by Anna Edwards
I grab Taya by her long, blonde hair, which is pulled back into its usual high ponytail, and yank her away from Juniper.
“What the hell?” Taya spins around to face me, her expression full of venom and fury. “Get your hands off me.”
She kicks out, her legs and arms flailing wildly as she tries to free herself from me. One of her legs reaches Juniper and kicks her hard on the shin. Juniper falls backwards into her seat and screams out in pain.
Frustrated with Taya’s actions and angry that Juniper’s here instead of reading the translated book, it’s now I see red.
“Enough,” I bellow loud enough the room shakes.
Taya flinches back and Juniper looks up at me from her seat with her eyes wide in fear.
“But...” Taya goes to protest but must think better of it.
It wouldn’t surprise me if I look like I might shoot fire out of my nostrils at any minute, I can certainly feel them flaring in preparation for that to happen if only I could.
“This stops now.” I shut Taya up and fling her over to where the rest of her little gang stand frozen to the spot with equal looks of horror on their faces.
They huddle around Taya as if to protect her from the big bad beast; little do they know, that’s exactly what I am. A murderer or an angel? I’ve no idea, because I can’t remember a damn thing.
“Go,” I order Taya, my hand pointing sharply to the door. “In fact, everyone out.”
No one moves, they all just stare at me like I’ve gone insane.
It’s a distinct possibility at this point in time.
“Out!” I shout again at the top of my voice, and people start scrambling to leave the room as quickly as possible. Juniper gets to her feet, her nose still bleeding and with a large bump swelling on her leg. “Not you,” I command, and she freezes to the spot.
Emmie takes a look at Juniper and then at me before giving her friend a half smile and racing out of the room. The last people to leave are Taya and her group of hangers-on.
“I don’t get it, Jacobi. You were destined for greatness, but instead, you’ve become someone I don’t even recognise. Who are you? And why are you even bothering with her? She’s nothing, and she’ll end up making you the biggest failure in Caspian Academy history ever. I won’t accept this treatment. Don’t expect me to take you back after this. We’re over.”
I turn slowly on the spot to face Taya, and a low growl reverberates from my throat, a warning of what will happen if she doesn’t leave now. I’m sick of playing games. With a flick of my hand, Taya and her friends are lifted into the air and carried along on an invisible breeze out of the room. The door slams firmly behind them, shutting out any further intrusions.
“You won’t get away with this,” Taya shouts through the door, banging hard on its wooden frame. “I’ll make sure of that. I’ll see you both kicked out of this school if I have to.”
“Go away!” I shout one final time towards the door, sending a bolt of energy flying at it for good measure.
Everything falls silent, except for Juniper’s soft sobs in response to her injuries and probably the fear I’m causing her.
I go over to the common room kitchenette, and pulling a clean towel from one of the drawers, I run it under the cold tap, feeling the heat of Juniper’s eyes boring into me the entire time. I take a quick breath to try and temper down the rage inside me before turning and stomping back over to her. Thrusting the cloth into her hand, she looks at it and then at me.
“For your nose. It’ll help with the bleeding. It doesn’t look broken, but I can take a closer look if you want?”
She shakes her head quickly, like a terrified rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
I motion again for her to put the towel to her nose and she does.
“What do you want with me?” Juniper tentatively asks as I bend down in front of her to check the wound on her leg; it’s not bruised but there’s a significant bump. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Taya’s shoes had steel toecaps in them.
“Have you read the book yet?” I snap back.
“Some, not all, I want to read it slowly so I can take it all in. I’ve also had to go to classes.”
“And sit in the common room chatting with Emmie, laughing about the fact I’m falling apart and you're the cause.”
Juniper shakes her head quickly and lowers the cloth from her nose. The blood has stopped flowing.
“No, we weren’t talking about you. Someone made a funny error in potions class today. It would have turned us all bright pink if she’d used the potion. I promise you, I’ve not spoken to anyone about what you’ve told me.”
