This beautiful, kind, funny, sexy, sometimes irritating, emotionally suppressed Scotsman whose love for his children only made me adore him more.
I loved him, I admitted to myself as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.
And if all he wanted from me was this, then I’d take it. I’d take these memories we were about to make, and they’d just have to last me a lifetime.
Emotion choked me, and I could feel the tickle of oncoming tears, so I reached up and kissed him hard before I fell apart in his arms. Thane groaned and pressed me back down onto the mattress to take control of the kiss, and I happily allowed it. I loved the taste of him on my tongue, loved the way his beard was soft, not scratchy, and the feel on my skin was sexual and arousing. I hoped I’d get to feel it between my thighs.
As if Thane heard the thought, his lips broke away from my mouth to kiss a path down my body. When he reached the rise of my breasts and discovered I’d put on a bra that clipped open in the front, he looked up at me with amusement glittering in those beautiful, desire-filled eyes.
I bit my lip to stop a stupid, goofy grin, and suddenly Thane was over me again, crushing my mouth beneath his as he stole hungry, deep kisses. I was a little dizzy and breathless as he released my mouth to return to my bra. He removed it with quick efficiency, and I pulled the straps down my arms. The inexpensive but sexy, lacy number flew across the room. Then his hot mouth covered my right nipple and he sucked.
My back bowed as I cried out at the sharp pleasure that echoed between my thighs. Lost in his loving, I could only writhe beneath him as he moved between each breast, sucking, laving, until I was swollen and aching. And then his lips followed that invisible path down my stomach, while his big hands stayed at my breasts, caressing and squeezing until I thought I’d go mad with the need to release.
Finally, Thane reached the apex of my thighs, and his hands left my breasts, but only to push my legs open wider. He looked up at me, his features taut with hunger. And as he stared into my eyes, his thumbs met in the middle over the lace of my underwear. I gasped as he pressed down.
My hips arched off the bed into his touch, but he only rubbed his thumbs over me once more before he stopped. I lifted my head to complain, but the feral look on Thane’s face as he gazed up my body halted me. No man had ever looked at me like that. Like he’d lose his mind if he didn’t have me. I experienced a squeeze deep in my lower belly, and my stomach shook with it.
Thane’s eyes dropped, catching the movement. Something snapped inside him. His fingers brushed my lower belly, curling into my underwear. He wrenched them down my legs, and I whimpered with excitement.
I heard Thane’s grunt of satisfaction seconds before the tickle of his beard on my inner thighs and the touch of his tongue at my apex.
Need slammed through me, and my hips pushed into his mouth. Thane gripped them, pressing them back to the mattress and then he devastated me in the best way possible.
Oh my God, so this is what it feels like—I arched into him—when a man knows what he’s doing.
He studied my body, my reactions, and just when I was about to reach blinding satisfaction, he’d pull back a little, torturing me. “Thane,” I pleaded, reaching for him. My fingers slid through his thick hair and tightened. Thane grunted at the slight pull, and then his tongue returned. I shuddered, but it still wasn’t enough. Again, the damn mind reader sensed it, and two thick fingers pushed gently into me.
That was it.
It was all I needed.
I cried out his name as I came, wonder flooding through me as the powerful release swept over my body.
Shaking my head on the pillow, I couldn’t believe it.
“Never,” I whispered, touching a hand to my forehead. “Never, ever,” had it been so good.
Suddenly I felt the heat of Thane’s body, the hair on his legs tickling mine, his stomach brushing across my belly as he moved upward. His harsh need made the pulsing inside me quicken again as he wrapped his hands around my wrists to pin my arms above my head. When I tried to move them, I couldn’t. He held me captive.
I gasped, my breasts tightening, tension coiling deep in my belly. I hadn’t expected to enjoy the sensation of being held down.
But with Thane … everything was different.
His lips brushed mine, softly, sweetly, surprising me considering how hungry he seemed, and then he was there, throbbing hot between my thighs. Leaning all of his weight on my wrists to hold me down, he pushed into me.
