Heinous Habits!

by Anna Celeste Burke

  I got my answer. It came in the form of a loud snort. Not quietus. A deeper state of meditation otherwise known as sleep. I tried not to make matters worse as I stole another sidelong glance at my handsome, blond husband. He was shaking off sleep, gazing out at the surface of the Pacific Ocean now cast in the golden glow of sunrise. Suddenly, he went on alert, staring intently at the horizon.

  I followed his gaze, trying to see what had caught his eye. Nothing. My Brien, though, has eagle-eyes—better than twenty-twenty vision. Before I could say a word, an alarm went off. Bede Greco had set it for thirty minutes to alert us when that our meditation had come to an end.

  In a flash, Brien was up on his feet. Dressed in a wetsuit, he didn’t stop to put on his booties but ran in his bare feet for the water. Along the way, Brien grabbed his longboard and plunged into the surf. His muscular arms bulged as he propelled himself through the water.

  “He’s in a hurry to catch that first wave, isn’t he? It must have been an inspired meditation.”

  “Or a darn good dream,” I muttered in reply to Bede’s comment. In no time flat, Brien had pushed beyond the point at which the waves begin to swell. That’s where we surfers usually sit and wait in what we call a “line-up,” trying to determine the right moment to take off and ride the waves. A ride that if you’re more skilled than I am, can carry you all the way to shore.

  When Brien kept moving, plunging through the water as hard and fast as I’d ever seen him move, I went on alert. “What is that?” I asked, pointing in the direction in which Brien was moving, drive as if some devil of the deep were on his heels.

  “I’m not sure,” Bede responded. “Something’s moving out there. It’s out in the open just beyond the point where the boats anchor or make their way into the marina.”

  “Maybe someone fell off a boat,” I speculated.

  “I don’t see a boat anywhere, do you?”

  “No,” I replied anxiously watching Brien as he kept going. I ran into the water, as far as I could go before the waves lifted my feet from the ground. Then I gasped and shouted to Bede. “It’s a dog! There’s a dog in the water, swimming for its life!”

  With that, Bede ran for it, grabbed his surfboard and paddled after Brien. He was never going to catch up with him. I wasn’t even going to try. Instead, I made my way back onto the beach, ran to the spot where my board stood planted upright in the sand. I dug up the bag we had buried nearby, aiming to hide our valuables during a morning surf that would have followed our meditation. That bag contained our cellphones. I grabbed my phone and called security.

  “Big Al,” I hollered into the phone. “It’s Kim.” Big Al must have been caught in a moment deep meditation. His voice was groggy.

  “What? Who?”

  “Big Al, we’re on the beach, and we’ve got an emergency, I think. Maybe.”

  “Gidget, is that you?”

  “Yes. Brien and Bede have gone out into the water—way, way out. Brien’s like this tiny little speck. He’s trying to rescue a dog in the middle of nothing and nowhere!”

  “A dog? Are you sure?”

  “Yes. At least I’m pretty sure I’m sure. Can you get us some medical help down here at the beach in case we need it?”

  “For the dog?”

  “I hope that’s the only one who’s going to need it.” I took another look. My he-man built like Chris Hemsworth in that Thor movie was barely recognizable as a man in the vast glittering Pacific Ocean.

  “Got it. I’ll call the lifeguard office on the boardwalk. Someone should be setting things up in there. If not, I’ll go grab the rescue equipment myself.”

  “Thanks,” I said as I hung up and then picked up a backpack that contained towels, water, and protein bars. Feeling useless, I gathered the items and walked to the water’s edge. Then my heart skipped a beat. This time, though, it was as if a bolt of joy had hit it. Brien had turned around and was paddling his surfboard back toward the beach. Bede was about halfway between Brien and the shore.

  Not bad for an old guy, I thought. Not that I’d say that aloud to him. Partly because at Bede’s not that old. Also, because in my twenties, I had no reason to be smug. I was in no shape to keep up with the man. Since marrying Brien six months ago, I’d turned over a new leaf and had started working out. An act of marital devotion initially, I now looked forward to improving my physical condition. To be honest, some of that was about not embarrassing myself at the beach since, in addition to coaxing me into the gym, Moondoggie had taught me to surf.

  As Brien got closer to the shore, I could see a dark splotch on his surfboard. That dog was lying there. Motionless. Suddenly, there was plenty of motion around me. The lifeguards had arrived, running from the direction of the shops and offices on the boardwalk that bordered the beach and led to the marina.

  Behind me, more commotion sprang up as Big Al came to a noisy stop in his golf cart that also carried a couple of the Security Associates who work for him. I quickly explained to the circle of men now surrounding me what had happened. Bede had caught up with Brien, and the two men were steadily making their way toward shore. One of the lifeguards dropped equipment into a small dinghy.

  “Can I go with you?” I asked still clutching the backpack.

  “Sure,” he said. I climbed into the dinghy that he and a fellow lifeguard launched. When they started the tiny motor, we sped toward Brien and Bede, bouncing through the waves reaching them quickly.

  “Want a tow?” the lifeguard shouted as we drew close to Brien.