“Because you think I’m crazy.” I sigh heavily and straighten up a bit to take a look at her nose. She flinches when I touch it. “You’ll have some good bruising tomorrow. You might want to look up a spell to stop that.”
I go to get up, but Juniper places her hand over mine on my thigh.
“Jacobi, I promise, I’ve not told anyone what’s happened. I’m reading the book, and I will help you. I just want to make sure I understand everything first. I don’t want to make any mistakes, because it might cause even worse problems for us both.”
Juniper’s words are full of honesty and promise, and I relax for the first time in days and smile back at her.
“Thank you. I don’t deserve it.”
The room goes silent, and any noise outside the doors fades away to nothing until it becomes only Juniper and I existing everywhere in this world. I know I shouldn’t. I know I’ll pay for it, but I can’t stop myself. I lean forwards and press my lips to hers. I savour her strawberry flavour and drink it down. I listen to her moan of excitement and memorise the sound so I can replay it over and over in my head forevermore. Reality quickly sets in, though. I’ve kissed Juniper and soon the pain will start, and whatever it is inside me will take over. As I pull back from her, I feel the pain in my head already beginning to stomp its treacherous beat.
“Jacobi?” Juniper reaches out to touch me, but I push her away.
“What have you done? Why do you do this to me? I hate you!” I scream and place my hands over my head as the pain gets more intense.
The blue swirls of magic will come soon, and I’ll become the monster I fear. What is it tonight, life or death? I’ll remember nothing of this. The only person to ever stay in my mind is Juniper’s mother…Juniper. Why is she the key?
“Jacobi?” Juniper tries to get to me again, but I stumble away.
Falling to the floor, my mouth opens, and I feel the blue swirls of magic start to flow from my body. I feel soft hands touch either side of my head. She’s still here. I feel her.
“Help me?” I cry before the magic takes over, and I lose all sense of who Jacobi Ashdown really is.
“Jacobi, Jacobi.” I cry forgetting about my painful shin as I slide down to the floor by his side and shake him.
It’s useless, though. The transformation doesn’t slow down. His veins are turning blue while his skin pales until it’s like snow. I don’t know what to do. He’s cold to my touch, and the wails coming from deep in his throat tell me he’s in agony, but I can’t wake him.
“Jacobi.” I try shaking him again.
His moaning stops and his body stills. Then his eyes open. Wow! I drop back onto my bum and stare at him. His skin is almost as white as a sheet, but he’s glowing with it. The blue still runs through his veins, although it’s not as prominent now, but it’s his eyes, I can’t tear my gaze away from them, they’re like diamonds. Slowly he stands up, and I continue to stare at him. It surprises me when he holds a hand out to me. My gaze shoots between his hand and his face.
“Take my hand.” His voice is so tender all I can do is comply, and I slip my hand into his. He pulls me up and looks over my face. “She hurt you.”
I don’t reply as he gently places his fingers on my nose. The sting along with the tight feeling eases, and before I can say anything, I watch as he leans down and trace
s the bruise forming on my shin with his fingers. The bruise disappears in an instant, and he stands back up, towering over me as usual, but this time with a soft smile and kindness in every feature.
“I have to go,” he whispers.
“Take me with you.” I barely manage to squeak the words, but still, he hears them. Looking between the door and me, he considers his choices. I quickly grab his hand again. “Please,” I beg softly.
Nodding, he lifts me into his arms as soft blue wings spread from his back, and then we’re flying.
“Where are we going?” I ask as we sail across the sky.
No one seems to notice us. It’s like we’re invisible.
He looks down at me as though I’m his whole world, and I wish, just for a second, that the real Jacobi felt the same way about me.
“Where do you want to go?” he questions.
“What are my choices?”
“Good or bad.”
I smile. “Good, always good.”
He nods and looks away from me as we continue flying. We don’t speak, but I take in the sun setting across the London skyline until he tilts and starts lowering us down onto a rooftop.
“Where are we?” I ask him.
“On top of Great Ormond Street hospital.”
My breath catches in my chest. “What are we here to do?”
