She hesitated when he spoke. Both lips drew in and her eyes shimmered before she spun and walked quickly away. He watched the straightness of her spine, the flow of her golden hair brushing her shoulders, the curve of her waist and the sway of her hips. His hands still burned. His chest felt cold and empty. His heart ached.
What if he quit his job and moved back home?
“Hello? Gator? I don’t think you heard a word I said.”
“I didn’t.” His eyes didn’t leave Avery’s retreating figure until she disappeared around the corner of a building. Gator shifted his gaze to Kristen.
Her lips were set in a straight line and her hands were planted on her slim hips. “I think the lady doesn’t want you. She didn’t seem to be moved by your groveling.”
Irritation flashed hot in his chest. Of all the people in the world he really didn’t want to see him beg, Kristen would have been numbers one through twenty. At least. But he had been begging for Avery, and he’d do it again.
“She has good taste. I was just trying to get her to lower her standards.”
“To get to Avery’s standards, you’d have to dig a hole,” Kristen said with disdain. “If you’d have begged me like that, I would never have let you go.”
He wasn’t going to fight with Kristen, again, over whose fault it was that their marriage collapsed. He wasn’t the one who cheated, and he wasn’t the one who left. “Did you want something?”
“Yeah, they’re going to give the lumberjack awards for first, second and third place before the fireworks start. You need to get down there.”
He’d forgotten about the ceremony the town always had before the fireworks. Everyone who won a competition would get a ribbon. He and Avery would get a prize for their tree too. But it looked like she was leaving. Then he remembered, she couldn’t leave. She’d come with him. Unless she hitched a ride with someone else.
“Thanks for the reminder,” he said to Kristen before he took off at a jog in the direction Avery had gone.
He turned the corner just in time to see a short, curvy blond get in the passenger side of a pickup. A man, who looked very much like his suddenly ex-friend, McKoy, closed the door behind her and walked around to the driver’s side.
Gator sped up, until he was almost full-on sprinting, but he was still a block away when the pickup pulled away from the curb.
McKoy did a three-point turn in the quiet street. As he backed up for the last time, Gator could see Avery’s cheek shine in the streetlamp. Pain shot through his chest like a mountain lion had dragged a claw from his breastbone to his abdomen.
Just as the truck started forward, she looked up. Her eyes widened and her hand swiped at her cheek.
He stopped in the middle of the street with his hands on his hips, his chest heaving. He’d already begged her to stay, now he’d just chased after her.
Tell him to stop, he begged silently. But although her head twisted, keeping him in her sight until the truck had pulled away, her mouth stayed closed. At the last second, he saw her fingertips on the window as though she was reaching out for him, but the truck kept moving.
He considered going back, but he didn’t feel like celebrating. He certainly didn’t want to be around people, especially Kristen. Plus, he hadn’t had time to consider the question that had popped up in his mind earlier: what if he quit his job and moved back home?
Avery brushed her hands together. Dust flew off of them and pooled in the sunlight that shone through the cracks in the barn.
“Too bad you have tickets to see that concert with Mrs. Franks tonight. I think we could have finished clearing off the barn floor today,” Jillian said, dangling from a barn beam while attaching a string of lights.
“It doesn’t really matter. It’s not like we can scrub it down. Water on these old boards will just rot them out. I wish there was something we could do about all this dust, though.”
“We’ve swept it a hundred times. The dust comes with the territory.”
“I guess.” Avery looked around. This would be a perfect place for wedding receptions and family reunions. But people wouldn’t put up with the dirt. It would need a thorough renovation before anyone would even consider renting it. Hopefully folks would overlook it for one Christmas party.
Jillian finished tacking the string of lights to the horizontal beam. “You can tell me this is none of my business, but I kind of thought that Gator might be around to help us this week. After seeing you two looking so cozy at the Christmas celebration…” She hopped the last three feet to the floor and landed with a soft thump.
“Of course you can ask. We’ve been through enough this fall with Harper and Wyatt’s wedding and leaving for Chile and the farm’s being shorthanded—you’ve covered for me many times. And you’ve certainly earned the right to pry into my personal life, such that it is.”
“And you have deftly sidestepped my question,” Jillian said with a slender brow arched high above her right eye. She placed a graceful hand on her slim hip. “Well?”
Avery shrugged and looked at her nails. Sparkly red and green. Happy colors she chose specifically to try to mitigate the black cloud that had hung on over the weekend and through the first few days of this week.
“His job is in Montana. I’m planning on moving to D.C. Tell me how that’s going to work. I think we’re a little old to pretend that a Skype relationship is going to lead anywhere.” She gave Miss Prissypants a pat as she walked to the pile of greenery.
“Don’t people play the tuba in Montana or listen to music?”
Avery picked up several pine boughs and arranged them in a swag long enough to go over the door, tying them with twine. “You’re saying I should run to Montana, chasing after some guy who’s probably just going to leave me anyway, once someone better comes along.”
“Really? That’s how you see Gator?” Jillian asked. Her head tilted to the side before she swung another string of lights over her shoulder and shimmied up the barn beam.
