Strong Like Me

by Laurel Veil

  When I had had all I could stand, I got back on Bear and headed back to the barn.

  Fireflies danced around us on the way. I was glad to see that Cowboy had left a light on. I unsaddled Bear and led him to his stall.

  “Goodnight boy,” I whispered in his ear.

  I took his saddle and went to return it to its stand. I jumped when I saw a shadow come out of the storage room. Was I seeing things again? A silhouette then stepped into the light. I was relieved to see that it was just Jay. He came to me quickly, reaching out his hand, “Here, let me help you with that.”

  I jerked the saddle away from him the best that I could. “I got it.”

  He backed away. “What are you doing here so late anyway?” I barked.

  “I just, I—”

  “You just what?”

  “It didn’t look like there was anyone home at your house, and I just wanted to make sure you…and Bear got back safely is all.”

  “Well my dad isn’t paying you to sit around—or to babysit.”

  “I was organizing the storage room while I waited. Damn, you’re feisty.”

  “You don’t have to wait on me.” I turned on my heels and left.

  I felt a little nervous about walking into the house. I hesitated, trying to work up my courage. I didn’t understand what had happened earlier.

  A teeny, tiny, miniscule part of me actually considered asking Jay to come inside with me so I wouldn’t be alone. He could check things out. If a ghost wanted to slam someone up against the wall, it could have its way with him.

  Just then, the kitchen lit up.

  “Hi Jess,” my mom said as soon as I walked through the door.

  “Hey.” I walked to the closet and put up my riding boots.

  She had a thin, white, binder in her hand. The cover read, Jessica’s Sweet Sixteenth. She’s been carrying it around now for couple of weeks. She set it down on the counter and opened it.

  “Listen, sweetie, we need to get a few details ironed out. Ya got a second?”

  “Now’s not really a good time,” I said flatly as I washed my hands and then reached for a glass to pour myself some juice.

  “Well, we’re running out of time. Your party is this Saturday and—”

  “Which…I did not want it to be on that date,” I reminded her.

  My mom stared at me a moment and then continued like I had never said a word. “And anyway, I’ve got to make sure I have all the orders placed.”

  “Does it really matter what I want?”

  “What do you mean? Of course it—”

  “Cut the crap, mother. You are giving me selections to choose from. From the flowers to the decorations to the food we are going to serve.”

  “Yes,” said my mother. “I still don’t underst—”

  “Well I don’t like any of my options! I have a brain and my own ideas about what I want this party to be like!”

  She didn’t look surprised. I talk this way to her all the time. But she did look hurt. Good, now she knows how she makes me feel.

  “Your father and I just want to throw you a party, Jessica. Why are you so hostile?”

  “I don’t want to choose between tulips and daisies. I want roses. White roses.”

  “The florist said she wouldn’t have any white roses, Jessica. I already told you that.”

  “Figure something out, mother. There is more than one florist in the world.”

  “Beth is a friend of mine, Jess. She does wonderful work and she could really use the busin—”

  “Anyway, I wanted to have Italian food catered by Giuseppe’s, not finger food.”

  “Jess, you are talking thousands of dollars versus several hundred—which is still a lot of money. And I don’t think your friends are going to want to fool with chicken parmigiano when they could pop a pizza roll into their mouths and then head out to the dance floor.”

  “Whatever. There’s just no compromise with you.”

  My mom took a deep breath. “I know now is really not a good time for this topic—”

  “But?”

  “But have you thought about giving an invitation to Amanda Nichols like I asked you?”

  “Mother! Whose party is this? And what is your deal with Amanda?!”

  “Oh gee, I don’t know, Jess. Let’s see. Oh, yeah, for starters, she saved your life!”

  “Whatever! I didn’t ask her to. Why should I have to pay for it?”

  “Jessica. Your class is not that big; your school is not that big. Why can’t you just ask everyone to come? No one would get left out. No one would get hurt feelings.”

  “And it would be great for dad’s business, now wouldn’t it?”

