Release

  24. Findings

  Elna’s scent was easy to follow. It was strong, distinctive, and fortunately not too offensive to her olfactory senses. There was cucumber, juniper berry, and lemon, mixed with an earthier, grassy aroma. A pleasant, almost heady scent that Tiegal could easily imagine would mix well with Johannes’ smell of coconut and orange, fire and matches.

  “Stop it!” Tiegal muttered under her breath. Her jealousy towards this girl was almost frightening, even to herself. She had to keep calm and controlled – and quiet.

  It was vital that she did not take Elna by surprise when she approached her. Enough damage had been done in the past few hours already. It was now time to heal things, not to make the girl’s pain even worse.

  As she rounded the edge of the bush and headed east following Elna’s scent, she stopped in her tracks as soon as the thatched-roofed stone farmhouse came into view.

  This had to be the house where Elna had grown up. It was small and cosy-looking. Nothing like the grand estate that Atla enjoyed, nor the decked tented camp on the water where she had been raised on Tandro. But it was in keeping with the area. A very similar style of residence to Johannes’, although the carefully planted flowers at the front, and the neat wooden fencing, suggested there was an order to the house which the Smits did not place as much importance on.

  Focusing her attention on the front door, she waited. But after several long minutes had passed she started to waver, unsure whether it would ever open.

  “At last!” she breathed, when eventually Elna appeared from behind it. Tiegal started to make a move towards her, but quickly stepped back again into the shadows, alarmed by what she saw. Elna appeared to be carrying something in her arms. A small bundle of white fabric, that she was cradling with great care - even snuffling her face into it - in a manner that suggested it was the most precious thing she had ever possessed.

  She had witnessed this kind of human behaviour before, when she had observed Annarita playing with her baby, from afar. It had a smell to it this human mannerism. It carried a particular type of love scent, a protective one.

  Before she could stop herself, Tiegal let out a little wail, which she quickly muffled into her fist.

  A baby? No! Please tell me it’s not true. Is that really why Elna left? Because she was carrying a child? Johannes’ child?

  A sensation of burning attacked the back of her throat. Confused, she pulled her hand out of her mouth, jerking back in fright as she saw the reason for the heat on her tongue, her hands had caught on fire!

  “Stop it!” she ordered them, her voice, a hoarse, terrified splutter. She fanned her hands out in front of her, both fascinated and terrified by their fiery display. Each of her fingertips burned blue flames that flickered and sparked as she wiggled them.

  Why is this happening now? I’m not even wearing my Derado.

  Taking a deep breath, she exhaled in small, controlled bursts, blowing on each finger in turn. Yet no matter how much she tried she could not extinguish the flames.

  “I knew you were not from this world.”

  Tiegal cried out in surprise at the sound of Elna’s voice. She was standing in front of her now, still holding her bundle, her eyes wide and alarmed.

  “I…I… wasn’t spying on you. I wanted to see you. To apologise,” Tiegal rushed to explain, shoving her hands behind her back.

  “Careful there. You don’t want to set your skirt on fire with those hands of yours! Fires can be dangerous you know. Once you get them started, you don’t always have control over them,” Elna commented. She swayed her body from side-ways as though rocking the bundle she carried to sleep.

  Tiegal swung her head round to check the back of her dress.

  “Oh no!” she cried again, shaking her hips from side to side in an attempt to put out the flames, realising too late that she was only fanning them into an even livelier dance.

  “Use the tree,” Elna suggested. Her voice, although shaky, sounded calm and poised. Strangely, she did not appear shocked, or in any rush to help Tiegal put out the fire on her clothes.

  Without hesitating further, Tiegal threw her back against the tree and rubbed herself up and down, finally succeeding in taking control of the burning before she caused any serious damage to her skin.

  As black smoke whispered around her frame, she threw Elna a look, one she hoped conveyed a sense of gratitude.