“He’s a man.” Miss Prissypants rubbed against Avery’s leg. She cut the twine with snap of her scissors before picking the cat up and petting her.
“Men are the enemy?”
“They leave.”
“That’s funny. Gator looks like a guy who wants to put down roots. Deep roots.”
“He’s already been married and divorced once.” That wasn’t fair. None of what she was saying was. Gator was so much better than she was making him sound.
“You know the details? Was it because he left? Really? I saw the ex. She looks like a gold digger.”
Avery was slightly amazed at how well Jillian had pegged Kristen. She seemed to be confident in her assessment of Gator too. “How can you tell these things about people?”
“Maybe after working with animals so much in the circus, I’m better at reading non-verbal cues. I could be wrong.”
“You’re right about Kristen. According to Gator, anyway.”
Jillian clung to the overhead beam as she tacked the light string up. “I don’t have to live with your choices. Only you do. I just think you might be a little wrong about Gator.”
“He never said anything about long term. And honestly, life is messier with a man in it. I don’t need one.” But she wanted one. It was some kind of internal desire that she couldn’t shake. But only for one specific man.
“Your choice.”
“Seems to be yours too.” Avery set her cat down and picked up two more pine boughs.
“My life is going to be dedicated to making the world a better place for animals.” Jillian tossed a treat. It landed on the floor about ten feet away. Her dog came out from under the old hay mow and snatched it before going back to its makeshift cave.
“You’ll be great at that.” Avery didn’t even flinch from the dog. Thanks to Gator. “The nice thing about having a barn floor you can’t scrub is that you can do things like that and it doesn’t matter a bit.”
Jillian laughed. “It’s perfect for dogs and men.”
<
br /> “And kids.”
“So basically, only women won’t appreciate it.” Jillian jumped down, landing lightly on the barn floor.
Avery set her things aside.
Jillian unplugged the lights and walked out the door in front of Avery.
“Yeah. And, I think with the right ambience, women will love it too.” At least she hoped so.
Ninety minutes later, Avery pulled up to the Franks’ drive. She hadn’t seen Gator since she practically ran away from him at the Christmas celebration. Thankfully, she’d run into McKoy, who was also leaving before the presentations and fireworks and he’d been happy to give her a ride home. He’d been upset that Gator had brought her and left her, so she’d had to explain that it was all her fault.
She paused for a moment before she got out of her car. Maybe Gator wasn’t home. Maybe she wouldn’t run into him. Maybe the cramping in her stomach was indigestion and not nerves caused by the possibility of seeing him again.
Definitely nerves, she reasoned, as the front door opened, and he stepped out wearing dark blue jeans, a bright green plaid button up, and scuffed brown cowboy boots, and her lungs froze. Her heart, on the other hand, tried to jump out of her throat. Presumably to try to get closer to the man it beat for. Drat the stupid thing.
Well, she could hardly drive away, and she was only making herself look stupid by sitting there, so she yanked on her door handle and stepped out of the car.
“Hey,” Gator said as he walked down the walk toward her. The lights from the Christmas decorations emphasized the rugged lines of his face, but his eyes were shadowed. His shirt made his shoulders look wider and she allowed herself a couple of seconds to admire them before she forced herself to look away.
She’d never seen him dressed this nicely, not even at the Christmas celebration, so he must be going out. Maybe with Kristen. The thought stung, and she pushed it away.
“Hey. Your mom and I are going to a concert together. I’m here to pick her up. I’ll just walk in myself. Looks like you’re headed out, so I don’t want to hold you up or anything.”
He had tilted his head and let her ramble, but he didn’t move out of her way.
She ended up stopped in front of him and forced herself to stop rambling.
“Mom had a pretty crappy day. She’s sleeping now, but before she laid down she asked me to take her place.” His feet were planted apart and his hands hung down at his sides like a gunslinger at high noon, waiting on her response.
“What’s wrong? Is it just the treatments?”
“Yeah. Each time she goes, it hits her a little harder. This has been the worst week so far. Thankfully, there’s just one more.”
“Yeah. Then hopefully nothing but good reports. I wish she’d have said something when I spoke with her on the phone yesterday.”
“She told me she knows you’re busy with the barn and didn’t want you to take time away from that for her.”
“I see.” Avery fingered her Christmas tree earrings.
A couple of beats of silence ticked by.
“If you don’t want to go with me, I understand,” Gator finally said.
Avery pushed the worry over Mrs. Franks aside. Suddenly, she felt young and carefree. Every time she’d been with Gator, she’d had fun, and tonight would be no different. She batted her eyes, “You’re tall, handsome, and you took third place in the lumberjack competition. Of course, I want to go with you.”
His jaw sagged before he said, “You’re going to hold that third place finish over my head for the next hundred years, aren’t you?”
“Nope. I’ll take an artistic man over big muscles any day.”
“Well, I don’t have an artistic cell in my body. Are you sure you don’t want to rethink your choice of a date for this evening?”
“You have artistic cells. I’ll help you find them. We’re going to the college orchestra concert after all.”
Gator stopped in the act of opening her door for her. “Orchestra concert?”
