would have to be a gentleman and relinquish my comfort for yours.”

  Sarah waited. He watched her in silence. “Uh, I’d like for you to let me go.”

  Damien’s brows shot up. “Oh! You meant this instant. Of course!” He helped her stand while Sarah rolled her eyes at him—the man was ridiculous! But she could never seem to hide her smile when she was around him, however absurd his actions.

  Rustling sounded near the forest’s edge. She squinted to make out the tiny shadow hopping along the ground away from them. “Was that a rabbit?” she asked curiously, though it was too far away to tell.

  Damien grinned. “Shall we investigate?”

  Slipping her arm through his, she nodded eagerly.

  They wandered the yard, edging closer to the trees. Sarah’s gaze scanned the ground, searching for tracks. Her eyes landed on a white print in the snow, and she broke away from Damien and jogged over to it, expecting to find an animal’s trail veering off into the forest. But as she neared, the yellow and white colors of the flower became more distinct. Damien came up behind her as she stooped to collect it from the snow. The daisy bowed over as she held it up.

  “Oh, it’s broken.” She frowned, showing Damien the severed stem. It was still beautiful, but it flopped around uselessly without support. “Where did it come from?” she asked him, rubbing her thumb over one of the pristine petals.

  Damien shrugged. “It must be wild.”

  “Hmm.” It was damaged, but Sarah was somewhat reluctant to toss it away. It seemed a shame to leave it behind, but it wasn’t like she had need of a broken flower. She placed it gingerly on the ground, exactly where it had been, and dusted off her hands.

  “So!” Damien exclaimed as they walked back toward the castle. “What say you to supper?”

  She looked up at him incredulously. “It’s the middle of the afternoon, if you hadn’t noticed.”

  He took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm, rubbing his palm over it gently to generate warmth. The gesture wasn’t lost on her, and she felt heat spread through her chest that she was sure had nothing to do with their exertions.

  Damien smiled down at her, and the corners of his eyes crinkled in pleasure. “Ah, ever the witty beauty. Actually, I was referring to this evening. I dine with the family every Saturday, or more often if I am able, and would like you to come as my guest.”

  Sarah swallowed nervously. “Your family?” She hadn’t thought he had any left, except for his estranged father.

  He looked surprised. “No, the royals. The nobles join them for the evening meal, a chance for all present to bow and flatter the egos of those of higher rank and standing. It is extremely tedious and dull, but it is expected.” He sounded bored just talking about it, but Sarah had already zoned out.

  “Will the entire royal family be there?”

  Damien’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Yes, they all generally attend.” He met her gaze, and he looked suddenly unsure of himself. “So, would you accompany me?”

  A thrill of nervous excitement drove through her veins, and she suppressed a shiver of anticipation and fear at the possibility of coming
face-to-face with the king’s murderer. “Yes, I’d love to come.”

  His expressive eyes brightened. “Wonderful! With your company, this evening will be most interesting.”

  He had no idea.

  ~Chapter 24~

  “When is he coming for you?” Edith asked as she rifled through the wardrobe for a proper gown to attend supper in.

  Sarah reflexively glanced outside to check the evening sun, but it was already dark; not having a watch left her at a serious disadvantage. “Um, I think din—supper—is in an hour, and he said he’d get me a few minutes before. Don’t worry,” she assured, misunderstanding Edith’s fidgety movements. “We have plenty of time to get ready.”

  Edith emerged from the wardrobe with an elegant purple gown draped over her outstretched arms. Sarah turned back to the foggy looking glass that had been brought in earlier and was practicing piling her hair on top of her head when Edith muttered, “I care not for his patience.” The intensity in her words caused Sarah to drop her hair and spin around to face the older woman. Her expression was troubled, and a line had appeared between her knit brows.

  Edith’s movements were stiff as she placed the gown on the edge of the bed and smoothed it out to prevent it from wrinkling. She turned around and caught Sarah’s mouth agape before she snapped it closed.

  Expelling a heavy breath, Edith came up behind her and motioned for Sarah to face the mirror again. Deft fingers combed through her waves and mechanically arranged them at the back of her head. Sarah remained silent as she stared at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. From Edith’s strong reaction, something heavy burned her mind; she wasn’t one to overreact.

  Edith tugged playfully on a strand of her hair, and Sarah glanced up at the older woman’s reflection in the mirror. The smile Edith gave her was small but filled with warmth. “Your face gives too much away, my dear.” Her smile fell away. “Forgive me for reacting so harshly just then. My issue was not with you, and I am sorry if it seemed that way.”