  “Good idea. Amazing how you panic in a crisis,” Tiegal joked. Now that her hands had calmed, and resumed into a natural, non-fiery state, she clasped her fingers into a fist and let herself fall down the trunk of the tree, crouching at the defined base of its trunk, her hands in-between her knees.

  “I don’t think I want to know where you have come from, but, wherever it is, it does not look like being you is very easy!”

  Elna’s words made Tiegal chuckle. A sense of absurdity finally bringing her back to a more stable place of reasoning.

  “That has never happened before. I’m not sure what is happening to me,” Tiegal responded, her head still faced towards her skirt-covered knees.

  Maybe you absorbed some of that darkness in that area of the bush you were messing about in?

  Tiegal gasped at the sound of Elna’s voice inside her head.

  “What did you just say?” Tiegal demanded.

  Elna frowned at her, stepping back in alarm.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “Sorry, I mean, what did you just think…just then?” Tiegal insisted.

  Elna’s voice filled her head again.

  Has he told you what he did to his father in there?

  Tiegal stepped towards her.

  “What are you talking about? What did Johannes do?”

  Tiegal shook her hands again, to check they were still safe, and then ran them through her hair. Frustrated, she pulled her hair into two bunches that she tied together with dried grass, and then yanked on them hard. Already, this was not going well.

  “I didn’t say anything! And I’m leaving. You’re scaring me!” Elna announced, turning away from Tiegal, the bundle in her arms now clasped even tighter to her chest.

  Just as she swung around, a strange high-pitched moaning noise sounded out from the white blanket that Elna held close. The sound caused Tiegal’s ear to prick up and her nostrils to flare in response.

  “Hold on! What is that in there?” Tiegal asked, reaching her hand out in Elna’s direction. When Elna continued walking ahead, Tiegal cried out again:

  “Please! Wait! That’s not a baby in there is it?”

  This made Elna stop in her tracks.

  Tiegal was almost laughing as she now realized just how wrong her first assumption had been.

  “Is that a small animal you are carrying, Elna?”

  Slowly, Elna swung round. Her arms loosened, allowing a section of the blanket to fall down. At first, it was not clear what squirmed inside Elna’s arms. A few black strands of wiry hair poked out and then retreated back. Unable to contain herself any longer, Tiegal moved herself closer, craning her neck to get a better view of what was still hidden from her curious eyes.

  “Oh my! Just beautiful!” Tiegal squealed as soon as she reached them and absorbed the unmistakable sight of a beautiful, silver-grey, feline animal with long black whiskers and huge emerald green eyes. It turned its furry face towards Tiegal and gave her a wink.

  “Ha ha! I’m not sure what you are. But, you’re beautiful!” Tiegal clapped her hands, both delighted and relieved by what she saw.

  Forgetting all that had occurred in the last few hours, and the frightening thoughts she had just heard, she ran over to where Elna stood holding the animal and threw her arms around both of them with unrestrained delight.

  “I am truly sorry for any pain I have brought you Elna,” she cried into Elna’s stiff shoulders.

  “You actually thought I was carrying Johannes’ baby?” Elna hissed.

  Tiegal pulled back from their embrace, immediately feeling ashamed. She couldn
’t believe she was behaving so foolishly, or so disloyally. What would Johannes think if he knew she had jumped to such a conclusion?

  “I…I…I just saw the way you were holding it and…well, I wondered if that’s why you left.”

  Elna’s shoulders began to shake. A forced, robotic laughter erupted from her as she squinted her eyes at Tiegal.

  “Is that what kind of girl you think I am? Someone like you? The kind of girl who would give her body to a man who killed his own father!”

  At that moment, everything around them froze: the feline creature stilled its frantic paw-licking; the leaves no longer moved in time to the strong afternoon breeze; and Tiegal’s lungs stopped heaving.

  “I c…c…can’t b…b…breathe,” she gasped.

  Elna didn’t move an inch.