  “Can you check this guy, first?” He asked. The wet, furry pooch lying on the front end of Brien’s board didn’t move or make a sound. Bede slid off his surfboard into the water which rose and fell with the gentle swells where now were—back close to that “lineup.”

  “Is he drowned?” I asked dreading the answer as Bede ran his hands over the wet dog.

  “No. The poor dog has got to be cold and exhausted, but it’s breathing.” Brien, Bede, and one of the lifeguards in the dinghy carefully transferred the dog—a dark, brown dog, that looked much bigger as they moved him. I wrapped him in towels and began to rub him gently, trying to dry him off.

  “Is it a poodle? The build is a lot like Anastasia’s,” I asked not sure to whom I was even speaking.

  “I don’t think so,” Brien responded, resting his head on his board.

  “Here,” I commanded. “Eat this!” I handed a protein bar to Brien.

  “Portuguese Water Dog,” Bede said in response to my previous question. He hoisted himself up back onto his board. Without asking, I handed Bede a protein bar, too. A lifeguard in the dinghy with me was examining the dog as I went back to rubbing the beast more briskly with towels. Was that dog dying right before my eyes? I gasped with happiness when the dog whined, opened its eyes a bit, and licked my hand.

  “Good dog,” I murmured.

  “Lucky for him, Portuguese Water Dogs are excellent swimmers,” Bede commented as we all oriented ourselves toward the beach.

  “Big Al’s called the vet that responds to problems with guest’s pets at the resort. The vet is on her way. Let’s get him back to shore so she can have a look at him. My guess is she’s going to want to take him to the San Albinus Animal Hospital. He must be a strong guy to be alive. It’s a ‘he,’ by the way.”

  “Lucky, too, since Brien spotted him during morning meditation with his eyes downcast,” Bede said smirking.

  “It’s a miracle,” I said only half-kidding.

  “Grab this, Brien. You’ve worked enough miracles for one day.” Brien held onto the towline as he clasped his board. Bede took off paddling to catch a wave back to the beach.

  “Have you guys heard anything about a rescue operation by the Coast Guard?” I asked as we made the short trip back to shore.

  “Not a word. I asked Big Al that question, too. No reports of boats in trouble, lost cargo, passengers, or dogs. Maybe he’s got a microchip, and the vet can trace his owners.”

  “It’s go
ing to have to remain a mystery, for now, I guess. Where did you come from?” I asked. This time when I spoke the sweet pooch flopped his tail up and down a couple of times.

  To be continued…

  AUTHOR’S NOTES

  Fact or fiction?

  Heinous Habits is a work of fiction featuring characters that I’ve made up. Some of the history in this book is true, but I’ve taken license with that, here and there, too.

  Did they use bat guano to make gunpowder? Yes! Did that prolong the Civil War in the U.S.? Most likely. Who knew?

  Was there a Catholic mystic by the name of Charles de Foucauld? Yes, and the background about his adventurous life is real. Was he killed after fleeing to Tamanrasset? Yes. Did he leave behind a buried treasure of mysterious artifacts near the Assekrem hermitage where he lived before his death? No. He did write Reconnaissance in Morocco and several other books. Others have been written about him based on letters and journals he kept.

  More well-known than Charles de Foucauld, the stories, and legends of the Knights Templar are evident in historical writings and popular culture. The basic information presented here about them has been written elsewhere in much greater detail. A controversial order that originated during the era of the Crusades, they later came under a great deal scrutiny and were eventually disbanded. Fact: ‘God is not pleased. We have enemies of the faith in the Kingdom’ are the opening lines of a warrant issued on October 13, 1307, by King Philip IV of France ordering the arrest of French Knights Templar.

  Legends about the Knights Templar, the occult powers they supposedly commanded, and objects they claimed while at Al-Aqsa Mosque which was assumed to stand on the site of Solomon's Temple have not completely disappeared. Those legends include beliefs that the Knights Templar did not disband but went underground and continued to exist. Others contend that members of the Knights Templar infiltrated and influenced the Masons, the Jesuits, the so-called Illuminati, and various secret societies. From behind the scenes, the Knights Templar still influence contemporary events as far as many conspiracy theorists believe. Fact or fiction? Fiction as far as mainstream scholars and religious authorities are concerned.

  It’s also true that The Chinon Parchment was discovered in the Vatican archives in 2001 revealing that Pope Clement V had absolved the Knights Templar of charges of heresy in 1308. Had that document been made known, it might have stopped the burning at the stake of the last Grand Master, and other high-ranking members of the Knights Templar, in 1314.

  The Jesuit order, known officially as the Society of Jesus, has also been subject of controversy within the Catholic Church and without. It’s true that many members of this order are also scholars and serve as professors as well as priests. The order founded in the 16th century underwent a period of suppression in the 18th century. Fact: during their repression, Jesuits were expelled from South and Central America as told in this story.

  Did a small, disobedient group move north to found the hermitage that later became the St. Albinus Monastery at Corsario Cove? No. Corsario Cove, the monastery, caves, and mad monk myths in the fictional town of San Albinus are yarns I’ve spun for you!

