There With You

by Samantha Young

  Thane laughed softly in the dark. But his amusement died when my kisses reached his inner thigh. I teased and tormented him until he was begging for my mouth where he wanted it most. And before I gave it to him, I smirked. “That was less than ten minutes.”

  He gave a bark of laughter that cut off with an abrupt “Jesus!” as I took him deep into my mouth.

  We made love until light streamed into the room through the blinds and then finally, exhausted, we collapsed in each other’s arms. As sleep drifted over me, I smiled, our shouts of pleasure still ringing in my ears. It was like I’d marked him tonight. Made him mine in a way he could never be anyone else’s.

  While he had given me exactly what I needed—the reminder that what Austin did to me and what I’d unintentionally done to myself could never taint the connection I had with Thane Adair.

  And just maybe … maybe we wouldn’t turn out to be temporary after all.

  The next morning when I woke up, the first face I saw wasn’t Thane’s; he was behind me, cuddling me in his sleep. No, the first face I saw was Francine Adair’s, grinning from Thane’s lap in the photo on his nightstand.

  Just like that, the hopes I’d gone to sleep with—while early-morning dusk and the musky scent of sex-exhausted bodies clouded my reality—deflated.

  28

  Thane

  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept in this late, but he wouldn’t chastise himself for it. And last night had been bloody worth it. Just when he thought sex with Regan couldn’t get any better, she’d devoured him, barely letting him up for air.

  He grinned, feeling their workout in his muscles as he stretched. Regan had slipped from the bed to use the bathroom a few minutes ago, and he anticipated her return with hot blood in his veins.

  Unbelievably, he wanted her again.

  Rolling onto his elbow as she emerged from the bathroom in her nightdress, he let his eyes roam over her, his chest swelling with emotion. She was so beautiful, inside and out. Stronger than she gave herself credit for. After she’d revealed her attack, he never imagined they’d spend the night the way they had. But she clearly refused to let that son of a bitch screw with her head any more than he already had, and Thane knew he had to follow her lead on this. He was proud of her.

  He opened his mouth to tell her so, but as she neared the bed, he noted her eyes weren’t on him. They were on his nightstand.

  Thane looked over to see what had her attention and then froze.

  A quick glance back at Regan confirmed his fears.

  She was staring morosely at the photo of Fran and him.

  It had always been there. Thane had never had reason or want to move it.

  But guilt suddenly gnawed at him as Regan dropped her gaze.

  “I’m going to put the coffee on.” She didn’t look at him. Just threw a small smile in his general direction before leaving the room.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d caught Regan looking at the picture. It was, however, the first time he felt like he’d done something wrong by leaving it there.

  Sitting up, Thane scrubbed a hand over his face as he contemplated the situation.

  If it were the other way around and he’d spent all night in Regan’s bed only to wake up to the photo of another man on her nightstand—his gut clenched at the thought.

  Looking back at the picture, he exhaled slowly.

  REGAN

  * * *

  The photo of Fran was gone.

  When Thane didn’t come downstairs for his coffee, I sucked it up, deciding I was being a jealous, selfish moron. Last night he’d taken a night that could have gone down as one of the worst of my life and turned into one of the best.

  With mugs in hand, I ventured upstairs, determined to shove my confused thoughts about Fran to the back of my head.

  When I returned to the bedroom, Thane was dressed in his pjs and sitting on the end of the bed with his head in his hands.

  And the photo on his nightstand was gone.

  Contrition filled me. I placed the coffee on the now-empty spot and sat down beside him. “You moved the photo.”

  Thane lifted his head and nodded. “It was time.”

  “I didn’t mean to be obvious about it … or make you feel bad.”

  “The photos bother you.” He sighed.

  “Not all of them. Fran is Eilidh and Lewis’s mom. Your first love. She should be here in the house with them, with you. I … the one on the nightstand is … it’s different from the ones downstairs. Those are about you all as a family. That one is about you and her. I … I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t make me jealous.” I couldn’t meet his eyes. “But it also makes me hurt for you. Fran was obviously the love of your life, and you clearly can’t move on from her, and I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to not be able to love again.”

