Then I asked just loud enough for him to hear me, “Have you heard any more from that McClintock guy?”
“No,” Thane replied just as quietly. “I think my message got through.”
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to mess with Thane Adair while he was in scary, protective Dad mode. “Good.”
A few seconds passed. “Jared McCulloch. Really?”
At his sneering tone, I stiffened. “What does that mean?”
“It means”—he turned to me, his eyes glinting with hard irritation—“I already warned you he’s slept with every woman from here to Inverness.”
“I’m not looking for marriage, Thane. I just gave the guy my number.”
A growling sound rumbled from the back of his throat. “You’re better than that.”
My spine straightened. “Better than what?”
“Casual sex with a most likely disease-ridden farmer.”
I gaped at him. He sounded like a pretentious, elitist prick. “You don’t think he’s good enough?”
“No, he’s not,” he hissed, leaning too close. “And not because he’s a farmer but because he’s a silly wee fuck boy.” His eyes darkened to smoke. “Definitely not the man you said you wanted.”
Was he jealous?
After the angst we’d just been through and promised to get over, he was dragging us back into it. Robyn was right. I so wanted to junk-punch him. Shaking my head in disbelief, I walked away before I said something I’d regret. “I’ll wait in the car.”
THANE
* * *
Watching Eilidh fall asleep in her bed, Thane stood and finally allowed himself to think about what the hell he was doing. As he walked quietly from her room toward Lewis’s, he berated himself for how the afternoon had turned out.
After his discussion with Regan this morning, he was the one who had thrown out the mixed signals again. But every time he thought he had a handle on his attraction, some little thing pushed him over the edge. The way she was with Eilidh and Lewis, always taking care of them, consciously and subconsciously, proving they were constantly on her mind.
What father wouldn’t appreciate that in a woman?
Her thoughtfulness at the falconry display, realizing he was looking forward to sharing that with Lewis. And teaching Eilidh to be considerate, teaching her that some things would not be about her so that she realized as she got older, if she loved her family, she’d be content with putting them first when needed.
And Regan’s sense of humor and how Eilidh had only gotten wittier since Regan had come along. Learning from her in ways Thane didn’t mind at all.
The way Lewis was opening up from that serious, shy boy he’d been before her arrival. How much happier he seemed.
Then there were the things he noticed as a man.
The way he and Regan looked at each other and seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking.
The way her body was aware of him, how her back slightly arched whenever he got too close, causing her breasts to push up, her arse to push out. She didn’t even realize she was doing it, the movement was so subtle. But Thane was aware. Aware of the way her eyes dropped to his mouth as often as his lowered to hers.
He wanted her.
Even knowing how wrong it was, how complicated, how it would be construed by everyone else as something sordid and indecent, Thane wanted Regan Penhaligon, and he didn’t know how to make it stop without pushing her out of their lives completely.
And he’d been seething with jealousy ever since Eilidh let it out of the bag that Regan had given her number to Jared McCulloch.
Peeking into Lewis’s room, he was surprised to see his son’s light out. Lew was asleep. Usually, he waited for Thane to come and say good night.
That meant returning downstairs already.
To where Regan had insisted on cleaning up the kitchen after a night of showing him and the kids how to make homemade pizza to end their day of “celebrations.” It was so good, and the kids loved it so much, Thane was considering getting an outside pizza oven.
Of course, it would have been an even better night if Regan wasn’t so pissed off she couldn’t even talk to him. He knew Lewis had noticed because he’d grown quieter as the night wore on.
Damn it.
Reaching in to close his son’s door, Lewis’s voice stopped him.
“Dad.”
“Hey, bud, thought you were sleeping.” He crept into the room.
In the light spill from the hallway, Thane watched his son turn to look at him—and he was glowering.
Uh-oh.
“What is it, Lew?”
“Ree-Ree seems mad at you.”
Thane tensed. “We’re fine, buddy.”