“Yes. And you are not allowed to say anything nice about the tubist.”
“That won’t be hard.” Gator smirked at her. “What’s a tuba?”
“Whoa. Stop right there, mister. I don’t require my dates to be able to play an instrument, but they at least have to be able to identify the brass section.”
He closed her door and walked around the car. After he sat, he glanced over. “I can pick out the harp, I think. Is there a harp in the orchestra?”
“Humph. A harpist would rather be sharp than out of tune. And I hope you aren’t ticklish.” Avery waved her fingers in the air imitating a harpist’s hand movements.
“Oh, boy.” Gator’s expression was mock-horrified. “I’m definitely ticklish. But only on my feet. Might work if I don’t take my boots off.”
“Guess a foot massage is out of the question.”
“But you’re not a harpist.” Gator winked at her.
Avery wiggled her fingers in the air again. “I can give a good imitation.”.
Gator laughed. Which was a better sound than the entire orchestra, including the harp, playing a perfect chord.
“Did you really not know that we were going to see the orchestra?”
“Nope. Just got in twenty minutes before you got there. She’d mentioned at lunch she didn’t feel well, but it wasn’t until I walked in tonight that she asked me to take her place. Until I was done with my shower, she was sound asleep on the couch.” He looked over at her. “I made sure home nursing would send someone at the normal time.”
“Oh, good.” Avery signaled, then turned right. “You don’t have to suffer through this if you hate it. I know it’s not for everyone.”
“I might be able to force myself to sit through it if you hold my hand.”
“That’s it? That’s all it takes?”
“Yeah. That’s all it takes.”
With a little twist in her chest, she took her hand off the steering wheel and placed it between them, palm up. “I’m a big believer in practicing.”
“I just converted.” He slid his hand into hers. The same sweet sensations from before slipped like a slow melody up her arm, wrapping around and squeezing her heart. Her lungs stumbled before she stiffened and forced air into them.
His thumb rubbed over her super-sensitized skin. She kept her eyes on the road. How was it that just holding this man’s hand threatened to derail her entire concentration?
“I thought about this a lot this week,” Gator said softly.
“Me too.” After his raw honesty, she was unable to be anything but the same.
The only sound was the muted hum of the car motor. Lights blinked in the interior as they passed street lights and decorations.
“What are we going to listen to tonight? Holiday music?”
“Not exactly.” She launched into an explanation of the music being performed tonight and why they were playing it close to Christmas.
Gator seemed interested and asked pertinent questions, which surprised and pleased her.
When they arrived, he hopped out and opened her car door, then took her hand again. “Is this odd for you?”
“What? Holding a man’s hand?” She shrugged. “Actually, yes. I haven’t done it much.”
“I was actually talking about going to a concert to watch and not play.”
“Oh.” She laughed. “Yes. I guess that’s kind of not the norm. But over the years, I’ve enjoyed live music in which I’ve not been playing.” She hadn’t really thought of it, but she really hadn’t been to a full orchestra concert simply to listen and enjoy for years. “Hopefully, this will be the last one. I’m going to audition the day after tomorrow.”
“That’s great,” Gator said, and she believed he meant it. “What about the storm that’s coming? Will they reschedule?”
“No. I actually have the very last spot on the audition schedule. The announcement will be made Monday and rehearsals start after the New Year.”
“You’re going down e
arly?”
“To avoid the snow? I can’t. Jillian and I need every second left to get the barn fixed. I’ve driven in snow before. I’ll be fine.”
Gator didn’t answer, but his lips set in a disapproving line.
They arrived at the door to the auditorium. Avery handed their tickets to the usher, who directed them to their seats.
The familiar scent of music cases and rosin mingled with the palpable excitement and nervousness of a live performance. Avery squeezed Gator’s hand as regret and eagerness along with anticipation and desire swirled through her.
He squeezed back. “You’re okay?”
“Yes.” Her body hummed with emotions set on edge by the man beside her.
“Where’s this tuba player that I have to hate.”
“You don’t have to hate him.”
“I know.” He shifted, putting his arm around the back of her seat. His fingers rested lightly on her shoulder. At that moment, she would rather have been in the audience than on the biggest stage in the world. As long as Gator was beside her, it wouldn’t matter.
Her brain froze. Was that true? As long as Gator was beside her, it wouldn’t matter where she was or what she did? She examined her mind, trying to determine if she really believed that.
Before she had enough time to think, he asked her about the music listed in the program, and they talked until the lights dimmed.
Chapter Fourteen
With his fingers on her shoulder, Gator could feel the music pulse through Avery. Even if he weren’t touching her, her enjoyment was obvious on her face and he admired it openly. It wasn’t like he needed to be looking at the stage in order to hear the music, which, to his surprise, he hadn’t hated.
But he liked Avery’s expressive face far more than the music. Idly, he wondered if this was music one could dance to. Ballroom dancing, maybe? He’d never been even the slightest bit interested, but for the chance to hold Avery while she closed her eyes and enjoyed something so thoroughly, he’d suddenly developed a very, very strong interest.
Just Right Page 15