ADifferentKindOfCosplay

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by Lucy Felthouse


  Ah-ha! Zach was pretty sure a lightbulb had just appeared above his head.

  “Reese?”

  “Mmm-hmm?”

  “Am I allowed to ask questions during this film, honey?”

  Tearing her gaze away from the screen and turning it on him, she smiled. “Yes, of course. I’ve seen it dozens of times, and it’s not like we’re at the cinema. Why, what did you want to ask?”

  “I’m just wondering something. Even as a straight guy, I can see that there are an awful lot of good-looking guys in this film. So my question is, what order would you do the Avengers in?”

  Unfortunately for her, she’d just taken a mouthful of food. Snorting, she clapped her hand over her lips. Chewing and swallowing quickly, she turned to him, grinning. “I wasn’t expecting that, I must admit.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you choke. So, what’s your answer? Go from the one you want to sleep with the least, to the one you want to sleep with the most.” He engaged his brain, hoping like hell his memory was up to the task of remembering five names in the correct order.

  Having recovered her composure, Reese didn’t hesitate to answer. “Bruce Banner, because in Hulk form it’d be impossible. Then Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and Hawkeye.”

  “Oh,” he said, taken aback by her rapid response. “You didn’t even have to think about that, did you?”

  Giggling, she replied, “No, because I’ve thought about it many times in the past. What can I say? They picked a very attractive cast.”

  “That they did. So Hawkeye’s the hottest, huh?”

  “Oh yeah,” she said, nodding enthusiastically. “He may not be the biggest, most muscular Avenger, and technically he’s not a superhero. But he’s definitely the sexiest. You know, when he’s not under Loki’s spell. Mmm, those arms…”

  Zach realized she’d drifted off into fantasy-land, but it didn’t matter, not one bit. He had his answer, and therefore his plan of action. Casually, he picked up his phone, trying not to draw Reese’s attention, tapped in the list she’d just reeled off and saved it for his own reference.

  Excellent. Not only would he give his girlfriend the birthday surprise of her life, he’d do it in her preferred order too.

  Chapter Six

  “These are fantastic,” Zach said, looking through the boxes that had been delivered to the shop for him. “Absolutely fantastic, thank you.”

  “No problem,” said the store manager, who’d bent over backward to help out.

  Zach had no illusions—he was spending a small fortune on his crazy plan, and the shop had to be making a tidy profit out of it, so no wonder the manager was being so nice. But, he realized as he looked at his new collection, he was going to have to take advantage of that kindness just a little more.

  “Uh, I never actually thought there would be so much stuff, or that it would be so heavy. I don’t suppose you could call me a taxi? There’s no way I can carry all this—much less on the Tube.”

  “Absolutely. Bear with me—I’ll go and get the number of a local firm and get that sorted for you. We could have had it delivered to your home, you know.”

  “I know.” Zach nodded. “But that’s problematic. My girlfriend and I both work full-time. She works odd shifts, and I work mostly days, but not the same ones each week, so it would have been nigh-on impossible to specify when I’d be around to take delivery. And there was no way I wanted to risk Reese receiving it—this is all a surprise for her. I want to get this home and hidden away before she gets home from work.”

  “Ah, I see.” The man smiled. “That makes sense. Well, let me go call a taxi and then I can help you put the boxes in the car when it arrives.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

  “All part of the service.” He headed into the back of the shop and was gone for a few minutes, then reappeared. “Okay, all sorted. Someone will be out the front in ten.”

  “Great, thanks. Well then, I’ll get settled up and be out of your way.” Pulling out his wallet, he waited for the man to input the details into the till and hand over the card machine, then slotted his credit card into it—he’d worry about the amount in a few weeks. By then he’d have been paid again, and he was due a fair whack of commission, so he should be able to cover it easily enough.

  He punched in his PIN, removed the card when he was told and put it away. Taking his receipt, he thanked the man again. “You’ve been so helpful. I really do appreciate it.”