“You were mad at her, and now she’s mad at you.”
Christ, his seven-year-old was too perceptive. “No, we’re good, Lew.”
His son glared harder. “She’s going to go away. And it’s your fault.” His voice broke as he buried his head in his pillow.
Oh, fucking hell. Rounding the bed, Thane sat down and placed a hand on Lewis’s shoulder. His son pushed his face deeper into the pillow.
“Lew, Regan and I are friends. She’s not going away. Not just yet. But you know, wee man, that she’s your nanny. She’s not part of the family,” he reminded him gently, even as each word caused an ache in his chest. “You have to be prepared for that.”
Lewis took a shuddering breath and turned to look at him. Thane’s heart broke at the sadness in his son’s eyes. “Why do people always have to leave?”
No, Thane was wrong. Now his heart fucking broke. He’d never wanted his children to have the childhood he had. To lose their mother.
Determined that when Fran died, he wouldn’t crumble like his own father had, he’d poured every ounce of his soul into fatherhood. Thane had thought he was doing not too bad a job, but the ordeal with Lucy, perhaps his handling of it, seemed to remind Lewis of loss. Not for him—Lew had never really taken to Lucy (Thane should have seen that as a warning sign)—but for his wee sister who’d thought the actress hung the moon and the sun. Thane was only grateful that his daughter was resilient and had been quick to transfer her affection to Regan.
“I don’t want you to think that,” Thane whispered, lying down beside Lewis to tuck him into his arms. He burrowed into his dad, and Thane held him tighter. “Not everyone leaves, Lew. I’m not going anywhere. Neither is Uncle Lachlan or Aunt Arrochar, or Aunt Robyn and Uncle Mac.” He didn’t mention Brodan or Arran. They’d grown too unpredictable for him to make any promises on their behalf. The reminder agitated him.
“What about Ree-Ree? She’s Aunt Robyn’s sister. Why can’t she stay?”
Thane exhaled slowly, feeling the loss of her already. “Because she’s young, Lew. She’s got her whole life ahead of her. She needs to go off and experience the world a bit before she settles down. Not to mention, her parents live in America. Her life is back there.”
And there it was.
The truth.
No matter her attraction to him, Thane knew that no twenty-five-year-old would want to settle down in a remote Scottish village with a man thirteen years her senior and play mum to his two children. Christ, Fran hadn’t wanted it, and she’d chosen it.
“I want her to stay,” Lewis whispered sadly.
“I know, buddy. But try not to think about her leaving. It’s not for a while yet. And she’s here now. Just enjoy having her with us for now, okay?”
Lewis nodded, but Thane knew he didn’t understand. How could he? All he knew was that a woman he cared about because she so obviously cared about him was temporary. And that made little sense to a boy who was raised on the belief that his mother loved him and hadn’t wanted to leave him and if it had been up to her, she never would have.
Knowing his son was going to take Regan’s leaving as proof she didn’t love him, Thane squeezed his eyes closed, tightened his hold on Lewis, and stayed with him until he fell asleep.
However, the lon
ger he lay there, the more he stewed. Lewis wouldn’t have fallen asleep with tears in his eyes if Regan had treated Thane with civility and professionalism tonight. Yes, he’d been a prick at Morag’s, and he’d admit it, but she couldn’t act like that around the kids. They were too perceptive, and she should know that by now.
Unfortunately for her, when he came downstairs, she was still there.
Heat licked through him at the sight of her in her prim little dress with its not-so-prim fucking hemline. As she bent over to load the last of the dishes into the dishwasher, he caught a flash of her arse. Sadly, the thick tights she wore covered it.
She stood and shut the washer, not looking at him as she wiped down the sink. “I had a hard time getting the flour out of the couch. I don’t know how it got over there. But I got it. I cleaned everything up.” Regan threw down a dish towel and grabbed her purse off the stool at the island. “I’ll see you Monday.” Finally, she looked at him as he refused to move from her path.
