Wicked Honeymoon (An Ivy Morgan Mystery Book 19)

by Lily Harper Hart

  “I’ll adjust my attitude,” he said finally. “You’re right. I’m being a jerk. I agreed to this.”

  “But you didn’t want to. I kind of tricked you into it.”

  “You didn’t trick me. You asked ... and I saw in your eyes how much you wanted it. Because all I want is you, I agreed.”

  “And here we are.”

  He grinned. “Here we are, and there’s nowhere I would rather be.”

  “On a tropical beach with a fruity umbrella drink?”

  “That’s still to come. There’s a reason why we organized the honeymoon the way we did. We knew this leg would be more taxing than what I had planned. In a week, we’ll have nothing to worry about but sand and sunburns.”

  She returned his smile. “I think you’re going to have more fun on this trip than you think you are. You just have to open yourself up to possibilities. The river is going to be cool. The scenery is going to be amazing. We’re going to be able to make love under the stars in a bed.”

  “I’m definitely looking forward to that.”

  “I just can’t guarantee the food.”

  “Then I guess I’ll have to let our love nourish me.”

  It was a sentimental statement that Ivy found corny on the surface, but she grinned all the same. “That was really schmaltzy.”

  “Isn’t that how we roll?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Then I’m fine being schmaltzy.” He brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the palm, making a face. “You taste funny.”

  “Yeah, I think there was definitely something on this table.”

  “Well, that’s gross. Go wash your hands and change your clothes. We’ll get dinner and take it from there.”

  “They have prime rib.” Ivy was happy as she stood. “You love prime rib.”

  “I love you more.”

  “That’s saying something.”

  “That says everything anyone needs to know about me.”

  “Right back at you.” She planted a firm kiss on his lips. “This is going to be the trip of a lifetime, Jack. We’re going to remember it forever.”

  He only hoped it was good memories they would take with them. Bad memories weren’t allowed. “Get dressed. I’m going to eat my weight in prime rib and make you massage me after. That’s my payment.”

  “I think I can manage that.”

  “Somehow I think you’re right.”

  2

  Two

  Jack was determined to be a good sport so he greeted Ivy with a bright smile and a ready hug when she opened her eyes the next morning.

  “Are you ready for an adventure?”

  Ivy’s lips curved as she regarded him, her finger automatically going up to trace his strong jawline. “This is our third day of being married.”

  The statement caught Jack off guard. “Are you keeping track?”

  “Maybe.” She made a humming noise as she snuggled closer. “I know this is going to sound schmaltzy, and if you try to tell anyone else I said it down the line, I’ll beat you up, but this feels absolutely perfect.”

  His heart soared. “I know.” He brushed his lips against her forehead. “You’re my favorite person in the world, honey. Have I mentioned that to you?”

  “A time or two.”

  “Well, it’s true.” He was quiet for a beat, his gaze on the overhead fan. “Although this room really bugs me.”

  She chuckled. “It was just one night.”

  “Yeah, but it was the first night of our honeymoon.”

  “No, we spent the first night of our honeymoon in our bed.”

  “I know but ... this is different. I wouldn’t change our first night as a married couple for anything, but this is supposed to be exotic.”

  “Are you saying this place isn’t exotic?” Ivy’s tone was teasing.

  “There are huge scratches in the table — what’s that about anyway? Did werewolves stay here? — and the bathroom is barely big enough for one of us let alone two of us unless we’re in that huge tub together.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but hotel showers are notoriously small. There’s rarely room for two people no matter what hotel you’re talking about. I don’t think that’s unique to this place.”

  “Au contraire.” He took on an austere smile. “I double-checked when I booked the hotel on the beach. The shower is supposedly big enough for four people.”

  Ivy’s forehead creased. “Why would you take a shower with three other people? Two people I get. Four seems like a weird way to spend a vacation.”

  He laughed and poked her side. “Don’t kink-shame.”

  “I’m not kink-shaming. I’m just ... you know what? It doesn’t matter.” She propped herself up on an elbow and looked toward the window. Through the slatted blinds, she could see the sun peeking through. “It looks like a beautiful day.”

  “It does,” he agreed. “We should probably hit the restaurant downstairs and get breakfast before heading over. What time are we supposed to be there again?”

  “Ten o’clock.”

  “We have two hours and the place is right across the road, right?”

  “That’s why I picked this hotel. It was supposed to be a rustic chic night before heading out for a glamorous trip on the river.”

  “Well, it was a hot and sweaty night and I forgot all about the room when we were finished with dinner.”

  “Thankfully we had that going for us,” Ivy agreed, stretching her hands over her head and yawning. “We need to double-check the bags, too. Once we drop our tropical suitcases off with the front desk, we won’t see them again for a week. Make sure you have everything you need.”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  “Speaking of kinky.”

  Jack frowned. “That’s gross.”

  “You’re the one who started it.” She climbed out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. “Since it takes me longer, I’ll shower first.”