  “That’s what I’m here for.” Turning and popping his head through the doorway into the back of the shop, he yelled, “I’m just going to help my customer put his purchases into a taxi, okay? I won’t be long!”

  Zach didn’t hear the response, but it had clearly been in the affirmative, as the manager stepped from behind the till and grabbed one of the boxes, while Zach picked up the other. Together they headed for the door, where the man propped the box against the frame while he pulled the handle, letting them out.

  Once outside, they put the purchases on the pavement as they waited—mercifully the weather was dry.

  After a couple of minutes of idle chatter—during which Zach was supremely grateful that the man didn’t actually ask what the outfits were for—a taxi rounded the corner, indicated and pulled over in front of the shop. The driver, spotting the load, hopped out and opened the boot so the boxes could be put in.

  Before climbing into the back of the car, Zach turned to the store manager and held out his hand. “Thanks again, mate. When I’m next shopping for this sort of stuff, you’ll be my first choice.”

  They shook hands, and the man smiled then headed back into the shop.

  Zach got into the taxi and shut the door, then gave the driver his address. Settling back into the seat, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. The most complex bit of Reese’s birthday surprise was sorted. He grinned. It was just the fun bit to take care of now.

  When the car drew up outside his house, Zach kept his fingers crossed that no freak occurrence had brought Reese home early. He doubted it but hoped his luck would hold out.

  Grabbing some money from his wallet, he paid the fare, thanking the driver, who offered to help him with the second box. Gratefully, Zach accepted the offer and had both boxes in his hallway within a couple of minutes.

  “Okay, Zachary,” he said to himself, closing the front door, “now you have to find somewhere for these to live for the next week. Somewhere Reese won’t find them.”

  The answer came to him quickly—the cupboard in the utility room. Reese never went in there, complaining it was too full of crap and she was scared something would fall on her head and knock her out. Both of them had often mentioned clearing it out, but they’d never gotten around to it. Now Zach was supremely glad of that fact—he could shift some stuff out of the way, stash the boxes at the back, then cover them up again, so if Reese happened to look in there, which was highly unlikely, she wouldn’t see them anyway.

  For now, though, he wanted to have a good look at exactly what he’d bought. He hadn’t wanted to examine his purchases too closely in the shop in case the manager thought he was looking for faults, or worse, started asking questions. The last thing he wanted was to have to confess to someone that he’d spent rather a lot of money on a bunch of outfits in order to repeatedly seduce his girlfriend for her birthday because he couldn’t think of anything else to get her.

  To an outsider—even a geeky outsider, as the shop manager had clearly been—it would sound odd, and kind of selfish, given he’d be getting sex out of it. But he knew Reese better than anyone, and he was confident she would like his quirky surprise present and would be impressed that he’d thought of it.

  Christ, he really hoped his confidence would pay off.

  One by one, he lugged the boxes into the kitchen. He opened the first box, carefully unpacked all the items and placed them on the table. Quickly, he surmised he’d found the clothing and accessories for Captain America and Iron Man—though thankfully the latter wer
e not actually made of iron.

  Impressed with the quality, he replaced the items then repeated his actions with the contents of the second box. Outfits for Thor and Hawkeye lay on the table, equally good quality, and fortunately he could, in fact, lift Thor’s hammer. Nodding in satisfaction, Zach suddenly wished he didn’t have to wait a whole week for Reese’s birthday. Now he had everything under control, he wanted to execute his plan, not stew in anticipation and worry for seven days.

  Well, tough, he’d have to. And besides, he wasn’t entirely finished, anyway. He hadn’t gotten her a card yet. Plus the practical side of him dictated that he needed to find another gift for her, something more family-friendly. If anyone asked what he’d bought her, she couldn’t exactly tell the truth, now could she?