Her eyes widened at whatever she read in his expression. “Are the kids okay? You were up there awhile.”
Seething, he licked his lips and took his time so he didn’t lash out at her. “You cannot give me the cold shoulder in front of the children.”
Regan narrowed her pretty eyes. “I didn’t.”
“You did. Lewis picked up on it.”
Guilt flickered across her features. “Is he okay?”
“No.” Thane took a step toward her and another as she retreated. “He’s worried about you leaving.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yet. He needs to be prepared that you’ll eventually leave. But until then,” he said, bowing his head toward her as the island forced her to stop, “I expect a civil tongue.” His gaze dipped to her mouth, and his hands clenched at his sides. “In a civil mouth … from now on. At least in front of them.”
She jutted her chin stubbornly. “Does that mean you’re going to stop acting like a crazy person?”
“Excuse me?” he bit out.
“You … did we or did we not have a discussion this morning that cleared the air, only for you to act like a jealous ass over Jared McCulloch?”
“Just like you were jealous over the idea of me sleeping with Keelie.”
She grimaced. “And round we go again. Just admit that Keelie was a ploy. You were never going to sleep with her. You’re too much of a gentleman.”
The damn woman had a way of pushing him to the boiling point with very little effort. And for some reason, it pricked his damn male pride that Regan saw him as some buttoned-up, controlled, gentlemanly figure. If only she knew.
He leaned into her, their mouths almost touching, and she inhaled sharply. “How do you know I didn’t sleep with her? A man has needs.”
Hurt flickered in her eyes, but she buried it beneath fire. That he could deal with. She pushed against his chest to move him, but he pressed deeper into her personal space.
“Did you sleep with her?” she demanded.
“No,” he immediately admitted.
Satisfaction lit her expression, and then something more dangerous. “No, because sleeping with any woman would just be an attempt to screw away your problem.”
“And what problem is that?” he asked gruffly, heat pooling in his groin.
“That you can’t stop thinking about me,” Regan whispered, lowering her hand from his chest but only so she could move her body into his. He swallowed hard at the feel of her soft curves. Her breathing hitched. “We can go around and around in circles for days, weeks … but it won’t chase this away, Thane. You want me. It isn’t convenient. It’s complicated … but it’s unavoidable.”
“You’re my children’s twenty-five-year-old nanny,” he argued, even though the fight had left him.
“You keep saying that like I’m eighteen.” She reached up to cup his cheek, her fingernails scraping along his beard. “I’m not a child, Thane. I’m a woman. For Christ’s sake, there’s ten years between Robyn and Lachlan, and no one bats an eyelash.”
“It’s different. She’s older,” he said, even as his head bent toward hers. “This is madness.”
“Then let’s just be mad,” she whispered back before pulling his head that last inch down to her mouth.
She kissed him like he was water and she had been thirsty for weeks. Ravenous, deep, wild kisses that ignited his blood. Her hands were just as hungry, searching beneath his sweater. His stomach contracted as her cool fingers caressed his bare skin, and he groaned, losing all control.
He took over the kiss as he wrapped a hand tight around her nape and devoured her, while his other slid down her slender back and under her dress to cup her tight arse. He kissed her harder, reveling in the way she took as good as he gave, her thumbs rubbing his nipples.
Pleasure pain radiated from where his dick strained against his jeans zipper. Irritated by the tights in his way, he pushed down into them so he could cup one of her supple, round cheeks in his hand. He bent his knees ever so slightly as he pulled her into his erection, wanting inside her so badly he was about to come like a callow youth.
“Fuck.” He broke the kiss and released her.
Her hands were still under his top as she stared up at him, flushed, aroused. Confused.
Her fingers moved over his chest and just that simple touch sent a lightning bolt through his groin.
Thane squeezed his eyes closed as he reluctantly reached under his sweater to remove her hands.
“Thane?” Regan whispered.
He wanted to hear her scream his name as she came, not whisper it in confusion and worry.