He captures my hand. “Come and see.”
Silently, I follow him, our hands joined. No one seems to notice either of us. It’s as though we’re ghosts. We stop outside a room. The door’s closed, and I wonder how we’re going to get inside, but Jacobi drags me through the solid door as though it’s air. I have the weirdest feeling that I’ve been here before, but I can’t pin it down. Inside the room, it’s bright with happy colours and pictures covering the walls. There are personal belongings and a pretty blanket laid across the small body in the bed.
“Hello there,” Jacobi coos down at the figure.
The little boy’s eyes open, and he stares at us. His blue eyes are dull and sunken, his skin ashen, and both the hair on his head and his eyebrows have disappeared.
“Have you come to take me?” he questions, looking directly into Jacobi’s eyes, not a sliver of fear in him.
“Is that what you want?” Jacobi asks the little boy.
“Well, my mum has just gone to talk to the doctor, and I think she would be sad to see me die, so maybe now is the best time,” the boy replies.
“What’s your name?” I ask him.
“Tommy… well, it’s Thomas, but Mummy and Daddy call me Tommy,” he confirms.
I smile down at him. “How old are you, Tommy?”
“Eight, I’ll be nine in two months,” he says, holding up eight fingers, then he pauses and frowns down at his hand. “I would have been nine.”
I look at Jacobi. “He’s so smart and grown up.”
“Those who are dying see the world differently from the rest of us. It’s a very special thing and yet terribly sad,” he murmurs before moving to the bed and seating himself on the edge, still not letting go of my hand. “Tommy, I’m going to place my hand on your head, is that okay?”
Tommy nods, and his eyes dart to the door. For the first time, I see a sliver of fear in them. Jacobi places his palm on Tommy’s head, and I watch as a blue aura flows from Jacobi’s fingers into the little boy. Tommy closes his eyes, and his head drops to one side when Jacobi pulls his hand away.
“What happened?” I ask.
“Watch,” Jacobi replies as we stand in the corner.
Suddenly, Tommy’s machines start going crazy and beeping like he’s dying. My fingers tense in Jacobi’s, but he squeezes them offering me comfort as two nurses, a doctor, and a woman, who I assume is Tommy’s mum, run into the room. The mum is screaming, and the nurses are shouting at each other while the doctor is barking orders. They haul Tommy around, trying to do multiple things at once, and I want to go to his mum. I want to hold her as the tears riding down her cheekbones match my own. Then, as though the clouds open and sunlight beams down on the little boy, he sits up, he breathes, and he smiles. The nurses and doctor look at each other confused, but the mum, she’s the person I keep my eyes on, she collects her little boy in her arms and thanks God over and over again as she rocks his frail body.
“Come on. Time to go,” Jacobi tells me.
“Will he be okay?” I ask and Jacobi nods, settling my emotions slightly. As he drags me through the corridors and back up onto the roof, I look around me. “There are so many more you could save.”
He looks down at me, sadness in his eyes. “I can’t save everyone.”
His words repeat over and over in my head as we fly through the ever darkening sky until he lands on my balcony. “You’re dropping me off?” I question, and he shakes his head. “You want to come in?”
He nods, and I open the balcony door to save us ghosting through it. “You want anything?” I ask.
He shakes his head again. “Can I lay down? Rest on your sofa?”
“Of… of course.” My voice is rough, full of emotion from the events of tonight. “Will you remember this when you wake?”
“I always remember you, Juniper. You’re all I do remember.” With that parting shot, he finally lets go of my hand, and within seconds of lying on the sofa, he’s asleep.
Determined to do anything I can to help, I open the document he sent me and start reading it again, trying to understand what’s happening.
Typically, a Guardian shouldn’t be in pain when they change, and they can remember what they’ve done, where they’ve gone, and they’re able to choose between killing and saving the people they visit. I scroll through the words, trying to absorb everything. It seems when the person is in Guardian form, they are unbiased and never make choices based on their own emotions, because when they’re in Guardian form…they have none.