  “You got all that from a picture on a nightstand?” His question was defensive, harsh, and it drew my gaze. He glared at me, and I glowered back.

  “Not just that. You never talk about how she died. Ever. Why is it such a big secret?”

  Thane shook his head, confused. “It’s not a big secret. I assumed you knew. That one of the family told you or that Robyn told you as soon as you got here.”

  Now I was confused. “You haven’t been keeping it from me?”

  “Why would I?” He turned to me. “I don’t talk about it because it was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced … but that’s different from keeping it from you.”

  Fear coiled in my gut. God, Thane, what happened? I wanted to ask, but not after what he’d just said. I didn’t want to torment him because I was screwed up over loving a man who didn’t want to love me back.

  Thane sat up straight and stared around the room. Finally, he said, “Everything is different in here. The rest of the house is decorated pretty much as Fran and I decorated it together. But this room … I had to change it. Paint, floors, blinds, furniture …” He glanced over his shoulder, a haunted look on his face. “New bed, new mattress … She died in our bed,” he announced abruptly, and I sucked in a harsh breath.

  At the awful look in his eyes, my tears spilled over.

  “One morning the alarm went off as it always did, and I woke up. I thought Fran was still asleep … but as I started to wake up properly, I realized there was an unnatural stillness about her.

  “She was just … gone.” I saw his disbelief. “And I was in a nightmare. How do you go to sleep with your wife breathing beside you … and wake up and her body is there, but she’s not in it anymore?”

  The pain I felt for him burst out in a sob before I could stop it, and he reached for me, catching my tears on his thumbs.

  “It was a brain aneurysm,” he whispered. “Died in her sleep. Peaceful, they told me. A peaceful way to go. For her. And for that, I will forever be grateful.”

  “But it was horrific for you.” I didn’t need to guess. If one day I woke up to find Thane no longer breathing beside me, I’d lose my goddamn mind. “You’re so strong.” I reached for him, peppering tear-soaked kisses over his face.

  He returned those kisses with deeper, more intentional ones.

  “Thane”—I tried to move away from him—“maybe we shouldn’t.” Not after what he’d just told me.

  “Francine is not a ghost in this bed.” He lifted me under my arms and threw me gently on it. I gasped as he came down over me, his features harsh with need. “And I won’t let her become that for you.”

  THANE

  * * *

  Making love to Regan wasn’t just about distracting him from memories he’d rather not linger on or making sure she didn’t let the truth of Fran’s death mess with her head regarding what was between them in this bed.

  It was Regan’s tears. Her visceral, unconstrained reaction to his pain.

  That she might care enough about him to want to stay. And maybe she did. Maybe now, at this moment, she did.

  But Thane couldn’t trust her mind wouldn’t c
hange in a few months or a year or even a few years’ time. If he let himself believe in what sparked between them, she’d eventually destroy him.

  So he needed to lose himself in her body, in the distraction of their passion.

  And mostly, he needed to let go of the self-reproach that plagued him. Remorse for Fran. For her memory. Because as much as he’d never forget what it was like to love her or grieve her … Thane had moved on.

  He’d moved on in a way that shook him to his core.

  29

  Regan

  “Lew, remember your homework,” I said as he and Eilidh made their way toward the front door.

  “Got it,” he mumbled.

  “Then what’s that on the dining table?” I rounded the island and hurried to pick up his math booklet.

  I was just tucking it into his backpack as he waited patiently and Eilidh not so patiently announced she wanted to be at school already because “they were writing letters to Santy Claus today” when the doorbell rang seconds before it opened.

  Lachlan stepped into the house.

  “Uncle Lach-Lach!” Eilidh lunged at him, and he swung her up into his arms. She wrapped her little arms and mitten-covered hands around his neck. “What are you doing here?”