I gasped his name in pleasured pain at the burn of him stretching me.
Our eyes held, my breath scattered as he moved inside me, the feel of him so perfect it electrified my lower spine.
And he began to thrust.
Hard.
His expression turned even darker with want and after only a few drives inside me, he released his hold on my wrists, slipped out, and got on his knees. Thane reached for the back of my thighs, gripping them in his hold so my hips and ass came up off the bed.
And then he powered into me.
My hoarse shout echoed around the annex, and Thane grunted in satisfaction as he fucked me.
There was no other word for it.
And it was glorious.
I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I wanted to touch him but I couldn’t reach. I couldn’t do anything. He was so strong, so determined, so … primal.
Watching him, watching him watch me as he drove into me, was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. I gripped the sheets as he pounded into me, hitting this place inside no man had. And in that moment, I was nothing but hot skin and sex. I wasn’t cognizant of anything but the intensity of his body inside mine and the coiling bliss building within.
I exploded.
After years of reading romance novels, I finally understood what that meant.
“Thane!” I cried, shuddering and shaking against his thrusts. The sensation was so sexy, so raw, I never wanted it to end. It was like it would never end.
“Regan, fuck!” Thane growled, and I watched him bare his teeth like an animal as his hips stilled against mine. He throbbed in me, bowing into the release in hard, jerking shudders.
As if he couldn’t hold himself up any longer, Thane rested his cheek on my stomach and tried to catch his breath.
He still pulsed inside me.
Possessiveness and satisfaction mingled as I stroked his back, his skin damp from our exertions.
I wanted to tell him it was the best sex I’d ever had, but even that didn’t sound perfect enough for what I’d just experienced.
After a while, he pressed a sweet kiss near my belly button. Thane lifted onto his hands to look down at me. His face was relaxed, sated, but I could see his busy brain working behind those soulful eyes. Before I could say a word, he kissed me. Not a chaste, sweet thank-you, but a deep, possessive kiss that promised we weren’t done.
However, apparently we were. Thane retreated to watch my face as he eased out of me, something masculine and smug in his expression as I moaned.
He got out of the bed and stood in the bright lights of the room. As he strode unashamed of his nakedness to the bathroom, most likely to deal with the condom, I squirmed on the sheets, wanting him back inside me.
Jesus, I was addicted.
When he came back out, his attention returned to me. His eyes flickered over my body, and his jaw clenched.
He wanted me again too.
Thane walked around the bed and said, his voice gruff, “I have to get back to the kids.”
God, of course. I touched my forehead, feeling stupid and irresponsible for forgetting Eilidh and Lewis. My desire for him made me a selfish, sex-mad woman.
I sat up as he dressed, pulling the sheet over me, that vulnerability I hadn’t felt the entire time now sliding over my skin.
Was that it? Had Thane scratched his itch and now we were done?
My only answer was a non-answer. He bent over me, kissed me softly, almost chastely, then kissed the tip of my
nose before hurrying away.
“Lights off,” he commanded, and the annex turned dark seconds before he slipped back out into the night.
That was it?
Stupid tears pricked my eyes as I pulled my knees to my chest. I ached between my legs from where he’d been moments ago.
For me, it had been earth-shattering. Enlightening. A stupendous awakening.
Sex had been good for me before, but I hadn’t known it could be like what I’d read about.
Mind-blowing.
But maybe it hadn’t been for Thane. Maybe what he had in the past with Fran, a woman he’d loved, meant what he’d just had with me was the equivalent of a jerk in the shower.
I winced at the thought and shook my head. No, I was being silly.
Yet I despised Thane’s ability to make me doubt myself, to feel insecure. I’d never really overanalyzed if a guy I was with had enjoyed sex. The mere act of them coming suggested they had. But it wasn’t just about Thane enjoying sex with me.
I wanted him to have experienced what I just experienced.