  But her frantic thoughts shot through Tiegal’s mind in snippets:

  Accident…

  Too many bottles…

  The other woman…

  Not really his fault...

  Tiegal almost cried in relief. Although not a complete exoneration, it was enough for her to know that Johannes’ terrifying secret was not as dark as she had feared.

  With this confirmation, she managed to find both her breath and her strength. And as if on cue, the world around her un-paused once more.

  The feline creature gave its paw a long lick and then broke out of Elna’s embrace. It sauntered over to Tiegal’s feet and began to circle her ankles. The tree branches burst back into their rhythmic dance with the dust-filled wind. And then Elna threw her hands into the air and let herself drop to the ground in a defeated heap.

  “What a mess!” she muttered.

  “You may think I am even stranger when I tell you this Elna, but… I can hear your thoughts. So, I know you didn’t really mean what you just said.” Tiegal bent down to stroke the furry creature by her feet.

  “I didn’t mean it. Johannes didn’t kill his father. It was an accident.”

  Elna’s confession was barely a whisper.

  “Tell me the truth Elna. Please. Whatever did happen, I know it has been hurting Johannes for a long time. And I know you care about him deep down. That you would want to help him, if you could.”

  Elna slowly raised her head. Her upper lip was smeared with a thick liquid that had run down from her nose. She wiped it away on her sleeve and then attempted to clear it from the cotton material with a nearby leaf.

  “Please, Elna…” Tiegal tried again.

  Elna looked up at her and nodded. Her eyes looked like two pools of clear liquid that shimmered in the sunlight, revealing just hints of her blue-coloured irises underneath them.

  “His mother, Cezanne, had only just passed away. It was an awful time for him, and for Annarita. Their father took straight to the drink after she died and would sometimes leave the house, and the farm, for days at a time. The entire neighbourhood had to help to keep things going. Kagiso was the only one who held it altogether. I don’t know what Johannes and Annarita would have done if not for her.”

  Tiegal shuddered. She had watched Kagiso from afar, on the days when she had nothing else to do but observe the daily comings and goings of the people Johannes lived with. Even from a distance, it was clear what a strong, loving energy the older lady possessed. Tiegal was very much looking forward to meeting her, when the time was right.

  “He talks about Kagiso a lot. I know she is very important.”

  Elna nodded.

  “Yes, she is. And, she is the only other person who knows about what happened.”

  “Which was…”

  “It was about two weeks after Cezanne’s death. His mother had been sick for a long time and her passing was long and painful. I called round to his house and had to order him to come out for a walk with me. He was so sad about his Ma, and so angry that his father had deserted them, that I knew he needed to get out of the house and vent. My mother told me he’d not been eating, so I brought him some meat strips and bread to eat on the way so that he could get some energy and…are you okay? Your skin has turned a green colour.”

  Tiegal shuddered. The cat had now curled up into her lap and her stomach was rumbling from hunger and lurching in nauseating waves at Elna’s mention of Johannes eating meat.

  “Sorry, please go on,” she urged, annoyed with herself that she had stopped Elna in the middle of such an important story.

  “Johannes and I were both twelve, you know that strange age between being a child and a young adult?” Elna raised her eyebrows in an expectant manner. Her lips curled in a way that suggested she was attempting a smile, and her fair hair glowed from the dappled sunlight that had broken through the tree canopy above. For a strange moment, she reminded Tiegal of Zeno in the way she presented herself. An ally - perhaps, even, as a friend.

  “I, well, I never experienced such age transitions. I think you have already gathered that I don’t come from around here….”

  Tiegal pulled the feline creature up from her lap and gave her a gentle push towards Elna. She felt a sudden need to offer her something in return for disclosing all this vital information.

  Without hesitating, Elna picked up the creature in a way that allowed its paws to rest over her shoulder. She looked confused as she considered Tiegal’s response.