  Safely closing up the boxes and stashing them back in the cupboard, he resolved to try each of the outfits on when he got chance, just to make sure they fit. Not that he had enough time to do anything about it if they didn’t, but if there was a problem, he’d rather find out in advance rather than trying to pounce on Reese as spandex stopped the circulation of his blood or something. He was pretty sure he’d fail to be a sexy Captain America lookalike if his face was purple or his dick fell off.

  Then he turned to the internet once more. In this scenario, he figured he’d definitely get away with an Amazon gift card. At least that could be reasonably explained to friends and family when they asked what Zach had bought Reese for her birthday.

  Chapter Seven

  The alarm clock went off, and immediately Zach’s heart raced.

  Reese silenced the alarm, then let out a groan.

  Zach kept his eyes closed, not wanting to let her know he was awake just yet. All he needed was a few minutes to compose his thoughts.

  His first one was, Fuuuuck!

  This was quickly followed by, Christ, it’s today—it’s Reese’s birthday, her thirtieth birthday, and I’ve gone and bought the most bonkers present known to man. What if she hates it? What if she hates me? God, I could be homeless by lunchtime.

  He continued to let the panic flow through his brain, hoping that some common sense or at least calm would kick in soon.

  Come on, man, he told himself, get a fucking grip. Roll over and say good morning to your beautiful girlfriend before she kicks your arse.

  Pulling in a deep breath through his nostrils, Zach opened his eyes and rolled over. He was met by Reese’s sleepy and incredibly cute face. Pressing a kiss to her lips, he said, “Good morning, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

  “Morning,” she said, her voice still thick with slumber, “and thank you.” Snuggling into him, she added, “Humph. Do you think anyone will notice if we stay in bed all day?”

  Chuckling, Zach replied, “I’m afraid so, sweetie. People want to talk to you on every birthday, never mind such a special one. So what’s your plan for the day, since staying in bed is out?”

  “You don’t have a plan for me?”

  Pulling back so he could look at her face, Zach frowned. “What do you mean? Am I supposed to have arranged something?”

  Reese narrowed her eyes. “No surprise visits? No party? Seriously?”

  His heart began pounding again. Christ, after all that, he had fucked it up! “Um, sweetie, you said you absolutely, categorically, definitely did not want a party. I made completely sure it wasn’t just one of those things people say when they mean the exact opposite, and you assured me that fuss was the last thing you wanted. So no, I haven’t arranged a party. And nor has anybody else. Your mother wasn’t impressed.”

  Reese’s eyes were wide now, horror-stricken, and Zach wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Homelessness and singledom were in his near future, he just knew it. He brushed the back of his hand across his damp forehead, then wiped his sweaty palms on the sheets. “Um…”

  Reese’s expression changed and she burst out laughing. Giving him a playful shove, she said, “Zach, I’m joking! I’m joking. You’re right. A party or any kind of fuss is the last thing I want. So thank you for making sure nothing like that is in the works.”

  Zach continued to stare at his girlfriend, not yet seeing the funny side.

  “I’m sorry, babe,” she said, kissing him. “I was just winding you up. Don’t take it to heart.”

  “Uh.” He shook his head, chivvying his brain to catch up. “Okay. Great. No party, no fuss. So does that mean you don’t want breakfast in bed?”

  “Hell no!”She winked. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day—I don’t think you making and delivering it is fuss, exactly, do you?”

  The cheeky expression on her face made him want to shove her back onto the pillows, strip her naked and ravish her. But he restrained himself—that would have to wait. If he was going to show her some superhero action later on, he needed to conserve his energy.

  Sending apologetic thoughts to his crotch, he tipped Reese a wink. “All right, birthday girl, one breakfast coming up. What would you like?”

  “Nothing too filling—I expect Mum will be around later with one of her cakes. And as much as a party is a no-go, cake is a resounding yes.”

  “Bacon sarnie? Brown sauce?”

  “Perfect.”

  Getting out of bed, he pulled on a pair of shorts before heading into the kitchen. He made two cups of coffee, delivered one to her and was thanked with an erection-inducing kiss, then returned to start on a couple of bacon sandwiches.