Something beyond an orgasm.
Love. The word whispered in my mind, and I swiped angrily at a tear. Determined not to let his abrupt departure twist up my head beyond anything but the need to return to his children, I pushed out of bed and found my way to the shower in the dark.
20
Thane
His skin heating as his thoughts turned to last night, Thane reached out and twisted the knob on the shower to cold. “Fuck,” he grunted as ice-cold water cascaded over him. But he needed it. He groaned as the image of Regan sprawled before him, taking him, her face flushed with pleasure, refused to leave his mind. Thane leaned his forehead against the cool tiles. He attempted to get a hold of himself.
He had sex with his nanny last night.
With his twenty-five-year-old nanny.
With his twenty-five-year-old, soon-to-be sister-in-law of his brother.
“And you knew that and did it anyway,” Thane murmured as he got out of the shower to dry off. And if he was being honest with himself, he had every intention of doing it again and again and again until she left or grew bored with him. That didn’t really say much for his self-respect, but as long as he got to make love to Regan Penhaligon again, his self-respect could go fuck itself.
Thane moved into the bedroom to dress. It was early. The kids wouldn’t be up for a few more hours as he let them sleep in on Sundays. The weekends were when Regan most often went next door to see Robyn or spent time with Eredine and Arro. Sometimes even with Will, Jock’s fiancé. All this he knew, because whether she realized it, Thane listened to every word that came out of her mouth.
And he didn’t want her to spend this Sunday with someone else. He wanted her in his house, even if he had to pretend like all she was to him was the kids’ beloved nanny.
Aye, he remembered the night before and grew heavy with need all over again. If it wasn’t so contaminated by his doubts and guilt, last night with Regan would have been one of the best goddamn nights of his life. He’d come so hard he thought his heart was going to explode.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his attention caught on the photo of him and Fran on his nightstand. A different guilt knotted his gut. He’d loved Fran. Adored her. Thought there was nobody like her … until she cheated on him. The sex had been great too. No complaints there.
Yet never, not even with the woman he’d forgiven and promised to spend the rest of his life with, had he ever experienced such an animalistic, desperate need to be inside someone as he had last night with Regan. Everything went out of his mind. Everything but her body, her reactions, the way she felt coming around him.
He stared at Fran smiling back, and his gut tightened even harder. “It’s just sex,” he promised her, as she had once promised him. “Doesn’t mean anything.”
Thane tensed as he remembered the sound of Fran’s dry laughter. Liar, he swore he heard his dead wife purr in his ear.
REGAN
* * *
It was a beautiful day. Much too beautiful for November. Unseasonably warm. Eils and Lew loved it, tearing across the sand, chasing each other on Ardnoch Beach. We had the whole place to ourselves.
“Slow down!” I shouted, hurrying to catch up with them. They’d gotten fast. I couldn’t seem to get within closing distance of them, the wet sand resistant to my attempts. Realizing they were growing farther away, panic set in. “Eilidh, Lewis, come back!”
“Daddy!” Eilidh screamed joyfully, and I followed her gaze to see Thane standing waist deep in the sea, beckoning her.
It was too deep.
“Thane!” I tried to catch up, to warn him. Why couldn’t he see it was too deep?
“Eilidh!” Lewis shouted now as his sister rushed into the water.
Then Thane was there, lifting her up into his arms, and catching Lewis in his other. Relief flooded me. The waves crashed gently against his waist, but he didn’t move, a powerful, solid, stalwart protector.
I loved him. I loved them all. So much.
Smiling as they waved, I continued to attempt to reach them, but they never seemed to grow any closer. “Come to me!” I yelled through frustrated tears.
A powerful arm banded around my waist, pulling me into a hard body. Austin’s fake smile filled my view, and I struggled against his hold. “What are you doing here? Let go!”
“Shh,” he hushed, hauling me into his arms and pressing my cheek to his chest. “It’s okay, Regan, I’ve got you. This is where you belong. They’re not for you. But I want you. I’ll always want you.”