  I hope you’ve found these flights of fancy enjoyable and that you’ll come back for more novels in the Corsario Cove Cozy Mystery series. Kim and Brien are moving to San Albinus and will be working at The Sanctuary Resort & Spa in Radical Regatta, Corsario Cove Cozy Mystery #4. Will Twitchin’ Mitchum be forced to admit Kim & Brien are more than mere knuckleheads? After all, they’ve been instrumental in solving half a dozen crimes already! He’s going to need their help when boats arrive in Corsario Cove from around the world for a series of high-stakes boat races bringing murder and mayhem with them. The first sign of trouble: Brien spots a dog swimming for its life out in deep water—no boat in sight. Can he reach the dog in time to save its life? Why is a dog, alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, not far from Corsario Cove? Coming soon…the rest of the story!

  COOKIE RECIPES

  Triple Ginger Snap Cookies

  (Makes about 18 cookies)

  Ingredients:

  2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

  2 teaspoons baking soda

  1/2 teaspoon salt

  2 teaspoons ground ginger

  1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

  ¾ cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter

  1 cup packed brown sugar

  1/4 cup molasses

  1 1/2 tablespoons finely grated fresh ginger (from 2-inch piece peeled ginger root)

  1 large egg

  1/2 cup finely chopped crystalized ginger

  granulated sugar, for rolling

  Directions:

  In a large bowl, cream together the butter and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the egg and molasses. Combine the flour, ground ginger, baking soda, and salt; stir into the molasses mixture using a wooden spoon. Mix in the fresh and crystallized gingers. Cover, and refrigerate dough for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Shape dough into 1 inch balls, roll in granulated sugar, and place about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet. Makes about 18 cookies.

  Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly browned. Cool on wire racks.

  Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies

  (Makes 24 cookies)

  Ingredients:

  1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter

  4 ounces good-quality unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped

  1 cup packed light brown sugar

  1/2 cup granulated sugar

  2 teaspoons Mexican vanilla or regular vanilla extract

  2 large eggs, room temperature

  1 cup all-purpose flour

  1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

  1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

  1 teaspoon chili powder

  1/2 teaspoon baking soda

  1/2 teaspoon sea salt

  1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

  1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

  Directions:

  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

  In a heatproof bowl set over simmering water, melt the butter and chocolate together, whisking until glossy and smooth. Set aside and allow the chocolate mixture to cool to room temperature.

  With a hand mixer, beat the brown sugar, granulated sugar, vanilla extract and eggs on low speed until thoroughly blended. Pour in the cooled chocolate and continue to mix until the ingredients are evenly distributed.

  In a medium bowl, mix together the dry ingredients: flour, cocoa powder, cinnamon, chili powder, baking soda, salt and cayenne pepper.

  Add the dry ingredients to the chocolate batter in thirds and mix on low speed until combined and no visible flour remains. Fold in the chocolate chips.

  Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper. Scoop 12 balls of dough, about 1 1/2 tablespoon each, and place about three inches apart on a sheet pan. Do the same with the second sheet pan. Bake the cookies, one pan at a time, for approximately 10 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through. The cookies should still be a little soft when removed from the oven.

  Transfer the cookies, still on the parchment paper, to a wire cooling rack. Let cookies cool completely. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 week. These are at their best the day they are made!

  *Modified from a recipe at: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/spicy-mexican-hot-chocolate-cookies-1962907

  Caramel Stuffed Chocolate Snickerdoodles

  (Makes 18-24 cookies, depending on their size)

  Ingredients:

  2 cups all-purpose flour

  1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (choose a high-quality with 22-24% fat. I prefer non-Dutch process)

  1 teaspoon baking soda

  1 teaspoon cream of tartar

  2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

  1/2 teaspoon sea salt

  1 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

  1 cup packed brown sugar

  1/2 cup granulated sugar

  1 teaspoon v
anilla extract

  1 egg

  1 egg yolk

  24 soft caramels, unwrapped

  For rolling the cookies:

  1/4 cup granulated sugar

  1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

  Directions:

  Mix the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, cream of tartar, cinnamon and salt. Set aside.

  In a separate bowl, use an electric mixer or use a food processor to cream together butter and sugars until light and fluffy, about 1 minute. Add in vanilla, egg and egg yolk; blend again until smooth and creamy; about 30 seconds longer. Add dry ingredients and mix on low until just combined and the dough forms. Transfer the bowl the fridge and refrigerate the dough for at least 20 minutes.

  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a shallow bowl, mix together sugar and cinnamon. Set aside.

  Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Use a cookie scoop to grab about 2 tablespoons of dough, then flatten and put a caramel in the middle of the dough; roll dough around the caramel into a ball (make sure none of the caramel is showing). Roll dough balls into the cinnamon sugar mixture and place on cookie sheet, at least 2 inches apart. Do not flatten!

  Bake for about 10 minutes or until edges begin to crackle and brown a tiny bit.

  Remove and allow cookies to cool for a few minutes on the baking sheet before transferring to a wire rack to finish cooling.

  *based on a recipe found at: http://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/2016/12/salted-caramel-stuffed-chocolate-snickerdoodles/