  “Okay. I’ll check the suitcases. You know I’m ten times the worrier than you are so I’ll have everything separated correctly by the time you’re done.”

  “And then breakfast.”

  “And then breakfast,” he agreed.

  Her lips curved up. “And then a really big adventure.”

  He wasn’t as enthusiastic as her, but he nodded all the same. “And then our next great adventure. There will be a lot of them, but this is the next one.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  Surprisingly, he found he was in total agreement with her.

  THEY STUFFED THEMSELVES ON EGGS, hash browns, and toast. Jack added sausage links to his meal because he was afraid the only meat they would see over the next week would be of the Spam variety.

  There were already a bevy of people waiting in front of the check-in station when they arrived and Ivy took their paperwork directly to the table. Once finished, the friendly woman behind the table suggested they mingle, have a few snacks, and get to know the people they would be traveling with. She wasn’t surprised to find Jack standing separate from the group when she returned to him.

  “You’re not going to turn this into a thing, are you?” she asked, casting him an appraising glance. He’d showered and dressed in comfortable pants and a T-shirt. He looked relaxed for all intents and purposes ... but she knew better.

  “Turn what into a thing?” he asked as he flicked his eyes to her. She’d foregone makeup, although that was a regular thing at home, and had pulled back her long hair. He enjoyed it when her hair was flowing over her shoulders, but it wasn’t practical for a day on the river ... or whatever other things their guides had planned out in nature. Still, he absolutely loved her barefaced and earnest, which was exactly how she was now.

  “You’re over here. Everyone else we’re traveling with is over there.”

  “So?”

  “So, don’t you think we should get to know them?”

  Jack didn’t look thrilled at the prospect. “I’m going to be honest, honey, the only person I
really want to get to know on this trip is you.”

  “Oh, so we’re going to segregate ourselves from everyone else and only talk to each other, huh?”

  “You make it sound like a bad thing. It’s not. It’s a good thing.”

  “If you say so.” Ivy heaved out a sigh and studied the amassed individuals. It looked to be a variety of couples for the most part, although she had no idea how many of them were on honeymoons like she and Jack. It was possible none of them were. Some might’ve simply been looking forward to some excitement. She was determined to find out, though.

  “You can stay over here,” she said. “I’m going to meet the people we’re traveling with, though. I think that’s supposed to be part of the process.”

  “Since when are you a rule-follower?”

  She shrugged. “Since I want to get off on the right foot. We’re going to be stuck with these people for days. I don’t want to be isolated.”

  “See, I think that you’re supposed to be isolated on a honeymoon.”

  “Jack.” Ivy’s tone was low and full of warning. “You can’t be mean to these people.”

  “I have no intention of being mean to them. I just don’t feel the need to become best friends with them. In case you haven’t noticed, when people discuss us, I’m always labeled as the friendlier half of this dynamic duo.”

  Ivy made a face. “That’s not true.”

  “Um, it is so. People think you’re standoffish.”

  “I’m the friendliest of the friendly.”

  He couldn’t contain his snort. “Oh, you’re so cute.” He grabbed her chin and gave it a teasing pinch. “You’re not friendly at all, though. I’m the only reason people greet us when we’re in town together.”

  “I’ve lived in Shadow Lake my entire life. People know me.”

  “Yeah, they know you’re a sourpuss when you want to be.”

  “That is a vicious lie.”

  “And yet I happen to believe it’s true. You might want to try to get to know these people here, but you’ll lose interest in five minutes flat. I’m the one who actually makes the effort to get to know people.”

  “That sounds like a challenge to me.”

  “Think of it however you want.” Jack’s eyes twinkled. There was little Ivy loved more than a competition. He tended to enjoy going head-to-head with her too.

  “Well, then it’s a challenge.” Ivy folded her arms over her chest as she regarded the group of people who would become their travel partners in a matter of minutes. “I bet I can get more people here to like me than you can.”

  Jack was expecting the statement. “You’re on.”

  TWENTY MINUTES LATER, THEY REGROUPED at a picnic table in the shade. Jack had secured soft drinks for both of them, and the game was officially afoot.

  “I met them all,” Ivy announced as she sat across from her husband and gladly accepted the soda he passed her. “Thank you.”

  “I met them all, too.”

  “Yes, but I put effort into meeting them.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Jack let loose a haphazard wave. “Let’s break it down by couple. What have you got?”

  “Harold and Eleanor Gordon.” Ivy gestured toward a well-dressed couple in their fifties. “He’s an investment banker, something he mentioned in the same breath he used to utter his full name. Harold Levine Gordon. He made it sound like it was all one name. That means he’s proud of his status.”

  “He told me he had a yacht within thirty seconds of talking to him,” Jack noted.

  “Which is essentially him flaunting his wealth,” Ivy mused. “I asked his wife what she did for a living and she acted as if I’d asked a ridiculous question. She said she handled Harold’s business gatherings.”

  Jack sipped his Coke. “I don’t know what that means. Harold told me she was a homemaker.”