  “That’s not why I want you to invite everyone, Jessica, and you know that.” She paused. “You do know that, Jessica….don’t you?”

  I turned around and ran upstairs to my room.

  I was so pissed at my mother. I mean, who did she think she was talking to me that way. She is so controlling! I grabbed my cell phone. I had to talk to Tori.

  “Hello,” said Tori.

  “Hey, I’m just calling to bitch about my witch of a mother.”

  “Really,” said Tori with a tone. “What did she do this time? Buy you a black BMW instead of a red one.”

  “What’s with the ’tude, Tor? And while I’m at it, I would’ve had to eat alone the entire time today at lunch, if Reanne and Ava hadn’t shown up at the last minute. And I had to ride home with Amanda frick’n Nichols thanks to you too!”

  “Well, let’s see, Jess. I was busy having a blast in ISS.”

  “For what?”

  “Tardies!” Click!

  I can’t believe she just hung up on me! I should dump her! I’ll have a car this weekend. It’s not like I need her to drive me to school anymore. I guess she’ll never have to worry about being late again. What a jerk!

  Suddenly, the hair on my arms rose. I felt like I was being watched. I spun around quickly to look. There was no one behind me.

  My mind was playing tricks on me because I was tired. It was getting late, so I decided to opt for a quick shower versus a bubble bath.

  I took my frustration out on my scalp and scrubbed my hair extrahard. I hadn’t meant to stay in there so long. By the time I was done, my bathroom looked like a sauna from all the steam. I wrapped a towel around myself and stood at my sink. When I looked into the mirror, my reflection looked distorted from the moisture that was on it, but not the way it usually did. I looked deformed. It gave me the creeps so badly, I quickly grabbed the hand towel from its holder and wiped the mirror. There, that’s better.

  I stared at my complexion for a while, until I saw a blur move behind me in the mirror. A scream caught in my throat. I turned around, and again, nothing was there. My heart was pounding. Is this what happens to people before they are carried off to an insane asylum?

  I brushed my teeth and ran straight to my bed. I pulled the covers up over my head. I considered saying a prayer like I used to do. I changed my mind though. I hadn’t talked to God in a long while and decided I wouldn’t start now. I found enough courage to reach my arm out from under my covers to turn my lamp out. My hand then fumbled around in the dark on my nightstand, trying to feel for my phone so I could set my alarm. Instead of finding it, my hand found an apple.

  he alarm on my cell started dinging. I couldn’t believe it was already time to get up. It took me forever to fall asleep, and once I did, I was tormented by an invisible presence that chased me down long, dark hallways all night.

  I dragged myself out of bed and got a sudden jolt of energy when I spotted the apple on my nightstand. I thought that maybe I had dreamed I found it last night, but it was really here. I never thought I could be so frightened of a piece of fruit. I must have carried it up here a while ago and forgotten. And the other apple must have fallen off the counter and rolled under something, I rationalized.

  I got ready for school. I skipped my countdown photo this morning. I just wasn’t in
the mood. It was too bad, because I had all the time in the world to take the perfect photo. Tori wasn’t going to be here to rush me. I didn’t know how I was going to get to school, though.

  I hurried downstairs to see if I could catch my mom. No luck. I could see out the window that her car was already gone. Today was Tuesday, so she was at the gym and of course my dad was at work. I didn’t want to ask him anyway.

  I couldn’t remember what time Ursula came in the morning. Maybe she could give me a ride. Then I wondered if Kamali would be with her. I started to get a little creeped out.

  I heard a noise!

  “Dad! You scared me to death!”

  He ignored me and put some papers in his briefcase.

  “Why aren’t you at work?”

  “I should be. I had some things to take care of here first.”

  My stomach twisted into a painful knot, but I was desperate. “Can you take me to school?”

  He looked annoyed. He nodded his head toward the window. “Why don’t you ask Jay? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind?”

  “Who?”

  “Jay Cagle. The guy I hired to help out around here.”