She was right. They could go around and around, denying what they wanted and having multiple jealous fights over the course of the next few months. Or … he could have of her what he could before she left him.
His eyes flew open, anticipation thrumming through his blood as he made up his mind.
Regan stared unblinkingly at him, waiting for his next move.
“Just sex,” he said gruffly. “No promises, and no one can know.”
Surprise slackened her features. She hesitated so long, he could barely hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. Then to his relief, Regan nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Satisfaction slammed through him, and it took every ounce of willpower within him to not pick her up and throw her down on his sofa to have his way with her. Instead, he thought of her misconceptions about him as a gentleman. Best to disprove her of that now. “Go wait for me in the annex,” he demanded. Her eyes widened slightly. “Clothes off. Keep your underwear on because I want to take it off. And lights on so I can see you. When I get there, I expect you on the bed with your legs spread.”
Her chest heaved with surprise; her nostrils flared with arousal.
He leaned down to brush his mouth over hers. “I need to make sure the house is secure.” His hand slipped under her dress, and he touched the damp heat between her legs, making her bow into him with a moan. He licked at her lips, and she tried to chase him with her mouth, but he retreated, taunting her. Then he rubbed her through her tights and underwear, and she gasped. “Don’t touch yourself until I get there. Your orgasms are mine now.”
Before he lost his mind and just took her against the island, he strode quietly upstairs to check on the kids once more.
Doubts niggled at the back of his mind.
What people would think if they knew the gossip was now reality …
How they desperately needed to keep this from the kids …
What a selfish bastard he was letting his desire dictate his actions.
But Thane ignored the doubts … especially the one that whispered how, if it was just about physical attraction, he’d never jeopardize his reputation, his honor. If it was just about screwing some hot young thing, he could do that anytime.
It was about her.
Regan.
About burying everything inside her and watching her shatter around him with the immensity of it.
And doing it for as long as he had her.
No matter what it cost.
19
Regan
I laid there, panting, so excited I trembled with it. The ache between my legs was hot and almost painful. Months of longing had culminated to this point, and all I could think about was having Thane inside me.
I was almost mad with the need of him.
His orders had been a shock, but to my surprise, one my body reacted to. My instinct was to buck against a man’s command, and if it had been anyone but Thane, I would have. But as it turned out, his bossiness made me exceptionally hot.
Lying in my underwear, I felt a little shy, a little weird at first, but as soon as Thane stepped into the annex, everything disappeared but my need for him. He was right. This thing between us was almost a madness.
Nostrils flaring as his eyes devoured me on my bed, Thane walked toward me slowly, his arousal obvious through the pajama bottoms he’d changed into.
“Look at you,” he said gruffly, running a hand down his beard. His expression was a little dazed, as if he wasn’t sure I was real.
“I want to look at you,” I replied softly.
In answer, Thane tugged off his T-shirt and dropped it on the floor by the bed. Then his bottoms followed, and I sucked in a breath. I’d forgotten how much I liked his body. All that natural power, not overly muscled, but strong and so goddamn masculine my body reacted everywhere. His fiery gaze, the way his features had hardened with lust, made me tingle hotly between my legs. My breasts were heavy, my nipples tight.
Jutting proudly between his muscled thighs was an impressive, pulsing erection.
All for me.
Thane produced a condom as if out of nowhere, opened it with his teeth, and rolled it on. But I’d barely had time to ogle him when he crawled over me, bracing himself above me in the bed, falling between my already open thighs.
He stared into my eyes, studying me intently, and I marveled at how weird this didn’t feel. Shouldn’t it feel weird, lying in my lingerie beneath my naked boss?
The first time with someone new was always strange. Vulnerable was probably a better word. I’d felt vulnerable, except for my drunken one-night stand with Austin, which I barely remembered. This … this with Thane, though, I’d remember forever. I wasn’t vulnerable at all. I was relieved. That I’d found him.
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