  A little while later, they were leaning up against the pillows and making happy sounds as they chowed down on their sandwiches. “So,” Zach said, after swallowing the last morsel and putting his plate down on his bedside table, “you never answered my question. What’s the plan for today?”

  “Well,” she replied, handing him her empty plate, “first, thanks for that. It was delicious. Secondly, I ought to get showered and dressed. It’s Saturday, so I’m guessing that means people will be dropping around before long with cards and presents. With any luck they’ll all be pretty early, so we can lock the door behind them then spend the rest of the day alone together.”

  “Really? You just want to spend the day with me? I’m flattered, baby, but if you want to go out, we’ll go out. We could go somewhere for lunch, go for a walk, whatever you like.”

  “Well, maybe we could go for a walk and lunch, but after that I want to be here. Just me and you.”

  “Your wish is my command, honey. Now before you go for a shower, would you like the cards and presents that are already here?”

  She grinned. “What do you think?”

  Rolling his eyes, Zach opened the door of his bedside cabinet and removed a stack of envelopes and small gifts. He handed them to Reese, then leaned back into the pillows again and watched her get stuck in.

  Catching sight of his writing, she shot him a glance, then deliberately separated his envelope from the others. “I’ll save yours until last.”

  “Okay. Whatever you want. I’ll go put this stuff in the dishwasher.” Collecting their used crockery, he loaded the dishwasher and tidied up the stuff he’d used in the kitchen before returning to their bedroom.

  Reese’s expression was one of happiness and fondness. She’d clearly had some nice cards and presents so far—though he expected none of them were particularly things she wanted, more the sort of stuff people buy when they don’t know what else to get.

  “What’s in the haul so far, sweetie? Anything we can sell for millions, quit our jobs and move to a desert island?”

  “Ugh, I wish,” she said, putting a small gift box on the growing pile. “Just the usual, so far. Perfume, earrings, necklaces, bracelets…though one of my colleagues has clearly been listening for a change.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. She got me a gift voucher for Forbidden Planet.”

  “Oh, right.” He tried to sound a little confused. “You mean that geeky shop you like?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Fantastic. Wish I’d thought of that.”
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  She narrowed her eyes at him again, and Zach mentally kicked himself. Cool it, mate, otherwise she’s going to get suspicious.

  Fortunately for him, at that moment the doorbell went.

  “Shit!” Reese zipped out of bed and ran for the bathroom. “I bet that’s my mother!”

  Zach smiled, then turned and headed for the front door to find out.

  Chapter Eight

  Reese smiled for what felt like the bazillionth time as she waved goodbye to her family. She paused for a further minute out of politeness as they walked down the street, then closed the door. Letting out a heavy sigh of relief, she shoved on the safety chain and shot the dead bolt, slumping against the cool wood.

  “Hey.” Zach’s voice came from behind her, gentle in tone.

  “Hey,” she said, slowly turning around. When she caught sight of him, she frowned. “What are you…”

  Her boyfriend had slipped on a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and fluffed his dark hair. He’d changed out of the jeans and T-shirt he’d been wearing since he’d gotten out of the shower and into a purple shirt, mid-brown slacks and smart shoes. There was something vaguely familiar about his outfit, but she couldn’t for the life of her work out why he was wearing it. Especially not the glasses—Zach had perfect eyesight.

  “Sweetie,” she said tentatively, wondering if it was possible that having her family at their house for almost the entire day had triggered a nervous breakdown. It would be understandable. “Why are you, uh, dressed up? I thought we’d agreed to stay in this evening? Clearly a walk and lunch is off the table now, but we can always do that on my next day off.”

  Zach tsked. “We’re not going out, birthday girl. We’re staying in, just like you asked. And that’s fine by me. It fits in with my devious plan perfectly.”

  “Your devious plan?” Reese shook her head. She still didn’t get it. Why would Zach put smart, if not entirely “him” clothes on if they were staying in?

 

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