  “You expect me to ride with a stranger?” It was typical of my dad to push me off on someone else. He had always been that way and it had only gotten worse. I bothered him.

  “He’s hardly a stranger. He’s been working here for almost a month and he’s lived in Sparrow for a couple of years now, I think he said.”

  “I’m sure he has better things to do.”

  “He won’t mind; he’s heading there anyway.”

  I looked at him funny.

  “He goes to school with you, Jessica.”

  “Well, I’m not asking him.”

  “You don’t have a choice. You’re about to be late and so am I. You’re not asking him anyway, I am.” He scrolled through his cell and then called Jay. Ten seconds later, he was hanging up and rushing out the door.

  “Bye,” I said after he closed the door. I suddenly realized I was alone in the house. I started to feel nervous. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and rushed to get out the door.

  I gasped when I smacked into someone’s chest.

  “Take it easy,” said Jay. “Your dad called and asked—”

  “Yeah, yeah, spare me,” I said, pretending like he didn’t just scare me to death. “I know. Can we just go?”

  I followed him to his vehicle. I was pleasantly surprised. It was a new black Camaro.

  I must have had a funny grin on my face because Jay looked at me and asked, “What?”

  “Nothing,” I said. “I just wasn’t expecting this,” I referred to the car.

  “What were you expecting, a truck?” he asked.

  “No. A tractor.”

  He shook his head and mumbled something. Everything was inaudible except for the word feisty.

  When I got in, I suddenly felt like taking a selfie. I held my phone up and snapped it. I posted it to my wall with the caption Four More Days!

  Amanda Nichols was her usual chipper, annoying self in first period. Luckily, we didn’t have to work in pairs today. Everyone wrote his or her final draft and turned it in at the end of class. I got done a few minutes early and watched as my classmates got up one at a time to hand in their work. To say the least, they were disgusting. I didn’t know half their names and I didn’t want to.

  One guy was tall and lanky. I nicknamed him Ichabod Crane. His skin and hair were so greasy, I think he could have filled a five-gallon bucket with his own oil.

  The girl who came up after him had terrible acne. If I were her, I would have worn a berka.

  Emma was pretty but everyone knew she was a slut.

  Hannah was a whore too and her jewelry was fake and gaudy.

  The bell screeched. Finally, get me out of Loserville!

  My other classes were just as freak-filled. By the time lunch rolled around, I didn’t even have an appetite.

  It suddenly occurred to me that Tori might still be in ISS. There was no way I was going to sit alone again. I tried to think of what I could do, but I was so nervous, I couldn’t think straight. I held my breath, literally, as I made it past the Goth group in the cafeteria. They all reeked of cigarettes.

  The jocks were looking hot, but as always, they were way too loud. I spotted my usual seat at the end of the cheerleader table. They were all coming to my party. I was almost there when I realized Tori was already seated and she was sitting next to Amanda Nichols!

  I walked up to them. “What’s going on?” I demanded.

  “Uh…hello to you too, Jess,” said Tori.

  “Why are you sitting with her?”

  Tori looked at Amanda and then back at me.

  “By her, do you mean Amanda?” Tori asked sharply. Where was this backbone coming from? She was really staring to piss me off!

  “Amanda,” Tori continued “the girl who was kind enough to give you a ride home yesterday, is helping me with some algebra I didn’t understand. You remember how I missed class yesterday because I was in ISS. You know, because of all of my tardies.”

  Amanda looked uncomfortable. She was not one for confrontation, “Jess, you can sit with us if you w—”

  “What did you call me?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “Shut up. And—don’t ever think for a second that you are going to tell me where I can sit?” I gritted my teeth. My eyes were like razors cutting through her, my tongue like a dagger. “And don’t you ever call me Jess again.” A few heads turned to look at me as I stormed off. I wasn’t sure where I was heading. Just then, I saw Mrs. Danport, one of the librarians. So I headed to the library to fume.