  “Oh, well, being twelve can be tricky. And, of course, losing his mother at this age was not good timing. Not that it could ever be. Annarita was seventeen and was already courting Frederick so she had more support. But Johannes really needed his father. Anyway, on this particular day, when I called for him, Kagiso suggested we headed out to the bush behind his house. She had spotted his father earlier that morning. Said he’d gone wandering off in that direction looking a bit lost.”

  “The area behind the bushes being where…”

  “Yes” Elna, lowered her eyelids. “Near your cabin!”

  At the mention of the cabin, Tiegal felt the rush of a familiar heat in her cheeks.

  “Go on,” she urged her.

  “When we got there the cabin looked empty. So, I suggested we eat our picnic in there, even though there was nothing but a very beaten up bed, but then we heard voices approaching and for some reason we decided to hide under it.”

  “A young woman with all this long reddish-coloured hair came crashing in and landed on the bed above us. She was laughing and had clearly been drinking. I had never seen her before. Nor had Johannes. She kept calling out for Anton to join her.”

  “Anton?”

  “That was his name. Johannes’ father.”

  “Oh!” Tiegal felt a strange scrunching up feeling. Her shoulders squeezed into each other, as though her body was attempting to make itself smaller. It was all too easy to imagine what must have happened next. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it.

  “No wonder Johannes was so afraid to do anything intimate. He didn’t want to be like his father,” she managed.

  Elna made a snorting noise in response.

  “Trust me strange one, you got a lot more than I did! But, you’re right. Johannes has been afraid of getting close to anyone ever since that day. Certainly, of allowing himself to feel anything like desire anyway.”

  “What did happen? I heard your thoughts just before, about how Johannes killed him. Why would you even think that?”

  She was torn between curiosity and fear. The feline creature turned its head around and gave her another wink.

  “Well, as you can imagine, he was furious that his father would do such a thing with some woman so soon after his mother had passed. We hid for long enough to hear what was going on, but then it all became too much. Johannes screamed at him, pulled him off the woman and then hit him hard across the jaw. He… he called him some very bad things. This, of course, made Anton go a bit crazy too. Ugh! It was just awful. Anton hit Johannes hard across the back of his head and shouted some truly awful things back to him.”

  Elna shuddered, took a deep breath and then continued:

  “He actually said t
hat his mother had always loved her first born the most, the baby boy who died. That she never really bonded with Johannes. Which was complete rubbish of course.”

  Tiegal’s fingertips started to burn as she imagined the scene Elna was portraying.

  “What did Johannes do? When he heard his father say that?”

  Elna shook her head sadly.

  “He screamed at him to go burn in hell!”

  “Hell?”

  Even though she knew of this bizarre, old-world concept, it was still strange to hear of a young Johannes using such terminology as a genuine threat. Elna didn’t appear to have registered Tiegal’s question.

  “As fate had it, his father did burn that night. But it wasn’t Johannes’ fault. After Anton had hurtled all his abuse, we fled the cabin and ran back to his house. I told Kagiso everything and then left her to console Johannes. But… Anton never came back. All I know is that he got so drunk he stayed up all night and must have decided to make a fire nearby. He probably carried on drinking and at some point, somehow, fell, or accidentally rolled into it. Some of the farmers found his body the next morning.”

  “Everyone knew how much Anton loved Cezanne but obviously his grief made him crazy. Johannes has never stopped blaming himself for it though. And I never once brought it up with him again. That is, until you appeared.”

  Tiegal flinched at the mention of her involvement.

  “Why? What did my arrival have to do with it?”

  Elan closed her eyes and sighed.

  “When we found the diamond by the river Johannes seemed to change in that moment. It was as if he took it as a sign of good fortune, that he could finally move on, and let himself live fully at last. I had been waiting for him to kiss me ever since we were children. And then he did…”

  “Oh…I…” Tiegal interrupted without meaning to.

  “No, no, it’s okay don’t worry, I won’t go into detail. It was just a kiss, but it meant everything to me. I was so happy. But then…”