  “Princess Eilidh, I am taking you and your brother to school this morning.”

  He was? “You are?”

  Lachlan’s azure gaze turned to me. He seemed to study me as he nodded. “Robyn needs a word. I thought I could take the kids before I head to the castle.”

  My stomach flipped. I knew what that word was most likely about. Yesterday, I’d asked to speak with her alone, and I’d taken her for a walk on the beach to tell her about Austin’s attack in Vietnam. I tried my best to explain that I wasn’t intentionally keeping it from her, like I’d explained to Thane. I think she understood. Plus, I told her what triggered it, which meant I revealed my affair with Thane, and my sister was not in the least surprised. She said she already suspected, and Lachlan had made a few comments to her that he suspected the same thing. Panicked about him finding out without Thane’s say-so, I made her promise not to confirm it. She was so dazed and angry about Austin, I didn’t even know if she remembered agreeing to it.

  I knew she was furious at Austin, but I was also afraid she was hiding how mad she was at me. She said his attack completely changed the profile she had on him. It took his threat level up a couple hundred notches.

  Pulse racing, I stared back at Lachlan. “Oh. Okay.”

  He nodded and looked at Lewis as he held out his car keys. “Lew, you want to open the Rover and get your sister buckled in?”

  Lewis took the keys from his uncle and asked with a weary sigh, “When will she be old enough to buckle herself in?”

  Eilidh wriggled out of Lachlan’s hold, her expression mulish. “I’ll buckle myself in now!”

  Her brother hurried after her out the door. “You can’t, Eilidh. You won’t do it right!”

  “I will too!”

  “Will not!”

  Their voices grew distant as they ran down onto the drive where I knew Lachlan’s security guys were already waiting to escort the kids to school.

  All the while, Lachlan stared at me. I squirmed, knowing by the hard but tender glint in his eyes, much like his brother’s, that Robyn had talked to him. “She told you.”

  He gave me a grim nod.

  I shrugged, feeling vulnerable. “I’m fine. He didn’t rape me. Other people have had it way worse. Look at Robbie. She’s been shot three times, attacked, and almost murdered by a psycho.”

  Lachlan didn’t smile at my nervous facetiousness. Instead, he took a step toward me, his voice low as he replied, “And yet, she handled all that like a pro but cried herself to sleep in my arms last night.”

  Emotion choked me, tears flooding my eyes at the thought of my sister’s heart breaking over me. And suddenly, I knew why.

  Yesterday, she wasn’t angry with me. She was angry with herself.

  Damn it, Robyn!

  It was not her job to protect me all the time. I shook my head. “She takes on too much.”

  “It’s who she is. It’s why we love her. But—and I know I probably don’t need to ask this—I want you to do your best to convince her she didn’t fail you. Because right now, she’s next door kicking her own arse, and nothing I say seems to penetrate.”

  Seeing his concern and frustration for her, I swiftly crossed the room and hugged him.

  Lachlan seemed surprised at first, hesitant, and then he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a sweet kiss upon the head.

  I smiled and whispered, “Thank you for loving her the way she deserves to be loved.”

  His arms tightened just a fraction, and when I pulled away, I saw emotion brighten his eyes.

  God, what a gift to be loved by an Adair man. They could be infuriating sometimes, but Lachlan with Robyn and Thane with Francine were proof that when they loved you, they loved you with everything they were.

  I’d never been such a confusing mix of gloriously happy for my sister and so envious at the same time.

  “I’ll talk to her,” I promised.

  “Good.” He brushed my cheek affectionately, like a big brother might, and I decided it was really nice. “I better get the kids to school. You okay?”

  I nodded. “I’m going to be fine. I promise.”

  That promise didn’t seem to alleviate his concern, but he had to leave and I had to go see my sister.

  I didn’t bother knocking. I strode into the house, calling Robyn’s name, and when she came hurrying downstairs, I didn’t let her speak. I rushed her, throwing my arms around her. “Robyn Penhaligon, what happened to me was not your fault. You didn’t fail me, and I won’t ever think that. Ever.”