  I was never so glad for my day to be over. I made sure I got to Jay’s car right away. I needed a ride home and I didn’t want him to leave without me.

  I had to wait almost five whole minutes. It was so embarrassing. I never waited on anybody. Everybody always waited on me. From a distance I saw a very good-looking guy I hadn’t noticed before. He must be new. Well, at least something good was coming from me standing around out here. A small group of girls approached him and he stopped to talk for a minute. Oh brother, it was Ava, Reanne, and Traci. I guess they smelled new meat too. Puh-lease b’otches. Don’t throw yourself at the guy. Have a little class.

  I kept one eye on the drama that was taking place before me and one eye on my cell. After a minute, Hot Guy started walking toward me, his harem in tow. I got a little nervous and that’s when I realized Hot Guy was…Jay! Puke! The sun must have baked my brain.

  “So, I guess you need a ride home, too?” he asked when he saw me.

  “Wow. You’re pretty smart there, Cowboy, what gave it away?” I asked.

  He gave me a crooked grin. “A simple yes would’ve worked.”

  He opened the passenger door for me. Old-fashioned, but sweet. I started to get in when he reached in and folded the seat down.

  “Seriously? You expect me to get in the back?”

  “Yeah, and so do they,” he pointed with his thumb to the harem standing behind him.

  “Seriously,” they said in unison, rolling their eyes.

  I clenched my teeth and got in. I didn’t have a choice and there were worse things then riding around in a new Camaro with a bunch of seniors.

  I had to scoot over behind the driver’s seat so Reanne and Traci could get in. Ava sat in the front. Her eyes were glued on Jay’s profile. She was devouring him with her big blue eyes. She giggled for no apparent reason and flipped her highlighted hair around. Every few seconds, she playfully punched Jay in the arm. She couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

  I rolled my eyes at her and Jay chuckled. I hadn’t realized he could see me in the rearview mirror.

  “What?” Ava asked, all smiles.

  “Nothing,” Jay said, shaking his head.

  As if she had a sixth sense, she turned her head and cut her eyes at me. “What’s so funny?” she asked again, this time without a trace of a smile.

  Jay gave
her a big toothy grin and all was forgiven.

  “You know, Jess here is having her sweet sixteen this Saturday. You ought to come”—she looked at me—“as my date.”

  Jay hesitated. “I don’t think I can.” Then he looked at me through the mirror. “I wasn’t invited.”

  “Yeah, well sorry. I don’t make a habit of socializing with my stable boy,” I said with vitriol.

  Jay tried not to laugh and Ava pretended to be appalled. “Why are you even here?” she asked me.

  “It’s his job,” I said, trying to insult Jay.

  Ava started laughing, but not at him like I had planned, at me. “I get it. Your daddy had to pay him to give you a ride!” She laughed harder.

  “That explains it,” the other girls chimed in.

  I hated Ava, but I didn’t let it show. “It’s not like that,” Jay said. I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he defending me?

  Everyone got quiet. “Oh…what is it like then?” asked Ava with insinuation.

  Oh gosh! Was he going to use this as an opportunity to say I’m his girlfriend? What nerve!

  “We’re…friends,” he said.

  Friends? Friends? Okay, I could live with that.

  He glanced quickly at me in the mirror and I stuck my tongue out at him. Reanne and Traci laughed and Jay grinned and shook his head.

  I was now riding shotgun. I was the last one Jay decided to drop off even though my house was the first one on his way. I knew he liked me.

  When he pulled up in my driveway, he shut the car off. Oh my gosh! What nerve!!

  “Look, let’s get something straight, Cowboy. You may have helped me out a little back there, but I didn’t ask for your help and I don’t owe you a thing! You got it?”

  “Uh….okay.”

  I looked at him, surprised by his response or lack there of.

  He then proceeded to get out. What was he doing? Was he going to try and win me over by coming around and opening the door for me again? Like that would convince me to change my mind about him. What a gentleman. Hey, Jay, let’s go roll around in the hay now. As if. He wishes!