I tried to yank out of his hold, but he kissed me and I couldn’t pull away, couldn’t breathe.
He let me go to say my name, over and over.
Then he kissed me again. Gentler this time.
His beard tickled.
Beard?
I felt another tickle on my cheek, and when he released me, it was Thane. Not Austin. I sagged with relief and then sighed into his kiss.
“Regan, wake up,” he murmured against my mouth.
The tickling sensation grew more insistent.
“Regan, wake up, mo leannan.”
There was a tickle across my lips again and then the shivery brush of Thane’s mouth against mine. My eyes flew open, and I stared sleepily into his gorgeous blue-gray eyes.
“Finally, she wakes,” he murmured.
He kissed me, this time parting my lips to touch his tongue to mine. Reality intruded, and I realized he’d woken me up and was kissing me before I’d brushed my teeth. Breaking the kiss, I covered his mouth with my hand as a barrier between us.
Scowling up at him, I grumbled, “I have morning breath.”
“I could give a fuck.” I think he said against my hand. He rolled his eyes as it came out garbled, curled my hand into his fist, and bent down to cover my mouth again.
I tried to resist, but it was futile. Moaning into the taste of him, coffee and toothpaste, I slid my hand up his back, pulling him down onto me as I opened my thighs to him.
“I didn’t come in for that,” he huffed as he broke the kiss, thrusting against me, his words incongruous to his actions. Desire darkened his expression, and he shook his head with a dry smirk. “I only meant to bring you coffee.”
I turned my head on the pillow and saw the steaming mug on my small nightstand. “How thoughtful.”
He braced his hands on either side of my head and then reached with one to brush my hair off my face. Last night it had taken me awhile to fall asleep, I was so filled with doubt and insecurities. However, as he looked down at me with tenderness, knowing the first thing he’d thought to do this morning was bring me coffee, check on me, I melted beneath his touch.
“I have to get back in case Eils and Lew wake up,” he said, regret in his eyes.
“Well, thank you for the coffee,” I whispered, unable to speak any louder. Knowing if one of us didn’t break the intense staring match, he might end up naked on top of me ag
ain, I pushed myself to sitting, and Thane leaned back from his seat on my bed to give me space.
Not a lot. As I reached for my coffee and sipped, his hand came to rest possessively on my thigh. My nightdress had risen indecently high, but considering what we’d done last night, it didn’t matter. Thane’s fingers stroked toward the crease in my leg, and I sucked in a breath.
His eyes heated.
“I thought you needed to get back to the kids?”
“I do.” Thane reached out and took my cup, grinning at my nonplussed expression as he placed it back on the nightstand.
“Hey, I wanted—oh!” I reached out instinctively to grab his shoulder as he suddenly slipped beneath my underwear to press his thumb over me.
Then he was kissing me. Rough and hungry as he played me. Fingers, thumb, circling, pushing, he gave me the dirtiest, wettest kiss of my life. My fingernails dug into his wide shoulders as I arched into him, panting against his kiss as the tension inside built, and built, and built—
I exploded, and he captured the sound of my cries in his mouth, his groan a delicious rumble down my throat as I throbbed around him.
Finally, he released me to pepper kisses along my cheek and down my neck as he removed his hand from between my thighs. I clung to him, trying to catch my breath. “What was that?” I panted.
“That was my version of ‘good morning,’ mo leannan.”
My eyes flew open. Was that an endearment? “What does ma le-ow-nin mean?”
He grinned at my attempts to pronounce it and kissed my nose. “I need to get back.” He avoided answering me.
“Wait.” I grabbed his arm to stop him. Sliding a hand along his jeans-covered thigh, I grinned. “What about you?”
He covered my hand as I reached for the good stuff and squeezed his eyes closed as he gently removed it. “We can’t. Don’t have time.” That stormy gaze met mine. “Later. Tonight.”
There With You Page 23