  Ivy’s chuckle was dry. “See, that’s the difference in the way they present themselves. Harold is proud of what he does and dismisses what she does. She doesn’t particularly want to work but, when I said I owned my own business, she was determined to make me realize that she did important things, too.”

  Jack hesitated. “I’m of the mind that it should be an individual’s choice if they work outside the home.”

  “Only in an ideal world.”

  “You know what I mean. If a woman — or man for that matter, because sometimes women are the ones going out and men are staying home to raise the children — wants to stay home and she has a choice in the matter, I think that’s up to her. I don’t judge either way.”

  “I don’t either. She assumed I would, though. I find that telling.”

  Jack was quiet a beat and then shrugged. “It’s probably because the types of women who come on these trips are of the go-getter variety. She assumes that all the other women who want to enjoy a vacation like this work outside the home.”

  “Why would she assume that?” Ivy was legitimately curious.

  “Because this sort of trip suggests a powerful woman, at least on paper. The fact that you own your own business and are brave enough to wander around with no makeup and pink hair in the middle of the woods makes you intimidating.”

  Ivy took a moment to run the scenario through her head. “I don’t feel intimidating.”

  “But you are. We see it in Shadow Lake all the time. Why do you think Maisie and Ava are so keen to go after you all the time?”

  Ivy scowled at mention of the two women who always went out of their way to make her life hell. “Did you have to bring them up?”

  “Sorry.” Jack was instantly contrite. “I know they suck, but the reason they go after you the way they do is because they feel inferior.”

  “I think you just say things like that to make me feel better about myself.”

  “And I think they’re true.”

  “I guess.” Ivy was thoughtful as she flicked a glance back to Eleanor. The woman stood on her husband’s left side, and slightly behind him. She smiled at whoever addressed her directly but didn’t outwardly engage. “She doesn’t want to be here.”

  Jack followed his wife’s gaze. “She doesn’t,” he agreed. “She has absolutely zero interest in being here. This is something he planned, although I have no idea why. It doesn’t strike me as the sort of thing he would want to engage in either.”

  “Maybe he wants bragging rights.”

  “That right there sounds like a legitimate possibility.” He shifted his gaze to the next couple. “Nate and Vanessa Ludington. He’s in sports medicine — something he also dropped within the first thirty seconds — and she does something on the internet.”

  Despite herself, Ivy found she was amused. “Something?”

  He shrugged. “She said she did something on the internet.”

  “I know but ... what does that look like in your mind? You’re acting as if she said she did porn.”

  “That’s kind of what I assumed she did.”

  “She’s not doing porn.” Ivy shook her head. “She’s an influencer.”

  Jack’s expression was blank. “I don’t know what that means.”

  “It’s a relatively new thing. A lot of the reality show television stars would be considered influencers. I don’t happen to agree that it’s a real job — and it kind of bugs me — but people are making a lot of money doing it.”

  “I’m going to need more than that.”

  “There can be male and female influencers,” Ivy explained. “I’m not sure what male influencers do, but the female ones take things like makeup and clothes and do videos where they explain why they like a certain product. Then all their followers go out and buy the product.”

  Jack’s expression didn’t change. “And they get paid for this?”

  “They get paid by the companies trying to hawk their wares.”

  “That sounds unethical.”

  Ivy hesitated and then held out her hands. “I’m not sure if it’s unethical. I do know that there was some party on an island where a bunch
of influencers were paid to promote it and then the party turned into a disaster and the influencers were blamed for touting something they had no personal knowledge of.”

  “I would think that’s only the tip of the iceberg,” Jack said. “I agree that’s not a job.”

  “It is in our society.”

  “Well, it shouldn’t be.” Jack pursed his lips as he regarded the woman. She was tall, lithe, and beautiful but there was something cold about her that he didn’t like. “She won’t like a woman like you.” He’d meant to keep the statement to himself, but it slipped out.

  Rather than be offended, Ivy simply nodded. “She won’t. I can’t be persuaded by others. I’m kind of devoid of influence.”

  He laughed. “There are things I can convince you to do.”

  “Fair enough, but that’s for pleasure. When it comes to makeup and clothes, I’m my own person. I don’t follow a crowd.”

  “No, you definitely don’t. That’s one of the first things I noticed about you.” He traced his finger over her knuckles. “I like that you’re your own person.”

  She beamed at him. “I like that about you, too.”

  “You’re on deck,” he prodded, tilting his head toward the crowd.

  “Oh, right.” Ivy found she was really enjoying the game. She liked knowing who she was traveling with and turning anything into a competition made things go faster. “Carter and Damien Howard.” She gestured toward two men who stood in the center of everything and captured almost everybody’s attention just by virtue of being themselves. “They’re wedding planners, in their thirties, and one of them took the other’s last name because it was better for business purposes. They announced that like it was a thing.

  “They seem gregarious, excitable, and altogether happy,” she continued. “They’re also on their honeymoon and want to chat with us about being newlyweds to make sure they’re having the appropriate experience.”