I read that last part over and over, tapping my bottom lip with my nail in confusion. Jacobi wasn’t cold, and he didn’t behave like he had no emotion. Maybe that’s why he’s different? But there has to be more to it than that. I walk out onto my balcony and watch as the stars become clearer in the sky. It’s a chilly night, but it’s also a calm one. Why did the hospital seem so familiar? I was adopted when I was eight, and something in my gut tells me that if I was a patient in that hospital, it must have been before I was adopted.
Jacobi murmurs something in his sleep, and I wander back inside. He’s physically back to normal now, but his dark hair, tanned skin, and sharp features all seem softer in sleep. The long eyelashes which help to frame his pretty, blue eyes now lie softly against his cheeks, and I want to touch him, but I don’t. It’s not what he really wants. No. I do have to help him, though, so maybe I need to find something to distract me from my feelings for him. Maybe I should find someone to date? Lucas or any other of Jacobi’s friends are completely out of the question, but I do need a distraction while I’m helping him discover the truth in this mess.
I nod to myself as my fingertips hover over his lips. I’ll help him find out the truth, and I’ll be his friend if he allows me. But, I’ll go out on dates, or maybe find a boyfriend, anything to stop me thinking about Jacobi twenty-four-seven. With that lingering thought, I head to bed. Happy that tomorrow is another day, and even more pleased I can tell Jacobi about what happened tonight.
The migraine still thumps behind my eyes as the morning sunlight floods over me, warming my skin, and I stir. My bedroom has blackout blinds, so what the hell is going on? How is the sun getting in here? Recollection hits me, and I remember kissing Juniper again. I must have changed. Opening my eyes, I sit bolt upright and rub them as I try to figure out where I am. I was right, this isn’t my home. It slowly dawns on me I’m in Juniper’s flat. Did I come back here afterwards? Or… a greater fear hits me, did she come with me?
What have I done?
I scramble from my makeshift bed on the sofa and run as quickly as I can to Juniper’s bedroom. My heart is in my mouth the entire time.
What if I’ve hurt her?
What if I’ve killed someone?
Please no.
Pushing her door open, I almost pass out when I see her sitting up in her bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“You’re okay?” I fall to my knees on the floor near her bed. Juniper scrambles across it and looks down at me.
“Why wouldn't I be?” she questions me in confusion.
“I don’t remember anything after I kissed you, and when I woke up here, I was terrified I’d hurt you in some way.”
Juniper shakes her head. “No, you were incredibly gentle, and last night was one of the most moving of my entire life. We went to Great Ormond Street hospital, and you saved a very sick little boy called Tommy.” Tears fill her eyes. “He saw you and he wasn’t scared. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life. Whatever is happening to you, Jacobi, it isn’t all bad, but it is scary. I was reading the document you sent me, and it says a Guardian shouldn’t feel the emotion you do when you take or give someone their life.” She pinches her bottom lip between her fingers, before letting it pop free. “I could feel you in the room. You were everywhere, and you filled it with happiness. Something strange is happening, though, because what the book describes isn’t you in the slightest. I don’t understand it, but I think we may need more information than the book can give us.”
My shoulders slump in defeat. Despite feeling happy I saved the little boy, I’m still no further forwards in knowing how to control this.
“I’m sorry.” Juniper reaches out and touches me on the shoulder before she quickly draws her hand back. She knows as well as I do, the only thing we can do now is to stay away from each other.
An alarm sounds on Juniper’s phone, and we both turn to look at the flashing, purple covered iPhone. “It’s time for me to get ready for lessons, Jacobi.”
“I should go,” I respond reluctantly. Juniper nods before silence descends. Neither of us move. “I know we’re not supposed to, but I’ll use magic to get home and then back to the academy. If I go out to my car now, it’s going to look strange. I’m probably in enough trouble for clearing out the common room yesterday anyway. Might as well add something more if I’m going to get punished anyway.” I rise to my feet slowly, taking one last look at Juniper on the bed. She glances up at me, a strange sadness on her face. “See you in lessons, Juni.”