  “I know that,” she murmured, not letting me go.

  We swayed a little in each other’s arms at the bottom of the stairs. “Then why did Lachlan tell me you cried last night?”

  She stiffened and then sighed into me. “He is such a meddler.”

  Grinning, I shook my head. “Well?”

  Retreating, Robyn brushed my hair behind my ear. Turmoil roiled in her eyes, turning them a smoky gray. “I was so mad at you,” she whispered, remorse etched into every feature. “That entire time I was angry at you and judging you and feeling like I didn’t know you anymore … and all the time you needed me. You really needed me. And I should have tried harder to track you down. I should have known something wasn’t right.”

  “No.” I grabbed her hands, squeezing them, my words fierce. “We will not do this. We will not go around and around about the past two years. We both did the best we could at that time. If we feel now like we can do better going forward, great. But we can’t go back, and I won’t let us self-flagellate over the mistakes. Not when we’re here, right here together, closer than ever, despite it all. It’s pointless, Robbie. It’s not worth it.”

  She swiped at a wayward tear, shaking her head, something like awe in her eyes. “When did my little sister get so wise?”

  “I learned from my big sister.”

  “No, you’re outwisdoming your big sister right now.”

  “Outwisdoming?” I teased, pulling her into the kitchen. “Come on, we need coffee.”

  “I’ll make it. You sit.” Her tone turned serious again. “I have something I need to tell you.”

  My stomach flipped again as I settled on a stool at the island. “Yeah, Lachlan said. Is it about Austin?”

  Robyn glanced over as she switched on the coffee machine. “It is.”

  “Is it bad?”

  “Please don’t be angry with me.”

  I tensed. “Okay …”

  “I told Seth.”

  “Dad?” Horror flooded me. “Why would you tell Dad?”

  “Because …” Robyn squeezed her eyes closed. “The day after McClintock attempted to kidnap Eilidh, Seth tried to call you and couldn’t get you because of everything going on. So he called me instead
. And he mentioned that a man named Austin Vale came to the house looking for you. Said he was a friend you went backpacking with, and he’d just gotten back to Boston and was looking you up.”

  Nausea roiled in my gut.

  Robyn’s eyes changed color, golden now with anger. “The fucker lied. Getting antsy waiting for you to come back to Boston. Thankfully, Seth is a paranoid cop and didn’t tell him where you were. But I had to explain to him who Austin is. He and Mom need to know that Austin is a danger to you. Seth said he’s going to look into the guy’s finances to make sure he isn’t in the position to come chasing you across the Atlantic.”

  “Dad never mentioned it.” I’d spoken to him several times in the past few weeks. He and Mom were coming to Scotland for the Christmas holidays, courtesy of Lachlan. Dad was having trouble accepting that kind of generosity, but I told him it would be good for them to see how happy Robyn was here.

  And our relationship with Mom wasn’t the best. We both still had unresolved issues there. I didn’t want that. I wanted us to move past them. Now all my worries about seeing Mom at Christmas paled compared to the news that Austin hadn’t let go of his obsession.

  “His attack on you changes everything. I had to tell Seth, and he’s going to call you today. Be prepared because he’s going to ask you to press formal charges.”

  I shook my head, anger and frustration bubbling inside me now. Thane had asked me to do the same thing, and I’d avoided responding. “You of all people know how hard it is to get those charges to stick under normal circumstances. Accusing him of attempted rape in a foreign country a year ago?” I glowered at her. “They’ll laugh at me.”

  “No one is going to laugh at you. But Seth is right … if Austin hasn’t let his obsession with you go, then we need this on record. The charges will more than likely be dismissed before it even gets to court due to lack of evidence, but if we can track down Liam and Desi as witnesses, we might have a shot. And even if we can’t and the charges are dismissed, it will be on his record.”